Please remind me - what is so great about a "home cooked" meal?

[elektra]

Last weekend I made a lot of effort planning out the meals for the week. I looked up recipes (nothing fancy) and I cooked dinner every night this week, trying new stuff every night except one. My kids watched tv the whole time I cooked, which I don't love, but it was the only way I could get it all done.
Then tonight, I ordered pizza to be delivered. I was able to play with the kids instead of rushing off to the kitchen. We had a picnic in the family room, and it was a lot of fun. It was a stark contrast to the whining, crying and spitting out of the food I made during the week.
And then tonight, I admittedly was fishing for recognition from DH, and said something like, "why do I try again?" I was hoping for either a "it was great! I really appreciated it! It's great for the kids!" or a "you shouldn't kill yourself. It's only food. I was fine with the same old stuff."
Instead I got a request to move out of the way of the TV. Suffice to say I was pissed.

Seriously though, what is so great about home cooked food? Is it the lack of preservatives? the lower cost? The knowledge and satisfaction that you prepared it yourself?

I got totally pumped on the recent posts about once a month cooking and I even bought the book. But I'm wondering what the net benefit really is.

[TwinFoxes]

I am not a lover of cooking. At all. But I really want DDs to eat healthy food, and get in the habit of eating healthy food. Where I live now, all the takeout options serve crap. It's also cheaper to cook at home. Keeping DDs occupied is a challenge, but sometimes they "help" on the learning tower. I use the crock pot a fair amount, and start it during naptime or when they're eating lunch.

I would have been mad and hurt if I were you. Like really hurt. One time DH came home late and chose to eat mac and cheese from the blue box instead of my chili. :31: I was totally insulted!

BTW, have you tried TJs pizza dough? It took us a few times to get the hang of it, but now DH is a pro and we make pizza together. The girls play with little balls of dough. It's fun.

[citymama]

Definitely healthier, cheaper, IMO tastier if you're a decent cook. But don't kill yourself - there, I'll say it, even if your DH didn't. Find a balance that works for you, and get your DH to help!

My DH is a home-cooked meal nut, and if he had his way we'd eat every single meal at home or from home - even though he loves eating out. He is a good cook and really fast at it. I enjoy the taste of home cooked food, but I'm not as rigid about it - if he's working late and we don't have anything ready, I'd rather take the kids out to a good local pizza place (or order in) than stress out cooking. But yes, most nights a week we eat home-cooked food, the kids see us preparing it and know that's where food comes from, they sometimes help, and they almost always seem to enjoy the food.

I developed a love of good food from having parents and grandparents who put love and energy into cooking great food, and I'd love to pass it on to my kids. But you know what? My mom and grandmom weren't trying to do all the things I'm trying to do, in a nuclear family with no help. So I need to cut myself slack, and I do. You should too! Kudos to you for going the extra mile all week, and know that over time, the awareness and appreciation *will* seep in to the kids' brains! And again, get your DH to help!

[Nyfeara]

For us it's healthier and cheaper if we just cook at home. We do a good amount of prepping stuff for the freezer too. My parents weren't too into cooking, so I went away to college not really knowing how to do anything except to use canned and boxed stuff. I don't want DS's to be in the same boat. DS1 always asks to help, so he cleans and de-stems button mushrooms, peels garlic, etc. He is also much more willing to try new things when he's helped make them.

We had a produce market open up recently and it has great prices for things for like mushrooms ($3 for 2lbs), broccoli florets ($2 for 2lbs - no cutting for me!), ginger ($1.50 for 2lbs), red potatoes ($2 for 5lbs). We'll use the produce we buy there for our meals for the week. We also have a local butcher who has filet mignon for $6.99/lb - regularly, not a sale price. His meats tend to cook up better and cost a whole lot less than the regular grocery store. So, we've trying to cut our grocery bill by using both of these places for our weekly meals.

It also helps to keep us out of the grocery store a bit more, which means purchasing less junk food. Now I can just go grab breads, dairy, some frozen foods and be done - less likely to spend time in the other aisles buying stuff we don't really need.

[Melaine]

Health benefits and it's too expensive to eat out all the time. But we still do it way too much because I agree, cooking is a big PITB. I have to admit, I get frustrated because it's apparently not DH's habit or inclination to say thank you or compliment a meal in any way. Since I have become an adult, I am not sure I have ever eaten a meal cooked by a family member or friend and not complimented or thanked them for it. For me, it is simple etiquette. If we go to my parents I thank my mom for cooking. I do so because she is a great cook, she makes very healthy meals which makes me thankful, and I'm thrilled that I didn't have to do it myself.
I am not sure why I can't get DH to understand this, it is really basic. I buy the food, prep the food, cook the food, and serve it. And he eats it completely without comment most of the time. My other pet peeve, while I am sharing, is that when I say dinner is ready, he takes his sweet time coming. And that makes me super annoyed. Sorry to hijack! For some reason this struck a nerve!

[KrisM]

I"m sorry you did all that work and didn't get any recognition for it.

I think eating at home is easier, healthier, and cheaper. I do not make a new dish nightly or even weekly. I try to make something monthly though. We have our standard items that are quick to make and that most of us like. Maybe instead of cooking every night, you pick 1-2 nights a week and go out the others?

[mommylamb]

Sorry your DH wasn't appreciative. I can't imagine actually doing all the cooking every night after work. That's a ton of work. DH and I do usually eat in, though we order pizza once a week usually, but DH does most of the cooking. I always make sure to complement him on it even if it's just very simple stuff. DH is a much better cook than I am. I sometimes help him chop, but sometimes I just play with DS while he does it. In our case, DH doesn't want me to do the cooking (I'm sure this speaks a lot to my lack my of skill here). When I try to help he tells me to get out of his kitchen.

[hellokitty]

I can see why you're annoyed. If the family doesn't appreciate it, I'd be annoyed as well. Maybe have your DH make a homemade meal and then HE will understand how much work goes into it and will appreciate your hard work and effort.

[crl]

I understand completely. Dh is very seldom here for meals. He doesn't want to eat leftovers. So basically he doesn't eat my cooking. My ds is picky and prefers things like Mac n cheese out of a box. Dd is only 19 months old. So cooking is a thankless task around here. I make some effort at least a few times a week because it is cheaper and healthier than eating out or eating out of Trader Joe's freezer case.

(Oh and on the rare occasion dh is here for meals he doesn't come to the table when the food is ready either. Pisses me off no end. )

Catherine

[arivecchi]

Do what works for you.

I am not a big fan of cooking. The kids eat quick home-cooked meals prepared by the sitter and DH and I eat whatever. We order lots of food on the weekend. I am not going to spend my free time on weekends and evenings cooking. Not gonna happen.

[elektra]

I understand completely. Dh is very seldom here for meals. He doesn't want to eat leftovers. So basically he doesn't eat my cooking. My ds is picky and prefers things like Mac n cheese out of a box. Dd is only 19 months old. So cooking is a thankless task around here. I make some effort at least a few times a week because it is cheaper and healthier than eating out or eating out of Trader Joe's freezer case.

(Oh and on the rare occasion dh is here for meals he doesn't come to the table when the food is ready either. Pisses me off no end. )

Catherine

This is pretty much our situation. DH also doesn't come to the table on the weekends. He doesn't eat the food i make a lot of the time too, but he also never complains.
I know this is kind of a bitch too but i am truly wondering what exactly the big difference is between something out of the TJ's case and something you made and froze yourself. Is it the price? What is less healthy about the TJs frozen stuff (in general)?

[elektra]

And thanks for all of the specific grocery advice and/or commiseration. :) I think trying one new thing every two weeks is probably a better plan. I can see how by cooking at home I could use less butter,oil, cheese, etc. but I am still looking for other examples of exactly what constitutes "healthier" if you've got any. :) otherwise, I might just go back to my packages and release the guilt!

[AbbysMom]

i am truly wondering what exactly the big difference is between something out of the TJ's case and something you made and froze yourself. Is it the price? What is less healthy about the TJs frozen stuff (in general)?

I don't have a TJ's so I don't know about them in particular but to me, the difference is in the preservatives and the number of crazy ingredients for things that I have never heard of. If you make and freeze a lasagna, you know the noodles, sauce and additions you put in. if you buy the same from the grocery store, it has a million other things in it.

This is a timely thread for me. My husband doesn't love meals made from scratch and sometimes begs me to buy convenience foods. He rather eat a Tyson chicken tender than a homemade one. And my kids prefer it too. But I would prefer my kids eat meals from scratch. but when I go through the trouble of making it, and no one appreciates it, it is REALLY annoying.

[Melaine]

I don't have a TJ's so I don't know about them in particular but to me, the difference is in the preservatives and the number of crazy ingredients for things that I have never heard of. If you make and freeze a lasagna, you know the noddles, sauce and additions you put in. if you buy the same from the grocery store, it has a million other things in it.

This is a timely thread for me. My husband doesn't love meals made from scratch and sometimes begs me to buy convenience foods. He rather eat a Tyson chicken tender than a homemade one. And my kids prefer it too. But I would prefer my kisd eat meals from scratch. but when I go through the trouble of making it, and no one appreicates it, it is REALLY annoying.

In general the ingredients list for TJ frozen items is DRAMATICALLY shorter than their other branded counterparts. That said, we don't have one either. We still eat out and do frozen stuff. I am sure I would do so with much less guilt if I had a Trader Joe's. The balance between time, health, money and taste as far as providing meals has got to be one of the most stressful parts about being a mom!

[edurnemk]

I cooked dinner every night this week,

For me, cooking only every other day or every 3 days is key. I make double or triple quantity whenever I do cook, and freeze what I won't be using to use at another time. Cooking every night is not something I enjoy, but if it's only 3 times a week I actually do like it. I also have a lot of quick and easy recipes, there's no reason to do something elaborate every night. I try to stick to 30 minute recipes.

If you're used to ordering food almost daily, then I think you could hire someone to cook for you for the same amount including groceries (i.e. they come in and make several meals, say for a week or two, and freeze them).

I much prefer home-cooked meals, because it's much healthier, much cheaper, much tastier and there's less waste. I grew up eating home-made meals from scratch every day, to me most restaurant food is not as yummy. Ordering in is more like a luxury or special thing for us, and when we do it's usually on the weekends. Oh, also when DH travels every week M-Th and eats at restaurants every day he immediately gains weight, so I think it's easier to keep a healthy diet with home-cooked meals.

[rin]

Health benefits and it's too expensive to eat out all the time. But we still do it way too much because I agree, cooking is a big PITB. I have to admit, I get frustrated because it's apparently not DH's habit or inclination to say thank you or compliment a meal in any way. Since I have become an adult, I am not sure I have ever eaten a meal cooked by a family member or friend and not complimented or thanked them for it. For me, it is simple etiquette. If we go to my parents I thank my mom for cooking. I do so because she is a great cook, she makes very healthy meals which makes me thankful, and I'm thrilled that I didn't have to do it myself.
I am not sure why I can't get DH to understand this, it is really basic. I buy the food, prep the food, cook the food, and serve it. And he eats it completely without comment most of the time. My other pet peeve, while I am sharing, is that when I say dinner is ready, he takes his sweet time coming. And that makes me super annoyed. Sorry to hijack! For some reason this struck a nerve!

Oh, wow, I think we're married to the same person! My DH does both these things (never any comment about the food and always sitting down at the table long after I've called him to dinner, gotten DD situated, and served us all). I was raised with the rule that you don't start eating until everyone's at the table, so it's particularly aggravating if I'm hungry. The no thanks thing also drives me *craaaazy*, not just because he does it but because it models that kind of ingratitude for our DD. Argh. I honestly do not get it; we've had countless conversations where I tell him how much it hurts my feelings, how I'd love it if he just said "thank you", etc, and it doesn't change. Grrrr. He's generally a very sweet guy, but apparently there's something about meals that he just can't appreciate. I suspect part of it is that he would be just as happy eating PB&J every meal for the rest of his life, so he kind of doesn't care that I've put all that effort into it; he'll eat it because it's there but if I weren't cooking he would just make himself a sandwich or maybe snack on crackers & cheese or a can of soup.

[TwinFoxes]

The big difference I find between TJs and home cooked is sodium, and fat. Their Tokyo soba noodles has 42% (!!!!) of your RDA for sodium. That's for 1/2 a cup. I bought the package thinking it'd be a nice lunch for me, i can't bring myself to eat it. I find that TJs does things like 1/2 a Stromboli is a serving. Who eats 1/2 a Stromboli? So when you do the multiplication, the fat and sodium are through the roof. I love TJs, but I label read their prepared food carefully (the soba noodles were a slip up).

But I don't think you should home cook if it's stressful and the cost isn't a factor. It sounds like it's maybe that one thing too many.

[crl]

Usually the biggest health difference for me between TJ's freezer case and home cooking is the sodium level. Most of the stuff we get there has a ton of sodium in it. There may be other differences too, but that's the one that makes me flinch, especially for the kids.

For me one of the worst parts of all of this is that I actually kind of like to cook and when we have company I often get rave compliments. But it is such drudgery when no one appreciates it.

Catherine

[elektra]

The big difference I find between TJs and home cooked is sodium, and fat. Their Tokyo soba noodles has 42% (!!!!) of your RDA for sodium. That's for 1/2 a cup. I bought the package thinking it'd be a nice lunch for me, i can't bring myself to eat it. I find that TJs does things like 1/2 a Stromboli is a serving. Who eats 1/2 a Stromboli? So when you do the multiplication, the fat and sodium are through the roof. I love TJs, but I label read their prepared food carefully (the soba noodles were a slip up).

But I don't think you should home cook if it's stressful and the cost isn't a factor. It sounds like it's maybe that one thing too many.

Good point on the sodium. I wouldn't say the cost is not a factor. It's more like I still haven't found the right balance of $ cost, the cost of my time in he kitchen, the cost of my time away for the kids, their time in front of the tv, the net health benefit of fresher items compared to the aforementioned costs,..... etc.

[mackmama]

I'm with you. I far prefer to get take-out or pop something in the microwave and keep it easy. DH likes home-cooked meals every night. I agree that it's easier to eat healthy that way because you know what's going in your food. Generally, though, food tastes better to me when I eat out - and it's certainly easier which means a lot these days.

[♥ms.pacman♥]

I totally hear you.

We used to eat out a lot, back when we had just one kid. It was relatively easy and it was nice to get out. But lately we've found that eating meals at home is cheaper and easier (than lugging two LOs, their gear, hauling them to a restaurant, ordering and them keeping them happy while we try to quickly shove food in our mouths). I think it's also a bit healthier too. Like a PP, around here, the ONLY delivery options are pizza and Chinese takeout, and those options are pretty limited as well.

However, I'd go batsh!t INSANE if i had to actually cook dinner EVERY night. It's just too much. I used to love cooking before I had kids, when i could decide on a whim what I wanted to make, go grocery shopping whenever i wanted, and had could prepare things in peace. These days, whenever I cook, DH either has to be done with work so he can watch the kids, or the TV gets turned on. That's just how it is.

This is one of the reasons I liked the Once A Month Cooking thing that was mentioned here. I had a sitter come one day during the week and during that time, I prepared the all the dishes and froze them. Then, over the next few weeks, all I had to do is decide what i wanted to eat the next day, thaw it in the fridge..then the next day i just either put it in a baking pan and cooked it, made rice in the rice cooker, and that's it. It saved me so much time because I didn't have to meal plan during the week or spend time standing over a stove every night. I'd TOTALLY rather play with my kids than listen to them whine and scream for attention while I scramble in the kitchen trying to put something together.

Oh and some of the meals I made in the OAMC are ridiculously simple... I don't think it qualifies as "cooking!" Like the last one we had, Cranberry Chicken..it literally involves taking thawed chicken breast halves, tossing a can of whole cranberry sauce with 2 onion soup mix packets over them, and baking it in the oven for 45 mins. THAT'S IT. We had that for dinner the other night and tonight (we had it with white rice made in rice cooker). I liked it (DH and DS both *loved* it), even the nanny (who came over and watched the kids last night) commented how good it was. And it was SO easy. Sure, using onion soup mix probably isn't the healthiest thing out there, but i'm sure it's better than takeout/fast food/frozen meal, and cheaper too.

[MontrealMum]

Home cooking is cheaper and healthier, hands down. And pre-DS, I used to love cooking. Now? Not so much :( It's tiring, thankless, and hard to do with DS underfoot. My DH has some health issues so it's good to have more control over saturated fats and sodium. But if we had a TJ's near us I'm sure we'd eat a ton of their prepared meals.

DS is picky and DH is, quite frankly, unappreciative. Not much motivation to cook there. If I'd been in your shoes this week I would have been mad as H at your DH :angry-smiley-005:

Some of the things that I do to make it easier is to cook ahead - I cook a "big" meat dish like a ham or a roast and then plan the sides around that for 3-4 days. That means I'm not cooking every day, but often just heating up. I also cook large quantities of things like quiche or lasagne (in smaller pans) that I can then freeze and pull out later. It's nearly the same amount of work to do 1 8x10 batch as it is 2 or 3. I don't do the crock pot thing but I also agree that that is a good idea. I really like the Campbell's and other brand tetra pack soups for adding a veggie to meals. I used to cook my own soups from scratch but I rarely have the alone time to do that these days.

It can also be good to involve DC in the cooking. We have a breadmaker and I make pizza dough in it. DS helps me cut the toppings (I cut, he puts them in the bowl) and dress the pizza. It's messy, but he really loves to do it. He will also sit at our kitchen table and color or do other art projects while I cook, and then his job is to set the table. We have a CD player in there too and I sometimes play his kid CDs.

That said, do we order out? Yes :) DS is a bit fan of Domino's, Indian and Sushi.

[Meatball Mommie]

The balance between time, health, money and taste as far as providing meals has got to be one of the most stressful parts about being a mom!

Totally agree with this!

Like the OP I had a week where, on Sunday night, I planned the whole week. Not everything was "new" but I did want to try 2 new recipes - they weren't drastically different from what we currently eat, so I though I was fine. Well, I ended up not even using 2 days worth of food and so I wasted money after all that effort! One recipe made too big of a casserole and no one wanted the leftovers, and the other day it ended up being crazy bc. of homework and a dr appt so I didn't make my planned dish. NOT worth all the effort I put in on Sunday prepping/planning and NOT even appreciated by my family.

We don't have a TJ's close enough for me to shop there regularly and our regular grocery store stinks. The best prepared stuff I can get is the frozen Newman's Own meals. I buy a bunch when they are on sale.

I totally stress about eating fast food too much - each kid gets it once a week because of our crazy schedule, sometimes 2x - then also the whole "what's for dinner thing" alone is stressful since I work full time too. Ugh - I used to like cooking, but now...meh...not so much!

[overcome]

What DHs like depends so much on how they were raised. I have friend who is a phenomenal cook (comes from an Italian Family) and her husband was raised on boxed stuff, so he could care less about home cooked.

I love to cook but only bc I have the time and my family is almost always complimentary and appreciative....esp DH.

I say ppl have to do what works for them and their family, but if you truly want to know the reason home cooked is better than store bought, watch the movie Food, Inc. or for a very quick, easy read, pick up the book Food Rules, by Michael Pollan. He is the absolute best person to explain in easy terms the benefits of food that is not processed. I don't want anyone to go on a guilt trip after watching/reading these, but I promise you, you will have a much better understanding of how the food system in America works and what processed food actually represents.

GL!

[kijip]

I love to cook. So I cook. But when I don't feel up to it, I don't have any issue with takeout tacos or thai or whatever. Or I pour us all bowls of cereal. Some nights, cereal is good.

I agree with pps- do what works for you. I find it healthier and cheaper and tastier to cook at home and I actually enjoy the process of cooking but it is not better or worse than anything else. There have been months (post-partum comes to mind) when cooking at home meant zapping a frozen meal from a friend or eating the take out tacos at our table instead of in the car. And that is a-ok.

[niccig]

My reasons are healthier and cheaper. It's also what I'm used to doing. I can whip up something simple in less time than drive to get take out, and some nights I do NOT want to go to a restaurant. I prefer to be at home in my slippers and pjs.

I have simple dishes that don't take a lot of time. I do a lot of fish, chicken, pork then sides are vegetables, quinoa/rice etc. I know DH is getting bored with same old/same old, and I do need to expand my list of quick things to cook.

DS will also eat what I make, if he didn't, then I would feel differently.

I say do what works for you - maybe cook 2-3 nights that you know you have more time, and then don't worry about the other nights.