What to do when you do not like their teacher? UPDATE #6

[bubbaray]

UPDATE #6: DD#1 went to the library yesterday during gym. She loved it! She said that she asked the librarian if she could help, but there were no tasks to do, so she got to quietly read a book. She said "it was nice and quiet", LOL. Oh, and she chose a book in French -- she says that she finds it easier to read in French than English. :thumbsup:

I was a bit concerned about what she might think about going to the library by herself, so it is nice that she likes it!

She had a physio appt yesterday and it went well. Things were a bit out of alignment, but he worked on that. He's hopeful that we're still on track with things.
__________________________________________________ _________

UPDATE #5:

So, I had an update and the computer ate it. Gah!

I was in hearings today. In between hearings, I checked my email and the principal replied to my email (below) that DD#1 would be going to the library for gym. She said that DD#1 would be kept in the classroom for recess & lunch. Um, yeah. Not happy about that. I called DH and told him that I was busy at work and HE had to handle it. I quickly replied to the principal that her "solution" was punishing DD#1 for having an injury and it would isolate her socially -- plus, she would be stuck inside the classroom alone with the mean teacher. I told her to expect a call from DH.

I was furious. Seriously. I was ready to ask a coworker to take my hearings and go pull DD#1 from school.

Anyway, DH handled it. DD#1 will NOT be staying inside for recess or lunch/second recess. She will go to the library during gym or any running extracurricular.

He also handled the food issue. Principal spoke with the teacher (confirmed in an email) that teacher is not to inspect lunches, but can teach nutrition.

Apparently today, a classmate got spoken to about a homemade banana muffin that had, gasp, chocolate chips in it. OMG. This teacher is seriously insane.

DH has already picked out her Christmas present. A big box of Ding Dongs.



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UPDATE #4:

Well, DD#1's foot was much worse Friday night and Saturday morning, thanks to being forced to do the run specifically against my wishes and the dr's note. I didn't find this out until dinner time on Friday.

So, I just sent an email to the principal (about the activity issue) and a letter in DD#1's agenda to the teacher (about the lunch issue).

I vented to a bunch of dance moms who are teachers and got some pointers from them too. Not to mention all the IRL moms I've spoken to about this are just pi$$ed. One offered to come with DH and I as a "witness" to confront the principal and teacher -- apparently she uses this technique a lot. Who knew? I've now spoken to most of the moms from DD#1's class too and EVERYONE is concerned about their children not eating lunch at school, but only about 1/2 knew the teacher was inspecting lunches. The rest just thought their child wasn't eating for some strange reason.

I am simply baffled as to why on earth a teacher would want to be around 24 hungry children? That makes no sense to me. Don't children learn better when they are fed?? Weird.

I so appreciate everyone's advice on this thread. :thumbsup:

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UPDATE #3: Sooo, very interesting afternoon. There are a lot of children who are going to be getting quizzed tonight by their moms about lunches in our school. LOL. The mommy buzz is in full swing and I talked to a bunch of moms today after school (but not at school). This should be interesting. The parents at this school are VERY involved and demanding.

So, apparently the new-to-our-school G2 teacher of the OTHER class is wonderful, best teacher in the district. But, the class is full. So, can't move to that class, not that I think they would let me, but good to know for DD#2 (assuming the new teacher stays).

Apparently, "inspection" of lunches is not new in this school -- its just my first encounter with it and its being done in a not-as-nice way. Apparently, all of the teachers that we haven't had along the way do this and parents just ignore and keep sending in what they send in. Parents find it annoying, but don't say anything.

And, the other thing I found out is that the Kindy teacher that DD#1 loved -- well, I dunno what's happened, but she's no longer the awesome teacher and is showing movies in class and having the K's nap. One parent I spoke with today is furious (she's a teacher herself and is some ticked). Apparently, kids aren't supposed to nap in K, nor watch TV. This the first year of full-day K in our school for French students, so this teacher has never taught full-day K before (though she's been teaching K for years and for 12+ yrs at our school). Parents have complained to the principal and have been told "its a choice program, if you don't like it go to a different school".

Hmmmm, so. We shall see. One mom I spoke with today was so ticked about the nap issue that she's going to go up the chain on this.

I might back-door it with the PAC president, who is friends with the principal. I see the PAC president at swim team practice, so might casually bring it up.

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UPDATE #2: Just spoke with the principal.

(1) Foot injury: Principal agrees with me, dr has said excused from activity, so principal will find another activity for her during gym time and communicate that to teacher (it will likely be DD#1 goes to the library, which is fine by me). None of this "well, she seemed OK", or "its just movement", or whatever.

(2) food. Well, OK, not what I had hoped for. Principal only wanted to talk specifically about *my* DD, not about how this is offensive in general terms. She said I need to write a note in the agenda saying that DD has a doctor-approved diet for medical reasons and to please not say anything negative about her dietary choices. **I NEED HELP WORDING THIS other than "don't complain about my DD's lunch, you miserable b!tch". Principal said she didn't have time to discuss the provincial nutrition curriculum with me (I've since found it and see why, its HUGE).

(3) general -- I said I was very concerned about my interactions with this teacher. Principal said unless I have teaching competency concerns, there was nothing she could do. Said this teacher was very organized, communicates with parents (I agree, we got this letter pretty quickly and it is well-written (no typos), just not what I want to hear about nutrition). She said that this teacher knows her students well and has a very good idea about where each student is academically. So. Just not going there, I guess.










I've just reviewed the nutrition curriculum and it does indeed include the following:


healthy eating practices, and why healthy eating practices are important (e.g., for energy and growth, to help prevent diseases)

choosing healthy snacks, and planning healthy snacks for school


They also teach the Canada Food Guide, which is similar to the USDA food pyramid. The curriculum says on this to do a food scavenger hunt:
Follow up with a class discussion, focussing on how food groups can help us plan eating choices that make sure we get enough of the nutrients we need to grow and stay healthy.

I guess I don't have a problem with them teaching healthy eating, in this case it is the *delivery* of how this teacher is doing it -- singling out students and pointing out unhealthy choices.

So, hit me with your ideas for how to word the note in the agenda. It needs to be short and polite (so I can't be my usual bitchy self). something along the lines of:

"DD has medical issues with respect to lack of weight gain. She follows a dr-directed diet for this reason (and also due to food allergies). Please don't make negative comments (or please only make positive comments) about her food choices as she is very sensitive to this topic. We need her to eat, period. Thank you."

I just totally HATE THIS.

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UPDATE #1: I tried to talk to the teacher at drop off today, which I know is not ideal, but seems to be the only solution in the short term. Told her that DD#1 was NOT to do the run today. Her reply "she is doing what she can". I said, no, that is not good enough -- she will do whatever, but the DOCTOR said NO RUNNING, period. I don't care if my child *will* run, she is MEDICALLY UNABLE TO. Can you tell that conversation did not go well?

I then said I would like to talk to her about eating issues. She said I could book a time with her. I said I did not know how to do that given the strike, she said to write it in DD#1's agenda (calendar/daytimer).

So, another mom/friend saw this exchange (as well as 2 other exchanges I've had with the teacher since school started on the 6th). She said to me "Wow, she sure blows you off". So, it is not just me imagining it. Mom suggested that I go to the principal. I stopped at the office, asked the secretary for a time, she's going to call me back.

I'm pi$$ed. I just do not like this teacher, it is clear she does not like me (which I am used to professionally, but I really try hard to keep my lawyer-self far away from school).

I swear, if DD#1 has lost so much as an ounce at her next asthma appt in October, I will lose it.

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Trying very hard to keep this out of the BP.

Changing schools is not an option. I am highly doubtful that changing classrooms is either -- the program is full, there are class size limits, etc. There is a 50/50 chance that DD#2 will be stuck with this teacher for G2 as well.

So, I have to make this work even though I took an instant dislike to this teacher on the first day of school.

Specific issues are that DD#1 currently has a serious foot injury, I have given the school a medical note exempting her from gym, yet she's still being made to do gym (this happened last spring and I had to fight the school on the no gym then too). DD#1 also has serious food allergies and is being follwed by her specialist for lack of weight gain (she grew in height, but did not gain any weight for 2.5 yrs). Teacher is spewing all sorts of nastiness and not letting kids eat their lunch if she d/n like it. The lunch I pack is healthy, lots of choices (b/c I need to encourage my kid to eat) AND it meets DD#1's allergy restrictions.

I want to strangle the teacher on the food issue -- its taken me years to get my kid to eat and now she is in tears every night over not being allowed to eat what I pack. I have to make a special trip to the school today to tell the teacher to not force my kid to do a 5k run today at school.

I'd like some strategies for coping this this teacher. TIA

[Katigre]

That sounds like more than just personality conflict. How is the principal at the school? It sounds like it's time to go up the chain of command.

[pinkmomagain]

The teacher may be a fine instructor, but there seems to be some kind of a breakdown when it comes to medical/health issues. I cannot even fathom a teacher commenting on food brought in, let alone not allowing a child to eat it! (Unless it was comprised solely of jellybeans and marshmallows...then I could see the teacher addressing the parent.)

I am wondering since these are medical/health issues if you could work it through the school nurse in some way. Have you spoken yet directly with the teacher on these issues?

[crl]

Is there a language barrier? If you are sure the teacher understands the medical issues, but is still doing these these things, that's really serious. I remember last year your daughter wouldn't remind teachers of her food allergies, she was too afraid?

Honestly these are the kinds of issues that would make me think about changing schools. Your daughter is being berated for the food she brings? When she has life threatening food allergies? She has been and may still be forced to exercise on a seriously injured foot, despite a doctor's note? It sounds to me like her physical health and safety are in jeopardy at this school.

Catherine

[g-mama]

OMG, may I ask what are the foods the teacher disapproves of? I can not even imagine. I have seen all sorts of lunches and the teachers may have feelings about it (like a girl whose lunch was comprised of five 100-calorie packs), but NEVER tell the child they should not eat something their mom packed. WOW.

[larig]

I have never heard of such a thing, how horrible!!! Certainly the principal could do something about this!!? I'm so sorry. Your poor girl!!

[Ceepa]

That's nuts. Is the teacher confused about your daughter's allergies? Does she think DD has something in her lunch that may trigger her allergies or another child's?

A note from the doctor giving the OK to DD's lunch choices may be in order.

[infomama]

I have great respect for dds teachers but if she was being subjected to this treatment I would be in that womans face. She is acting WAY outside the scope of her teaching duties by making comments about her lunch and by withholding her food I would say she is borderline abusing your dd. If this was happening in our school heads would roll and the teacher (and affiliates) would be reported. The school should be respecting the doctors order without question.
I would get your gloves back on.

[bubbaray]

Teacher appears to be an Anglophone from Quebec, so fluent French but speaks English equally as fluently. Communication/language is not a barrier -- plus, this was all put in my annual "reminder" email to the principal, which was then forwarded to the teacher (all of which I confirmed on the first day of school).

Teachers in K and G1 have also sent home letters about food choices, asking parents to send healthy food. Nutritional choices is also part of the curriculum starting in K. I don't think DD#1 is being berated, I think the teacher is just clueless. FWIW, there are many other children in the school with FAs.

No school nurse to work with. I have a good relationship with the principal, but am really pi$$y today (and PMSg on top of that), so going up to the principal at this run today and saying "OMG, I can't stand Mme X" or "What the he!! is Mme X's problem?" might not be the best approach, KWIM?

Can't stress enough that changing schools is not an option. Its a highly sought-after choice program (French Immersion). It works with our daycare (the only FI choice school that our daycare transports to and the 2 other English schools are full/closed to new admissions). Brand new earthquake-proof school building (most schools here are not seismically sound and are being retrofitted, so to be in a brand new school that IS sound is a huge deal -- we are in a high risk earthquake zone). Most importantly, DD#1 LOVES this school and the kids. Moving schools isn't an option, nor is changing classes. Gotta work with this teacher (and not throttle her).

Today's lunch (typical):
entree: sandwich (whole wheat nut-free bread, olive oil mayo, cheddar cheese & "natural" deli turkey)
snacks: fresh grapes & cherries (total about 1 c), unsweetened applesauce cup, nut-free granola bar, nut-free cookie, whole-grain Nutrigrain bar, homemade snack mix (hot air popcorn, Cheerios, Goldfish, Chex, nut-free pretzels).
Drink: always water

Other entrees are turkey chili, pasta casseroles, rice & chicken bake, quesedillas, etc. Other snacks are baby carrots & dip, different fresh fruit in season.

Not all the snacks are for school -- DD#1 goes to aftercare/daycare and has swim practice from there before I pick her up. So, I pack stuff like the granola bars that I know she'll eat that are whole grain but give her an energy boost. Aftercare also serves more fresh fruit & veggies, cheese & crackers, yogurt, etc as snack.

Its not a super-healthy lunch, but it is OK. Its not complete junk. And, besides, like I told DH this morning, if I want to send Twinkies every day, I can (obviously I won't and she's never had a Twinkie). I choose whole-grains. I try to hit protein & dairy for the entree. I've been packing her lunch daily since she was 1y old and the main issue I have is that it has to be nut-free.

[bubbaray]

Oh, and I forgot to mention the most special part of all of this. There is a teachers "job action" (strike) right now. They are working, but not doing any administrative duties -- which includes no meetings with parents. Fun times. So the teacher can't/won't officially "meet" with me and IIRC won't meet with the principal (though if I pitch it as a health issue, they will meet). She did meet with me on the first day of school, which surprised me.

And the school is "litter free" so we are supposed to send everything in reusable containers. I've long since ignored that rule, b/c I'm not unwrapping every bar and putting it in its own container every day. DD#1 just brings all her litter home and I throw it out at night.

[crl]

If changing schools simply isn't an option despite her health and safety being at risk at this school, then I would suggest approaching the principal as rationally as possible. (I would be unable to be rational with the teacher at this point, that's why I would go to the principal.)

So, I guess I'd go to the principal and say, "I am concerned that dd's health and safety are in jeopardy at your school. Her current teacher is withholding her lunch and not following my instructions, which are backed by a doctor's note, regarding exercise. How can we solve these problems immediately?"

Catherine

ETA. Cross posted. The job action is all the more reason to go to the principal.

[Roni]

I'm usually all about working with the teacher and having a positive relationship, but this is ridiculous. If you have not already had a phone conversation or face-to-face conversation, do that. If you have, ask for a conference. If necessary, bring the principal in to the conference. Try to not go behind the teacher's back--you want to try to work together the best you can, instead of being adversarial, but you have to advocate for your child.

I don't know how school choice works in Canada, but is this a public school?

Edited to add, I missed that last post, too. If the teacher won't meet with you or take your call, go to the principal.

[zag95]

It makes it pretty difficult that you can't have a meeting with the teacher due to the "strike" issue.......

I'd go to the principal. State that you are concerned that your child is being asked to do things that put her health at risk (gym and food issues) and what is the school going to do to support what the doctor's recommendations are?

I am assuming there is no other teacher for your dd's grade?

Talk about how your concerns are affecting your child:

Anxiety about foods (negative when you have been working with your doctor's on weight gain, etc)
Issues with exercise (when you have been restricted for healing purposes etc).

How does it make you and your daughter feel when these are ignored? Try to make the conversation focus on what is best for your daughter- so it takes some of the emotionalism out of it......that you are advocating for the safety of your child.

GL- don't know what I would do if I was in your situation- it's a tough one.

[Green_Tea]

So, I guess I'd go to the principal and say, "I am concerned that dd's health and safety are in jeopardy at your school. Her current teacher is withholding her lunch and not following my instructions, which are backed by a doctor's note, regarding exercise. How can we solve these problems immediately?"



I agree with this advice. I would also consider starting with email, so you have a paper trail.

[div_0305]

On the foot injury---what is the matter with them? A dr's note is a dr's note. They have to follow it unless they want to pay up if your DD gets injured further. I'm shocked how controlling this teacher and school can be over food brought from home. I hope you get this fixed asap. Can you go into school during lunch to make sure your daughter gets to eat her lunch? Our school encourages parents to visit and/or sit and have lunch with their child. I go in as a cafeteria parent volunteer time to time.

[JustMe]

I think crl's post is a great idea. Especially since the teacher can't meet with you due to the strike, this seems very appropriate and not overstepping at all. The only other thing I would try to do, maybe, is call your dd's doctor's office and see if they can call the school directly. People tend to listen to doctors.

[bubbaray]

Yes, this is a public school, but it is a choice program. In our district, it is by registration. All other districts in our province do French Immersion by lottery. FI is a highly sought-after program in all districts. Our district has many FI elementary schools (and HS's), but this is the only one that works for us.

The 1st thing the principal will say if I go directly to her is "did you talk to the teacher" -- but I have no clue how to do that with this stupid strike. I can't email, don't have the teacher's email.

There are 2 full classes of French for each grade (so 2 x 24 students in each grade). Other teacher for G2 French is new to the school.

Am running out now to drop off. Wish me luck!

[Roni]

If you can't find a way to communicate with the teacher, then just say that to the principal. Or, contact him/ her and say, "Dd is having these problems. What do you suggest I do?" (Someone else can probably come up with better wording.)

The teachers at my dds' schools are so responsive and even proactive. It's hard to imagine being in this situation. ( I can see having problems, but I can't imagine not being able to address them.) We're not in a top-ranked school system by any stretch of the imagination. I kind of think that sometimes top-ranked programs are kind of full of themselves. It's like--"You're in my wonderful program. Be happy you're here and don't complain."
(Wow I guess I'm in a mood today.) Good luck and hugs!

[cuca_]

So, I guess I'd go to the principal and say, "I am concerned that dd's health and safety are in jeopardy at your school. Her current teacher is withholding her lunch and not following my instructions, which are backed by a doctor's note, regarding exercise. How can we solve these problems immediately?"

:yeahthat:

I would also bring up the possibility of a classroom change. I know you think it's not an option, but you never know. I would suggested in the nicest possible. Maybe say that you understand that it might be a lot for the teacher to remember/deal with, but that it is after all your DDs health and wellbeing, so you would feel more comfortable having someone else dealing with it -- meaning a different teacher.

We had DD2 switch classrooms early in K and it was the best thing for her. No one could believe the school agreed to, but it was so evident that they were a terrible match, that we did not even had to fight for it.

I would definitely request a change and see what happens.

I'm sorry you are having to deal with this.

[Melanie]

dI'd like some strategies for coping this this teacher.

IF you have already spoken to, called and/or emailed the teacher about these two issues at least twice, I'd go to the principal with a history of your attempts with the teacher. IMHO, this is not little stuff that you're complaining about. It is health and safety.

[Melanie]

Oh, and I forgot to mention the most special part of all of this. There is a teachers "job action" (strike) right now. They are working, but not doing any administrative duties -- which includes no meetings with parents. Fun times. So the teacher can't/won't officially "meet" with me and IIRC won't meet with the principal (though if I pitch it as a health issue, they will meet). She did meet with me on the first day of school, which surprised me.


OMG!? HOW IS THIS LEGAL?! Who thought this was a good idea?!

I admire that at least they're coming to teach the children, but it would seem there are many important things not being done. Is this to get parents to put pressure on the district or something? If so, I'd throw some energy that way (as in, my child's health and safety is being compromised and the teacher will not meet with me, solve this problem and get them back to work!), and it might endear you to the teacher.

[Globetrotter]

Wow, in this case I would talk to the principal (how can the principal ask you to speak to the teacher first when...... you can't!) and explain what's going on.

[crl]

Yes, this is a public school, but it is a choice program. In our district, it is by registration. All other districts in our province do French Immersion by lottery. FI is a highly sought-after program in all districts. Our district has many FI elementary schools (and HS's), but this is the only one that works for us.

The 1st thing the principal will say if I go directly to her is "did you talk to the teacher" -- but I have no clue how to do that with this stupid strike. I can't email, don't have the teacher's email.

There are 2 full classes of French for each grade (so 2 x 24 students in each grade). Other teacher for G2 French is new to the school.

Am running out now to drop off. Wish me luck!

Good luck!
Catherine

[bubbaray]

bumping for update

[bubbaray]

OMG!? HOW IS THIS LEGAL?! Who thought this was a good idea?!

I admire that at least they're coming to teach the children, but it would seem there are many important things not being done. Is this to get parents to put pressure on the district or something? If so, I'd throw some energy that way (as in, my child's health and safety is being compromised and the teacher will not meet with me, solve this problem and get them back to work!), and it might endear you to the teacher.


Well, OK, backstory. Teachers are union here. They have a very strong union. Union negotiates a master contract for the whole province (like a state). Gov't is trying to get concessions from the union in this round of bargaining and they are at 0% for a wage increase. Teachers want a 20% wage increase and additions to the contract. To say that the gov't/union relationship is toxic would be an understatement.

The Labour Relations Board recently issued an order saying that while the teachers are an "essential service" and lost the right to officially strike/walk a picket line (legislation the gov't passed during the last strike, which was 3 weeks long), the LRB now says that they could strike for 2 weeks because the last 3 week strike didn't "harm" the students.

Teachers are very unlikely to strike between now and Spring Break (March), mainly due to weather. The economy and public sentiment (not in their favor) are also factors. Our economy is much better than that in the US, but its still not all rosy. A 20% wage increase demand (disregarding the other demands, which are truly insane -- 9 days off if a friend dies??) is outrageous IMO. Teachers here are MUCH better paid than in the US.

There is very little public sympathy with the union from the polls I've seen and the parents I've talked to. Most think teaching is the ultimate cushy job and the union has completely lost its mind. I am friends IRL with teachers and I come from a family of teachers. Most of my teacher friends do NOT support their union and think this strike is a complete crock.

So, there you have it.

[sste]

BR - - that is unbelievable. Unfreakingbelievable.

I would book an appointment and if possible go in with your DH so you can each play good cop/bad cop (modified bad cop, bubbaray, not lawyer bad cop! maybe your husband should do it. :)) and also both of you there emphasizes the complete seriousness of the matter. And "blame" the doctor. We know how busy you are teacher but our doctor has been adamant that DD is risking LIFELONG damage and injury which could affect her ability to walk and certainly to play sports. She could have mobility impairment FOR LIFE. You can inflate a bit here if needed. Same for weight gain. And btw your lunches sounded great to me.

Also phone or talk to the gym teacher and recess monitors (maybe even lunch staff?) if they are directly overseeing physical activity/food. My sister is teacher and she always recs going to the directly supervising teacher since even with a cooperative teacher/admin messages from parents are often not passed on or are mangled. The gym teacher can make sure she isn't running.

HTH.

[bubbaray]

Also phone or talk to the gym teacher and recess monitors (maybe even lunch staff?) if they are directly overseeing physical activity/food. My sister is teacher and she always recs going to the directly supervising teacher since even with a cooperative teacher/admin messages from parents are often not passed on or are mangled. The gym teacher can make sure she isn't running.




No separate gym teacher -- gym is taught by classroom teacher (separate specials are music, band and library, plus any that the PAC brings in, like yoga teachers, gymnastics teachers).

Sigh. Playground supervision. Again, the strike is an issue. The teachers are refusing to supervise. The non-union staff (principal, VP, administrators from the District) and parent volunteers are doing it. It is very stop-gap right now. Other districts have cancelled recess completely, so I'm not going to complain about supervision -- at least we are still having recess.

This strike thing bites. HOWEVER, I do think that my issues with this teacher would have been present regardless. I just don't like her. :(

[crl]

I am so sorry that didn't go better. I hope the principal is able to help.

Catherine

[elektra]

I would be so fuming that I would have a really hard time pushing back tears and holding off on completely exploding in a crazed manner at that teacher.

What is her deal???
Do a lot of kids try to fake injuries to get out of gym? It's just ridiculous that she would be singling out your DD #1 this way, as she actually loves physical activity (dance/swim/skiing) and you are all really committed to that as a family.
And WTF on the food??

Is she a complete idiot? An injury or illness due to her not following your instructions which are based on a doctor's advisement has lawsuit written all over it and hello, you are a lawyer!

Maybe that wasn't the best response as I know you are already riled up but really?

If you have to deal with this teacher, and it sounds like you do, as moving schools in not an option, I would try to get to the heart of the matter with her if that has to happen before the principal will speak with you- is it the kids trying to ditch gym (does that really happen at G2? I thought it that was more of a middle school thing.)? Is it the general prevalence of unhealthy snacks?
It seems like she is lumping your DD #1 with a group of kids who may be gym ditchers or have parents who pack bad lunches. But that you itemized lunch sounds really good to me, and I just can't see what she would have an issue with (the packaged stuff?)
I would try to stress kindly and firmly that your DD actually loves sports and would love to be running around but she is in jeopardy of a serious long-term injury if she does so. She is not trying to get out of anything.
And with her allergies, and weight gain challenges, you actually take a lot of thought with her food and pack them based on a doctor's advice, and her lunches need to be LEFT ALONE.

[bubbaray]

Thanks. You ladies are helping me feel my reaction is more normal and less PMSg. LOL.

According to other mom I spoke with this morning, teacher "patrols" the lunches. Walks around the room and inspects what everyone has brought. Points out what is not healthy, etc. DD#1 told me she wasn't "allowed" to eat x, y, z. I'm not sure how it is being conveyed, but given the frosty communication between the teacher and me, I don't doubt that it comes across to at least some of the students as "you can't eat a granola bar at school".

Fun stuff, they are starting a nutrition unit next week. Letter home from teacher said (and this is a direct quote) "We will soon start a nutrition unit, so the children can help you make good choices!" WTF? Seriously. WTF do I say to that except "Thanks. I've decided to send Skittles. Have a nice day!"

As for the activity, I think I'm just going to tell the principal that given the lack of cooperation, DD#1 is not to do gym, period. The teacher can bite me. I'm so ticked about this. DD#1 is crazy-active. What they do in school is completely useless IMO.

[bubbaray]

Anyone have any ideas for questions I can/should ask the principal?

How long do the students have for snack & lunch?
School policy on lunch contents?
School/district/Ministry policy/curriculum on nutrition -- what *can* the teacher say/teach on this issue?

Discuss specific medical issues -- re lunch (food allergies and weight issue) & re foot injury (no gym).

ANY OTHER IDEAS??

[gatorsmom]

So, I guess I'd go to the principal and say, "I am concerned that dd's health and safety are in jeopardy at your school. Her current teacher is withholding her lunch and not following my instructions, which are backed by a doctor's note, regarding exercise. How can we solve these problems immediately?"



:yeahthat: I know you dont' want to pull out your lawyer hat, but I dont' think it would hurt if you phrased this in a way that subtlely let him know this could create a liability for them. Maybe just throw some legal jargon out there in a nice, conversational way to let him know this is a problem that could have serious legal consequences for the school.

[ellies mom]

Wow. That is craziness.

PE- I would go over her head on this one. Period. This isn't rocket science (not to you, to her). The doctor didn't say "Have the teacher use her best judgement". He said "Don't do it". Period. There is no grey area. The principle or whoever is above him needs to put a stop to that. Now. And if the teacher can't understand the concept, then they need to find another activity for your child to do during that period.

Lunch- If I could get my child to eat your lunch, I'd be jumping for joy. Most of last year, I had all I could do to get her to eat something other than goldfish crackers. That said, I'd probably avoid the issue on this one by separating out her lunch food from her "snack" food. I'd put her lunch in a lunch box and the snacks in another bag. Then the teacher is just seeing the actual lunch and not getting distracted (and her panties in a wad) by the snack food. Although, when it comes right down to it, once again this really is a situation where the principle needs to rein her in. But since he seems to be unwilling to do his job, then I would just separate the food as a stop-gap attempt to eliminate the issue.

[KpbS]

Argh!! I am frustrated for you! At this point, when the admin does call you back, I would as calmly as possible ask for a teacher switch and give the reasons--specifically telling her/him these are medical issues and they are non-negotiable.

[MontrealMum]

I am so sorry - that is nuts! :hug:

I was listening to the CBC the other day in the car and there was a piece on changing rules regarding students' lunches and how frustrated and ticked off parents are. I sort of missed the beginning and end of it so I don't know if it was here in QC, or a Canada-wide issue. The lunch thing is not something that I'm very familiar with because DS isn't in formal school yet, and when he does go his school has their own lunch program. But the story seemed to say that there are two really big issues facing parents these days: the litterless lunch (what you're describing) and "healthy" lunches. And apparently it's very spotty what's healthy or not, with teachers just randomly patrolling the kids' lunches w/o much training or anything, and sometimes even throwing out some pretty healthy stuff because they're clueless themselves about nutrition. Which totally sounds like what you're dealing with.

I know the work to rule action makes it difficult, but I would take it up with the principal. Also, I think if they're going to be policing lunches they should provide a standardized list of what is and is not acceptable. And a justification of what's on that list. Those options you're packing sound pretty healthy to me, especially considering that many granola bars and snack items in Canada don't have HFCS or trans-fats. I'm wondering if the teacher is all that educated about that sort of thing or even bothers to read the label.

[brittone2]

I would go over her head. The running thing is absolutely unsafe and they are looking at a liability issue if they aren't following a physician's directive (as I'm sure you know!). I had a stress fracture from running in high school that turned into a full blown fracture of my fibula. I was permitted to walk without crutches, etc. but was not allowed to take gym. I even pushed my physician by joking w/ him that we were *juggling* in gym class. I was absolutely not allowed to participate. The teacher should not be making judgment calls about a medical issue far outside the scope of her knowledge.

[todzwife]

I'm frustrated FOR you! When did it become the teacher's place to dictate what your child can/can not eat and disobey a DOCTOR's order? Good grief, she needs to be put in her place!

[curiousgeorge]

I think you've gotten really good advice. My kids aren't in school yet, so I haven't had to deal with anything like this, but dread the day I do.

You are handling it WAY better than I would because I think I would have already been kicked off of the school campus for refusing to leave without talking to the principal right then and there. And probably calling him and the teacher a few choice names in the process.

Just wanted to say I'm sorry you are having to deal with this.

[bubbaray]

Just got off the phone with a coworker who has older children in our district. She says the teachers are not allowed to do this. She suggested asking the principal to deal with it anonymously so teacher d/n take it out on DD#1.

Also just spoke with DH. He wants me to send an entire lunch of Twinkies & Ding Dongs. I'm sooo tempted.

[cuca_]

I just read your update. It sounds like she has very poor judgement. I can not believe that she has such a callous attitude about your daughter's condition/injury. How can she really think she can modify a doctor's order? Unbelievable!

[div_0305]

Just got off the phone with a coworker who has older children in our district. She says the teachers are not allowed to do this. She suggested asking the principal to deal with it anonymously so teacher d/n take it out on DD#1.

Also just spoke with DH. He wants me to send an entire lunch of Twinkies & Ding Dongs. I'm sooo tempted.


Great idea from DH! Just imagining doing this seems like it would be cathartic! I agree, these nutty policies should be in writing if that's the case. The principal needs to do his/her job--anonymous is best since this teacher does not seem professional or rational.

[Tracey]

I'd be super ticked off also. WTH is wrong with this teacher? It's time to go over her head to the principal. I'd request a meeting with everyone present: the principal, the teacher, and any PE coach (if there is one). I would restate my concerns and how they have been expressed on multiple occasions, but not addressed. I'd have a file with copies of the medical documentation and then ask why the school cannot comply with a student's documented medical necessities.

If you still don't recieve any satisfaction, I'd go to whomever the administrator is over your principals.

Keep us updated and don't be afraid to be your super assertive self. At this point, the teacher has it coming.

[maestramommy]

Just seeing this post now and your update. YEEEEEIKES!!!!!!!! I really have a hard time understanding what could be so objectionable about the lunch. And to not let a student eat is just unpardonable.

Really hope you get a meeting with the principal soon. :hug:

[bubbaray]

Bumping for another update.

HELP ME BE NICE!

[JTsMom]

Who the hell does this teacher think she is?! This is insanity. I can't believe how we'll you're handling this. I would have flipped out by this point.

[maestramommy]

How about:

DD has medical issues due to food allergens and with respect to lack of weight gain. She is on a Doctor approved diet. Please refrain from making any comments about her food choice unless they are positive, as she is very sensitive to this topic. She MUST eat, period.

[sste]

I think you worded it very nicely. You could make it more specific by saying, "DD has a doctor-approved and -required diet for medical reasons, including life-threatening allergies and failure to gain weight for the past two years. Because of these health issues, DD must have the opportunity to eat her full packed or school lunch without changes made or parts of her lunch discarded. We would appreciate it if the school staff avoids negative comments (or makes only positive comments) about her food as DD is very sensitive about this. Thank you for your help, Mademoiselle Lunatic, and we look forward to working with you this year!"

I am glad you talked to the principal, that was a good idea . . . this teacher, yikes, it sounds like trying to reason with a terrorist.

You have shown admirable restraint in the face of extreme provocation, bubbaray. Seriously well-done. :) I would have gone full out mental and regretted it later.

[bubbaray]

DD has medical issues due to food allergens and lack of weight gain. She is on a Doctor approved diet. Please refrain from making any comments about her lunch unless they are positive, as she is very sensitive to this topic. She needs to eat her lunch every day in order to gain weight.


THANK YOU. :thumbsup:

Should I say "pls refrain from making any comments..." or "pls only make positive comments about her lunch..." Thoughts??

[crl]

Well, I'm glad the principal at least is addressing the foot injury.

For the note to the teacher, yours seems pretty okay, but maybe something like this:

"DD is under a doctor's care due to food allergies and medically significant lack of weight gain. I pack her healthy lunches and snacks per her doctor's orders. It is very important that she eat her lunches and her snacks. She is very sensitive to negative comments of any kind about her lunches and snacks and has been not eating at school recently. I would appreciate your help in making sure no negative comments are made to or around dd about her food. If you have any questions or concerns about her food, I would be happy to discuss it with you when dd is not present."

Catherine

[bubbaray]

I think you worded it very nicely. You could make it more specific by saying, "DD has a doctor-approved and -required diet for medical reasons, including life-threatening allergies and failure to gain weight for the past two years. Because of these health issues, DD must have the opportunity to eat her full packed or school lunch without changes made or parts of her lunch discarded. We would appreciate it if the school staff avoids negative comments (or makes only positive comments) about her food as DD is very sensitive about this. Thank you for your help, Mademoiselle Lunatic, and we look forward to working with you this year!"

I am glad you talked to the principal, that was a good idea . . . this teacher, yikes, it sounds like trying to reason with a terrorist.

You have shown admirable restraint in the face of extreme provocation, bubbaray. Seriously well-done. :) I would have gone full out mental and regretted it later.


Thanks. I'm feeling like helicopter mom today. Sigh.

I like your wording, but its too long for the agenda. Unless I do a separate letter, which I'm considering -- but she might not read. Dunno which to do.

FWIW, I had to write TWO notes on two consecutive days to get her to give DD#1 her kleenex box (which I sent on the first day with her school supplies). But, she did give it to her yesterday. Baby steps.

[bubbaray]

"DD is under a doctor's care due to food allergies and medically significant lack of weight gain. I pack her healthy lunches and snacks per her doctor's orders. It is very important that she eat her lunches and her snacks. She is very sensitive to negative comments of any kind about her lunches and snacks and has been not eating at school recently. I would appreciate your help in making sure no negative comments are made to or around dd about her food. If you have any questions or concerns about her food, I would be happy to discuss it with you when dd is not present."




Me likey.

Hmmm, I need to ponder this. I think a separate letter (transported in the appropriate pocket in the agenda) might be better: 1) I can keep a copy; and 2) DD#1 won't be able to read it.

Hmmm.

[crl]

Me likey.

Hmmm, I need to ponder this. I think a separate letter (transported in the appropriate pocket in the agenda) might be better: 1) I can keep a copy; and 2) DD#1 won't be able to read it.

Hmmm.

I think that's a good idea. I like paper trails.

Catherine

[JustMe]

Wow. Well, I'm glad at least the gym part is solved.

As far as the food part, I think the teacher (and principal's!) repsonse is just terrible, but I think I would handle it by appealing to your dd's doctor's office to write a note..and make sure to include the part about not making negative comments about her food. I actually think your note is fine...at this point, I would not worry about stating things perfectly...but who can argue with a doctor;s note.

[♥ms.pacman♥]

haven't read through the whole thread, but i just think it is INSANE for a teacher to ever make negative comments about a kid's lunch, period. I have never ever heard anything like this. My DC don't have food allergies or but still, if a teacher EVER made comments about my kids lunch and discouraged or prevented him/her from eating it just because she "didn't approve", i would be beyond LIVID... that is SO not in the teachers' place to do, and is messed up on so many levels. it honestly sounds like this teacher just gets off on a power trip or whatever, given the other thing ignoring the doc's note about the foot injury (WTF!!)

am so sorry you have to deal with this. i am enraged for you!! hope it's resolved ASAP. this is just nuts.

[AnnieW625]

Me likey.

Hmmm, I need to ponder this. I think a separate letter (transported in the appropriate pocket in the agenda) might be better: 1) I can keep a copy; and 2) DD#1 won't be able to read it.

Hmmm.

I like that response too. I think maybe if you could provide a written letter from the dr. too that might help but for next week I would send a note.

I honestly can't believe they can tell kids not to each the packed lunch their parents sent.

[niccig]

What is wrong with the lunch that you send in? I read what you put in it, and it seems fine to me. I'm not understanding the teacher's problem???

Today's lunch (typical):
entree: sandwich (whole wheat nut-free bread, olive oil mayo, cheddar cheese & "natural" deli turkey)
snacks: fresh grapes & cherries (total about 1 c), unsweetened applesauce cup, nut-free granola bar, nut-free cookie, whole-grain Nutrigrain bar, homemade snack mix (hot air popcorn, Cheerios, Goldfish, Chex, nut-free pretzels).
Drink: always water

Sandwich is fine, there's fruit. The snack mix is fine. Is it the granola bars and the cookie?

[bubbaray]

What is wrong with the lunch that you send in? I read what you put in it, and it seems fine to me. I'm not understanding the teacher's problem???


That makes 2 of us. No idea.

[niccig]

That makes 2 of us. No idea.

Can you ask what the problem is? Why does the teacher not like the lunch?

DS's school is same with healthy lunch and recyclables.

I could pack what you included, and often I do, and no one would say peep. I don't put a cookie in every day, but I do on occasion, and the teachers do say that they will not let the kids eat those until after eaten other food.

I should ask DS if anything gets said about us lunch.

[crl]

As far as teachers commenting on food from home, I know some of ds' have. I think it is inappropriate and ridiculous. But ds would come home and tell me Mrs. L says not to bring chips. Well, too bad, I pack pita chips and hummus and that's healthy and I just kept doing it. And I heard about some other kids' food in ways that made me sure ds was repeating negative comments from his teacher about lunchables or twinkies or whatever.

So I am not all that surprised. Nor am I all that surprised that such comments could be off base as far as nutrition goes. But, again, I think it is wrong.

Catherine

[Melanie]

WOW. 20%?! I know people who had to take that big of a CUT in the last few years. ITA, that is a bit ridiculous. Hopefully they can find something to agree upon between the 0 and 20.

I am glad the principal has at least heard you and is making some efforts.

[Melanie]

According to other mom I spoke with this morning, teacher "patrols" the lunches. Walks around the room and inspects what everyone has brought. Points out what is not healthy, etc. DD#1 told me she wasn't "allowed" to eat x, y, z. I'm not sure how it is being conveyed, but given the frosty communication between the teacher and me, I don't doubt that it comes across to at least some of the students as "you can't eat a granola bar at school".

Fun stuff, they are starting a nutrition unit next week. Letter home from teacher said (and this is a direct quote) "We will soon start a nutrition unit, so the children can help you make good choices!" WTF? Seriously. WTF do I say to that except "Thanks. I've decided to send Skittles. Have a nice day!"


I actually like that they are going to help the kids learn this, but your Dd's lunch doesn't seem so out of line, to me. You aren't sending twinkies. At Dc' school in kindergarten they used to help them arrange their lunch with the 'growing food' in the front. Some things were asked to be put back as they are not a 'school food,' like muffins, cupcakes, cookies, candy. That was it. It sounds very judgemental and shaming the way you are describing. How can that be good for ANY child?!

ETA: I think if you were sending something she found objectionable, I like that she cares that much about her class, but she needs to talk to you privately and not make the children feel badly. I personally can't stand seeing the kids eat junk at school then misbehave all over the place b/c their bodies can't handle it. Frankly, it infringes upon MY child's right to a good learning environment. Can you tell this is a hot button for me? HOWEVER, I do not EVER EVER think anyone should handle it the way your Dd's teacher is! That is horrible. ...and FWIW, I still don't think her lunch was all that objectionable...perhaps it was the nutra-grain bar? I've not had any lately but I know they used to have transfats? You know, it would be so much more helpful if she talked to you so you know what she was thinking instead of playing this guessing game filtered through a child who is upset.

[bubbaray]

WOW. 20%?! I know people who had to take that big of a CUT in the last few years. ITA, that is a bit ridiculous. Hopefully they can find something to agree upon between the 0 and 20.




IMO, (and I've done collective bargaining in the past), there is zero chance of the teachers getting anything other than 0%. There is nothing in between 0 and 20 b/c then all the other public sector unions (most of whom have settled for 0% and 2y contracts) will want what the teachers get or more. Politically, that ain't happening.

The 20% is based upon the differential between BC teachers and those elsewhere. Well, if you don't like it, go elsewhere. We have TONS of new grads who are unemployed and will never get hired in BC (regardless of wages) b/c everyone wants to work here.

[Melanie]

. Thank you for your help, Mademoiselle Lunatic, and we look forward to working with you this year!"



:hysterical:

[bubbaray]

and FWIW, I still don't think her lunch was all that objectionable...perhaps it was the nutra-grain bar? I've not had any lately but I know they used to have transfats? You know, it would be so much more helpful if she talked to you so you know what she was thinking instead of playing this guessing game filtered through a child who is upset.


Nope, zero transfats in the ones up here (ditto for the granola bar and the cookie). Sugar, yes -- 13g sugar in the Nutrigrain, 5g in the granola bar and 15g in the cookie. Not great, but not horrible.

[zag95]

I think you worded it very nicely. You could make it more specific by saying, "DD has a doctor-approved and -required diet for medical reasons, including life-threatening allergies and failure to gain weight for the past two years. Because of these health issues, DD must have the opportunity to eat her full packed or school lunch without changes made or parts of her lunch discarded. We would appreciate it if the school staff avoids negative comments (or makes only positive comments) about her food as DD is very sensitive about this. Thank you for your help, Mademoiselle Lunatic, and we look forward to working with you this year!"
.


OMG the Mademoiselle Lunatic part put me over the edge!!!!:hysterical:

[zag95]

Melissa-
I don't know how you do it putting up with all this crap from Mademoseille..... I didn't get the vibe that the principal wanted to really address some of the issues that you brought forward.

Is there a school board or someone higher than the principal?

I'd definitely get the letter from your doctor's office- regarding activity and eating/nutritional needs for your DD.

I'd also see if there could be a meeting once the strike is resolved, with the principal, teacher, you and DH......

Has your DH dealt with this teacher much? Maybe sic him on her and see if he gets the same quality treatment that you receive. I'd also document those who observed this teacher's hostility toward you.....as I'm sure it's trickling down :(

GL

[bubbaray]

bumping for another update.

[JustMe]

Wow, really, to the inspection of the lunch thing. I just don't know what to say to that..and I agree that the lunch you are sending sounds pretty healthy to me. Hmmn, I am kind of speechless. So, is this allowed or not allowed by the district? can the teachers lunches be inspected (time to get a little snarky). And I am one who strongly believes kids should eat healthy food, but this is over the top.

[dcmom2b3]

I can't think of a better way to sow the seeds of an eating disorder than to regularly, publicly, criticize a child's food, especially food choices that are objectively reasonably healthy. I'm stuck on that thought and can't get beyond it.

Melissa, I'm late to this thread, and we both know that I'm not the person to call when you need advice on how to be concilatory. But this thought leaps to mind, and I couldn't help but share it.

Love to you and DD#1. I hope that this works out . . . :hug:

[AnnieW625]

Wow, about the nap issue in kindergarten. My DD1 is in a full day kinder class (this is the 2nd year they've done it this way) and honestly if the teacher had more space I think she would be totally fine with having the kinder kids nap. Having a nap at full day kinder wouldn't bother me at all.

Not sure I'd agree with a movie everyday, but once in a while it might be kind of fun esp. on a rainy day.

[bubbaray]

I'm not the person to call when you need advice on how to be concilatory.


Thanks everyone!

M-H, you would laugh. I got the lecture at the dance studio this morning from another mom (after I told her about this). She said I needed to stand up for myself, blah blah. Totally well-intentioned (and she knows what I do), but I just thought it was funny to tell *me* that I had to stand up for myself and my DD. Interestingly, she said that she's had to confront teachers MANY times over the years (her kids are at a different school, but it is in our area) and has gone to the superintendent on issues. She confronts the school on everything, including marks. Makes the teachers "accountable" (her words).

So, maybe I don't need to worry about diplomacy. LOL

[crl]

I have had people be totally shocked that I'm not more confrontational at school. (Used to be a lawyer, not afraid of confrontation at all). Well, I'm the one who has to deal with school all the time. In our family if we need a bad cop, it's dh. (Of course he's the big bad litigator so he has no problem doing it if necessary.)

I do think most school teachers and administrators are very used to parents challenging them over things. I imagine it is one of the least pleasant parts of their jobs. But when they are so completely screwing it up, they do deserve it.

Usually what holds me back is thinking about what will be the most productive in the long run. In some circumstances though I think making it clear that you won't back down on serious issues can be really productive in the long run. It is just so hard to know in advance.

Catherine

[nfowife]

Regarding naps, last year in K our school did have a nap/rest period. The majority of the first half year the kids all fell asleep. It's a long day. I think it's developmentally appropriate for a short rest period after lunch.

[traciann]

Regarding naps, last year in K our school did have a nap/rest period. The majority of the first half year the kids all fell asleep. It's a long day. I think it's developmentally appropriate for a short rest period after lunch.

I agree. Its a long day, especially in the beginning. DD went to two schools last year for kinder. The first one for 2 weeks and they did not nap. The second school did nap but it was only the first or second six weeks.

[bubbaray]

bumping for another update....

[niccig]

They made her do the run despite a Dr.'s note!!!

The teacher thinks she knows better than a Dr. about your DD's injury???

Time to put on the lawyer's hat. Call for a meeting between principal and teacher.

My mother was very confrontational at our schools. Sometimes it embarrassed me, but for the most part it was justified. You've tried the "honey" route, now go for the "do you want me to sue you and the school for additional medical costs you have caused" route....

I would fight the activity battle FIRST.

Get a group of other parents to also complain about the lunch inspections - I think you'll need numbers to win that one.

[kijip]

They made her do the run despite a Dr.'s note!!!

The teacher thinks she knows better than a Dr. about your DD's injury???

Time to put on the lawyer's hat. Call for a meeting between principal and teacher.

My mother was very confrontational at our schools. Sometimes it embarrassed me, but for the most part it was justified. You've tried the "honey" route, now go for the "do you want me to sue you" route....
:yeahthat:

Time to get up in their faces about this. This is ridiculous.

[niccig]

Just make sure before you go in guns blazing that DD didn't want to do the run. I could see a situation where she said she wanted to do it and the teacher let her - they teacher should not have, but it would help to know before you go in, so you can choose your words accordingly. Rather than "you made her do the run", "you allowed her to do the run" IYKWIM

[JTsMom]

I can't think of a better way to sow the seeds of an eating disorder than to regularly, publicly, criticize a child's food, especially food choices that are objectively reasonably healthy. I'm stuck on that thought and can't get beyond it.

This is exactly what I was thinking, especially coupled with the "exercise at all costs" mindset. Time to unleash the dogs on her Melissa.

[maestramommy]

Man, this situation sounds weirder every time I read an update!:p Well at least you know you're not alone in this. Hopefully the collective energy of parents will be enough to get the admin to do something about it. I just can't get over the whole inspection of lunches thing. Usually if there's a problem the teacher emails home a blurb in their teacher notes. who as time and energy to police lunches?? And not letting the kids eat is just bizzare.

[Melbel]

Wow. Just wow. I am late to this thread and just read through all of the posts. I think you have handled the situation well up to this point, even though you have not obtained the results you want yet. Even though I am a lawyer, I do not routinely go in with cannons. I work very hard to choose my battles wisely to hopefully be taken more seriously on the big issues. I agree that this is a big issue and it is time to bring out the big guns. Some thoughts -

Can you obtain updated notes from your DD1's doctors, preferably detailing that the school's current approach is risking permanent, serious injury to her foot and a failure to thrive? Specifically, on the nutrition front, it would be great if her doctor could approve your DD1's lunch choices. In the spirit of compromise, perhaps you could save the cookie for home (not that you should have to).

Request a meeting with teacher and principle to discuss serious health issues in writing, documenting everything thus far and hopefully attaching new doctor notes. I would cc the superintendent or whoever is above principal.

If at all possible, have your DH attend the meeting. IMO, the schools take issues more seriously when dad takes time off of work too (not right, just a reality).

If you are not satisfied post meeting, be prepared to take the issue up to the next level.

Good luck and :grouphug:. I am pissed for you.

[trales]

I don't have any advice that was not given, but I wanted to offer my support as you deal with this. WOW. I would be pulling my hair out and screaming on the streets by now.

[crl]

Here you can record certain meetings as long as you tell everyone you are doing it. I would certainly be documenting things in some way.

I am so sorry. Since changing schools is not possible, I really hope you can get this sorted out before this teacher causes permanent physical or mental damage.

Catherine

[ThreeofUs]

Ok, Melissa, I've been lurking on your thread. And it's because I am THAT mom when it comes to dealing with teacher issues. I do it as nicely as possible, but I set my limit and define the steps I will be (sadly, unfortunately, reluctantly) forced to take if those limits are broken.

You've done the right things. You've involved the administration. You've talked to other parents. Even more, you've *tried* above and beyond the call of duty to go through channels and act reasonably.

At this point, I think you're justified at going on the warpath, with an army of parents behind you.

This is injustice and stupidity, which must be confronted and defeated for the good of your daughter and the other children.

[JustMe]

Ok, Melissa, I've been lurking on your thread. And it's because I am THAT mom when it comes to dealing with teacher issues. I do it as nicely as possible, but I set my limit and define the steps I will be (sadly, unfortunately, reluctantly) forced to take if those limits are broken.

.

I am so furious for you and your dd! I agree with the above. I have never done this, but when another parent who was having the same issue as I was did this, they started listening to her very quickly (she said she would do to the superintendent if the issue wasn't addressed)...and I would still get a doctor's note or better yet have the doctor's office contact the principal.

[sste]

Just so I am understanding -- and it is BAD no matter what - - but did the teacher have your DD run AFTER you spoke with her at drop-off?

If so that is flagrant misconduct imo and I agree escalation is very justified. If it was before you spoke with her than hopefully it was the timing and it won't happen again. I would be tempted to send my DD into school with a colored ace bandage prominently displayed over her leggings!!! Just a visual reminder so to speak.

The only semi-positive thing is that this in the foxhole with the lunatic madam/oiselle seems to be a bonding experience between the parents and may result in alot of new friendly contacts for you. Not that I wish it hadn't happened under better circumstances though!!

[hbridge]

I just read this thread and am APALLED! Your child was made to participate in gym with an injury!?!?!?!? That's actually cruel and could cause permanent damage!

As for the lunch issue, that' ridiculous! It's hard enough to pack lunches that the kids will eat without them being told they can't eat part of it! DC wouldn't even take her lunchbox out if she was concerned about being told she couldn't eat it. That's just wrong. Children need to eat healthy, yes, but they need to EAT period! It's the parents decision as to what to pack for lunches! The school has no way to know what the child eats at other times in the day!

Personally, I think part of this issue goes to Mrs. Obama's new healthy eating initiative. I know in our school system one of the school nurses has made comments as to childrens lunches. One comment was made to a child with a higher BMI about making healthy choices; he was buying school lunch and the only choice was chocolate milk...

Go on the warpath! Your child's health depends on it...

[chozen]

what does your daughter tell them when they ask her to run? this just all sounds so strange to me.

[cuca_]

This is unbelievable. In think you need to request a meeting with the principal and the teacher. Obviously your Notes to the teacher and your doctors instructions are being disregarded. It is definitely time to put your lawyer hat on. Good luck!

[HIU8]

I think it's time to put on your lawyer hat as well. This whole situation just sounds like it's getting completely out of control.

[scrooks]

I'm with everyone else. I am shocked that the teacher had you DD run after you discussed it at drop off. I would think forcing a child to participate in activity they physically shouldn't be is a HUGE liability for the school...but that is besides the point. I would be furious if my DD had a teacher that would so deliberately defy an important MEDICALLY related request I had made!

[rlu]

Is there any way you can stay the day at school? We have the right to visit the classrooms at our school - it's in the school handbook. I think first-hand observation is going to boost your argument - and if it turns out your dd is asking to do PE, you'll be on hand to reminder her not to.

eta: I don't mean everyday, but maybe a few select days through-out the week (i.e. the PE days)?

[JBaxter]

SO waiting for todays update. Do you have an attorney?

[sewarsh]

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[elizabethkott]

Ohhhhhhhhhhhh-kay.
The teacher had your daughter do the run, *after* you spoke with her? *After* the principal was informed of the situation? *AFTER* the PRINCIPAL said s/he would find another activity for your DD to do instead of PE?
Oh, HE!! no!!!!!
You have done your part regarding going through the proper channels. As a teacher myself, I can assure you of that.
It is time to go to the superintendent (or at least threaten to do so). In your next communication with the principal, which is where you should be dealing at this point - forget the teacher, since she obviously pays not attention to anything you discuss with her- cite specific conversations, including DATES of the conversations. ("On Tuesday, September 13th, you assured me that my daughter was not going to participate in PE, and that you were going to assign her an alternate activity. However on Friday, September 16th, three days after our conversation, my child was made to run the mile. How do you explain my daughter's participation in PE, after we had this conversation?")
Cite specific dates of ALL interaction (could be in the simple form of a log - 9/12: had conversation with principal; finding an alternate activity for DD durin PE was discussed) with teacher, principal, TA's, etc.
Be your child's advocate. There is nothing wrong with that.

[Melanie]

I'm baffled as to why teacher doesn't hold a parent meeting on nutrition if she thinks the kids aren't eating healthy and prefers to let hungry kids run around with low blood sugar?!

And ITA - take a witness for "support."

[mctlaw]

Melissa, I find all this completely baffling on your behalf!!! All I can say is, I would want to be neither the teacher nor the principal when dealing with you on the aftermath of this!

[bubbaray]

bumping for update.

[JustMe]

Gesh, I am so glad this has been handled and things are in place for the way your dd needs them to be but Gesh. I really don't get the having to stay in the classroom for lunch and recess thing. Maybe it doesnt matter now that this is over for you, but what was the intention. To prove their point? Because they feel if she can't do gym, she shouldn;t do recess? I am not trying to be dense, I just really dont get where they were coming from with that.

[mum-to-be]

Gesh, I am so glad this has been handled and things are in place for the way your dd needs them to be but Gesh. I really don't get the having to stay in the classroom for lunch and recess thing. Maybe it doesnt matter now that this is over for you, but what was the intention. To prove their point? Because they feel if she can't do gym, she shouldn;t do recess? I am not trying to be dense, I just really dont get where they were coming from with that.

No, I don't get it either. I just read your first post with all the updates, so maybe I missed something. Isn't the teacher criticizing her lunch? Weird!

I'm sorry this has happened to your DD, and I am so not looking forward to K now. I'm glad you have resolutions, but it still seems like this teacher is a loose cannon. I hope it is not a tough year for your DD. I'd be getting her moved out of the class ASAP.

[crl]

Ding dongs would be perfect. I am glad it looks like things are resolved!

Catherine

[bubbaray]

Gesh, I am so glad this has been handled and things are in place for the way your dd needs them to be but Gesh. I really don't get the having to stay in the classroom for lunch and recess thing. Maybe it doesnt matter now that this is over for you, but what was the intention. To prove their point? Because they feel if she can't do gym, she shouldn;t do recess? I am not trying to be dense, I just really dont get where they were coming from with that.


My guess is that this stems from the strike issue. There isn't the same level of supervision and they clued in that they are totally liable if they don't follow a dr's note and DD#1 gets further injured.

[niccig]

I'm glad DH stepped up when you were busy, so this didn't go on for longer.
I wonder what he said to them "shape up or I'll sic. my lawyer wife onto you, and trust me, you do NOT want that!"

I bet the principal opened her email this morning and there was email after email from parents complaining about the "lunch inspection". Since Friday when it was just you and easier to blow you off, it has now become a bigger problem and it's easier to tell the teacher to back off.

I know you'll keep an eye on things going forward. This teacher has really riled up a lot of parents - not a good start to the school year.

[m448]

I've been following but hesitant to post my very visceral initial reactions. First :bighand: to you and DH. Truly never be afraid to become THAT parent. THAT parent makes adults in their children's lives stick to their word and do their jobs. THAT parent shows their kids that there's a level of respect owed to every human being. THAT parent may be talked about by admins and teachers but at least very few of them mess with THAT parent or the THAT parent's child.

Lastly for the crazy teacher - feed her more rope. Soon she'll have enough to do herself in. I had a crazy teacher in 7th grade. She proceeded to fail 3/4 of a gifted class of students in 1 semester. Mind you with no good reason. My normally very laid back immigrant parents that allowed me to take care of things since elementary school joined forces with a passel full of THOSE parents and next semester crazy teacher was g.o.n.e.

[maestramommy]

At this point I would be seriously pondering whether the school is really worth it. What a load of BS.

[Melanie]

It's a little insulting how quickly things get resolved at school when the dads jump in - isn't it? However, sometimes you have to do what you have to do. ;)

[StantonHyde]

Melissa:

I am so late to this post-it has been crazy here. But not as crazy as that teacher. Good gadfries what a whacko!! Honestly the inspecting the lunches thing and not letting them eat is what drove me over.the.edge.

That woman would die if she saw that I put cookies in my kids' lunches every day. Seriously, find the most over processed disgusting thing there is and give it to her for Christmas!!! (I think those "snowballs"--sponge cakes covered with fake coconut--have an ingredient list that is as long as the back of the package)

Whacko, whacko, whacko.

[zag95]

Maybe all the kids in the classroom could put together an emergency junk food kit (all the goodies, snowballs, ding dongs- and my personal favorite- the SPUD candy bar (from Idaho!!)) if it is from the whole class/parents to the teacher, maybe she'll get the message..... and not just from one kiddo!

[AnnieW625]

Thanks for the updates. If it were me I'd be looking at other schools, but I know that's not an option. Good luck and keep us updated:). Love the emergency junk food kit:hysterical:

[bubbaray]

bumping for update. :)

[dcmom2b3]

Yay!!!! Now that's good news, all around!! :cheerleader1:

[larig]

You must be proud that she asked to help when she got to the library. What a sweetheart you've got there! Glad she is happy about the resolution. Way to go advocating for her!!!

[gatorsmom]

Thank you for all the timely updates! I've been reading and keeping my fingers crossed for you that you get this mess sorted out. Mme Lunatic sounds like a tough nut to crack.

That's cool about your DD prefering the french book! :boogie: