Daycare says DS is ready...I disagree WWYD?

[eno0609]

DS is almost 2 yrs. 8 months.

For the past week or so his daycare teachers have been telling us that he's ready to potty train and suggested that we bring underwear and lots of extra pants, which we have done. He has also been transitioning from the toddler room to the pre-school room and I get the feeling that most of the kids in that room are PT'd. They say that he has been going on the potty there when they take him and has all of the words etc. They're recommending that to keep things consistent, we also start training at home. (underwear, taking him to the potty every 1/2 hour)

Unfortunately this doesn't seem to be happening at home. Sometimes when we tell him that it's time to go he listens and a couple times he has done something. But most of the time he refuses to go... today we tried the underwear thing but he refused to go, had several accidents, didn't care that his underwear was wet, and seemed kind of proud that he poohed on the floor:applause:.

I know that it's going to take a while but I just don't think that he's ready yet even though the daycare thinks that he is....and I know that DS can act much differently at home than he does at daycare with other things. He's very verbal, speaks in sentences most of the time and will tell us after he has gone but he doesn't seem to recognize the feeling before he has to go (esp. with pee).

DD didn't PT until 2.5 months after her 3rd b-day, (mostly because DS was born when she was 2.5) but I wasn't expecting DS to PT this much earlier either. I would love for him to be PT and I don't want to sabotage the daycare's efforts and progress but I also don't want to push him at home if he's not showing all the signs of being ready. We tried this with DD and it didn't work, she did it in her own time and was pretty much trained in less than one week without any battles.

Any advise appreciated:)

[MontrealMum]

Does your daycare have a policy that children need to be PT'ed to be in certain rooms? It's not unusual for there to be a requirement that kids be PT'ed to be in the 3 y.o. room in daycares and preschools. And if the daycare has a requirement like that, they're probably pretty well versed on gauging who is ready and who isn't, and how to train kids.

My DS was about the same age as yours when his teacher informed me that she was going to be PT'ing him. She even had a schedule. It was S one week, W another, and my DS the third week. I was a little shocked, and quite frankly terrified, but she was right. DS trained in a week with what they were doing at the daycare and what we did at home. We did a sticker chart which I learned about from the moms here to reinforce it, and it was much more painless than I'd imagined.

I'd talk to your son's DCP and ask what their tips are for home "reinforcement", and how long they think it's going to take. Every single kid in the two 2y.o. rooms at our daycare - 16 kids total - were PT'ed before they moved up to the 3 y.o. room over that summer. The whole peer pressure thing and encouragement that the other kids in the room offered helped immensely as well.

[hillview]

It sounds like you have to decide if you want to go for it or don't. It sort of sounds like you don't but b/c of daycare you are sort of doing it. PTing IME is a all or nothing gig so if you aren't ready then well I'd wait. Both boys PTed around 3 years and it took a few days of commando PTing to get it done. We did it over a weekend we could basically PT full time. Unless the daycare requires you to PT for another class room or something I'd tell them what your plan is and leave it at that ("we plan to PT at home in 3 months") vs let it become a constant back and forth thing.

Good luck! It is super fun ;)

[eno0609]

Does your daycare have a policy that children need to be PT'ed to be in certain rooms? It's not unusual for there to be a requirement that kids be PT'ed to be in the 3 y.o. room in daycares and preschools. And if the daycare has a requirement like that, they're probably pretty well versed on gauging who is ready and who isn't, and how to train kids. My DS was about the same age as yours when his teacher informed me that she was going to be PT'ing him. She even had a schedule. It was S one week, W another, and my DS the third week. I was a little shocked, and quite frankly terrified, but she was right. DS trained in a week with what they were doing at the daycare and what we did at home. We did a sticker chart which I learned about from the moms here to reinforce it, and it was much more painless than I'd imagined.

I'd talk to your son's DCP and ask what their tips are for home "reinforcement", and how long they think it's going to take. Every single kid in the two 2y.o. rooms at our daycare - 16 kids total - were PT'ed before they moved up to the 3 y.o. room over that summer. The whole peer pressure thing and encouragement that the other kids in the room offered helped immensely as well.

There isn't a requirement that he needs to be PT'ed but I get the feeling that they would just prefer it. I don't doubt that they know what they're doing and that he listens to them while there....but he doesn't listen to us the same way. ITA that the peer pressure aspect and routine of having set times for all the kids is helpful. Hopefully in time, this will help him recognize the sensation of having to 'go' in addition to just giving it a try because everyone else is.

I will try the sticker chart...he's not that into them and DD lost interest when we did it with her but anything's worth a try! It's funny but DD reminded me about her sticker chart last night and suggested that we make one for DS too. The DCP thinks that it will take about 3 weeks...so I know that I shouldn't be discouraged after one frustrating day.

[eno0609]

It sounds like you have to decide if you want to go for it or don't. It sort of sounds like you don't but b/c of daycare you are sort of doing it. PTing IME is a all or nothing gig so if you aren't ready then well I'd wait. Both boys PTed around 3 years and it took a few days of commando PTing to get it done. We did it over a weekend we could basically PT full time. Unless the daycare requires you to PT for another class room or something I'd tell them what your plan is and leave it at that ("we plan to PT at home in 3 months") vs let it become a constant back and forth thing.

Good luck! It is super fun ;)

Yeah...I was hoping that DH would have started on Sat when I was at work all day (and my mom was there)...but nope:6: ITA that it should be all or nothing, so we're going to give it a try for a couple weeks at least even though I don't think that he's completely ready and hope that the re-inforcement at daycare will eventually help things out at home (I'm feeling a bit more optimistic this morning;)...off to make a sticker chart.