No, I don’t want to leave a 2 year old in the house alone.

[kara97210]

My neighbor is having an open house/block party. The street is small (only runs a couple of blocks) and the party is from 1-5 this afternoon. It started at 1:00 which is when my 2 year old usually starts his nap. DS fell asleep around 12:45 after a tough morning (just getting over a cold).

So 1:00 rolls around and my husband says - “let’s go and leave DS” and I think he’s kidding. We basically argue for 30 minutes about the safety of leaving a 2 year old in the house alone. His argument is that we can come back every 10-15 minutes and check on him and he’ll probably sleep for an hour or longer anyway. I said, no way, no how am I leaving a 2 ½ year old alone in the house. DH is at the party now with DD and my mom who is visiting (that's another issue for the BP) and I’m still annoyed.

Am I crazy?

[ThreeofUs]

No way no how. You are not crazy. That's a recipe for disaster.

Good for you for standing your ground!

[nrp]

You're definitely not crazy. But, *IF* my monitor reached as far as the block party (which mine would not as it doesn't reach even to the street from my house) I might do it; otherwise definitely not. I have left a child sleeping inside when I'm doing something in the backyard, with the monitor on.

ETA: I was assuming your DS was still in a crib (and can't climb out), which he may well not be at 2.5. I also am thinking about our block parties, which are outside in the street/yards so I am envisioning a situation where I would have a view of my house during the party. So, I guess my only way I'd be comfortable is if (1) DS was contained in a crib and sleeping; (2) monitor was functional; and (3) I had a view of my house. And even then, I wouldn't think it would be strange or overprotective for that to be outside someone's comfort level.

[niccig]

I have left a child sleeping inside when I'm doing something in the backyard, with the monitor on.

This I have done..go down a couple of houses to a party - heck no. And DH's ears would be burning for even suggesting it seriously.

I would send DH along with DD and MIL, and tell him to come back in a couple of hours to swap, or wait until DS wakes up and go then.

[weech]

We've hung out outside with neighbors or a couple houses down (we're in townhouses) as long as the monitor works. :shrug:

[Snow mom]

I guess the monitor and whether your DS is still in a crib would matter to me. I've also gone out front with DD asleep, but DD is still in a crib and hasn't yet figured out how to get out. If she got out of her crib all bets would be off. She can open doors, most "child-proof" things around the house, climbs well, etc. I can only imagine the trouble she could get into in 10 minutes left alone (not to mention how distraught she would be if she woke and no-one came immediately.)

I think you did the right thing in sending your DH. In my house there would be no need for everyone to wait for the end of nap so we would just negotiate who wanted to go more.

[KrisM]

I'd go if it was next door and the monitor was on, or I could hear him from an open window easily. I would not go if it was further away than next door.

I left the kids in by themselves sleeping all the time once I had older kids. We'd go in the yard to play or to ride bikes, etc.

[justlearning]

I don't think you're crazy at all. I currently have an 8-year-old and a 5-year-old and have never left them at home alone except for a 7-minute period to take DS2 to school while DS1 was home sick and sleeping (and that's when DS1 was 7 years old).

I would never forgive myself if I left a 2-year-old alone and something happened to him-fire, intruder, getting head caught in crib rails, whatever. Even if you can take a monitor with you, it'd be hard to truly monitor it at a party IMO.

Out of curiosity, is there a reason why your mom wanted to go to your neighbor's party instead of staying home with her grandson so you could go? (Maybe that's the issue that you said could be another BP.)

[kara97210]

Thanks for the responses, he was napping in our bed and I was worried that he would wake up, walk out of the room and be scared that he was alone. We have a lot of stairs from the street up to our house and the moniter doesn't work out on the street so we wouldn't have known he was awake until we came to check on him. I usually don't consider myself paranoid - I take the garbage out, etc and leave the kids sleeping inside alone - and I'm not really why this just struck me today.

I think more than anything it was DH arguing it, rather than just saying we would wait, or that he and DD would go over early and I could wake over with DS later (which is what ended up happening around 2:00). Thanks for listening.:)

[amldaley]

Do we live in the same neighborhood?????????

Last NYE, neighbor across the street was almost offended I would not come over to his party and leave my 2.5 yo sleeping alone in the house.

[Uno-Mom]

If the monitor didn't go that far - NEVER!!! Wouldn't that qualify as child neglect?

I'm so not saying your DH is a neglectful parent, we all have those moments when we're about to do something dumb and our partner catches us - thankfully! But this reminds me of those publicized cases where a parent left a toddler in their carseat while they ran the shopping cart to the store, like 25 feet away... or walked the videos over to the redbox all within eyesight of the car... and CPS was called and charges filed.

Other scenarios: we live on a cul-de-sac and if we had a bbq with those neighbors right in front of our houses, I would sit outside and take the monitor with. But our monitor reaches that far and sitting on the sidewalk would have us just as close to as being in the backyard-our lot is shallow.

[♥ms.pacman♥]

i totally would never consider it if i could not use a monitor...having to come back and check every few minutes, and then worrying all the time if the kid has woken up...that sort of defeats the purpose IMO, might as well skip the party altogether! Maaaybe for an infant in a crib that i knew would likely sleep another hour, but for a 2 year old (old enough to be scared by being alone, and to be able to walk around and do stuff)..DEFINITELY not.. especially if he was not confined in a crib!! That's like ASKING for trouble!!!

at our next door neighbor's pool party few weeks ago, we were going to leave our DD (6mo and not mobile) napping in her crib and just bring the monitor (neighbor's backyard is literally less than a 20 feet from DD's window). she ended up waking just as we were about to leave, so we didn't do it. but i think the fact that she was still confined in a crib and we had a monitor made all the difference. there is no way i would leave her alone for more than a couple minutes (like to check mail, take out trash or something) if i couldn't hear her. and as for DS (20mo)), i don't think i've ever even gone outside by myself AT ALL unless he was napping in his crib! Too risky, my DS gets into things fast.

[kara97210]

Thanks everyone for the sanity check. DH admitted tonight that it would have been weird to go and 1. explain that DS was home alone and 2. have to leave every 10 minutes to walk back home and check, totally defeating the purpose of going to a party.

[bubbaray]

You are not crazy and this is totally something my DH would suggest/do.

[catsnkid]

My DH got reamed by me and my neighbors for leaving DS (sleeping) to come and get me 3 houses down. He does not get left unless we are in earshot or have a monitor.

[HonoluluMom]

No, you're not crazy.

I would never leave my DD (just turned 2) by herself in the house, even if she's contained in her crib sleeping and the monitor is on. If it's only me and DD, I don't even go out to get the mail, take out the trash, etc. I'm pretty paranoid - what if there's a fire, what if I lose my keys and get locked out, etc.

[longtallsally05]

You're not crazy at all. I must confess :bag I do leave 2.5 yo DS napping in the house (in his room, behind a closed baby gate) while I walk out to the bus stop to meet DD (kindergarteners are only released from bus stops if an adult is waiting for them), but only b/c the bus stop is four houses down, and I'm within visual and baby monitor range. I time it so I'm gone about 5 minutes, and I'm totally paranoid the entire time (please don't flame me). No way would I go to a party!

[Melanie]

OMG - your HUSBAND said this? I thought you were going to say it was the neighbor. Only one of you was crazy. And it's not you.

[MamaSnoo]

You're not crazy. Your DH is. You can tell him I said so.

[MamaSnoo]

You're not crazy at all. I must confess :bag I do leave 2.5 yo DS napping in the house (in his room, behind a closed baby gate) while I walk out to the bus stop to meet DD (kindergarteners are only released from bus stops if an adult is waiting for them), but only b/c the bus stop is four houses down, and I'm within visual and baby monitor range. I time it so I'm gone about 5 minutes, and I'm totally paranoid the entire time (please don't flame me). No way would I go to a party!

And while I think the OPs DH is nuts, I would not flame you for this. I would do exactly what you describe. There is a difference between walking out for a couple minutes with a monitor and going to party. I have also done a little light gardening while DD naps, but only with the monitor so I could go back in immediately if she woke up. IMO that is not really different from being downstairs if she is sleeping upstairs, I am listening on the monitor. So, if anyone flames you....they can flame too.