Dear GF, please stop saying "I am in the best shape of my life"...

[kozachka]

...because I am not, far from it. I am working out but I am not capable of limiting my food intake as much as you do, and I will not work out with a personal trainer twice a week like you do. And while you are at it, please stop mentioning all the beauty treatments that you've undergone and designer clothes/shoes that you've bought (mostly on credit). I've been a good sport listening to you bable about all these things, but there only so many times I can hear you say that before I snap. We've been best friends for a while, and I'd hate for this to spoil things for us.

I realize that there are some things that I have (house, child, well paying professional job, boobs etc.) that you wish you had, but I never rub it in, and always say that these things are in your near future or that there is something negative associated with having them (e.g. being very busy at work and at home or having a big ass to compensate for having boobs) to make you feel better.

Vent over.

[lalasmama]

Oh, I totally feel you on this one!!!

I have a coworker who comments that if you don't have your mani/pedi, you don't have a Gucci watch, you don't shop at Nordy's, that you are a slob. And if you don't work out daily, you are a *fat* slob. Uuummm, yeah, thanks. I must be the grossed thing to man-kind then, since I don't work out, haven't been to Nordy's in years other than to use their mother's room, and well, the gym people loved me because they billed me monthly, and only saw me seasonally!

She's obviously insecure about herself, IMO!

[elektra]

Ok that would get really old, fast.
I think you might have to have a line that you will use in case you just can't take it anymore!
I think a "GF, if you say how awesome you are one more time, I just might have to smack you" would suffice, but I'm sure you can come up with something wittier.
I can totally picture a friend of mine saying this to me, as I tend to be the clueless blabber. (We are still good friends BTW. ;))

[Mamabear4]

I realize that there are some things that I have (house, child, well paying professional job, boobs etc.) that you wish you had, but I never rub it in, and always say that these things are in your near future or that there is something negative associated with having them (e.g. being very busy at work and at home or having a big ass to compensate for having boobs) to make you feel better.

Vent over.

:hysterical:

That would drive me crazy, too! Vent away!

[elizabethkott]

"My vagina's in the best shape of my life!!! I mean, really. You should see it. It's perky, has so much more energy now... and it's really slimmed down, too! You should see the fancy new accessories I just bought for it too... I mean, I don't dress it up every day, but sometimes, a girl just has to bedazzle her vagina, you know? Sure, it's expensive, but my vagina's worth it.
Don't worry. I'm sure your vagina has inner beauty."

[Minnifer]

I realize that there are some things that I have (house, child, well paying professional job, boobs etc.) that you wish you had,

Ugh, that's annoying, like when people beyotch about being too thin(!)... but what you "have" is more valuable (esp kid) than being in good shape, designer clothes, treatments etc so she's probably saying these things out loud to herself to make herself feel better... but it's still annoying, and I vote for you saying something along the lines of elektra's proposed response! :D

[Uno-Mom]

My peeve is the opposite: when an athletic slender friend complains about how "fat" they are... "I've never been this out of shape!" or a highly-decorated friend complains that they have nothing to wear.

I'm always tempted to ask, if they think THEY have major appearance problems, how the heck much are the always judging ME for how I look? (15ish pounds overweight, never made up, I spend nothing on clothes...)

But there have been a few times when I happened to discover they don't judge me at all. Just in a totally unrelated conversation they say something that makes me know they admire how I look. I realize they just have a warped view of themselves, not anybody else. I guess that's better than them walking aroudn judging everyone by those standards but it's really sad for them. Yuck.

[Melbel]

No kidding. Vent away. I spent an entire weekend hearing all about triathlons, how fit they all were, and how everyone should do it. Ummm, I would love to but for my disabling back injuries that prevent me from running or riding a bike long distances. Thanks for pointing that out ladies. So helpful.

[Meatball Mommie]

"My vagina's in the best shape of my life!!! I mean, really. You should see it. It's perky, has so much more energy now... and it's really slimmed down, too! You should see the fancy new accessories I just bought for it too... I mean, I don't dress it up every day, but sometimes, a girl just has to bedazzle her vagina, you know? Sure, it's expensive, but my vagina's worth it.
Don't worry. I'm sure your vagina has inner beauty."


:ROTFLMAO:OMG! Seriously... I wish I had the guts to ever say something like this out loud! You are hilarious!

[carolinamama]

"My vagina's in the best shape of my life!!! I mean, really. You should see it. It's perky, has so much more energy now... and it's really slimmed down, too! You should see the fancy new accessories I just bought for it too... I mean, I don't dress it up every day, but sometimes, a girl just has to bedazzle her vagina, you know? Sure, it's expensive, but my vagina's worth it.
Don't worry. I'm sure your vagina has inner beauty."

:rotflmao: That would be hilarious. I am sure that one would shut your friend up for a good while.

[kozachka]

"My vagina's in the best shape of my life!!! I mean, really. You should see it. It's perky, has so much more energy now... and it's really slimmed down, too! You should see the fancy new accessories I just bought for it too... I mean, I don't dress it up every day, but sometimes, a girl just has to bedazzle her vagina, you know? Sure, it's expensive, but my vagina's worth it.
Don't worry. I'm sure your vagina has inner beauty."

Good speech, but unfortunately, it would not fly with this particular person. She'd make the argument that her vagina is in even better shape, and she really knows how to use it, so all the men, who she has ever been with, are still pining after her. The last part she has said (not in these exact words, but almost) and on more than one occasion. And she 'accessorized' her vagina by de-fuzzing it with laser threatments.

[kozachka]

Ugh, that's annoying, like when people beyotch about being too thin(!)... but what you "have" is more valuable (esp kid) than being in good shape, designer clothes, treatments etc so she's probably saying these things out loud to herself to make herself feel better... but it's still annoying, and I vote for you saying something along the lines of elektra's proposed response! :D

I think you are right as to why she is saying all these things, but I can't gloat too much about the kid part as this GF can't seem to get pregnant even though she and her DH stopped using protection several years ago, and she was on chlomid for a few months.

[kozachka]

Since I can't brag about having a child, I guess I'll have to talk more about my boobs/bra shopping every time GF mentions how great she looks. In fact I already started doing that - 'complained' to her about results of my bra fitting at Nordstrom :icon_twisted:. Turns out I need a much smaller band and larger cup. Of course, I don't thing it's such a great achievement since I have the same body, just need to invest into a new size bras, but others who I mentioned it to (GF and DH) were like "wow, nice".