To pierce or not to pierce

[soontobe]

Did u pierce ur newborns ears? Why or why not?

Thanks!!!

[BabyBearsMom]

Ooooh, this can be a heated topic sometimes. There are some cultural differences on this and it can get a little heated.

Personally, we do not pierce. I feel that my DD was born absolutely perfect and does not need to be changed in anyway. I also feel as though it says that in order to be "pretty" she needs to augment herself someway. When she is older and asks for it, DH and I have agreed that we will do it. But I don't want to change something on her without her permission. I do not begrudge other parents who choose to do this, and don't think of it as mutilation or anything extreme like that. It just isn't something that is right for my family.

My SIL had my neices' ears pierced and MIL frequently makes comments to me about how we need to do DD's so "everyone knows she is a girl." It really bugs me when she says things like that.

[wellyes]

No way. I know it is very very common in some cultural circles, and that's fine, I don't think it harms babies or anything like that. But I personally felt no urge to put jewelry on a newborn. To me it's kind of like the ladies who wear full make up and jewelry at the gym. It does not compute to me.

[rin]

Nope. I don't think there's anything wrong with pierced ears (mine are pierced), and I will absolutely let DD pierce her ears when she's older and able to take care of them herself. To me, pierced ears aren't so important for a girl that I'm willing to take care of someone else's.

[Melaine]

You asked, so I'll answer. I absolutely do not get piercing a newborn's ears. I know sometimes it is cultural, but I can't understand doing otherwise. I find it strange to see a baby wearing earrings. Kind of like if I saw a baby wearing red lipstick. Just seems out of place to me.

For me personally, I won't pierce until the girls are much older. Certainly not before age 12. And because of my issues, maybe not even then. I have had issues with my ears since they were pierced and when I was pregnant developed an allergy or sensitivity to metal. I haven't worn earrings in years and my holes will still get puffy and red and ooze puss sometimes. TOTALLY GROSS.

I can't wear ANY metal now, not even my wedding ring. So I'm hesitant to go there with my girls since I fear they might have similar sensitivities.

If we do it, when we do it, it will be WITH a needle, at a Tatoo parlor, not in Claires. And it will be when they are absolutely sure they want to do them and can take care of them themselves.

ETA: Forgot to mention my grandfather was an ENT. He talked a lot about all the infections from piercings that he had to treat. He was very much against it, so that has certainly colored my opinion.

[roseyloxs]

I don't see the point? Why not just wait and see if she wants her ears pierced?

[JoyNChrist]

I did not. For me it just wasn't a decision I was comfortable making for my daughter. If she wants to alter her body in that way when she's older, fine, I'll gladly take her to have it done. But I didn't feel like it was right for me to make that choice for her (we also didn't circumcise our boys for similar reasons).

I also think it looks a little strange...like lipstick on a newborn like Melaine said. Just not my thing.

[chozen]

no our dd ears are not pierced and for us we would not, imo it makes them look older.

[ZeeBaby]

I pierced DD1's ears at 6mos and DD2 at 8 mos. In culture all little girls have pierced ears so I will agree that it Is cultural and pretty too, lol.

[brittone2]

It isn't my thing at all. DD is almost 5 and has recently asked about getting her ears pierced. She dropped it after asking a few times though. I might consider it in another year or two, but really would rather wait until she's maybe 7 or 8. I had mine done at age 6 and had some issues, and then had them repierced at age 8.

I understand that some people do it for cultural reasons. I personally don't get it as an "enhancement" type thing on young babies. I prefer no piercing on very young children in my own family.

[KHF]

I fall in the "not my thing" camp as well. Melaine put it very well with the analogy to putting lipstick on a newborn. I just don't get it.

DD can choose to have them done, but it will be her choice and she'll have to agree to care for them. My ears are pierced, but I've developed metal sensitivities as I've gotten older and typically don't bother with earrings anymore.

[lizzywednesday]

I did not and it's totally not my thing. I also had bigger things to worry about when DD was born than choosing to pierce her ears!!!

My SIL, on the other hand, is Cuban, so if she'd had a daughter, she'd have had her ears pierced because that's what her culture does. (She also has cologne and other jewelry for her DS that some members of her family will specifically look for when they visit.)

I'm also starting to feel a bit reluctant about it when DD is older, not because I don't think she should have pierced ears, but because I'm concerned about a possible nickel sensitivity - DD has a nickel-mesh device to close an ASD, so I've started to be extra-vigilant about what kinds of metal she's exposed to.

[crayonblue]

I didn't pierce any of my babies. DD just got hers pierced at 7. However, if you want to do it, I personally think it is cute. :)

[elephantmeg]

not as a NB. But I'll let her when she wants to. It was a special day for me and I want her to have a special memory of it too. She's a pretty mature 3.5 year old so I think if she wants to around 5 or so I'll let her. I was 11 when I got mine pierced.

[hellokitty]

No way, why would it hurt to wait? Then she can decide for herself. My feeling is that getting ears pierced is usually a big milestone for a lot of girls, so if you pierce them for her as a newborn, she misses that. Also, as someone whose ears are pierced and who has so many allergies, I cannot wear ANY earrings, I would be hesitant to do it before the child could adequately take care of her own ears. You can get some pretty nasty infections, I would not want an infant to have to deal with that.

[chottumommy]

This is such a cultural issue. I would not pierce as a newborn but definitely before a year old. Love seeing earrings on little girls. I even have plans of piercing my son's ear soon. The earlobes have acupuncture points and the one of the effects being to calm the child.

[katydid1971]

No I didn't get my DD's (or my DS's) ears pierced. I personally don't like the way they look on babies (JMO). When DD or DS are over 13, if they want to get their ears pierced we will talk about it then and everything that is involved and we will decide then. I had a friend in 1st grade who had her earring ripped out on the playground, it was pretty gross and her ear lobe was sewn up but still had a big scar on it.

[marymoo86]

I don't see the point? Why not just wait and see if she wants her ears pierced?

:yeahthat:

it was enough to manage the diaper changes, feedings, etc without adding in cleaning ears and worrying about infection

for that's for me personally - to each his/her own

[mariza]

I did not. For me it just wasn't a decision I was comfortable making for my daughter. If she wants to alter her body in that way when she's older, fine, I'll gladly take her to have it done. But I didn't feel like it was right for me to make that choice for her (we also didn't circumcise our boys for similar reasons).

I also think it looks a little strange...like lipstick on a newborn like Melaine said. Just not my thing.

:yeahthat: all of this. But I will add I dont think twice if friends (or anyone else for that matter) decides to do it, it's just not for us. I don't need another thing on my list of things that need taking care of ;)
My Dad has been pushing DD to get hers pierced and she has zero interest. He even went so far as to buy her diamond studs to entice her (as if she has any concept at 6 yo the value of diamonds). So until she decides herself that she wants her ears peirced, I am enjoying her diamond earrings :ROTFLMAO:

[llama8]

I find nothing wrong with it, but I chose not to pierce either of my DD's ears. I want to wait until they are older. I want it to be their decision and I want them to be old enough to take care of them. I don' want to risk infection with a newborn.

[elektra]

We didn't pierce DD's ears but I plan to let her when she wants to. I plan to use it as a big reward for doing something like picking up all her toys for a year or getting good grades or something. :icon_twisted:
I like the way earrings look but it's more of a personal choice as far as I'm concerned and I'll leave that up to her.

[MelissaTC]

I would do it but I guess it is cultural for me too. Mine were done at 5 days old. I still have my baby jewelry. And I am another one that used baby cologne for M. I was lucky that my bff's MIL would bring it for me from Florida.

[DietCokeLover]

No, that is not something I would choose to do. I guess in some ways for me it's a bit of a rite of passage or something for when she is older, mature enough to take care of the hygiene of it and a privilege.

I too think it looks a bit out of place on infants and small children to see them adorned with jewelry. I like Melaine's analogy to red lipstick.

[Kira's Mommy]

No for us because (1) when it comes to babies, I prefer all things to look and feel natural and I wouldn't want to create any additional source of even minor but unnecessary discomfort/pain/infection, babies have enough to deal with and (2) I remember being very happy and proud when I got my ears pierced. I think I was 15 and it was a special event in my teenage girl life. I want her to live through this experience and remember it, not necessarily as a teenager, she can be a lot younger, I just want her to understand and really want it.


My SIL had my neices' ears pierced and MIL frequently makes comments to me about how we need to do DD's so "everyone knows she is a girl." It really bugs me when she says things like that.

BabyBearsMom, your MIL must be related to my MIL:)

[AnnieW625]

We did not. DH is half Hispanic and his mom had her ears pierced at birth. When I was pregnant with DD1 we decided that we'd discuss it when the baby was born. We finally got around to having that conversation when she was 6 mos. old and we decided at that time that if we did it DD would know they were there so we just decided that we'd wait until she was 10 (that's when I had mine done). We chose to wait with DD2 also.

MIL, and DH's grandma have never commented to us about it; I guess FILs argument with MILs family 43 yrs. ago saying that he'd never pierce a baby girl's ears at birth set them straight on that matter. Lucky for FIL he had two sons.

[Globetrotter]

I wish I had done it when dd was younger (not a newborn, however) because a lot of people gave us cute little girl earrings that we could never use (and yes, it is cultural for us). Now she is a preteen and has no interest in piercing due to an extreme anxiety about needles, though she shows an interest in earrings.

We got magnetic earrings, but those tend to come off, and she doesn't like clip-ons as they hurt.

[waitingforgrace]

No I would never pierce a newborn's ears. That said, I have never had pierced ears and didn't have any desire at all for them until adulthood and even then I still didn't do it.

[luckytwenty]

This is completely a cultural/regional thing. We moved to South Florida when DD was 7 months old, and she seriously was the only baby in the playgroups/ mommy & me classes without pierced ears! I pierced them for her fifth birthday and it was a special thing and I don't regret waiting--but I can totally understand why so many of my friends did it early since it's just the norm here. And, while your baby is getting vaccine shots she'll forget, seems like it makes sense to get it over with. I am pretty sure this is a Latin custom. I'm not Latina and not all of my friends who pierced ears are Latin either--I guess it catches on when you live in a region with such a strong influence.

[maybeebaby08]

We didnt pierce DD's earrings at birth, she was almost 3. DH wanted to get them done younger but I was against it, I'm fine with the age we did it. DD started asking for earrings and I think its a good age to not be afraid and we've had no problems.

[Green22]

I think if you do it you need to do it soon, before they are exploring and tugging and pulling their ears. Like pre-6 months. It would be like a shot for them re: pain, I would think. Also, I think it would be easier for me to clean them and make sure they don't get infected with an infant than with an older baby or toddler.

I didn't do it b/c I had some great image of DD and I going and having a big to-do when she is older (6? 7?) and getting her ears pierced. I seriously regret it!! I know it sounds silly but I think it is so stinking cute.

Not a cultural thing for me, either.

[nmosur]

This is such a cultural issue. I would not pierce as a newborn but definitely before a year old. Love seeing earrings on little girls. I even have plans of piercing my son's ear soon. The earlobes have acupuncture points and the one of the effects being to calm the child.

This is why people pierce in my culture - boys too. That said, I have very rarely seen piercing get infected in India. Probably because it is done when they are very young or maybe the method used. Also, rings rather than studs. Rings allow airflow around the piercings and keep them dry naturally.

[Jeanne]

I would not pierce that early as I don't personally care for it. I was determined to hold out till age 10 but allowed my second DD to get them for her 8th bday. She was ready and takes care of them herself. The oldest DD who is 10 does not have them pierced and has no interest.

Incidentally, I developed a nickle allergy after I had my own ears pierced at age 10. Gold (white and yellow) does in fact contain trace metals of nickle so I insisted on Stainless Steel for DD's starter set. I'm hoping that by not introducing nickle to her bloodstream, she won't develop this allergy.

Mine has finally subsided but it was a nightmare when I was younger. Couldn't wear metal sunglasses, had to coat the button of pants with nail polish. Couldn't have a single thing touch me.

DD's ears are fine so far. No problems with any type of earring she has used. Here's hoping that piercing with Stainless is the answer to prevent that.

[lovebebes]

no way :)

[mikala]

I agree that it seems cultural. Personally I wouldn't do it because their immune systems can be fragile initially and I wouldn't want to risk an infection that could lead down the fever->spinal tap route. My child was a fussy newborn and I also wouldn't want to risk anything else that could possibly irritate and disrupt sleep.

I too am concerned about nickel allergies.

[daniele_ut]

I did not have DD's ears pierced when she was a baby. I plan to take her when she's a little older.

It's extremely common where I grew up in NJ, though.

[♥ms.pacman♥]

we didn't do it with DD, but i considered it...DH did not want it. Things were kinda crazy with DD's birth and her being a preemie that was the last thing our minds at the time.

I would totally consider it now though (she's 8mos), if it was done at a ped's office or something where I felt it was clean etc.

My ears were pierced as a newborn, and I almost always wore earrings as a baby/child. I was always glad my parents pierced my ears as a baby bc then I personally didn't have to deal with getting it done later. I don't think earrings look strange or too adult on a baby..it's not like they're wearing big hoops or dangling, flashy things..a lot of the stuff is very basic (studs) or very kid-like (ladybugs, dogs, flowers, etc). IMO it's not more strange than what I see the accessories that many baby girls are wearing these days. :shrug:

and that is really interesting about the lobes being acupuncture points, i didn't know that!

[Melanie]

Nope. Not my body to decide to put holes in or unnecessarily remove things from. Dd is 6 and begging for it, though I'm not allowing it for at least one more year, probably 3. I think it will be a fun 'rite of passage,' for her when we do it and I'm glad to be able to give it to her. I very much remember it from my childhood - I think I was 11 or 12.

[mezzona]

in my culture it is the norm to pierce newborns' ears. my grandmother did mine. however, I did not pierce the ears of both of my daughters and I get questioned about it all the time. if they want to, then they can get them done later. right now, they do not need jewelry.

[tarahsolazy]

We didn't but it just isn't common in my family or geographic area.

I will let her have them done when she's old enough to do it at a piercing parlor, with a hollow needle. Never with a gun.

I have three holes in my left earlobe, and recently had the third re-pierced after it closed. I had the initial ones done with a gun in my teens. The redo was done in a piercing parlor and it was basically painless, and I had very minimal sweliing, and no pain after. The hole had been completely closed, so it was a new piercing.

There is much less tissue damage with the needle, I was very impressed!

[gatorsmom]

No way. Babies are already hard enough to care for without adding on piercings!

If sisi asks for it, she can have them when she is 7 or 8 or whenever she is old enough to care for them herself. I don't know what is recommended care for newly pierced ears nowadays. I used to have to swab my ears with alcohol e every night before bedtime but that might have changed.

[SnuggleBuggles]

I have boys but I wouldn't do it at all. My friend snagged her earing as a baby and it messed up her ear permanently. Choking hazard and just one more thing that is unnecessary, imo. I'm not of a culture that supports it. eta- I had a really strong reaction in person watching a baby screaming as they pierced her ears this summer at the mall. I forgot about that. It seemed like such a painful thing to put a tiny little baby through. I know it's quick and it doesn't hurt for long. But, watching it happen really bothered me and I couldn't do it.

Beth

[mom2beofboy/girltwins]

I guess maybe I'm not the norm here, but it's not a cultural thing for me and I did have DDs ears pierced when she was 4 months old. I had it done at merle normans. It was two adult ladies that did it at the same time and not some teen. It really wasnt any kind of ordeal and no trouble for me other than putting the ear care solution on them with a cotton ball and turning them for a couple weeks. They healed perfectly and we've never had a problem with them.

I liked that she didnt have the ability to mess with them at that age and other than a few tears when they were pierced she never seemed to even notice them after that. I figured if she didnt like them for some reason when shes older she can take them out. On the plus side, she wont have to worry about being afraid to do it i she really wants them when shes older. I know people have had bad experiences in some cases, but for us it was fine.

[Pear]

I don't support non-medically required body modification on people who can't consent. I would nor pierce ears on a child who wasn't old enough to understand what it means.

[mum-to-be]

No way, and I do not like the look of earrings on small children. Melaine put it well - it's like seeing a baby wearing red lipstick.

I actually regret getting my ears pierced at age 18. Every time I wear earrings my ears get inflamed instantly. I now no longer wear earrings. Also, I remember how painful it was and how my ears throbbed at the time, and I would not subject DD pain unless there was a medical reason.

[ijopint]

I had mine pierced when I was at least over 5 years old maybe 7. I would want to wait but who knows.. DD is almost 18 months now and is already fascinated with my jewelry esp earring. yeah, I would wait just b/c I don't want her losing earring just like me when I was kid esp gold earring! LOL

[ZeeBaby]

I guess maybe I'm not the norm here, but it's not a cultural thing for me and I did have DDs ears pierced when she was 4 months old. I had it done at merle normans. It was two adult ladies that did it at the same time and not some teen. It really wasnt any kind of ordeal and no trouble for me other than putting the ear care solution on them with a cotton ball and turning them for a couple weeks. They healed perfectly and we've never had a problem with them.

I liked that she didnt have the ability to mess with them at that age and other than a few tears when they were pierced she never seemed to even notice them after that. I figured if she didnt like them for some reason when shes older she can take them out. On the plus side, she wont have to worry about being afraid to do it i she really wants them when shes older. I know people have had bad experiences in some cases, but for us it was fine.

I am really surprised by the responses here too. All of my friends with girls have their daughters ears pierced. To each her own at the end of the day. Because of the way I was raised, it actually looks strange to me when a little girls ears arent pierced.

[dcmom2b3]

I didn't. Couldn't find anyone I trusted who would do it, and realized (one month into parenthood) that I didn't need anything else to deal with. Turning? Cleaning? In addition to latching and supply issues? No. No. No.

Her dad and I decided that we'd let her make that decision for herself when she's older.

[trcy]

Nope...like others have said too many other things to take care of. When DD is old enough to take care of it herself and wants to get her ears pierced I will have no problem taking her to have it done. My ears were pierced when I was a baby but I never wear earings. I wish I would have had a choice in that decision.

[Canna]

No, definitely not. It's not the norm here and I've never liked the look of earrings on babies or kids younger than teenagers. It looks out of place and mildly innappropriate to me. Whenever I see babies wearing earrings I find it surprising. You see it occasionally. I have pierced ears (aquired in 8th grade) and I don't love wearing earrings myself or having holes in my ears when I don't.

[buddyleebaby]

I didn't. I figure if they want their ears pierced, they will get them pierced when they are older. My ears are pierced, I had them done when I was 16 or 17.

It is the cultural norm for my husband's family and they were all disappointed to hear we would not be getting it done, because they wanted to ssend little emerald earrings for them to wear. They sent little gold bracelets instead.

[sntm]

I wouldn't do it, and I actually don't like the way it looks on babies. The main reason though is that I don't understand putting a baby through an unnecessary painful procedure, even if the pain may be transient. There is a safety risk with having earrings, also, as they are choking hazards. Also, if the kid decides she doesn't want earrings later in life, she will still have permanent holes.

The analogy to body modification without consent is good. We would never consider tattoos on a baby - why earrings?

I understand the cultural argument, but just because something is cultural, doesn't necessarily make it a good thing or excuse it if empirically it is potentially harmful.

[scrooks]

Nope...its not the norm in our area (but i do see it occasionally). I didnt get my ears pierced until i was 18 so i am going to leave the decision up to dd if and when she wants hers pierced. I also worry about the potential for babies to yank on them (or snag them) and they do seem like a horrible choking hazard to me.

[maestramommy]

We did not pierce. Mainly because it's not part of our culture to pierce newborn ears, so it felt weird for me to consider it. I got my ears pierced at 12 or 13 after one of my friends did and I begged my mom. To me it's one of those adolescent rite of passages so I have told Dora (since she is asking) that she can do it when she's a "big girl" which in our house is anywhere from 12 on up. She does know that it can hurt like a shot, so that is another barrier for her.

[Trigglet]

I don't support non-medically required body modification on people who can't consent. I would nor pierce ears on a child who wasn't old enough to understand what it means.

:yeahthat: - I didn't circ and I won't pierce. I didn't have my ears pierced until i was 15 and that was fine. I saw so many girls fiddling with them during gym class/having to wear sellotape over them etc so they didn't get ripped out etc. I have had several additional piercings since (a total of 5 in my ears and one in my nose), but now I usually only wear one pair of earrings. I think it's an interesting form of self-expression, so that makes it something to be done when one is actually aware of the consequences/impressions/responsibility etc. If my son decided that he wanted to be circumcised when he was an adult then that's his business. Same with piercing/tattooing/cosmetic surgery. It's not happening on my watch while they're minors.

[ladysoapmaker]

We did not.

As a family we have a tradition that at age 12 the girl (or rarely boy) can choose to get their ears pierced. This is because at age 12 the child is old enough to take care of their ears themselves and mom or dad doesn't have to.

Jen

[MamaInMarch]

We did not. I definitely do not feel as strongly about piercing as I do circumcision, but in the end the essence of our decision was the same: our belief that it is not our place to alter our child's body without their permission and desire to do so.

I think earrings are incredibly adorable on little girls and I would love to be able to put little birthstone studs in her ears. But my husband and I decided that our daughter's body deserved equal the respect we gave our son's.

[ShanaMama]

I didn't read all the pages but am pretty surprised at how many people are anti. I pierced DD1's ears at age one, which is not a good age to do it. She didn't have any concept of what she was getting & just felt the pain. She loves her earrings, though! I pierced DD2 when she was about 8 weeks old. I had heard that the cartilage is softer in younger babies so it hurts less. It must be true because she barely noticed. (Eta: they asked me if she'd had her DPT shot, & she had. I had both my girls done at Piercing Pagoda at the mall cuz I figured they are piercing much more frequently than the ped or whoever. I was very comfortable with the hygiene situation. )
I wouldn't say it's my culture to pierce ears, I just like the look. In fact, my maternal grandfather thinks it's mutilation & my mom still does not have pierced ears. I had to wait until I was 12 yo & begged for earings since I was around 5. I was given the argument that when I turned 12 I'd be mature enough to decide/ care for them & I really resented it.

I definitely agree that piercing a baby's ears is for the adult's benefit, so to speak, but so is dressing your child in stylish or designer clothing. I don't get the lipstick analogy. My 3 yo has adorable little heart earrings with painted enamel that an adult would never wear. It's jewelry made for a child, just like those little charm bracelets.

[swissair81]

My older girls both got their ears pierced when they asked for them (around age 3). I wasn't in a rush for either of them, so I figured that them asking was a good way to tell. I don't think it's mutilation (but then I also circed my son- although I wouldn't call ear piercing part of my culture as circ is). My baby does not have her ears pierced. She will also wait until she asks for it. FWIW, I wasn't allowed to get my ears pierced until I was 9, and I thought it was cruel and unusual punishment.

[vludmilla]

I did not pierce DD's ears buy my own were done as an infant. I would like to have DD make the decision when she is older. I don't see a lot of infants with pierced ears around here and I find it a little startling whenever I do see it.

[kbud]

I didn't pierce my girls ears and never would. First and foremost I think all baby jewelry could be dangerous, choking or getting caught on something could tear the lobe. Also, if you do pierce them do you take the earrings out whenever they sleep? I personally cannot stand to sleep with earrings in, it hurts having the erring poke my neck. I also wouldn't want to expose them to any unnecessary pain or risk of infection. My girls can get there ears pierced when they are older if they choose. My almost 8 year old thinks it's the craziest thing to want to put holes in your ears!

[kijip]

Mine were pierced when I was a baby. I love having them. My subsequent second and third holes grew in after not wearing for less than a year even though they had been in for a long time. These first ones from when I was an infant are forever and easy. I don't really see the issue with having them if you don't wear earrings- I was a tomboy as a child and did not for years and as an adult I rarely wear them but it is nice to be able to occasionally without having to wear them all the time to maintain the holes.

I would not necessarily get a daughter's ears done but I personally think they look fine and age appropriate (not like red lipstick IMO) and are not a huge risk if cared for properly. Both of my nieces have them. Personally, I see a lot of preteen girls with infected newly ears because they don't care for them well so I like the idea of having them all nicely healed up and permanent early on. I can go years with wearing any and the holes are still fine.

[mmommy]

If you're even questioning doing it, I'd suggest waiting. No harm in waiting.

[eagle]

i think babies with earrings are cute! not a cultural thing for me. and if i had a girl, id probably wait because i really dont care either way.

but i really do feel they are cute. not weird at all.

[klwa]

Nope. But mine aren't pierced, either.

[catsnkid]

I have grandparents on both sides. MIL is Italian and would have wanted a girl done at infancy, my mother thinks it is "awful" to see earings on young children and I had to beg to get it done at 11. I will wait until a DD wants it herself.

[boolady]

I would not necessarily get a daughter's ears done but I personally think they look fine and age appropriate (not like red lipstick IMO) and are not a huge risk if cared for properly.

:yeahthat: I intend to let DD decide whether she wants it done, but I don't see it as inappropriate.

[MamaInMarch]

if you do pierce them do you take the earrings out whenever they sleep? I personally cannot stand to sleep with earrings in, it hurts having the erring poke my neck.

I don't know anything about what's available for purchase without having something custom made, but the people I know that have babies with pierced ears have had studs made with screw backs. The post is threaded and the back of the earring is made to screw on. It is very secure and the back looks like a little gold ball that covers the post so there's nothing to poke behind the ear.