The Veggie Battle

[arivecchi]

Please help!

What do you do with a kiddo who absolutely hates veggies? Do you keep encouraging that they eat veggies by continuing to offer them or "force" them to try them?

I am of the opinion that one should encourage but not force. I hated veggies as a child and now eat them just fine. My dad used to force me to eat certain foods and I still resent him for doing that. DH is constantly on DS1's case because of this. The kid just hates veggies. DS2 OTOH loves them, which makes DS1 not look so great in his dad's eyes. It's a constant battle with the two of them and I am tired of it.

I bought one of the books recommended here and - to be honest- have not had time to read it and probably won't have time to read it, so I need some quick advice here. I rarely cook, so I am not going to start hiding veggies in food, which I think is a way to masquerade the problem anyway.

I was thinking of maybe trying to start a chart with stars and the major food groups to see if this would encourage DS1 to try veggies as he is a bit competitive, but is that an awful idea?

[mctlaw]

Hmmm. I don't think your chart idea is an awful one if your DS is competitive!

G does eat a lot of vegetables, prefers the colored ones over the starchy ones (maybe you remember, he will not touch a french fry!!). There are a few he does not care for. We do have a rule that you must try at least a bite of something before you decide that you do not like it. I never thought of this as forcing, but he doesn't usually give us a tremendous amount of pushback on it.

We also have a rule that if you want seconds on something you do like, you must eat some more of whatever else is left on your plate (however, if the vegetable or item is major gag-inducing to G, I do not force the issue, just using my judgment here).

One way that we have gotten G into vegetables is to involve him in the buying or growing process. We started a very small garden here and he will eat anything out of it and is extremely proud of it! However, I know you may not have time for this, but I also used this technique by taking DS to the store or farmer's market with me. I found that by having him pick the hugest portobello, tomato, etc., that he could find, he was much more likely to eat it. He also loves picking out the most unusual looking thing he can find (produce wise, I mean, not in a gross way) and trying it.

If your DS responds to charts, I can't see where it would do him harm.

[hillview]

See my other post about my 4 year old. I have forbidden vegetables. He is not allowed to eat them. I leave a bowl on the table at supper time while I go to the bathroom or load the dishwasher and when I get back to the table they are GONE. It took me 2 years to figure this out. But the encouraging of eating vegetables didn't work for me. I will say things like "these carrots are for bunny don't eat them" or "if you eat all these vegatables you will be stronger than your gym teacher so better not eat them" etc. he loves this "game" ... perhaps I am encouraging not listening to me by doing this however the bowl of broccoli is GONE before I get back so ... in this case it works.
/hillary

[pb&j]

See my other post about my 4 year old. I have forbidden vegetables. He is not allowed to eat them. I leave a bowl on the table at supper time while I go to the bathroom or load the dishwasher and when I get back to the table they are GONE. It took me 2 years to figure this out. But the encouraging of eating vegetables didn't work for me. I will say things like "these carrots are for bunny don't eat them" or "if you eat all these vegatables you will be stronger than your gym teacher so better not eat them" etc. he loves this "game" ... perhaps I am encouraging not listening to me by doing this however the bowl of broccoli is GONE before I get back so ... in this case it works.
/hillary

You.are.a.genius. :bighand:

[mommylamb]

I think a lot of people on this board would be a lot more strict than I am about these things. DS is also a veggie hater. To be honest, DH and I were as kids too, and we love veggies now. I don't usually force the issue. I might require him to take a bite if it's something I know he's eaten before and been fine with, but I don't always even do that. He likes raw carrot sticks, and I often just give him those instead of whatever veggie we're eating.

DS eats a lot of fruit, and his ped told us not to worry about him not getting the right nutrition, so long as he's eating fruit. He'll also eat low fat cheeses and meat.

In my mind, there are so many things to stress about in this world, I'm just not going to make this one of them for myself. Eventually he'll eat these things, and in the mean time, I'm not interested in getting into a power struggle with him.

[swissair81]

I don't hide them per se, I just make them for palatable. So if I make spinach, I also make potatoes and mix them together. If I am cutting up vegetables, I'll add grilled chicken or fish and dressing and we have an awesome salad. I will also admit to buying the kids pizza for supper and a salad for myself and telling them all that they aren't allowed to touch my salad. We often have a lot of pizza left over.

[TwinFoxes]

Well, D used to love broccoli, but DH wouldn't leave well enough alone and kept saying "have another bite" (because really, 5 pieces instead of 4 was so important why?) so then she wouldn't eat it at all. In other words, I think telling kids to eat something backfires. (I am really annoyed at DH about this btw.) I think in your case, DS2 might eventually pick up that hey, maybe these veggie things aren't so good, Dad's always trying to get us to eat them, but he's never trying to get us to eat more cake (that's what happened with us).

My theory is to keep serving them, and he'll try them. After finally having our pediatrician tell DH to his face to knock it off, he finally has, and D has started eating broccoli again.

Have you tried different types of veggies? Like sweet potato fries? Those are a big hit here. Also, tomatoes (I know, technically a fruit) cucumber, carrots, and kale chips are popular here. Corn, not so much.

[elbenn]

I am similar to mctlaw. I try to get DS1 to at least try something before he declares he doesn't like it. DS1 likes raw carrots--especially the big carrots that you peel, not baby carrots. So he will snack on these and so I figure he gets veggies this way even if he won't eat more than a bite of broccoli at dinner. He will also eat avocadoes, so I often have some avocado slices with our meal (I think avocado is technically a fruit but I think of it as a veggie). So if there are a couple of things your DC likes, just have those more often and just try to get him to try the others.

[AbbysMom]

Kids are so funny aren't they? My 3 year old won't eat a salad if I make her one. But she always claims to be starving while I am making dinner and will "steal" lettuce, cucumbers, and tomatoes that I am cutting up and run into the living room and snack on it before diner.

[sste]

My DS def. goes through "phases" - - he will have six months of eating a beautiful range of veggies and then a few months where he is all about chix nuggets and pasta.

I have tried to keep it low key and just offer and explain about healthy eating (I attempted an explanation of antioxidants and cancer which I said just made you very sick but I do NOT rec a cancer explanation as DS was immediately like "If I don't eat this carrot I WILL DIE?!?").

One thing I do is to offer veggies first - - I don't make it strict as in you need to eat the fruit or veggie before everything else. Instead, I say, "You get started on the broc or cauliflower or carrot sticks or whatever while I am finishing cooking or letting cool the pasta/protein/etc."

I also make alot of soups using low-sodium broth in cartons. For whatever reason both of my kids will eat all kinds of veggies in a home-made soup that they won't otherwise eat.

Good luck!

[KathyN115]

DD is another veggie hater. Actually, she might like them if I could find a way to get her to try them! But, I have backed off for now. She eats a lot of fruit and gets it with every meal. I always place the veggie of the meal on her plate but it only gets tried if she really wants dessert. I just encourage what veggies she will eat (tomatoes mostly). I also make muffins from zucchini that she loves, and she drinks V8 fusion juice occasionally.

[HIU8]

See my other post about my 4 year old. I have forbidden vegetables. He is not allowed to eat them. I leave a bowl on the table at supper time while I go to the bathroom or load the dishwasher and when I get back to the table they are GONE. It took me 2 years to figure this out. But the encouraging of eating vegetables didn't work for me. I will say things like "these carrots are for bunny don't eat them" or "if you eat all these vegatables you will be stronger than your gym teacher so better not eat them" etc. he loves this "game" ... perhaps I am encouraging not listening to me by doing this however the bowl of broccoli is GONE before I get back so ... in this case it works.
/hillary

OMG we have always done this with DS for all types of foods. Reverse psychology works great! DS is going to be 7 in 2 weeks and we STILL use this technique with him. Got him to eat an entire chicken breast this way the other day. Of course, DS now has veggies he likes and those he does not. I don't force the ones he doesn't like. I do use the "method" but honestly, I mostly make the veggies I know he does like (broccoli, sugar snap peas, sweet peas and corn).

[karstmama]

i read (maybe on here?) to put a dot of the veggies *the size of three peas* on the child's plate and no pushing. just keep offering every meal in a really low key way, and eventually they'll get used to looking at whatever and maybe lick it or mouth it or even chew & swallow.

i'm a bit more forceful with ds, because he's an excellent eater and i'll strongly encourage him to try one bit of something. i'll put it in his mouth (with a fork, no nose holding or forcing or anything cruel), but he does not have to swallow, and i do this once per thing. if he were picky, i wouldn't risk it. force is deadly to the spirit of 'trying'. the upshot is that sometimes he eats brussels sprouts without any encouragement and last night he took it out of his mouth & didn't eat a one, dangit.

[BelleoftheBallFlagstaff]

What kids eat is one of the ONLY things they have absolute power over. If we make them feel powerless and force them, they will fight us. We have her try a bite and if she doesn't like it, she doesn't have to eat it. We are Vegetarian, so I remind her that Veggies need to EAT veggies!

[crl]

I am loathe to create food battles. As long as the kid will eat fruit I'd let it go. Keep offering, but ignore whether or not the veggies also get eaten. I sneak a few veggies in. We like our hamburgers with grated carrot and diced onion mixed in to the meat for example.

Catherine

[roseyloxs]

Corn, not so much.

Don't feel bad because corn is technically a grain not a veggie. I hear Pluto is not a planet either. Craziness!

I don't push food. I try my best to serve healthy food and snacks but I don't force or even encourage them to eat any of it. I just continue to serve healthy options when they are hungry. DD eats everything. DS has become picky over the past year but has always eaten less overall. I am not worried. They are both healthy.

Serving veggies first is a great idea. I used to do this years ago and it really works. Keep some frozen veggies in the freezer and then you can quickly warm them up and serve as an appetizer.

[arivecchi]

Thanks for all the great feedback. I think I might try serving it as an appetizer and see if that works. He loves corn (too bad it's not a veggie! ;)) and sweet potato fries, but DH is not satisfied with those limited options. He does eat veggies in soup. I also like the idea of shopping with him and having him pick some thing he wants to try. I'll try to make it more fun. :) The reverse psychology idea is awesome. We may resort to that one too. Thanks again!

[maestramommy]

I try different things, but sometimes it boils down to statements like, "everyone had to eat a little bit of everything," "if you want dessert, you have to finish all your dinner, and that includes that one veggie."

I've tried roasting, raw, steamed with dip. Generally I have more success with these types of veggies than stir fry, soups, pasta sauces or chilli. Sometimes they will see me chopping, ask to try one, and end up eating several.

[brittone2]

We've had periods where they are more picky. Overall, my kids usually like some form of veggie and they always like fruit. If they are in a picky phase I make sure they are getting things like a bowl of frozen blueberries with their breakfast or lunch, or I serve that as dessert. Then I pretty much let go of any guilt. In a few weeks they are usually back to a less picky phase.

Some other things that work for us:
Somewhat like Hillview's approach: When I'm doing dinner prep I put out a tray of veggies, sometimes some dips or dressings. Sometimes i put it in muffin pans or something to make it more attractive. I say absolutely nothing. *I* snack from it while I'm doing dinner prep. Somehow they usually end scarfing some stuff down. Often a LOT of stuff. It is weird. They key IME is to NOT be invested in what haopens. I like her playful approach too.

Involving them in choosing stuff at the grocery store, or in prepping the veggies (won't work for your situation from what you describe). If they are involved in the preparation, sometimes they are more inclined to eat it IME. Prep doesn't have to equal prepping a full meal. My kids also like doing simple tasks like taking a scrub brush to carrots or sweet potatoes while standing in the learning tower.

My kids like smoothies so sometimes we add spinach to a blueberry smoothie. I don't attempt to hide it really, but it is an easy way for me to up their veggie intake.

Offering different dippers-parm cheese, hummus, dressings, sauces. Sometimes I have them help prep it (scoop into a tiny little bowl or something).

eta: we never tie dessert to veggie consumption. No more "one more bite" or "You must eat your veggies." IMO it runs the risk of making veggies undesirable and dessert really, really desirable and loaded with extra "value."

[hillview]

Along the lines of what Brit said, I also try to get the veggies on the table FIRST. So that when they sit all they have is veggies. DS1 will scarf them down at this stage and DS2 will sometimes do the same. It means they eat veggies with no other options -- this is for maybe 1-2 mins so not for a super long time. Sometimes I will let the pasta or main dish "cool" down on the kitchen counter to give them a veggie head start.

Lots of dipping sauces sometimes works for us too. I let the kids pick what veggie they want "carrots or broccoli" if they want different ones, I make both and give them both. I agree with Catherine I don't want to make food a battle so it is NEVER down to the eat this or else point. I do encourage them to try.

Another poster in another thread mentioned her doc saying to put them on the plate as decoration. I have done this with some success esp with newer items. As in DC: "mommy what is this new thing" Mommy: "oh that is just for decoration"
/hillary

[twowhat?]

See my other post about my 4 year old. I have forbidden vegetables. He is not allowed to eat them. I leave a bowl on the table at supper time while I go to the bathroom or load the dishwasher and when I get back to the table they are GONE. It took me 2 years to figure this out. But the encouraging of eating vegetables didn't work for me. I will say things like "these carrots are for bunny don't eat them" or "if you eat all these vegatables you will be stronger than your gym teacher so better not eat them" etc. he loves this "game" ... perhaps I am encouraging not listening to me by doing this however the bowl of broccoli is GONE before I get back so ... in this case it works.
/hillary

OMG - LOVE THIS! Tucking it away for future use.

Our DD1 is averse to virtually all fruits and veggies. She eats NO FRUIT. At all. (Until we started making smoothies, see below). And cauliflower is the only veggie she will eat, and it has to be covered in cheese.

I asked our ped about this (I see this mentioned a couple times upthread) and he said at dinnertime, put 3 TINY pieces of veggies on her plate. He emphasized that the pieces need to be TINY - no bigger than the size of a pea. And then to treat it as if it were a garnish - completely ignore it. When she asks about it, I will actually say "I thought it looked nice to put on your plate." or "It's just for decoration." Since we started this, DD2 has tried brussels sprouts (GASP!), tofu, and a couple of other things. She has still deemed that she doesn't like any of these things but for us it was a HUGE step that she even TRIED them! We're still struggling with expanding her palate, but for now I've been letting her have 3 M&Ms if she eats all her cauliflower with cheese. Since she likes it, it's not a problem and it encourages her to eat her veggies before filling up with other things. I don't exactly like tying desserts to veggie consumption, but it works for us and definitely makes me feel better that she's eating SOME veggies, even if it's only cauliflower.

For fruit I've started making smoothies. They are delicious, healthy, and DH and I enjoy them too:) I do let her know that it's made from fruit and she helps me make it. Interestingly she doesn't love smoothies (how can you not???) but she does eat some of it when she's in the mood. Apart from smoothies, which could qualify as "hiding" fruits/veggies, I don't (have time to) try to sneak in fruits/veggies in creative ways. She needs to learn to eat them as they are and hopefully will decide for herself one day that they are tasty.