No MIL, we are not going to Ikea for you

[BabyBearsMom]

MIL was supposed to come down and visit this weekend because FIL is out of town. When DH invited her, I expected her to say no because she absolutely never comes to visit. But she said yes, and asked DH if we could go to Ikea together to pick up a few things. Sure, fine, no problem. On Friday, she calls and says that she isn't going to be able to come down for the weekend (shocking! MIL dropping out of a chance to see her grand daughter...oh wait, not shocking at all since she will move heaven and earth to see my nieces, but my DD who lives only 1 hour away rarely sees her). She talks to me when she calls I tell her no problem, have a nice weekend. When I tell DH, DH calls her back to make sure everything is okay and she says everything is fine, she just wants to work on our niece's Christmas stocking (yes, it is October in case you are wondering) and then asks if we would still go to Ikea for her and pick up a few things. I forgot to mention that MIL does not have a job. She was a SAHM, and now all of her kids are grown up. FIL is extremely successful, so she doesn't need to work. So she is literally home all day every day. She has an Ikea 45 minutes away from her house (our Ikea is also about 45 minutes from our house). Sorry MIL, but both DH and I WOH FT all week long and take care of an 18 month old. Not to mention, we are living in limbo as to whether or not my current pregnancy is going to stay in place or miscarry since I had to go to the hospital several nights ago due to bleeding. So no, MIL, we will not spend some of our precious weekend time going to Ikea to buy sh*t for you, especially when you yet again make up an excuse to ignore our DD who was very excited when we told her that Grandma was coming to visit. Get off your lazy butt in the middle of the week and drive the 45 minutes your lazy self and buy whatever crap it is you think you need to fill your house that is already full of crap. Grrr!

[Clarity]

Wow. She didn't come because she was working on an x-mas stocking? Knitting it? I think that's the lousiest excuse that I ever heard. So sorry. :hug:

[♥ms.pacman♥]

Wow. I am so sorry. :hug: i would be so upset and hurt. Seriously, she can't come down to visit bc she was working on her niece's christmas stocking?? What the frack, lame excuse indeed. And then asks you to get stuff at IKEA for her, even though it's the same distance for you? That is so crazy.

are your nieces by any chance your DH's sister's kids? it does seem like a lot of grandmothers seem to favor pay way more attention to their own daughter's children than their son's kids, for whatever reason, which is so unfair. i too would be upset about something like this, especially when they only live an HOUR away!

[Melaine]

Ugh...that is insane!!! I am so sorry. I hope you are able to have a better weekend once you get over the frustration of dealing with her!

[BabyBearsMom]

Wow. I am so sorry. :hug: i would be so upset and hurt. Seriously, she can't come down to visit bc she was working on her niece's christmas stocking?? What the frack, lame excuse indeed. And then asks you to get stuff at IKEA for her, even though it's the same distance for you? That is so crazy.

are your nieces by any chance your DH's sister's kids? it does seem like a lot of grandmothers seem to favor pay way more attention to their own daughter's children than their son's kids, for whatever reason, which is so unfair. i too would be upset about something like this, especially when they only live an HOUR away!

The nieces are DH's sister's kids. She flies 300 miles at least once a month but won't drive the hour to see DD. She also constantly complains about never seeing our DD even though we drive up to her at least every other month and there are 3 of us to pack up and one of her. Arch, she droves me bonkers

[JTsMom]

Wow, she has some nerve! I'd be livid!

[Melanie]

.speechless.

[karstmama]

(sticky vibes!)

[TwinFoxes]

Every aspect of that story is crazy! Christmas stocking in October? Go to Ikea for her? Won't drive to see GD but flies hundreds of miles (because going through airports these days is SO fun). Wow. Sorry.

[catsnkid]

Wow. She is as bad or worse then my MIL who won't drive here. She is an idiot of she thinks you are going to haul on over to IKEA just for her. It's one thing to make it an outing with you.

[mommylamb]

It's really her loss.

[hellokitty]

Lol, you certainly have my sympathy. I vote that you make the, "red towel" her regular towel after this incident. She deserves it.

[arivecchi]

I am incensed for you. Tell me what she needs from IKEA. I'll add a little something when I change ds2's diaper and send it her way.

[MontrealMum]

Ugh! I am so sorry. :hug: That is so not normal, so don't give it a second that the woman is nuts!!!


I am incensed for you. Tell me what she needs from IKEA. I'll add a little something when I change ds2's diaper and send it her way.

:hysterical:

[MamaKath]

The nieces are DH's sister's kids. She flies 300 miles at least once a month but won't drive the hour to see DD. She also constantly complains about never seeing our DD even though we drive up to her at least every other month and there are 3 of us to pack up and one of her. Arch, she droves me bonkers
Argh! So frustrating! I am glad you will have a weekend to relax now. I wish your mil could see that the person who misses out the most is your dd each time she gets screwed out of a visit. As a person who had grandparents allergic to me and my sister (or at least it seemed from our perception) it sickens me to watch someone else deal with this. :/

[BabyBearsMom]

Argh! So frustrating! I am glad you will have a weekend to relax now. I wish your mil could see that the person who misses out the most is your dd each time she gets screwed out of a visit. As a person who had grandparents allergic to me and my sister (or at least it seemed from our perception) it sickens me to watch someone else deal with this. :/

It makes me mad too. We had a great aunt growing up who really favored our cousins and I always felt burned about it. I don't want DD to ever feel that way. And of course, I therefore overcompensate for every slight to DD which isn't good either. If she buys my neices something (she doesn't buy things for my DD because we can "afford to buy her gifts ourselves" and SIl cannot...my IL's pay SIL's mortgage and give her a car every few years) I immediately run out and get DD whatever it is only bigger or better. I know it is not the right way to handle the situation, DH and I discuss that, but I can't help myself when I see DD slighted. And when she gets older, she will notice and it will only get worse.


I am incensed for you. Tell me what she needs from IKEA. I'll add a little something when I change ds2's diaper and send it her way.

:ROTFLMAO: Yes, the next time I see her, I may accidentally put DD's poopy diaper in her purse instead of the garbage can...


Lol, you certainly have my sympathy. I vote that you make the, "red towel" her regular towel after this incident. She deserves it.

:hysterical:

[♥ms.pacman♥]

It makes me mad too. We had a great aunt growing up who really favored our cousins and I always felt burned about it. I don't want DD to ever feel that way. And of course, I therefore overcompensate for every slight to DD which isn't good either. If she buys my neices something (she doesn't buy things for my DD because we can "afford to buy her gifts ourselves" and SIl cannot...my IL's pay SIL's mortgage and give her a car every few years) I immediately run out and get DD whatever it is only bigger or better. I know it is not the right way to handle the situation, DH and I discuss that, but I can't help myself when I see DD slighted. And when she gets older, she will notice and it will only get worse.


wow, that's NUTS!! though i think this totally points to why your MIL favors your SIL and her kids more..i bet she sees your DH and you as very successful, and she feels threatened by that somehow. from what you posted it sounds like your MIL really enjoys having an adult child (your SIL) being very dependent on her (for money, gifts, kid stuff etc) so that is why she does so much stuff for them and not you guys..because she likes to feel "needed." It's totally unfair and makes no sense (the children who end up working hard and not burdening their parents are the ones who end up being ignored and slighted). yet i see it happen so often in my extended family (my mom's aunts/uncles)...the successful kids (and their kids) pretty much get ignored, while the others who always seem to be in some sort of trouble (financial, etc) get showered with attention, money, you name it. grandma really likes to feel like she's "helping" her kid who "really needs her" (but she really isn't helping, she's just enabling and making it worse, not to mention it's causing resentment amongst the other kids). Sorry you have to deal with your MIL being like this. It really isn't fair. :(