Out on a limb .....

[Toba]

My DS is 7 and has a friend (actually a cousin-in-law) that's the same age. They've been playing together since they were about four. There were a few times that we had to separate them because of bad behavior (usually from the friend; he's got a touch of evil in him ... glued himself to a chair, called my nephew (who was in 5th grade at the time, helping the younger ones) a m-fer (only he used the whole word) and screaming at his teacher, etc.). They've been playing together again lately since the summer and things are generally going well. I usually let his friend (N) come over on M-W-F because those are the days that DH comes home on time (instead of being in school) to give me a break. His mom usually picks him up at 6 pm and I get them from the bus stop at 3 pm. And let me tell you, those three hours are the longest ones in the day.

It's a rule that they have to finish their homework before snacks and play and normally they're good with that. They both played hooky on Friday (Thursday they were off from school for the holiday) so they had extra homework today. N did his homework without complaint and was really good taking direction. I checked it, made him make corrections and he was courteous. DS on the other hand was a monster. They usually have the same homework because they're in the same grade but DS had a bit more and was VERY unfocused because N was done with his stuff and DS was still sitting here doing homework. I let him leave two pages undone to go play, mainly for my own sanity. I'm going nuts. I feel like N's mother is using me as a babysitter lately .... she stopped over on the way out and had N ask if it was okay if he stayed here for a few hours because he didn't want to go shopping with his mom. DH said no because he had his own homework to do (he's in grad school and every spare minute he has is done doing homework .... which leaves me feeling lonely and neglected, which isn't fair to either of us).

I have panic disorder and as soon as DH comes home, I hide in my iPod because I'm just so overwhelmed. I don't want to cut out the play with N because he's really the only one that he has play dates with ... he plays with his cousins here and there too. Right now they're upstairs screaming and carrying on ... I think they're playing hide and seek. Outside isn't an option because of the weather today. I don't know what to do. I guess this is God's way of telling me that I should give up on my baby lust.

*turns up the iPod*

[misshollygolightly]

Wow, that's a lot of togetherness for those kids! 3 hours 3 days a week! I definitely wouldn't want to be responsible for entertaining/supervising someone else's kid that often--I can see why you're feeling taken advantage of. Also, I can't imagine how your DS will ever get to cultivate any other friendships or pursue other interests if you keep up that schedule. I'd probably tell the mom that you're going to have to scale back the visits some--your DS needs more time to get his homework and chores done, you need more family time, etc. I'd cut back to once a week or less. If she and her son want more playtime than that, then they need to share in the responsibility some by hosting the boys at their house occasionally. It's great that your DS and his cousin-in-law get along so well, but it'd also be nice for him to have some time to himself and time to play with others. That's my 2 cents, anyway!

[elephantmeg]

I'd say one day a week (maybe friday?)

[pinkmomagain]

Wow, that's a lot of togetherness for those kids! 3 hours 3 days a week! I definitely wouldn't want to be responsible for entertaining/supervising someone else's kid that often--I can see why you're feeling taken advantage of. Also, I can't imagine how your DS will ever get to cultivate any other friendships or pursue other interests if you keep up that schedule. I'd probably tell the mom that you're going to have to scale back the visits some--your DS needs more time to get his homework and chores done, you need more family time, etc. I'd cut back to once a week or less. If she and her son want more playtime than that, then they need to share in the responsibility some by hosting the boys at their house occasionally. It's great that your DS and his cousin-in-law get along so well, but it'd also be nice for him to have some time to himself and time to play with others. That's my 2 cents, anyway!

I agree with everything said here! Sounds like you are putting yourself through alot of unnecessary torture! Cut down on those playdates!

[DrSally]

That's too much, esp. w/ a child that's difficult to play with, but even with a friendly, interactive child. I would cut it down to once a week at most and only for 2 hours. I did a babysittting exchange with a friend and we watched each other's kids for 3 hours each. If she wants to do more playdates, then she can do them at her house. You could even offer to trade off, one week at your house and one week at hers. It would be great for your DS to interact w/more kids, find different friends.