Did you circumcise your DS?

[mjs64]

Wondering because of my son's recent infection in his intact penis (see my other thread (http://windsorpeak.com/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=417796)). Elaborate your reasoning if you feel like it. We did not because DH is not circumcised, because we aren't religious, because I've read that circumcision can detract from sexual pleasure, because, I don't know, we wanted him to be "whole." I am no expert though. Worrying now I made the wrong choice.

[niccig]

Worrying now I made the wrong choice.

I think you'll find this is just one incident and DS will probably be fine, though I understand second guessing yourself.

We did not circumcise DS. We didn't see it as necessary. I let DH do a lot of the research and he said he didn't want it to be done. DH is circumcised, so we ask here for any advice.

This topic can get pretty heated on the boards. I hope this thread stays civil so you can see that there's a whole range of reasons for our decisions, and neither are right or wrong. I also think the pendulum on this swings back and forth. Circumcision was more common in our DH's childhood. It's less common now in parts of the country. I think it's 50-50 in some areas.

ETA. I should also add that I've found the rate of circumcision to vary in different social groups. We were in a playgroup and DS was the only boy not circumcised. We would swap babysitting and some of the other mothers commented that DS was first intact penis they had seen. DS goes to a school that is non-traditional, and from conversations with other mothers, most boys are intact. We all live in same location, abotu 20 mins apart, but different social groups and different attitudes to circumcision.

[roseyloxs]

We did. I let my husband decide. He didn't do any research he just did what was familiar to him. Everything was textbook and went fine and frankly he wasn't even that upset as a newborn when it happened. However if we have another son I don't know that I will do it again.

[mjs64]

I think you'll find this is just one incident and DS will probably be fine, though I understand second guessing yourself.

We did not circumcise DS. We didn't see it as necessary. I let DH do a lot of the research and he said he didn't want it to be done. DH is circumcised, so we ask here for any advice.

This topic can get pretty heated on the boards. I hope this thread stays civil so you can see that there's a whole range of reasons for our decisions, and neither are right or wrong. I also think the pendulum on this swings back and forth. Circumcision was more common in our DH's childhood. It's less common now in parts of the country. I think it's 50-50 in some areas.

Right, thanks for this reminder. I am really not looking for a heated discussion here. But post what you will, I suppose. We just had a rough night at the ER. Thanks, Nicci.

[niccig]

Right, thanks for this reminder. I am really not looking for a heated discussion here. But post what you will, I suppose. We just had a rough night at the ER. Thanks, Nicci.

I totally understand. I would be worried and 2nd guessing myself too if we had experienced the same.

Some topics get more heated than others, and this is one of them. We all have our reasons for what we decided and we can get passionate about defending them or feel attacked by someone posting an opposing viewpoint. Circumcision, BF v FF, SAHM v WOHM are just a few threads that can go downhill quickly. That doesn't mean you can't post about them, but just a FYI that it can get controversial.

It looks like from what Goldenpig posted, that ped. cases of the infection are from diaper rash or yeast infection. My god-daughter gets a yeast infection anytime she uses bubble bath or antibiotics - some people get them more than others. So this isn't something to be blaming yourself for. I hope your DS gets better soon. It's awful when our little ones are sick.

[goldenpig]

In our case DH initially wanted him to be circumcised because that's what was routine when he was growing up, but I felt that I didn't want DS to undergo a medically unnecessary procedure (even though the risks are low, they aren't zero) or have any unnecessary pain (even though it's transient). DH didn't feel strongly about it so we ended up leaving him uncircumcised. We're both doctors ourselves and we've fully vaccinated our kids, so if it makes you feel any better, not circumcising is a very mainstream medical practice. I believe none of the major medical societies say that circumcision is a medically necessary or recommended procedure. And also we are not religious. So there wasn't really any reason to do it in our case. I think either way is fine though and totally up to the individual families. But please don't second guess yourself. I think it's more common nowadays not to circumcise. Even though he's had it once doesn't mean he'll have it again or need to be circumcised. Hope your DS gets better soon and that you get some answers/reassurance from your pediatrician!

[essnce629]

We left both boys intact. DBF is circumcised.

I just responded to your other thread.

[fedoragirl]

We had our DS in Europe and we weren't even offered the choice! No one circumcises here. I am glad about that. (Well, for my family at least. Don't want to sound judgmental).

[georgiegirl]

Whoops! I voted yes, but I really meant no.

Same situation as you. Dh is not circumcised, so it wasn't even a consideration.

[klwa]

We did. My husband is. My father is not. My father told me to get it done because of issues he's had that his doctor has said would have been lessened had he been circed. I'm glad we did. And would again.

[SnuggleBuggles]

Neither are, neither is dh, we have never dealt with infection. I feel 100% sure that it has been the right choice.

Beth

[hillview]

Both boys are as is DH. DH is a research scientist and based on research given the reduction in STDs when you are circ'ed was also a factor.

/hillary

[jren]

I voted yes. I didn't want to, DH was adamant.

[Trigglet]

No, we didn't. It's very uncommon where we're from (only really done for religious reasons) and we both felt very strongly that it was a medically unnecessary procedure (in DS's case). I know that in some cases it is medically necessary.

[karstmama]

i likely wouldn't have anyway, but just could. not. after 7 1/2 months in nicu & several several surgeries & losing 2/3 of his colon. anything i could hang onto for him, i was gonna hang on to it, kwim? i didn't have a dh/dbf to worry about his input, which made it easier, and my father is not.

and it's decreasingly common here. he's not the only intact boy in his pre-k class of 9.

[hellokitty]

Nope, and we have three boys. DH was not circ'd and believes strongly that circing does affect sensation in that area. He also thinks that there is nothing wrong with teaching a boy (not in your situation, since you still have a child too young) to properly wash himself. He sees pts in the OR every day and says guys are disgusting. Circ'd or not, most do not have good hygiene, "down there," so he's not surprised to hear when there ends up being issues.

As an RN, I saw babies get circ'd when I was still a nursing student and knew right away that if I ever had male babies, they would not get circ'd. I know ppl say that it does not hurt the baby, even if they numb the area, but it still hurts after the procedure during the healing process, ppl forget about that part. I just don't think it is necessary to put a baby through this (Just b/c he is a boy, if it's a girl, and we did something to her genitals, ppl would be outraged, but it is seen as ok for a boy?), and to also to open up the opportunity for complications. Circs DO get botched. You don't often hear about it, but there is a ped in our family who has seen botched circs. One of his colleagues cut *OFF* the tip of a newborn baby boy's penis (not just foreskin)!!!?? I also have a vivid memory of a patient in his 60's who had a botched circ and had to have it, "fixed," and he said that it had always caused him trouble and he wished he had never been circ'd.

When it comes down to it, yes it is personal preference. Ppl feel strongly pro or con about it, you just need to figure out what you think it right. What stands out to me is that if you don't circ and need/want to circ later, that is an option. If you circ, you can't take it back, it leaves no options. Have any of my boys (or DH) have infection or yeast issues, so far? No, and if they did, we would deal with it as needed, but one case of infection would not justify circing to me. If it's a continuous ongoing issue, maybe we'd consider it, but one time, it could be the last time it's an issue, kwim?

I also feel that there is a lot of cultural bias leaning toward circ, b/c our society is still warming up to the idea that it is medically unnecessary. I think that last time I checked stats, it said it was close to 50/50, but it is also so regional. We live in an area where it is still extremely uncommon to NOT circ. I remember being annoyed after I gave birth to DS2 and the nursing student was disappointed that I wasn't circing him (she wanted to see it). I don't know any baby boys in our area who aren't circ'd, even ones from, "crunchy" families, they automatically circ. It is so ingrained into the culture in our region (midwest). It is unusual for the vast majority of the population in other parts of the world to NOT circ. IMO, you are more likely to hear about cases where someone uncirc'd, "had issues" over the opposite situation (someone who had complications from circ), since ppl are always dying to point out why circing is, "better," to support their own case, esp the older population where circing was mainstream and not ever questioned.

Oh and it hasn't been brought up, but my DH not only played a lot of team sports AND went to an all boys catholic high school, the whole, "getting picked on for looking different" was never an issue. He said NOBODY wanted to get caught checking out another guy's junk. So, he calls BS when ppl use that as an excuse to justify circing their baby boys. Most ppl I know IRL circ, due to having this fear that their sons will get teased in the locker room or that he needs to, "look like his daddy."

[trcy]

I only have DD so it wasn't a choice I had to make. Before we found out we were having a girl the topic did come up between DH and myself. I told him I would want to do alot of research to find out what is truly best; he would want it done. His main reason...he is and then grumbled something about preventing infections. I don't think he did any investigation on the topic though. I could see this wasn't going to be an easy topic to discuss so I dropped it figuring we could go back to it if we were having a boy. OP, please don't question your choice...you did what you felt was best for your child. And shame on those Dr. for trying to make you feel bad.

[lorinick]

Dh is and both boys are as well. We did think about it and read up when ds 1 was born. Since the first son I've never given it a thought. We have not had any infections.

[JBaxter]

I didnt vote because I have both. After I read the hows and whys of circing we chose not to circ any more of our son's

[daisymommy]

First son: yes, circ'ed because I just thought that's what you did, automatically on all boys. I had never read any differently.
Turns out he had a bunch of problems growing up with adhesions, irritation and redness, skin trying to grow back, and the day he had it done, screamed for an hour afterwards. It was awful.

Second son: No, intact, and so glad! I did lots of reading and research and decided it was not something I wanted to repeat.
Never had even a bit of redness or irritation, no problems at all.

FWIW, DH is circ'ed, and totally on the same page as me in this decision.

[fortato]

We did it... mostly because I find uncircumcised penises creepy and gross. Flame me if you must, but what's done is done, and I don't regret it at all.

[SnuggleBuggles]

We did it... mostly because I find uncircumcised penises creepy and gross. Flame me if you must, but what's done is done, and I don't regret it at all.

It's funny because I feel the same way about circ'ed ones.

[ladysoapmaker]

We did. DS#1 is DH's from his first marriage and DS#2 is mine from my first marriage. So we haven't had any boys together. Since DH and I got married we have talked about this issue. DH was circumcised when he was about 15 year old. He has stated that he will not willingly put one of his boys through that risk of having to be circumcised at an older age. From what I can gather, between the infection and the surgery and recovery he was in some incredible pain.

[mommylamb]

I voted one of each. DS1 is circ'd. We are not planning to circ DS2 when he comes. Personally, I do not think there is anything wrong with either choice, and it's one that I've really struggled with for both kiddos. DH is not circ'd and he is opposed to it, but went along with me for DS1. My feelings at the time were based on some of the studies about STDs and their transmission, and because, while I'm not religious, I am Jewish, and I wanted DS to have the opportunity to embrace Judaism at some point in life if he decided to do that. That's really the main reason why I worry about not circ'ing DS2. But in reality, my children are being brought up as Atheists, and it would be just as strange for them to embrace Judaism as it would be for them to embrace any other religion (and I really hope that they don't do it). DH being oppose to it really tipped the scales for me.

I do worry about the fact that my boys will "look different." And I hope DS1 doesn't resent me for circ'ing him when his father and brother are not.

As for hygiene, DH has never had a problem with his, which he points out to me all the time when this comes up. Just keep the darn thing clean, you know?

I also have a friend who had her son circ'd (he is about 16 months now) and they messed up and he had to go in for a second, far more painful surgery, several months after he was born. Ick.

So, I guess there are problems that can occur either way and it's just luck of the draw.

[KHF]

I voted wrong, I said Yes, but meant No. DS is not circ'ed. DH is. After reading up on it, we decided against it. No regrets so far. I feel like we made the best choice for our family, but recognize that others make different choices, and that's OK too.

[elliput]

Worrying now I made the wrong choice.
:hug: IMO, there is not a "wrong" choice when it comes to this subject. DS is not circ'd. DH is circ'd. Not a big deal here.

[Kindra178]

Yes, times three. DH is very pro-circ. I was less so, but found very compelling the research out of Africa which equates circ to an HIV vax. You can make all sorts of arguments stating that Africa is different than here, but the research still stands.

[wellyes]

No way.

But in your shoes, OP.... if there is a medical need, I would circ without hesitation. It is a reasonable medical procedure to do in response to recurrent UTIs or similar problems.


found very compelling the research out of Africa which equates circ to an HIV vax

Whoa, I can't get behind that. I'd read that a study in Africa found higher risk for intact men, but "vax" implies that circed men are NOT at risk, which is just not true at all.

[Kindra178]

No way.





Whoa, I can't get behind that. I'd read that a study in Africa found higher risk for intact men, but "vax" implies that circed men are NOT at risk, which is just not true at all.

That's not my language, that's the language from researchers/scientists.

Here is one of the original articles, which was published right after DS1 was born. I had heard about this research prior to September 2006:

http://www.nytimes.com/2011/09/27/health/27circumcision.html?pagewanted=all

Here is a more recent article, albeit from a poor source, reporting from a conference:
http://www.usatoday.com/news/world/story/2011-09-28/global-hiv-prevention-circumcision/50594330/1

Based on the above research, the AAP may well change its stance from its current neutral to against stance to issuing a stronger recommendation on behalf of circ:

http://blogs.wsj.com/health/2010/01/04/should-pediatricians-recommend-routine-circumcision/

(There are more specific articles that address what the AAP is currently doing on this issue but I can't find them now).

Here is the old position:

http://xtulepinoy.tripod.com/aap99.htm

http://aappolicy.aappublications.org/cgi/content/full/pediatrics;103/3/686

[Jo..]

We did.

Circumcised penises are all that I know...uncircumcised ones seem so alien to me (from pictures).

My Mom (an RN) used to harp on penises to me, telling me that intact men were abnormal and dirty and did not clean themselves well...Yeah, I know, it's a strange topic between mother and daughter. But she felt VERY strongly about it, and passed her fears and predjudices on to me.

Intact penises freak me out.

Having educated myself on the subject, intellectually I would not do it. I know that intact men are no more or less dirty than circ'd ones.

But emotionally the gross factor is still there. It is what it is. Don't flame me, flame my Mother!

[Melaine]

I am so sorry you had that scary ER experience with DS....I would have freaked out!

I am 95% sure we have decided against circumcision if this baby is a boy. As with SO many parenting choices, though, I totally see both sides of this.

Responding to your other thread, though, I am sure this was NOT your fault. I have also heard again and again, "do not retract" and I don't even have a boy!

[kijip]

Did not for our two. However, it is not something I feel strongly about either way anymore. We did not want to handle the care and recovery of a circumcised penis and I saw no reason to. I still don't.

[smilequeen]

No X 3.

FWIW, I don't think you made the wrong decision. These things happen. Girls are far more prone to UTIs and we get yeast infections, etc. not because there is something wrong with OUR anatomy, but because these things just happen. Really, the same goes for boys. We haven't had any issues with any of our boys yet, but I know it's a possibility.

[smilequeen]

Yes, times three. DH is very pro-circ. I was less so, but found very compelling the research out of Africa which equates circ to an HIV vax. You can make all sorts of arguments stating that Africa is different than here, but the research still stands.

That's not remotely true. If it was HIV would not be such a problem in THIS country where most adult men are circed.

[ABO Mama]

There isn't a good reason to circ, so all of my boys are intact.

[swissair81]

My son had a bris (the procedure is different than a hospital circ) in our synagogue when he was 8 days old. My father and fil had the same, as well as my husband and all of our brothers. My future sons will also be given a bris, as that is our tradition. FWIW though, I would not circ my sons in the hospital (or at all) if it wasn't part of my faith.

[JBaxter]

That's not remotely true. If it was HIV would not be such a problem in THIS country where most adult men are circed.

a condom goes along way in preventing aids/sexually transmitted disease. Cutting off foreskin is WAY WAY WAY at the bottom of that list.

[connor_mommy]

We did when DS#1 was 18 months old. His foreskin was too tight and after consulting with out pedi and a pediatric urologist, we had it done. DS#2 had it done when he was born.

[Tondi G]

My boys were circ'd. My DH is jewish and is circumcised. Both of my boys circumcisions were done by my OB in the hospital... no issues.

[daisymommy]

That's not remotely true. If it was HIV would not be such a problem in THIS country where most adult men are circed.

And the 2 studies that are so often propped up for this argument have come under heavy criticism for being unethically and falsely conducted. They would have never stood up here in the U.S.

[niccig]

a condom goes along way in preventing aids/sexually transmitted disease. Cutting off foreskin is WAY WAY WAY at the bottom of that list.

:yeahthat: The studies I read said the uncirced men still got AIDS if they kept engaging in risky behaviour, that is having sex without condoms.

Teaching about safe sex, using condoms is how you prevent aids/STDs

[catsnkid]

We did. I grew up Jewish though DS is not being raised that way it was sort of important to me. DH is- had no opinion. My sister is anti-circ although Jewish.. She has no kids and I don't care what she thinks. BTW my grandfather had to get circ'd in his 40's due to reccurent infections. (He was not jewish). They did show us in prenatal class how it is done and both sides of the issue.

[JamiMac]

We did. I spoke with a relative when I was pregnant with DS that is uncirced and has had problems his whole life with infections. He is very fastidious so I know that hygiene is not an issue. He said many doctors that he has seen have said he would not have these problems had he had been circed. This colored my decision as well as a friend whose DH is not circed and said he would never, ever wish that upon his sons, who they both circumcised. When I was pregnant with my middle DD in California, I had to see a urologist. I commented to him how I was the youngest patient in his waiting room. He said that actually as less people were circumcising, he was starting to see a lot younger men and boys in his practice. All of these things I considered and decided to circ my DS. We did not have any problems and I'm 100% sure of my decision.

[wellyes]

This thread is depressing. I hope things are different when our kids are our age.

[swissair81]

This thread is depressing. I hope things are different when our kids are our age.

Other people's parental choices are depressing?

[joules]

I am on the fence about this one. Things can go wrong either way. DH is not, DS is. I thought for sure we were not going to when DS was born. But then doubted myself when I kept thinking about my nephew who kept getting UTIs as an infant. He was put on antibiotics for more than a year. I am not sure if it was b/c he was not circed or not. But I just had that doubt creeping in. And then DH changed his mind and wanted DS circed. I think DH is extremely self conscious about not being circed. So I went along with it and DS was circed. But then we had some penile adhesion problems....which seem to be going away on its own now. But that leads me to not want to circ DS#2.

[Jo..]

As an aside/afterthought...and this is VERY icky.

My Mom dated in her 40s...her BF was not circumcised.

He had tons of infections and problems...(not sure if this was hygeine related). I was totally grossed out to hear my Mom talking about her boyfriend's penis, and I ignored as much as possible.

My Mom talked him into getting circumcised in his 40s...which was A BIG DEAL. Way harder than it would have been in infancy He got circ'd, healed, and no longer had any issues.

Two weeks later, she broke up with him. :47:

[ast96]

Yes, we decided to circumcise all three of our sons for what we feel are good, medically-based reasons after much research, and we have had no issues and feel good about our decision.

[MamaInMarch]

Other people's parental choices are depressing?

I really try to stay out of these discussions but I have to say something here. I know this is a sensitive topic but I was pretty offended by the "icky and gross" comment above. Yes, hearing someone describe another person's cosmetically unaltered body as icky and gross - especially when it relates to a child and normal human function - *is* depressing.

[wellyes]

Other people's parental choices are depressing?
Talking about men who aren't cut as being dirty or gross or weird looking, since a big hunk of posters here chose not to circ.

I know personal experience plays into this a lot.... I have dated men of both types and I'm sure that influenced my opinion too (that it's not necessary). When our kids are adults, I hope the popular opinion on this topic will have shifted a bit since so many boys aren't these days.

[deborah_r]

I really try to stay out of these discussions but I have to say something here. I know this is a sensitive topic but I was pretty offended by the "icky and gross" comment above. Yes, hearing someone describe another person's cosmetically unaltered body as icky and gross - especially when it relates to a child and normal human function - *is* depressing.

Agree completely.

[swissair81]

I really try to stay out of these discussions but I have to say something here. I know this is a sensitive topic but I was pretty offended by the "icky and gross" comment above. Yes, hearing someone describe another person's cosmetically unaltered body as icky and gross - especially when it relates to a child and normal human function - *is* depressing.


Talking about men who aren't cut as being dirty or gross or weird looking, since a big hunk of posters here chose not to circ.

I know personal experience plays into this a lot.... I have dated men of both types and I'm sure that influenced my opinion too (that it's not necessary). When our kids are adults, I hope the popular opinion on this topic will have shifted a bit since so many boys aren't these days.

I must have missed that, probably because I don't think uncirced people are weird (I don't have much of an opinion on look, because I haven't had much opportunity to see an uncirced penis besides my patients- and then I'm not exactly staring).

I do think mutual respect is desperately needed. Just as you are tired of hearing that there are absolute medical reasons to circ, and that uncirced men or boys are weird looking or dirty, I am tired of hearing that I have no right to my traditions and that I mutilated my son.

[Jo..]

If it is not the norm (what we see every day), it is alien. And might be viewed as icky, gross, etc. This is changing now.

In our generation (30s-40s), most American men were circumcised. That is what we know. A different penis might be yucky to many of us.

I always asked men who I was seriously dating (months and months) whether or not they were circumcised. A NO answer was a deal breaker.

I did not want to see it, and would have run screaming. I spared us both the trouble by breaking up with them sooner rather than later.

Along similar lines, I also screened out men who were WAY too into sports or their mamas.

[mommylamb]

I do think mutual respect is desperately needed. Just as you are tired of hearing that there are absolute medical reasons to circ, and that uncirced men or boys are weird looking or dirty, I am tired of hearing that I have no right to my traditions and that I mutilated my son.
:yeahthat: I totally agree. These threads always make me upset because people on both sides can be pretty judgmental when I think both decisions are legitimate decisions, and neither is wrong. As someone whose husband isn't circ'ed, I can tell you that it's not weird/gross in the slightest. I've seen my share of circ'd men from before I was married, and as a partner, I actually far prefer uncirc'd to be honest. But, there's nothing wrong with deciding that you feel more comfortable-- for whatever reason-- in circ'ing IMO. We did it with DS, and while I question that decision sometimes, I don't think it was inherently bad or that we've done him some terrible disservice.

ETA: an adult uncirc'd penis doesn't look a whole hell of a lot different than a circ'd one actually. There's a little extra skin, that's all. It's totally not a big deal.

[mommyp]

No. Easy decision for us, DH and I were both completely in agreement.

[niccig]

I really try to stay out of these discussions but I have to say something here. I know this is a sensitive topic but I was pretty offended by the "icky and gross" comment above. Yes, hearing someone describe another person's cosmetically unaltered body as icky and gross - especially when it relates to a child and normal human function - *is* depressing.

:yeahthat: We would be up in arms if icky and gross comments were about a girl's genitalia or breasts. People's body parts come in all shapes and sizes.

[JBaxter]

and my intact son has way fewer issues than my circ'd boys ( adhesions ). And that locker room thing is a huge myth. As both my older boys will tell you... MOM guys dont look at other guys junk EVER its better to miss the urinal than to look down ( THAT explained my bathrooms LOL) My dad was intact ( home birth) and my mother never had infections.

[niccig]

I did not want to see it, and would have run screaming. I spared us both the trouble by breaking up with them sooner rather than later.


Really? So he could have been a fabulous guy but the look of his penis was the deal breaker? I don't understand why women are so focussed on what it looks like. When we had this discussion I brought it up with DH and he said guys do not look at each other's penis and note the differences, they wouldn't be caught dead doing that in the locker room. I wonder if the "look" issue is more an issue with women and what they're used to seeing. Maybe it's women with the penis issues and not guys.

Circ rates are decreasing, so I don't think our boys will be penalized against in dating because of how their penis looks

[Jo..]

and my intact son has way fewer issues than my circ'd boys ( adhesions ). And that locker room thing is a huge myth. As both my older boys will tell you... MOM guys dont look at other guys junk EVER its better to miss the urinal than to look down ( THAT explained my bathrooms LOL) My dad was intact ( home birth) and my mother never had infections.

I once asked DH how many of his co-workers were and were not circ'd...I was curious.

He was HORRIFIED and informed me that men don't care and don't look!

I really don't think it matters unless someone has a stong personal preferance.

And PP was right, I would be PISSED if someone suggested mutilating my daughter's genitals.

[wellyes]

better to miss the urinal than to look down
HA! That sounds true. And it explains a lot.

[Jo..]

Really? So he could have been a fabulous guy but the look of his penis was the deal breaker? I don't understand why women are so focussed on what it looks like. When we had this discussion I brought it up with DH and he said guys do not look at each other's penis and note the differences, they wouldn't be caught dead doing that in the locker room. I wonder if the "look" issue is more an issue with women and what they're used to seeing. Maybe it's women with the penis issues and not guys.

Circ rates are decreasing, so I don't think our boys will be penalized against in dating because of how their penis looks


Yup. I admit it. That could have been the best guy ever.

SOMEHOW I got a perfect. wonderful man who is also circumcised. I don't deserve him, and I am waiting every day for the shoe to drop.

[Minnifer]

We would be up in arms if icky and gross comments were about a girl's genitalia or breasts. People's body parts come in all shapes and sizes.:yeahthat:

[elektra]

Looks like this thread is heading in the direction that these threads always do.
It's interesting to me that what is popular or "correct" now, could be totally different in 20 years. It's what I had in mind when making me decision about circumcision. My MIL had 4 boys over the course of 20 years and she made different decisions with each of them, about many things really, but also on whether to circ or not. She has a great perspective having been mothering young children for such a span of time. She told me that things are "right" and then 15 years later they are "wrong" and then they become "right" again!
IMO, we are talking about a little bit of foreskin that gets way more attention than it deserves. I too thought about this decision quite a bit with DS, and I have come to realize that it just isn't a huge deal either way, to me at least.

OP, you made the decision you thought was right at the time, with the info you had available. Maybe you would make a different decision now and that is fine too.

[JBaxter]

When I was researching it w/ Jack I was surprised how many baby boys die each year do to botched circ's. it takes like 2oz of blood loss to kill a 8lb boy. Had I known the risks none of my boys would have been circ'd No one EVER explained the risks and that babies due die from the cosmetic procedure. I was never anti circ until I read the horror stories. We are not Jewish so my faith had nothing to do with it. Wish I had all the info before I had Logan.

[♥ms.pacman♥]

we circ'ed DS. if we ever had another boy we would do it again. DH is circed. DH's grandfather was not, and dealt with a lot of infections etc relating to it, and ended up getting circ'ed as an older adult (and dealing with the pain, etc all later).

another thing for us was that I wanted DS to look like his dad. And personally wasn't a huge fan of how an uncirc'ed penis looks like. You can flame or judge me all you want. I don't go around saying how another person is wrong or whatever, this just felt like the right decision for US.

I agree with PP, there is no right or wrong, just what works for each family, each parent's personal preference.

[mjs64]

I honestly did not anticipate a heated thread, even though Nicci warned me. I respect everyone's decision and know that we all do our best to make good decisions for our children. I want my DS's body to be healthy and accepted by his peers, and I know you all want the same for your DCs. I hope no one is "grossed out" by his penis in the future, and I hope he accepts the decision I made for him. Mostly I hope his penis heals. Last night was scary. Today it looks a little better, but I'm still worried.

[Jo..]

When I was researching it w/ Jack I was surprised how many baby boys die each year do to botched circ's. it takes like 2oz of blood loss to kill a 8lb boy. Had I known the risks none of my boys would have been circ'd No one EVER explained the risks and that babies due die from the cosmetic procedure. I was never anti circ until I read the horror stories. We are not Jewish so my faith had nothing to do with it. Wish I had all the info before I had Logan.

If I ever knew thaat DEATH was even a possibility, I would not have. I had no idea.

[Jo..]

:yeahthat:

My breasts look like bananas. I WISH there was a surgery to fix that.

[MamaInMarch]

I am glad your DS is doing better today. I am sure that was scary - I know I am terrified if anything seems to be wrong with my kids. I also know that I am always concerned because neither DH nor I have any experience with an intact penis other than DS. I am pretty lucky in that regard because I have a very good friend whose husband is intact and he is a doctor. So I can call if I am ever concerned and get help. My friend's DH was born and raised in Sri Lanka where most are not circ'd so to him it is normal and circumcising is not the solution when issues arise.

In regard to the demise of the thread, I am sorry that it turned out that way when you just had a concern. Hopefully it will come to a place where the discussions won't turn out that way and can stay informative rather than inflammatory.

[smilequeen]

I always asked men who I was seriously dating (months and months) whether or not they were circumcised. A NO answer was a deal breaker.

I did not want to see it, and would have run screaming. I spared us both the trouble by breaking up with them sooner rather than later.

Along similar lines, I also screened out men who were WAY too into sports or their mamas.

I gotta tell ya, they all look pretty much the same erect ;) I didn't even realize my DH wasn't circed for a while.

[Jo..]

i gotta tell ya, they all look pretty much the same erect ;) i didn't even realize my dh wasn't circed for a while.


eeek!!!! :rotflmao:

[JBaxter]

If I ever knew thaat DEATH was even a possibility, I would not have. I had no idea.

just over 100 boys die each year of botched circ's or uncontrolled bleeds. Modern diapers hold a lot of fluids and they can bleed out with out you knowing. Its just not talked about.

[JBaxter]

I gotta tell ya, they all look pretty much the same erect ;) I didn't even realize my DH wasn't circed for a while.

My mom said the same thing. ( yes it was not a comfortable conversation about my dads penis to have with my mother) LOL

[niccig]

I gotta tell ya, they all look pretty much the same erect ;) I didn't even realize my DH wasn't circed for a while.

Our babysitter had DS and a friend for an afternoon. The 2 boys were peeing at the same time - apparently boys love to do this. DS isn't circed. His friend is. The friend asked DS why his penis looks different. DS said "mine can look like yours," and retracted his. The friend replied "cool" and then asked the babysitter why his penis can't do tricks like DS can.

The babysitter told me she couldn't keep a straight face and told him he should ask his parents that question.

[Beckylove]

It may get talked about in the locker room. My brother has a kid on his hockey team they all call turtleneck, and it's not because of his shirts.

But he's 18 now, I'm sure boys will make fun of one another for something else in the future.

[pomegranate]

We did. I preferred not to (based on what I read about not medically necessary, no difference for sex, about 50 percent of current boys not circ'd) but DH said it wasn't an option because DH is circ'd. The procedure was done in our pediatrician's office. We gave DS tylenol before and sugar water pacifier. We were allowed to observe, but I couldn't do it so DH did and said that DS handled it really well.

[daisymommy]

It may get talked about in the locker room. My brother has a kid on his hockey team they all call turtleneck, and it's not because of his shirts.

But he's 18 now, I'm sure boys will make fun of one another for something else in the future.

There's a huge difference in the stats between the 18 yr. old generation, and our little kids. When our kids grow up and are 18, intact boys in the locker room will be the majority in many areas of this country. In my run of the mill town, the docs say it's 50/50, but in many areas it's 70 (intact)/30.
I'm not worried about it at all.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[ast96]

We circumcised our kids, but I have to say that I don't think this will be a "locker room issue" for uncircumcised boys at ALL. I know women who prefer uncircumcised men and women who prefer the other, but men do NOT care what other men look like. Most of the world does not do this procedure. We're the outliers. Our firstborn was born in California, where it is much more popular to leave the boys intact.

[BayGirl2]

I actually think the "comparison" issue may be more relevant to babies getting diaper changes or little boys potty training than it is for teenage/adult men. My hunch is that its the adults looking and noticing if a child is/isn't circ'ed and possibly commenting. DS isn't and while no one has said anything, I assume other parents, extended family, and care providers have noticed and are more likely to have an opinion than his peers. No research to back that up, just my suspicion based on how contentious this can get among adults like us.

As for the stats/research around STD's, I really get concerned when that stuff is quoted. Mostly because I don't want my son or daughter to have any false sense of security because they/their partner are or are not circ'ed. If they choose to have sex I want them to use condoms for a whole host of reasons, and that is what I will teach them. Circ'ed men can still get lots of things if they are not careful, even if their chances are a few % lower.

[megs4413]

I'll be honest and say I would be intimidated and a little eeked out at the sight of an intact penis...I've never even seen one. It's just totally outside my frame of reference. I'll go even farther and say that I had enough of a time adjusting to caring for my son's penis (since I don't have one) even with it circ'd (and therefore more familiar looking.) that may make me some kind of horrible peen-aphobe, but it's the truth.

[brittone2]

I'll be honest and say I would be intimidated and a little eeked out at the sight of an intact penis...I've never even seen one. It's just totally outside my frame of reference.
I felt this way when we were deciding. We opted not to circ after spending a lot of time thinking about it. In the end, I was shocked at how much of a non issue it has been. It was as easy as cleaning his nose, and our hospital discharge paperwork actually referred to it that way. There are really no special cleaning requirements at all so really no different. I'll be honest and say I wondered if poop would get in there and what not, but really it was all very easy.

[Fairy]

Yes.

Just because something is medically unnecessary doesn't make it wrong. Just something to think about as you're deciding.

[Katigre]

I'll be honest and say I would be intimidated and a little eeked out at the sight of an intact penis...I've never even seen one. It's just totally outside my frame of reference. I'll go even farther and say that I had enough of a time adjusting to caring for my son's penis (since I don't have one) even with it circ'd (and therefore more familiar looking.) that may make me some kind of horrible peen-aphobe, but it's the truth.
FWIW, I feel eeked out when I see my friends' DS's who are circ'd b/c the penis looks really strange to me and honestly makes me cringe a little inside. It's totally outside my normal frame of reference to see a little boy whose penis is literally 'cut' to be exposed in places where my DS's is smooth and solid (he is fully retractible but I don't have to see that part ;)). Wiping and caring for a circ'd penis during a diaper change is trickier b/c of the visible glans with exposed pee hole - I'm used to wiping an enclosed 'finger' and not a part with crevices/cracks where feces can get stuck.

(Let me tell you...it was quite a big adjustment to having DD and wiping a girl at diaper changes - they are 10x harder to clean compared to any boy!!!!! ;))

[wellyes]

I'll be honest and say I would be intimidated and a little eeked out at the sight of an intact penis...I've never even seen one. It's just totally outside my frame of reference.
I remember reading (here?) that someone circ'ed their son because they didn't want girls to reject him sexually.... but that's not how it usually works. In my (intimate) experience, the person you love is the most beautiful person in the world. So, I think your intimidation factor would be much lower if it were attached to someone you adored.

I do wonder how it goes when the roles are reversed.... an American guy studying abroad in France. Are the girls he meets freaked out?

[mrshalco]

Yes we did - for both. It was the right decision for us. I believe each family has to make their own decisions and I don't regret mine and I hope you (OP) don't regret yours.

Both my boys had issues after their circs - nothing that had to be surgically fixed but they both had some reattachment issues. Sometimes there just are issues - you can't second guess each decision. You did what was right for you and your family. Hope your son is doing better now (I didn't get a chance to read your original post or to read all the responses!)