Tubal Ligation? Too young?

[LexyLou]

I don't know. I'm just SO done dealing with birth control. I'm tired of being the one responsible, either the pill or the mirena, or making sure we have condoms.

DH is so against getting a vasectomy, which pisses me off. But he just has this visual of his balls being sucked up like when they neuter a dog. I think it's juvenile but I'm at a point where I'm like fine, I'll do a tubal.

I'm only 34. I'm done having kids, but is it stupid to do it?

Anyone else have one? What's the recovery like?

[karstmama]

no, it's not stupid at all. at 34, you should be old enough to know your own mind. it's an outpatient surgery, but you'll need someone at home that day & maybe the next.

the main thing is to make *sure* you're done. you hear of tubals being reversed, but it's hard, expensive, out-of-pocket, and not guaranteed in any way.

[SnuggleBuggles]

I'm in the same age range as you and there is the slightest of niggle in the back of my brain about this. Dh won't do a V b/c of all his reading the part where what if something happened to your spouse and you wanted more kids with your future partner stuck out to him. I still have years ahead where I could potentially have a baby and I don't know for sure what the future will hold. So, for now I am happy with my copper IUD.

That said, my sister opted for Essure when she was around this age. She has no kids and wants no kids. There has never been a doubt in her mind.

GL!
Beth

[Nyfeara]

I'm 38 and had a tubal as part of the c-section when DS2 was delivered. For us, it was the ideal time to do it and we were sure we did not want to have more kids. I'm not sure what happens when they do it as a stand-alone procedure.

I had some pain in my upper abdomen off to one side for a couple days and my OB said that was from the tubal. It was just a dull constant pain for 2-3 days tops. Other than that, it did not change/add anything to the c-section recovery.

[ezcc]

I don't know.. I was 33 when I had dd and really felt done for a long time (had ds at 30)- now I'm expecting #3 at 39 and really excited about it-I never really considered anything permanent as I guess in the back of my mind I had the feeling I might want another, but I would really think hard if I were you. DS is 47, and he is the one who really wanted this baby the most!

[MamaSnoo]

I have been thinking about this too. I really think that we are done at 2 and DH agrees. He has some weird issue with the V. I cannot understand it, and he gets too worked-up to discuss it. It is really weird.

So, I keep thinking that if I do not VBAC, they could do it at the time of my c-section. OTOH, I could go back for Essure later, whether I VBAC or not. That is probably what I will do. I do not think that during my pregnancy or at the time of delivery is a good time for me to make this kind of decision.

In your position, I would look at Essure if you do want something permanent. I would imagine the anesthesia and recovery are a lot easier than a lap tubal.

[mommylamb]

I'm 36 and pregnant, and if for some reason I end up with a C, I'll probably have my tubes done then and there. Assuming I have a vaginal delivery (I did with DS, so no reason to assume a C), then DH is definitely having a V after DS2 comes.

[elephantmeg]

I've been wondering the same thing. I'm 31 and am 3 years into a mirena. I might do something permanent when it comes out and I might just get one more and then something permanent. Sigh. DH will not get a V. He flat out refuses. grrr. But I wasn't 100% sure at my c-section so I didn't have a tubal then.

[elaineandmichaelsmommy]

Dunno what to tell you. DD2 was a surprise gift from our anniversary and I've always gotten pregnant VERY easily so for us my tubal was a no brainer ,it wouldn't have been IF we were having no's 4 or 5 but WHEN. You've got to do what's right for you and your family but you are young and none of us can forsee the future. If you would be ok with another baby after 35 then I'd say do the iud. You just never know and as it's been said before "never" is a very big word.

[nfowife]

lexy, have you thought about the mirena or paraguard? I had the mirena and was pretty happy with it. No periods most of the time (after the initial spotting ends). I do think I was a bit less "in the mood" compared to a hormone-free me, but at the time it was worth it.

FWIW, DH just recently had a V and although he was reluctant and it took a LOT of nagging after he agreed to do it for him to actually go through with it, I don't think he regrets it. He says he can't feel any difference, but we know for sure there are no more swimmers in there!

How about something less invasive like Essure for you?

[LexyLou]

I've never heard of Essure. I'm going to look into it.

I had the Mirena in after DD2 and I liked it. I've been having a lot of bloating issues lately so I had it removed to rule it out but I don't think it's that, so I could just get the mirena inserted again but TMI DH could feel the strings then when I had them shortened, because I have a tilted uterus, they almost couldn't find it!

But it's not a bad option.

[Raewyn]

I am 35 having my first baby and very excited. A big turn around as I hadn't thought i'd ever want children.

I would talk to your doctor and see what she recommends.

[Katigre]

I'd look into Essure of Adina (sp?) - they're far less invasive than traditional tubals.

[Melbel]

At age 34 I would have told you I was DONE having babies. At 39, I was happily pregnant with DD2. Sometimes, you do not know what life has in store. For this reason, I would not do anything permanent at age 34. You cannot know what your heart desires in the future. It is such a big, important decision, it would be better to wait, IMHO.

FWIW, DH was also very hesitant to have a V because a friend had a rough recovery. I had planned to have a tubal during my CS, but the hospital changed hands just before delivery and would not do tubals anymore. DH ended up with a V, and will tell anyone who will listen how easy it was and that he has no regrets.

[Cam&Clay]

These DHs need to man up and get vasectomies! I'm sorry, but if you can give birth to multiple children, the least they can do is have a vasectomy. It's THEIR TURN.

[rlmomto5]

I had a tubal when I was 28. I had my 3rd child, and was certain I didn't want anymore. I had a c-section so it was easy for me. When I turned 34 my DH and I decided we would like another child. I traveled to a well known doctor 3 hours away to have a tubal reversal. After several months of TTC with no luck I had an HSG done. Only one of my tubes were open. We kept trying, but never had any luck. That's when we decided to adopt, and now we have 2 more beautiful children from Guatemala. They are 8 & 9 now. I'm 46. If I were you I would wait on the tubal. My doctor tried to get me to wait because I was so young, but I insisted I was finished. You're still young too. That's just my advice...good luck on your decision!

[JBaxter]

These DHs need to man up and get vasectomies! I'm sorry, but if you can give birth to multiple children, the least they can do is have a vasectomy. It's THEIR TURN.

I am SO with you. I push 4 babies out my vagina from 8 to 10lbs. If Dh would not have volunteered would have had issues. Marriage is a partnership birth control is no and should not be one sided. Man up and do something about it would be my statement.

[Octobermommy]

I don't think 34 is too young for a tubal. Each case is different. SOne woman decide at 35 to have another baby and some women decide at 44. You truly don't ever know for certain how you will feel in 5 years. That being said, would you do ivf if you ever decided to have more children? That would be an option if you decided post tubal to ttc.

[Melaine]

These DHs need to man up and get vasectomies! I'm sorry, but if you can give birth to multiple children, the least they can do is have a vasectomy. It's THEIR TURN.

I agree.

[Melaine]

I don't think 34 is too young to come to this decision. I am a bit concerned about my DF who is getting it at 26. I understand that she feels done, I just hope she doesn't regret it. I'm with a pp who mentioned: not sure that when you are about to give birth is the best time to be making the decision, ykwim? (she'll be getting a tubal with her C-section).

[wellyes]

It is absolutely fine, but not what I'd choose in your shoes. Minor procedure for him vs major surgery for you - there is an imbalance there.

I do get that men can be virile for decades longer than women, though. Were DH widowed I would want him to have options. But if the only reason your DH has is childish, that would irk me since he's asking you to bear all the pain and risk.

[Corie]

I had my tubal ligation at age 33 when I had my son. I had
a c-section and it was easy to just do it then.

[JoyNChrist]

These DHs need to man up and get vasectomies! I'm sorry, but if you can give birth to multiple children, the least they can do is have a vasectomy. It's THEIR TURN.

:yeahthat:

We're not there yet, but I've told DH that when it comes to permanent birth control, he's getting a vasectomy, and that's that. He whined at first, but really...I can carry three children (two of them at one time!), have a vaginal birth and a C-section, breastfeed and do 90% of the childcare, not to mention all the miscarriages and fertility crap I went through after DS1 to get the twins here...and he can't have a vasectomy? I'm not usually one to insist on things being fair in a relationship, but come on, really?

Needless to say, I got pretty cranky about the discussion, and I'm pretty sure that when the time comes, DH won't complain too much about the V. ;)

[jse107]

I pushed two kids out with painful episiotimies, so DH got the "snip-n-clip." After we had DD we were sure we were done. We both agreed something permanent was the way to go. I was 30 at the time, so I don't think age has anything to do with it. If you're done, you're done.

I told my OB that if we changed our minds we'd adopt.

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