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HIU8
10-02-2011, 08:58 PM
I posted a long email here
http://windsorpeak.com/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=411942

about DS's behavior. We started a sticker chart again to see if it would do anything. It's been 2 days. DS started out excited again about it b/c of the star wars stickers. He did great last night. TOnight he did really well until the last 2 things he needed to do before bed. He just lost it. So, no stickers for teeth brushing and potty. When he heard no stickers for that he had a massive anxiety attack (worse than I've ever seen before). It took 30 minutes to calm him down. He finally understood that he can't get a sticker for completing a task when he didn't complete it. He understood that we would start over again tomorrow.

So, I feel like the sticker chart sort of worked, but we have a long way to go. DH wants me to look into meditation. I am also looking into supplements and medication. Poor DS said tonight that he wishes he didn't explode like he does and he can't seem to stop it once it starts. I feel horrible.

Staraglimmer
10-02-2011, 10:57 PM
:grouphug: hugs mama! I hope it gets better.


Sent from my iPhone
Steph

karstmama
10-03-2011, 09:42 AM
take a nice deep breath & hold it a sec & let it out.

to me, this doesn't sound like a disaster as much as the sticker chart *working*. he didn't do x, he didn't get the sticker, he got upset (ok, upset out of proportion, but being upset was appropriate), he seems to get the connection, he'll try again tomorrow.

i can't say anything about the meds except i think you'll know when it's time to try that. you seem in tune with him, and i think it's reasonable for him to keep trying until it's not reasonable anymore. hugs, mama, you're doing a good job. you're the perfect mama for your son.

Gena
10-03-2011, 10:28 AM
to me, this doesn't sound like a disaster as much as the sticker chart *working*. he didn't do x, he didn't get the sticker, he got upset (ok, upset out of proportion, but being upset was appropriate), he seems to get the connection, he'll try again tomorrow.


:yeahthat:

This is my impression too. And our experience with using a star chart for DS has been similar: major upset at the start about not earning his stars, followsed by realizing the connection between tasks, stars, and privileges, and some comfort in realizing he can try again to next day.

Suppliments and medications can help a lot, especially since your DS realizes that he needs some help to take the edge off. He currently is not on any medication, but we have used it in the past. DS is on several suppliments that help regulate his mood and behavior. Maintaining his sensory diet is also key.

HIU8
10-03-2011, 10:30 AM
We work the hardest on maintaining his sensory diet--which has been changing since starting a new school with a much longer day.

What suppliments do you use? How do you know which suppliments to use (is there a list somewhere of what they are and what they do and how to figure out which one(s) a child needs?

Gena
10-03-2011, 11:08 AM
We work the hardest on maintaining his sensory diet--which has been changing since starting a new school with a much longer day.

I completely understand. DS's sensory diet changed with the start of the new school year too. Balancing his sensory diet seems to always be a work in progress.


What suppliments do you use? How do you know which suppliments to use (is there a list somewhere of what they are and what they do and how to figure out which one(s) a child needs?

Right now we use:
- Rainbow Light Nutristars for his multi-vitamin
- MorEPA Mini-Junior (http://www.minami-nutrition.us/website/morepa_mini.php)for his Omega suppliment. This is a high EPA: low DHA formula (7:1). Research shows that a lot of kids with hyperactivity do well on this type of formula.
- Behavior Balance DMG (http://www.foodscienceofvermont.com/vitamins-supplements/behavior-balance-dmg-liquid.php). This is a suppliment that contains high dose B vitamins, Magnesium, zinc, and DMG (a methyl donor that helps cell with functioning). This suppliment has done wonders for DS in increasing his language skills and socialization. A lot of parents use it to help manage ADHD symptoms.
- Melatonin to help with sleep

Suppliments are definatley a trial and error type of thing. What does wonders for one child can be totally ineffective for another. I've tried several others that did not help DS (such as GABA, single B vitamins, various Omega formulas, etc). As for knowing what to try, I get some information from other parents I know IRL and some from on-line support groups. You can find lists of suppliments to try on-line as well, but it can be really hard to sift the good information from the ads.

JTsMom
10-04-2011, 07:31 AM
:hug: I know I mentioned this before, but have you tried a timer? For whatever reason, DS responds very well to it. I like it b/c I don't have to set up any type of consequence necessarily. I can just say, "You have 3 mins to get your teeth brushed. Go!" and like magic, he goes. It doesn't work 100% of the time, but it has a really good success rate. I started off just using the kitchen timer, but then bought a couple of cheapy ones to keep around the house. Then I got our favorite:

http://www.amazon.com/TIMER-INCH-MODEL-AUDIBLE-OPTION/dp/B001UAMZCU/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1317726817&sr=8-1

Charts that I made- the small one is his "morning jobs" chart, the large one is our entire day.

https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-aeMlRDH_4Ps/TorrEG7cxgI/AAAAAAAAHKs/9ujHv9JAmVQ/s512/2011_09_07_IMG_9999_7.JPG

https://lh4.googleusercontent.com/-1TNynTsBnL0/TorrR3UWmAI/AAAAAAAAHKw/r1Y_pXLCk48/s512/2011_09_07_IMG_9999_6.JPG

I have stickers on the backs of the morning jobs one- he flips them over himself. The large one is the one I use the sticker tickets for. I control that one more, but I sometimes let him put his own sticker on the chart. I was using 1 sticker=3 mins of screen time, but now we're trying a sticker "store".

We've had the flipping out over not getting a sticker before issues, but I repeatedly have talked to him about how if he doesn't earn 1, it's ok b/c there are SO many now, and just really stressed that it's not appropriate to flip out over it, and surprisingly, that has helped. I also try really hard not to say, "You lost a sticker", but congratulate him when he does earn one. Subtle difference, but it matters to him. Having so many is good too, b/c if he loses it at one point, there is still incentive to recover, kwim?

One other little thing that helped for a while:
http://www.speakingofspeech.com/uploads/TantrumsDontHelp1.pdf

Pepper
10-04-2011, 07:57 PM
Ugh, I never had luck with a sticker chart either! Smileys, sticker, picture schedules, whatever - maybe it was my fail but it never seemed to have an effect of DS1's moods/behavior.

Lately we've been using a green-yellow-red system, which is what they do is DS1's kindy classroom. (He's in an "individual management" class, which has 8 kids and 3 teachers). We made up a chart similar to the one they have at school (though not exactly the same, which DS1 was distressed about) and wrote his and DS2's names on cut-out paper stars. Both boys have to be on green to watch preferred TV shows, play videogames, etc. They get moved to yellow for being "fresh-mouthed" or mean to each other, and on red if they hit or hurt each other or hit DH or myself (I'm trying to match this with the rules at school, for consistency).

What works for me is that if DS1 is on yellow, I can say to him "rememebr you're tyring to get back to green" instead of "stop antagonizing your brother." Both boys seem to accpet the consequence of being on yellow or red much better than they would otherwise, i.e. if they hit each other they put up a fight when I send them to their rooms, vs. if I say you're on red they know what that means and accept the time-out much better.

Just some thoughts for you...I think our DSs sound pretty similar. DS1 is 5-1/2, recently diagnosed as ADHD, we're been doing OT for almost 2 years for sensory seeking (but tactile defensive, so he whacked a lot of kids at preschool).