S/O Holiday hosting: How to be a relaxed hostess at a party?

[ourbabygirl]

We're having a party at our house this weekend (about 30 people in attendance), and I want to prepare myself as much as possible so I can be as fun and relaxed of a hostess as I can be. :)

I've got my lists of things to do before the party, groceries to get, activities to set up, and want to hear your tips on making it a great, fun party that our guests will enjoy. I'm usually so busy attending to everyone- replenishing food, making sure kids have something to play with, etc.- and our kids (ages 1 & 3), that I look a little like a chicken running around with its head cut off. ;) I really don't want it to come off that way, though... can any of you laid-back mamas give some suggestions?

Thanks so much!

ETA: It's a Halloween party, so we also need to finish decorating the house, getting our costumes ready, etc.

[mmsmom]

Do everything ahead of time... Have all the food/drinks out so people can help themselves. I would consider hiring someone to help replenish food, drinks and keep on top of dirty plates/cups. I think that is truly the only way to avoid being the one running around. I have hired a neighborhood teenager to do this type of thing before.

[Giantbear]

I will tell you the same advice i give brides before their wedding. Do all of your prep work, do all of your planning, review that you have everything in place before the event, and then just go with the flow of the event and accept that there will be things that happen that you did not plan for. Control is an illusion and perfection is unattainable, once you accept these facts, life is a whole lot easier. And if you realize while cleaning up that you forgot to put out a dish or that the ice bucket went empty for awhile, it no big deal, people will survive and probably wont even notice.

[hellokitty]

I am the same way, I feel like such a spaz when I have to host anything, I can't sit still and I'm constantly doing something or checking on something. As others said, have as much prepared ahead of time as possible. I would also ask a couple of close friends if they could help you with setting up or put them in charge of keeping an eye on certain things (activity center, food station, etc.) so you aren't doing all the running around to see how things are going. I hope your party goes smoothly and hope that you get a chance to enjoy it. I feel like I have yet to fully enjoy anything I've ever hosted, b/c I'm so type A about being a hostess.

[pinkmomagain]

Make a list of all the food you want to put out and all the activities you want to do with approximate times so that you can refer to it and not forget anything.

If it's within your means it's always great to have an extra set of hands to replenish and throw out. I know my sister usually pays her housecleaner to help out. I paid a professional for last year's holiday party. Or I bet even a neighborhood teenager could be helpful (and cheap)!

[boolady]

Do everything ahead of time... Have all the food/drinks out so people can help themselves. I would consider hiring someone to help replenish food, drinks and keep on top of dirty plates/cups. I think that is truly the only way to avoid being the one running around. I have hired a neighborhood teenager to do this type of thing before.

I've never hired anyone, but I would consider it. Otherwise, try to just go with the flow, have everything ready ahead of time, with a list of food items, the trays or plates they go on, list of everything else you need, everything that may need to be replenished from time to time, like ice, and let people have at it. If you want to relax, do a buffet or hors de ouvres spread with a drinks bar where your guests can help themselves and let them help themselves-- they will. Have a trash can or two apparent and accessible, and have a drink. I always find that I worry less and start fussing less after a nice cocktail with friends. ;)

[Simon]

Delegate!

I put Dh in charge of most things (after I do planning/prep) because he is a better host that I am by a long shot.

I also have no trouble asking a very good friend or two to be the one to keep an eye on the drinks/napkins/plates/cheese plate/? (would you mind occasionally checking the punch? there is extra in the fridge and I would love it if you could refill as needed). I have done the same for other friends and since it isn't a big task, haven't minded at all.

This frees me up to really focus on conversations with friends or be involved with my children, without being the go-to person for every little thing.

In fact, it drove people nuts but Dh was in charge of most wedding day events. People asked me and I just pointed them in his direction with an "I don't know, Dh is in charge of that."