s/o--What do you wish you had done differently with your wedding?

[justlearning]

This is a s/o of the do-over wedding ring thread and the wedding expenses thread.

So if you could go back in time (with the same resources you had then), what do you wish you had spent more or less on with your wedding? What about the number of guests, setting, etc.? Or is there absolutely nothing that you would have changed?

I wish that we had a dance. My parents didn't want one, so I respected their wishes, but I would have had much more fun with my friends at the wedding if we did have a dance.

I also wish that I had spent a little more money on getting my hair done. I was VERY frugal back then so I had it done at a beauty college for less than $10, and it looked OK but not as nice as it could have.

Other than that, I'm pretty happy with everything else. What about you?

[SnuggleBuggles]

I wish I had had a bridesmaid or 2. It was an awkward social period for me where I was just out of college and in college, dh and his coworkers were my social network. I should have asked my childhood best friend to be my maid of honor and, in the end, I did ask her to come early and be there with me. But, it would have been nice to have a peer vs family to rely on for help and such.

I'd have gone with the dress I wanted. :) I compromised and never loved it.

I would have done the chicken dance. I was too cool for all of the wedding staples of my area at that time. I had a big band band instead (well, not a full big band but that style of music). Now? I'd have a DJ and a big old dance party!

Everything else I loved! If I had more money there are things I would have done but that wasn't the question. :)

Beth

[ellies mom]

I wish I had gone to Costco a day earlier, so I could have gotten a carrot cake without a frosting carrot on each piece. And I wish some of the pictures had come out better. A friend took the pictures and she did a fine job except that the location the owner of the wedding place had set up for photos following the ceremony wasn't ideal. It probably wouldn't have been as much a problem if DH and I were more similar in skin tone. Oh well. I got enough good pictures to fill a few frames and scrapbook the day so it really isn't a huge loss in the big scheme of things.

[mommylamb]

I wish we had had a different photographer. My wedding was planned very quickly, and my mother did most of the planning because I was still in England until less than 3 months before the wedding. We had to get married within 90 days of landing in the U.S. in order to fulfill the obligations of the fiance visa that DH came in on, which was necessary for him to get his green card. Anyway, our photographer lost her husband about a month before our wedding, and that was a terrible thing for her. I would have totally understood if she said she had wanted to bow out and given us a suggestion for another photographer, but she didn't. And I just don't think her heart was in it at all. Either that or she just wasn't a particularly good photographer.

I also would have done my hair differently. My hair looked a lot nicer when my sister got married several years later and I was the MOH. For my own wedding, I didn't do a trial run because we were really doing everything on the cheap. DH and I were both right out of grad school, and neither of us had a job. DH's family has no money at all, so my parents footed the bill entirely, so I was very conscientious of being as frugal as possible.

But I would never do a re-do on the important part. I married my soul mate. 11 years later and I've never regretted it.

[marymoo86]

I liked my wedding but if I had it all to do again I would scrap it all and have a destination wedding and bank the difference.

[artvandalay]

I would have only had the maid of honor and best man, no one else standing up in the bridal party. I would have had a different photographer. I would have been more clear in communication my exact wishes with the florist (apparently a photo wasn't clear enough) because I did not get the bouquet I wanted.

[KLD313]

I would have taken the money from my parents like they offered instead of having a big, expensive wedding. I would have done something much smaller and I wish I didn't get married in a church. I'm also divorced so that may be influencing my answer.

[KpbS]

I would have had a maid (in this case, matron) of honor, my sister. We didn't have any attendants for a couple of reasons but I regret it. We would have probably just had the one each but DH has quite a few brothers some he was close to and others definitely not, his father he is not particularly close to, good friends, etc. and didn't feel like he could pick one out of the group without causing some very hurt feelings. The venue was quite small as well and it would have been tricky to have more than 1, maybe 2 attendants but I really wish I would have had my sister up there with me. I need to tell her I'm sorry. I really doubt she is thinking about it now :tongue5: but I know at the time no one in the family really understood.

Everything else (minus a couple of fussing kids in the background--huge pet peeve of mine at the time!) was great. :)

[liamsmom]

I think I would have preferred to elope--but my sister did that and I felt that my family (and DH's) would like a wedding. I'm not sure that's what I would have definitely changed.

But I hated my DJ who clearly didn't get that I didn't want a big cheesy production. And who referred to DH and me as "Mr. and Mrs.___" despite the fact that I had written--in a black felt-tip pen, no less--not to do that.

[crl]

Oh I think I would have done most of it pretty much the same. I wish I had insisted on having the bow on the back of my dress taken off. And I kind of wish I had gone with my initial inclination of no veil. A better photographer would have been good, but choices were slim where we were married so I'm not sure I really could have gotten anyone better.

If my parents had offered me the money instead of the wedding, I would have taken it. But they didn't.

Catherine

[jenfromnj]

I loved my wedding, but there are a few things I'd change if I had the chance. I'd have not settled on a dress--I was working crazy hours when I was engaged, and kind of settled on the first dress that caught my eye, and it wasn't exactly what I wanted/should have worn. I would have also asked one additional friend to be a bridesmaid, she's a great friend and asked me to be in her wedding the following year and I was kicking myself in hindsight (I only asked my sister, SIL and BFFs).

[jren]

Wish I would've eloped. There was a beautiful little chapel in our hotel we could've been married at. They even provided witnesses. And we could've stayed on our honeymoon longer than 10 days. I tried to talk DH into this, but he wanted his friends and family at the wedding. 10 years later and where are the friends? Can't stand the family.

[clc053103]

I too wish I had a better photographer.

Wasted less money on a dress, it's sitting in a box never to be worn, as I only have a son!

And I hated my hair. I had two trials because I was so unhappy at the first, and still I hated it.

[DrSally]

Wish I would've spent a bit more $$ on some things. I was so frugal back then--in grad school, DH at his first job. I did the whole thing for $3k, but even spending another 1k would've improved things. I bought a $300 dress at David's bridal that I liked, but it really needed to be taken in. I was prob a 10 when I bought it, and a 4-6 when my wedding came around. It was hanging off of me and gaping at the neckline. My mom even commented. The ladies at the bridal shop discouraged me from doing last minute alterations. I don't think they wanted to do it, but it would've only been $25!

Also, I wish I would've been there when the bouquets were dropped off by the flower shop. I had specific ideas and even brought in pictures for the consultation. I got my white roses, but they didn't wrap the stems in satin. Also, for my MOH, I wanted pale pink petite bouquet w/the bottom wrapped in satin. They gave her a large bouquet w/baby's breath (yuck) and a tacky ribbon (no wrapping the bottom in satin). Very disappointed, esp. w/the money I spent on them relative to everything else. I also prob would've splurged for a private room. The restaurant was in a college town and very quiet usually, but there was some event that weekned, and it was packed.

I was very happy I forfeited my $200 deposit and ditched the first minister we interviewed (sexist), and found a cool Unitarian minister to preside. He was wonderful, and I'm really glad about that choice.

[mackmama]

I wish we made the reception longer and didn't take so long taking post-wedding pics. We missed so much of our own reception!

[crayonblue]

I would have asked my SILs to be in the wedding. I didn't because one SIL was married a month before us and asked other SIL and not me (long story) and I didn't want to reciprocate the rudeness and ask one and not the other but I didn't feel like I could ask both since I had just been written off. I just should have done it. 13 years later it is water under the bridge.

I would also have INSISTED that my parents act like they were married (they had just separated) and not make the whole thing awkward.

Besides that, I am pretty happy with my wedding day. I got a GREAT guy. :)

ETA: OH, I thought of the one thing I should have changed!!!!! I put my dress on a few hours before the ceremony and my strapless bra was digging into my back. Soooooo, I put it on the loosest clasp, thinking to myself that right before I walked down the aisle, I would tighten it up. I forgot. So, in all of our wedding pics, my chest looks slightly off. Like my bra is sticking out funny. Nice.

[hellokitty]

This sounds crazy, but I wished we either would have eloped or we would have had a fancier wedding. The wanting to elope part, b/c both my parents and my mil were a total PITA during the entire planning process. At one pt, we DID threaten to elope and my parents backed off a bit, but threw in, "if you elope, you are being selfish." Basically, both sides of parents felt that the wedding was for THEM, not us, and that really bugged me. On the flip side, while I had a lovely wedding that was super frugal, but didn't look it, I realized later (I was the first among my friends to be married) as most of my other friends and family got married, how bad it looked that our wedding was so cheap. Don't get me wrong, I don't usually care about this sort of stuff, but most friends and family had very expensive weddings. This includes my own brothers. My parents paid for all of our weddings, so I am actually really pissed that they spent SIX times the amt on each of my brothers' wedding compared to mine! I mean, it wasn't just a small difference, it was HUGE and I think it also said a lot about what my parents think of me compared to what they think of my brothers, it was like a slap in the face. Esp since I am the only daughter, you'd think I would have had the nicest wedding, but they kept bitching about how much my wedding was, even though it was like a bargain basement wedding compared to everyone else that my parent's know. My parents very rarely admit that they were wrong, but they actually admitted after all of these yrs that they made a mistake cheaping out for my wedding. I think they realize how bad it looked to everyone that I had such a low frill wedding, when everyone else they knew, including their other children had these completely extravagant weddings, which basically made mine look kind of dumb. Mine is what I would describe as one of those quaint, very detailed martha stewart type of weddings from her magazine. Everyone else's wedding we attended after our wedding basically went all out. At the time I did not realize it, but ppl were probably shocked that I had such a cheap wedding, when they knew what my dad did for a living.

Anyway, it is petty for me to feel this way. I know it. I had a lovely wedding, I know that many others would have loved to have had my wedding. I guess I just feel kind of bad that it was so sorely obvious that my wedding was the, "dumb" wedding compared to all of my siblings, cousins and other friends, it just really sucks when your parents make it so blatantly obvious how they feel about you in such a public manner.

[AnnieW625]

I have very few regrets with my wedding.

If we'd been able to I would've loved to have a destination wedding at a local winery near where my DH was living prior to us getting engaged and later married, but it worked out better because he ended up getting laid off, and not getting married in a Catholic church was pretty much out of the question (and we were both fine getting married in the church).

I wish I wouldn't have had my brother's girlfriend at the time be in our wedding. They broke up 6 months later and I have not talked to her since. She pretty much cut all of us out of her life.

If it had been possible to have a wedding in our family with less than 60 guests we would've done it, but it wasn't possible as 80% of the 130 people who came were all family; as both DH and I have large families.

I think I would've liked traditional bridesmaids gowns. We chose a sweater/skirt option from Nordstrom and it worked out well because we were married in the Catholic church and in February so strapless dresses weren't an option, but had I been able to do it over again I think I would've liked to have done something more traditional in silver, navy blue, or black. We inadvertently chose silver and black when I couldn't find any navy options I liked, and people jokingly asked us if we were big Oakland Raider fans.

I was happy with my hair, and I did my own makeup and got compliments on it from different people who attended or then saw the photos so I was really happy that I didn't spend $75 on a makeup artist for something I would remove with makeup remover and soap.

[TxCat]

I would have kept looking for a band that I loved. The IL's paid for much of the reception costs (long story), and MIL really pushed the band that we went with. They were fine, but I wish we would have gone for something more "us."

Also, I HATED my bouquet. I'm still angry when I see pictures with it.

[BabyH]

My "PC" answer - Nothing, of course, it was perfect.

My "real life" answer - Everything!!! Of course, the day was perfect, and magical and all of those things that weddings involve. But really, why didn't we elope?! Our wedding was so big I was introducing myself to people....It was definitely a party for my parents and in laws. Too big, too decorated, too "by the book".

If I did it again it really would just be me, DH and the one dog we had when we got married.

[curiousgeorge]

I loved my wedding!

DH and I were married by a family member and it was the first wedding he officiated. He did a wonderful job and made it so special. The receiption was so much fun. I begged the band to play longer and asked the hotel if we could pay any amount of money to stay longer...but no.

The one thing I would have changed (other than my Dad being alive to be there for me) was to have a videographer to capture it all. I loved our photographer's work and the pictures were amazing, but it just isn't the same as being able to watch it all happen again.

[sarahsthreads]

Hm. Well, for the most part I wouldn't have changed anything. I guess I didn't *love* my dress and probably should have shopped around a bit more. And my makeup was absolutely appalling - I should have just gone home from the salon and washed it off and gone without! Other little things that I've learned from all the weddings I've been to since - I'd probably let my bridesmaids pick their own dresses to match their personal style and I'd have given more thought to the music during the ceremony.

The one thing I wish wouldn't have happened was really beyond anyone's control - DH came down with the CHICKEN POX two days before our wedding. Seriously. In fact, my MIL was a kindergarten teacher for 30+ years, and neither he nor his sisters got chicken pox until they were adults. His oldest sister didn't get it until a couple of weeks after our wedding. (She was a bridesmaid.) Sigh.

Luckily, he soldiered on, and we got married, had a great party after, and postponed our honeymoon for a year. Ireland was still awesome for our first anniversary. :) And between our best man (who worked in stage productions and came armed with makeup) and our photographer, somehow they managed to *mostly* make it not look like DH was covered with chicken pox in the pictures.

Hey, at least we had the "in sickness" part down right from the beginning. ;)

And it makes for a really unusual wedding story, too.

Sarah :)

[longtallsally05]

I wish I'd done more research and spent more $ on a wedding photographer. Ours was...okay...at best.

[sidmand]

This probably sounds really cheesy but I can't actually think of anything I wish I'd done differently or would change...okay, one thing I realized...I was too afraid DH would be egged into smushing the cake in my face so we didn't do any of the cake eating/exchanging and there are some pictures of him cutting the cake with his aunt. :(

Some very minor things--I wish we'd gotten to eat some of the (from what we were told!) yummy food. I should have had my future SIL in the wedding somehow. But otherwise, nothing really.

[s7714]

I would have spent more time dress shopping. I never found a dress I truly loved and I still regret that every time I think about that day or look at pictures. I also would have tried out a few different hairstyles prior instead of just going with what I *thought* I wanted.

If you're going for a "if I knew then what I know now" aspect, I'd pick a different photographer as well. Not because we were unhappy with his work, just because of some problems we had getting our stuff after he developed some medical issues. We ended up getting everything eventually, but if we're getting a do-over I'd just as soon skip that whole fiasco too!

[Katigre]

I would have chosen different bridesmaid dresses - I like the styles now a lot better than the ones back then (especially the shorter length).

Otherwise I'm happy with everything - loved my dress, loved my photos, loved the venue with DJ and dancing, loved the honeymoon and still love my DH :).

[elektra]

I can't think of anything major.
I would have asked my dad not to lay out the day before. He fell asleep in the sun and got fried and looked like a lobster in all the pictures.
I would have had the makeup lady do my mom's makeup for her too. She would have liked that, and she was already having trouble with hand eye coordination at that point.
I would have gotten white little hooks instead of the darker ones the seamstress used to hold up my train.
Minor things!

The rest was just perfect- location (Kauai), photographer, musicians, DJ, Maid of honor, best man (we only had the two), guests, food, cake, dress, hair, flowers..... It was all awesome.
I paid for some and my parents paid for most of it and it was money well spent!

Oh, DH did lose his wedding ring in the ocean the next day, but we picked out a nicer ring that he liked much better so that wasn't even a negative in the end.
We have been back to "lost ring beach" several times since. ;)

[mjs64]

I'm the oldest of 3 girls and was the first to get married at 27. My mother very, very much wanted me to be married. She very, very much wanted to be, um, involved in the wedding planning. Her intentions were good--she wanted a big, extended family event, and she wanted it to be posh! But she also wanted to be involved in every single decision. I could not go to the florist alone. She had to approve the invitations and the wording, the flowers, the food, the guest list. I did make some choices, but they were all "approved," and all with the vision of a large wedding in mind. The day of, I couldn't wait for it to be over. Too many people! Some I'd never even met! My mother wouldn't characterize it that way--she always says "we" (she and I) had a beautiful wedding!

The trade-off? She paid for everything. What would I change? I wouldn't have taken the money. There was no middle ground--i.e., she wasn't willing to contribute x sum. If she hadn't been as involved as she was, a) she would have been hurt/disappointed and b) the wedding would have been much smaller and less elaborate. But it would have been more about DH and I.

ETA: Something more along the lines of what you're looking for: I wish I'd successfully cajoled DH into dance lessons! Our first dance was, um, lackluster.

[fumofu]

I loved my wedding! DH and I planned it exactly how we wanted it, and I'm so glad I had full monopoly over everything.

We had under 90 guests, it was close to my parents' house within the city with free parking. Sit-down dinner. Just the two of us - no wedding party. Our close friend from college was the officiant and we customized our ceremony. We rented my wedding gown and his tux, and I bought an evening gown on sale at Bloomies. String trio from the music school played during the ceremony and cocktail hour. We gave our thanks to our guests right before dinner, but after that no speeches, no gimmicky games. There was a first dance. Full bar that a lot of people enjoyed. We actually went ahead of schedule, which was unheard of, according to our onsite wedding planner.

After that, our friends treated us to several hours of karaoke. Then DH and I passed out in a hotel room. Ahh, it was quite a memorable night.

[elaineandmichaelsmommy]

I'd change everything.I never really wanted anything inparticular regarding a weddding and dh had a dream so we fulfilled that. An incredibly dorky,oh why did I do that,dream. We had a medival themed wedding on a budget. Ugh....To this day I don't want to look at my pictures.

In retrospect I would have liked a much smaller informal wedding and to have had a tented reception at a park afterwards.I also would have liked for my sisters to NOT have been involved in the wedding. I should have just asked a friend to be the moh, because honestly I would have been the same. oh well, done is done and we've had 10 great years together so far and 3 beautiful children. I wouldn't change one thing in our marriage. So I think I came out ahead.

[BebeRoo]

One thing I regretted the most was spending so much $$$$ on my wedding dress for one time use. Now it's just sitting in my closet collecting dust. :(

[klwa]

I'd make sure DBIL's girlfriend at the time wasn't in my family picture! (I asked her to leave for one picture. One picture. And DH's family insisted that she be in it. They were in HIGH SCHOOL. Of course they didn't make it. And the year before, when DH & I were engaged, they refused to let me in the famiyl picture at his older brother's wedding. Grr.)

And now that she left my brother because she was sleeping around, I wouldn't have my SIL in the wedding, either.

I'd probably go a little less formal with my dress, as well. But I think that's more of an age thing, so I probably wouldn't. :) A 23 year old can get away with the poof. I'd feel silly now. :) (Not saying anything about ladies who get married older & wear the poofy dresses. Just that that's not where I am in life now.)

[arivecchi]

I loved my small destination wedding, but looking back, I wish we had just eloped to an exotic location by ourselves. Would have been so much more relaxing.

I also wish I had not bought 2 wedding dresses. Long story.........

[veronica]

I loved my wedding. I hated my photographer. That is the only thing that makes me sad.

[amldaley]

I wish I'd had one at all.

[Kymberley]

Sometimes I wish I'd had an actually ceremony. We had a courthouse wedding with our families and it was very special. It was the judge's last wedding before his retirement, so he said we had a special place in his heart. Then I think of how my future SIL is being a bridezilla with 11 months to go before her wedding, and I think of how MIL nearly ruined ours with her alcoholic breakdown, and I'm really glad we had a simple courthouse gathering. Plus, we had a fabulous honeymoon with all the money we didn't spend on a ceremony!

[anonomom]

I mostly loved our wedding -- DH and I paid for it ourselves, and I was (and am) very proud of that. Yes, it was cheap and in many ways generic, but we had a ball.

Three things I would change:

1. I was so cheap at the time that while we had a photographer, we didn't order a wedding album. I thought I could do it myself cheaper. That's why I've been married for 12 years and don't have a wedding album yet. :-)

2. I'd have communicated more clearly with the DJ about our first dance. We chose Shania's Twain's "From this Moment" (I said we were generic!), but didn't realize that the CD version has a long spoken-word intro. That was awkward.

3. Most importantly, I'd have had the balls to go ahead and get married without my parents there. They were 1.5 hours late to the ceremony, and left me, the entire wedding party and all of the guests sitting in an un-air-conditioned chapel on a 100 degree day for no reason. Extreme lateness was my mom's patented way of making all family occasions about her, and I should have known she'd pull it on my wedding day. I should have just gone forward, but at the time I wanted my dad to walk me down the aisle, and I was actually worried that Mom's feelings would be hurt if I didn't wait for them.

[MoJo]

I would have NOT accepted my boss' offer to host the reception at cost at their banquet facility, and just held a more casual reception at the park where we had the wedding.

Accepting the offer meant my mom, sister and I were up til 3 a.m. the night before my morning wedding trying to iron the tablecloths and decorate. (There was another wedding the day before, and they said they didn't have time to do it. They also didn't warn us how hard it was going to be). It meant that everything else was running late the whole day. It meant hearing from the boss that I was ungrateful and that our marriage would never last, just because she didn't happen to be in the kitchen when I went through to thank everyone. I was so tired and she was so mean that I cried most of the way to our hotel. . . in another state.

There are LOTS of other things I'd change, but that's the big one.

We are still together, 13 years later.

ETA: Part of the reason that she was so mean was that she was mad at me. . . I found out we were going to be leaving the state at the end of the summer and made the mistake of letting her know. I was only the receptionist, had been there less than a year but longer than the past several employees, trained my replacement fully . . . but she was still mad.

ETAA: I didn't know I'd be leaving when I accepted her offer; I found out and told her about three weeks before the wedding, and about three months before we actually left. I stayed and worked all summer, even though it was miserable to do so.

[shawnandangel]

I would have held my wedding in Nashville instead of my hometown and would have ended up with the small 50-100 person wedding I wanted instead of the 300+. I had to spend so much on food I couldn't even have fabric table cloths.

I really wanted fabric tablecloths.

I wanted small round tables for people to sit intimately at - 5-6 people per table. Instead, tables had to be lined up (rectangular) and it looked like a giant mess hall. I didn't know 1/2 the people there. They were all friends of the family and distant relatives.

And I would have had a wedding planner so she/he could have told my family to butt out and then MAYBE I could have had the wedding that I wanted, not what they wanted. It was everything they wanted - right down to the food selection.

I have very few pleasant memories of my wedding because I spent most of the week beforehand crying and arguing with my family who went behind my back and changed all my little details (including the food that would be served) that I had spent a year working on.

[mariza]

I would have just got married at the hotel. That was my original plan because DH was divorced and I could not have a Catholic wedding unless he got his previous marriage annulled. I didn't want to wait for that to happen so we planned to just get married in the hotel with a gorgeous view of Boston and the Charles River as a backdrop. Then my Mom gave me a guilt trip saying "can't you find some kind of a church so it at least looks like a wedding?". (to say she wasn't supportive of my decision to marry DH was an understatement!) I should have ignored her but I rented a historic Church down the street from our reception hall and kept the JP that I hired prior to the location change.
That cost me an extra $2000 and took up time we could have spent partying ;) not to mention we had no affiliation with the church before or after our wedding and in hindsight it strikes me as odd that we got married there.
Also, we did so much ourselves (setting up centerpieces, decorating church, etc) that I waited too long to have my mom start doing my hair. It st came out good or so we thought at the time, but now I realize it was HUGE :rotflmao: maybe it is the 8 years that passed since then but I wish my hair was less "done". Otherwise we had a great time and since we got married on New Years Eve people still talk about the great party :love-retry:

[emily]

I would not change anything about our wedding. I only wished I enjoyed it more and actually got to eat some of the food. We spent sooo much time (and money) on the menu and I dont think I ate any of it.

That and I wish I hadn't stressed about all the details.

[pb&j]

We eloped. My dress (on sale from Ann Taylor), DH's clothes, officiant, photos, and dinner cost about $400 altogether.

We have a friend who's ordained over the internet and was willing to marry us, or just sign the marriage license if we didn't want a ceremony, and I wish we'd taken him up on it. Our officiant was kinda creepy, but at least it made for some good stories later! And his wife took the pictures, which are not good, so I wish we'd spent some money on a photographer.

Other than that, I would not have changed a thing. It was exactly what we wanted, and I have no regrets whatsoever about eloping.

[weech]

I wish I was skinnier. I was so annoyed with all the girls my age that starved themselves before their wedding that I just said "F it" and pigged out. Now I hate the pictures because I was huge! :eek:

I also wish the florist would have done my bouquet as I asked (cascading). Other than that, it was basically perfect.

[dogmom]

I had two weddings, bigger one the first time around, but still did it very cheaply with a $75 dress from Filene's Basement. (It looked great) The only thing I did spend decent money on was a photographer. I spend $7 on my second wedding dress, looked good also, and it was less formal. I had a friend take pictures, I only have a few and didn't get the negatives, sort of regret that, but not enough to care. I only have 4x6 pictures, I'm sure I could take them someplace and get larger pictures made from them. My brother got lost, long story, because my husband left him behind to drive my car (planned) but did not give him directions (unplanned), but somehow he found the place. My MIL had someone bring a 6 foot golden plaster sphinx to the outdoor shabby chic wedding. And she had me arranging ugly gladiolas (which makes me think of funeral baskets) to put out on disco whorehouse mirrored columns outside on this quite country home on a lake. And she spent more time than me getting dressed and wore a Kimono. However, although these things stressed me out at the time they are the best stories to tell, so I'm glad they happened. "Oh, well, did your MIL bring a 6 foot golden half woman half lion to your wedding?" :)

I do wish I hadn't cheaped out and we had gone somewhere very nice for our honeymoon, instead of just up to a house in Maine we had already rented. We were dating for one month before getting engaged. We were going to get married the following summer at a big wedding, but I talked my DH into moving it up and having a smaller wedding a year earlier so he could spend more money on a car.

[luckytwenty]

My parents eloped and had a disastrous marriage. Using faulty logic I wanted a traditional, large wedding because I thought that would be better "luck" for our marriage. 10 years later, when I think about all of the things about our wedding that were "forced" (including asking a cousin who hates me to be a bridesmaid because my grandmother wanted me to, and putting up with my dad's horrible behavior just to have a "father of the bride" at the event) I wish we'd just gone on a mountain top and gotten married alone!

I did love my dress. And my amazing groom. And a lot of people there. It was a beautiful wedding. But the amount of stress and "faking" involved makes me sick when I think about it now.

[MamaMolly]

I sincerely wish I'd had more fun. I was so wrapped up in doing things 'properly' and reading my Emily Post book like it was God's Gift to weddings, I really didn't have much fun.

I would have also insisted that we pay for it ourselves, because then I wouldn't have had my father's creepy friends at my wedding.

I would have also had food WE liked instead of trying to please everyone in the families and ending up with nine billion mini quiche (my mom and sister) and eleven billion sweet and sour meat balls (FIL- who didn't eat them, apparrantly he was just effing with me when he insisted we have plenty. )

LOTS more booze. LOTS.

[JTsMom]

I'm pretty happy with the way mine worked out. I was really sad that several family members weren't able to make it. It was a tiny destination wedding, so their absence was a big deal. The flowers were a little disappointing- the florist didn't do what I asked him to do. I also wish I would have done my hair the way I really wanted to.

[hellokitty]

I wish I was skinnier. I was so annoyed with all the girls my age that starved themselves before their wedding that I just said "F it" and pigged out. Now I hate the pictures because I was huge! :eek:
.

I wish I was skinnier too. However, you know what? A lot of girls I know who dieted heavily before their wedding, ended up gaining a lot of wt afterward. Like my sil gained probably 30 lbs the first yr she got married, since she had starved herself for the wedding. I'm actually lower than my wedding date wt right now and losing more. I wouldn't want my wedding day to be the time of my life where my wt was it's lowest in my adult life, that's kind of peaking too early if you ask me.

[khalloc]

I would have skipped the full open bar that ended up costing DH and I over $5,000 and just gone with open bar for cocktail hour and then maybe just beer and wine for the rest of the night.

I also would have maybe gotten a different dress, or insisted that mine be more tailored. I ordered a size 14 dress ( i was about a 10 or 12 when I ordered it, but you know those dresses run alot smaller) but got down to a size 6 for my wedding day. I think the bodice of the dress was too big.

[boolady]

Not much. I don't think that now I would chose the same dress, but that's just the benefit of another 9 years (to the day!) of realizing what necklines work best for me.

Everything else went very well, and was totally us. We made sure we got to taste all of the food, mingle with everyone, drink, dance, you name it. There are a few things that still irritate me that my FIL did, because he just can't help himself, but I couldn't actually change those things or prevent them from happening short of barring his attendance, which I would never have done.

[weech]

I wish I was skinnier too. However, you know what? A lot of girls I know who dieted heavily before their wedding, ended up gaining a lot of wt afterward. Like my sil gained probably 30 lbs the first yr she got married, since she had starved herself for the wedding. I'm actually lower than my wedding date wt right now and losing more. I wouldn't want my wedding day to be the time of my life where my wt was it's lowest in my adult life, that's kind of peaking too early if you ask me.

I was actually thinking about this the other day :) Most of the people I know who were super skinny on their wedding day are now much heavier and don't take great care of themselves. I'm 50lbs lighter, so I guess I can't complain! I take it back! :ROTFLMAO:

[crl]

Not much. I don't think that now I would chose the same dress, but that's just the benefit of another 9 years (to the day!) of realizing what necklines work best for me.

Everything else went very well, and was totally us. We made sure we got to taste all of the food, mingle with everyone, drink, dance, you name it. There are a few things that still irritate me that my FIL did, because he just can't help himself, but I couldn't actually change those things or prevent them from happening short of barring his attendance, which I would never have done.

Happy anniversary!

Catherine

[candaceb]

Overall, I was really happy with our wedding. My mom and I managed to work together pretty well to plan things and all of my DIY projects worked out.

Two regrets I can think of:
- not hiring a videographer. Our DJ (who was also our dance teacher) was supposed to video our first dance and he never gave us the disk.

- not spending money on a decent crinoline. I had no idea how miserable a crinoline could make a person when it is 85 degrees and 99% humidity outside. I got a cheap one and it was all plastic and polyester. I wish I had gotten a fabric lined one that would have been more comfortable.

[tiapam]

I would not have invited the people whose names I could never keep straight. And that would have left room for some people I should have invited.

I would have insisted on paying for my mom to have her hair and makeup done.

I would have used a different florist. She was kind of mean and crabby!

In hindsight, I am pretty sure the DJ took the job knowing he would not be able to do it because he already had a gig or whatever. I don't think he even called to tell me. He sent a replacement named Dusty who said the original DJ was sick. During dinner Dusty played one of the songs I had requested NOT to be played.

Otherwise it was pretty good. We paid for much of it, but both parents contributed.

[hellokitty]

In hindsight, I am pretty sure the DJ took the job knowing he would not be able to do it because he already had a gig or whatever. I don't think he even called to tell me. He sent a replacement named Dusty who said the original DJ was sick. During dinner Dusty played one of the songs I had requested NOT to be played.

.

Lol, I HATE, "Girls just want to have fun," and not only did my stupid DJ play it once, but TWICE. He got annoyed that I had a, "do not play" list.

[WolfpackMom]

I would have a videographer. The music at our wedding was done by our friends singing and playing guitar, piano, even trumpet. I do wish I had that on film.

I also would put cap sleeves on my dress.

Otherwise it was just amazing. The things that went bad (IL family drama) couldnt have been prevented no matter what I did so there is no point being sour about that. :)

[pinkmomagain]

I have to say that I am really happy looking back on my wedding and wouldn't change anything. OK, maybe the color of the mh/bm dress (salmon pink)...but it's just due to my taste changing, not be cause I was/am unhappy with it.

[boolady]

Happy anniversary!

Catherine

Thank you!

[rolypoly27]

We had a great time at our wedding and our friends still talk about it to this day. We paid for the entire wedding out of our (mostly my) pockets so all our decisions were chosen very carefully and within budget. We had almost 200 guests, almost half of whom were family and friends of the parents. We did have a hefty alcohol bill at the end of the night which went over budget (we hosted an open bar all night), but it was worth it to us. The only things I would have changed are my hair & makeup and my choice in bridesmaids. One of them was a family relative who caused a lot of drama and ruined my bachelorette party.

[KHF]

I loved everything about my wedding, except the photographer. We used a family friend who is a "traditional" style photographer, so I missed out on a lot of the photojournalistic style photos that I've seen from other people's weddings. It's the one thing I tell people when they're planning their wedding not to skimp on.

I've learned my lesson though, and when my kids were born, I made sure both of them got a newborn session with a professional photographer. Those are some of my favorite pictures.

[hillview]

I wish we had video recorded it (or even audio) the toasts people did were awesome and I can't remember them :(