Why am I such a crybaby, help!

[mariza]

For as long as I can remember, I have had the embarrassingly unique ability to cry for no reason. Hallmark commercial? Check! Someone yell at me? Check! Sad country song? Yup. You get the idea.
It was embarrassing enough as a kid and a young adult, but now it's downright ridiculous! I've gotten all red and my eyes tear up when I was getting my work evaluated/ performance reviews. And they were always good, when I was working I was consistently a "meets or exceeds expectations" employee. The tearing up was awkward for me and my superiors during performance reviews. Now that the kids are in school, I find it happening when when I meet with their teachers when discussing their performance.

I've been treated for depression in my 20's and PPD when DS was an infant, but I don't know what the deal is now. I don't feel like it's depression at all and like I said, this has been happening my entire life. It's almost like anxiety or an invasion of privacy when I have to sit and talk to these people. Weird for someone who used to be a tour guide and has no problem speaking to anyone under other circumstances. For example, last week I sent a note to school with DS asking his teacher for a speech evaluation. The School speech therapist just emailed me asking for some background on why I want an evaluate and I was tearing up while sending the email. WTH is wrong with me?

[Melanie]

I'd love to know. Any tips people have (other than look up to the left for a righty and up to the right for a lefty) to stop it are much appreciated. I can hardly speak in parent meetings at school without getting all emotional - if the topic is good or bad! I nearly cried at work once when I tripped and fell on my way in and was called into the 'safety office' to make sure I was okay or needed to go to the hospital. Okay, yes it was embarrassing but SO nothing to cry about! Thank Goodness someone passed out elsewhere and they had to end our meeting.

Anyway, I didn't want you to feel alone and hope someone has some suggestions.

ETA: I put up with a lot of crap in my youth from bullies and almost never cried! As a teenager I'd mostly only get emotional (which left me practically mute, that was embarrassing) when really enraged about something. This actually doesn't happen any more (knockonwood). Perhaps we've all surpressed for too long and just need one good long weekend sob fest to be normal. LOL.

[DietCokeLover]

I am the same way. I cry at happy, sad, mad, etc. It's annoying!!!

[KHF]

No suggestions, but just know you are not alone. The *same, exact thing* happens to me in the exact situations you referred to (i.e. good performance reviews, teacher meetings). I really did just think I was crazy.

[KLD313]

I'm like this too. It is so annoying and embarrassing. I just acknowledge it and laugh while saying idk why it's happening.

[overcome]

Me too. My emotions are very close to the surface. My father is the same way. It's annoying.
(((hug)))

[ArizonaGirl]

Honestly, i am just glad that I am not alone because I am the same way. Parent teacher meetings, evaluations at work, sad song, tv program, etc.

It is really hard, and embarassing...

[PunkyBoo]

Same here! Teacher meetings (or work performance meetings back when I worked) are triggers. But I also cry whenever we sing in church - I've had that problem my whole life too - I even cry at live performances, whether it's my kid's class singing holiday songs or when I would sing in the choir when I was a kid. I can usually control it to just a LARGE lump in my throat at church now, or I have to stop singing along and think about something else, but for some reason singing performances have ALWAYS gotten to me. Oh, and seeing people get hurt or need help. Like last year I saw a kid climbing on the outside of a shopping cart while the mom was looking for something in the freezer at Trader Joes, and the cart fell over on the kid. the kid was ok, the management of TJ's took care of everything and veryone was fine, but I got in the car and cried and cried again when I told DH about it hours later.

The morning of my wedding (when ironically, I did NOT cry I was so calm and sure!) someone gave me lemon drops and said to pop one in my mouth if I felt I was going to cry. I've heard that sucking sour lemon drops will help stop the tears from flowing... maybe I need to keep some in my purse when we go to church!

[mariza]

The morning of my wedding (when ironically, I did NOT cry I was so calm and sure!) someone gave me lemon drops and said to pop one in my mouth if I felt I was going to cry. I've heard that sucking sour lemon drops will help stop the tears from flowing... maybe I need to keep some in my purse when we go to church!
I will try this, it's funny, iwas the same way on my wedding day! Confident, ready to go, no tears. But at other people's wedding, forget it! It's funny you mention the singing too, that happens to me a lot. I was practically sobbing in church last week when they sand Amazing Grace, of course it doesn't help that DD's name is Grace so it has a double meaning for me :p

I love that I'm not alone in this, but what are we going to do about it? Honestly, I'm ready to try meds if they can make it stop, but I don't know who to call. We switched insurance recently so I don't even have a PCP. Do I start there, or try to go right into finding a therapist? I'm pretty sure I don't need a referral for therapy.

[elbenn]

Maybe at least for the performance reviews it was a nervous reaction. I saw an interview with Julia Roberts where she said she has a nervous reaction where one of her eyes tears up and so when she walks the red carpet or whatever, she is often dabbing at that eye because it tears up. Maybe you could explain to people in situations where you might tear up that it is sort of a nervous reaction or a reaction when you are really focusing on something, kind of like when someone is a nervous laugher and that might make it less awkward for the other person.

[Kymberley]

Same here! Teacher meetings (or work performance meetings back when I worked) are triggers. But I also cry whenever we sing in church - I've had that problem my whole life too - I even cry at live performances, whether it's my kid's class singing holiday songs or when I would sing in the choir when I was a kid. I can usually control it to just a LARGE lump in my throat at church now, or I have to stop singing along and think about something else, but for some reason singing performances have ALWAYS gotten to me. Oh, and seeing people get hurt or need help. Like last year I saw a kid climbing on the outside of a shopping cart while the mom was looking for something in the freezer at Trader Joes, and the cart fell over on the kid. the kid was ok, the management of TJ's took care of everything and veryone was fine, but I got in the car and cried and cried again when I told DH about it hours later.

The morning of my wedding (when ironically, I did NOT cry I was so calm and sure!) someone gave me lemon drops and said to pop one in my mouth if I felt I was going to cry. I've heard that sucking sour lemon drops will help stop the tears from flowing... maybe I need to keep some in my purse when we go to church!

Did you just describe me? I think you did! :D I cry at singing performances, when my dad fills in for our preacher (he cries sometimes, too), basically everything you said. My sister sings solo at church a lot, and I can never look at her, or anyone, while she/they are singing. I will bawl like a baby. They always say something to me afterwords, too! As if I'm not embarrassed enough! I'm just super sensitive. Usually I'm okay with it, unless I'm not wearing waterproof mascara!

[lovin2shop]

Oh, I feel so relieved after reading this post. I just got off the phone for a short conference with DS2's preschool teacher. Just a run of the mill, everything is fine to start the year conversation, and my mascara is running. Thankfully it was over the phone and I did a reasonable job at keeping my voice steady. I tear up just about every time I'm in DS1's elementary school, and I've even learned to stand near the door at performances so that I can make a quick exit if needed. He knows well enough that I'm going to cry, and he'll whisper "deep breaths, mom!" when he sees it start. Oddly, I rarely cry at serious moments when it would be appropriate, mostly just at run of the mill stuff like commercials involving kids, school performances, etc.

If anyone can come up with a solution, my kids and DH would be very grateful!

[mariza]

I just welled up reading your post!

[YouAreTheFocus]

I am so glad to learn that I am in such good company! I am exactly the same as you guys...I cry at performance reviews, parent/teacher meetings, if someone speaks firmly to me, on and on. Totally annoying. Wish I could turn it off.

[JoyNChrist]

I'm the same way. I also tend to tear up when laughing, even when it's not something particularly funny and I'm not laughing very hard.

No advice though. I have noticed that it seems to get a little better every year, so maybe I'll eventually grow out of it?

[mariza]

No advice though. I have noticed that it seems to get a little better every year, so maybe I'll eventually grow out of it?
maybe you will, I'll keep my fingers crossed for you :) at 38 with no sign of stopping, I fear it will get worse with age for me! Did anyone see Celebrity Apprentice with Meatloaf last season? He suffers from the same problem. DH started calling me Meatloaf and he would get great joy out of guessing who would cry over something first, me or Meatloaf!

[alirebco]

I've always been the same way - in elementary school, I was a crybaby and to this day, I cry very easily. My sister is the same way and so was my dad so I think it's just how we operate.

But I'm glad to know I'm not the only who gets emotional at everything. But fwiw, I didn't cry at my dad's funeral - it must have been from the shock or just knowing it was coming. But I couldn't believe I didn't cry knowing how emotional of a person I am.

[BabyMine]

I was like that but I also had depression so I am on Lexapro. The crying spells did stop.