How do I tell my 4 YO and 2 YO their great-uncle died?

[gobadgers]

Oh boy. Heavy topic for a nice fall day. I just found out my uncle died. He lived 4 hours away, and we saw him (and some other family in the same town) about 4-5 times a year.

I am blindsided by this - both in terms of his death and how to approach the topic with the kids. DD has been asking about death recently. Any cliff notes advice would be really appreciated, or books/articles/references that I can read online or check out from the library. I feel very unprepared.

I don't think I will need to discuss with them right away, but if we don't talk about it, DD would definitely ask about him next time we visit(probably Thanksgiving). And DS (2 YO) is not ready for any of it. Right?

TIA.

[gatorsmom]

My twins were 3.5yo when my dad died. We spent a lot of time with him. I didn't say anything to them until they asked where he was. I told them he died and went to heaven. Then they asked where heaven is (I told them it was up in the sky sort of) and they asked if they can go. I told them they can go after they've lived a full life and it's their time. They said ok and went back to playing. They've asked a few times since then and if one asks where Grandpa is, the other always chimes in, "he's in heaven, remember?" and thats the end of it.

As my kids get older, I explain more and more of my beliefs to them (we are Catholic). My older 2 kids had a lot more questions for me and I answered them the best way I could. I made a point of saying "this is what I believe" and why I felt that way. They come back to me with more questions much more than our twins do, which is to be expected, I think.

I'm sorry for your loss.