If you have SILs....

[arivecchi]

poll coming......

[gatorsmom]

I have 3 SILs- my brothers wife, DH's sister and DH's brother's wife. I am really lucky in that I really like them all. Seriously, I don't thnk Ive ever complained about any of them. They've never given me reason to. We don't usually do thngs socially, though , but I totally would if they all lived closer and we weren't all so busy.

My brother's first wife was a different story. That woman was a major piece of work. I'm so glad she has been replaced.

[elektra]

I have 4 SILs. They are all very kind, low drama (well one is minimal drama), and we all get along just fine. I voted "she's ok" for all 4. I guess I always had high expectations of a SIL- that we would be super close, and I am not really that way with any of my SILs.
No hate though at all. So even though I didn't get the sister I never had, I feel lucky in the IL department overall.

[hillview]

I said she was ok. She is actually very nice often however she lives with her mom who is a real piece of work. SIL has ALWAYS lived with MIL so she is heavily influenced 100% by MIL also SIL has NO other life. None, so we don't have so much in common / to talk about.

[SnuggleBuggles]

I have 3- 2 are dh's sisters and 1 is my brother's wife.

Dh's sisters are younger than me, one I have known since she was 7yo. :) She's my favorite...probably because I have been grooming her and influencing her thoughts for a long time. She's very much her own person but she and I have a good amount in common. Dh's other sister is perfectly fine. We aren't close but we enjoy spending time together; we just don't go out of our way to spend time together. Neither lives locally.

My brother's wife has been around and in my life for 20+ years. We go through phases of being closer than at other times. We are in an off phase now. She was invaluable when ds1 was born. She wasn't local but we talked daily on the phone. They live across the country and i think it has been 3+ years since I have seen my SIL and brother. I need to get out there and try and get things back on track. I don't see eye to eye with her on some things and both of us are pretty darned stubborn and opinionated. :) But, we still like each other!

Beth

[niccig]

I have 2 SILs. One is OK, the other, well none in the family gets along with, so it's not just me. DH isn't close with his sisters, so that's carried over to our relationship as well.

[mezzona]

my dh has 2 sisters. love them. we are not super close (they have each other, i have my sister), but they are all around great people.

[arivecchi]

One of my SILs I like well enough, the other.....not so much. :11:

[maestramommy]

LOVE her. The only one I have, but she's awesome. Intelligent, funny, super nice, great sense of style, but doesn't knock my lack thereof. She welcomed me openly when I went to meet the family. But then she is just like the rest of Dh's extended family. Very cool that way.

[TwinFoxes]

DH's sisters are a "like" and a "meh". "Meh" is getting bitter as she gets older, she's hard to be around. The one I "like" is just too bossy and a buttinski, but means well.

[AnnieW625]

My brother is not married, but I really like his girlfriend. We get along fine, but they live in Oregon so I don't get to see her much.

Now If I were to count BIL's wife then I would have to vote I tolerate her. We simply don't get along unless we are buying our kids clothes. We both have good tastes but she is very much an A type personality who thinks no one can do better than her and it annoys me to no end. DH and I have both decided that if someone can't do anything for her (and really BIL) then they don't want much to do with them. I am much more tolerable of her since she had my nephew. She also has since miscarried a baby at the beginning of the second trimester so we do have a lost child in common, but no clue if that will make us closer in the future. I won't give up trying to be friends with her but I am also not holding any hopes of that and it has taken a good 8 yrs. for me to realize that.

[crl]

I have three. My brother's wife is okay. She doesn't mesh well with our family, but I don't think that's particularly her fault. She is definitely a decent person. My brother-in-law's wife is really nice and my favorite in-law. :rotflmao: My husband's sister is difficult. She has a challenging personality and she tends to think of dh as "hers" probably because they are twins.

Catherine

[buddyleebaby]

My SIL has never been anything but kind to me, but we are not as close as true sisters are. (Or at least, as close as I am to my sister.)
She makes my brother very happy and that's what matters.

[sste]

It defies categorization.

I believe I have mentioned that SIL called me at the hospital, asked to speak to me while I was in labor - - I mean in active labor, contracting away, hooked up to multiple monitors due to issues with the delivery - - and asked me to co-sign her ivf loan.

She really doesn't get it though - - she is really wired differently from most. I do love her.

[brittone2]

I have too much experience on this one unfortunately. I have 4 brothers. One has been married and divorced 3x. One just divorced for the 2nd time. One just divorced for the first time. And one is still married, but he's married to a woman my whole family despises (she is truly, honestly evil. this isn't just a "don't mesh" type of issue or somewhat typical IL tension. She's truly an evil person). We've been estranged from her and my brother for 8 years.

I really only felt close to one SIL (now an ex SIL but we are still fairly friendly as my niece is fairly close in age to my two older children).

My other SILs have mostly been fine, but not "close" relationships. Not women I'd hang out with socially given a choice (if we weren't family) and vice versa (I'm also 10+ years younger than my brothers). Frequently it seemed not a good match for my brother(s), and even if they were otherwise decent human beings, you just kind of new it wasn't going to work out, and well...it panned out that way (unfortunately).

For some reason my SILs all seem to have this weird issue w/ calling my parents with every complaint over their marital life. It causes a tremendous burden on my mom in particular. When my parents express concern, etc. down the road they are accused of butting in. So basically everyone unloads on my parents (unsolicted, they just call and unload all of their marital angst on my mom....) and can't comprehend why it is hard for my parents to sometimes stay 100 percent removed from the situation. I just don't get it??!

I pretty much give up on bonding with any of them after the going divorce rate in the family!

eta: I totally forgot about DH's sister (was thinking of all the drama on my side!). I do like her. And I like DH's brother's wife as well. We don't hang out outside of family functions really, but I really like them both a lot.

[Green_Tea]

I voted "she's OK." I DO like her (she's DH's sister), and we have a nice time when we're together, but we used to be MUCH closer. Our DDs (my oldest, her only) were born a month apart, and we have very different parenting philosophies. MIL and FIL are very involved with DN and basically ignore my children. I find it stressful when we all spend time together because it's hard to ignore my inlaws' very strong relationship with my niece - and their complete lack of a relationship with our DC. I know this is not SIL's fault (at least not completely - part of the reason that the ILs almost never visit is because they are SIL's primary childcare for DN, and they don't want to leave her hanging. SIL could absolutely afford alternative childcare, but obviously prefers free childcare). The overall situation has definitely driven a wedge in our relationship.

It makes me sad. I have a very close relationship with my own sisters, and would like to have that kind of relationship with SIL. She's smart and fun. But she has very different priorities (as a parent and as a person), and I have a hard time getting past the way that *her* priorities have influenced the relationship my inlaws have with DH, me, and our family.

[amldaley]

I have three SIL's and they are all three as different as night and day.

One is married to my Brother.
One is DH's sister.
One is married to DH's brother.

I love them all, but I only really get along really well with one of them (she and I both married in to DH's family so we have a shared perspective).

I think it is interesting how the relationships differ based not only on their personalities but on the position of each relationship.

[kijip]

I have 2. One is my BILs wife (my husband's brother's wife) and I have met her 2x. They live in Norway. I would not say that we are close. She is kind of strange but not particularly offensive.

One is my brother's wife. She lives a couple miles away from us but we were not in contact for several years. Certainly I would have said hate her a few years ago (though not really hate, just I can't be near you) but they have turned things around now I was say we are between she's ok and like her.

[g-mama]

I have three SILs. My dh has three younger sisters. I truly love and enjoy them all. They are very loving, kind and supportive (both in general and to me), fun, cool and fun to be around. Dh has a very close knit family and I am glad to be a part of it.

[Binkandabee]

I have two. One is awesome, love her, love the time she spends with us and our girls. She puts a lot of effort into our relationship and her relationship with our girls. Just last week she took DD#1 out to lunch and to a movie. She bakes things and drops them by, she spends the night at our house and we watch movies and cook breakfast. She's awesome. I love her like my own sister.

The other one. Meh. She's totally disinterested. She can't even be bothered to use the "like" button on facebook. We all live in the same smallish city, so it's not like it's a huge undertaking to spend time with us. She's just wrapped up in her own world completely.

[Cam&Clay]

I have 2.5 SILs. DH has two sisters and my brother is engaged. I voted one love, one hate, one meh!

I LOVE LOVE LOVE my brother's financee. She is fabulous. I could be her BFF.

One of DH's sisters is married to a famous author who just got his own show on the Travel Channel. We don't have much in common, needless to say, but she is sweet. She sends gifts to our boys but makes no effort to see them.

The other sister hates children. She literally hates children, so she completely ignores the boys. She raises dogs. She stopped speaking to us when one day, after she had gone on and on about her dogs being her babies, DH informed her that unless one of those dogs came out of her vagina, they were not her babies.

[swissair81]

I obligatory other'd.

My DH has 8 younger siblings- 5 brothers and 3 sisters. 4 of his brothers are married, so I have a grand total of 7 sisters in law. Of those- I adore 2 of my bil's wives- we're practically best friends. 1 bil's wife and I don't really see eye to eye on much, we don't call each other at all, but we're friendly when we see each other. The last bil's wife just got married in September, and I haven't seen her since her wedding. I don't think I can tell yet. She's also 19 and I'm 30.
Of my husband's sisters, I'm pretty friendly with the 2 older ones. Their English isn't the greatest. We don't talk much because of the time difference, but we definitely get along well (usually). His youngest sister is 9. She's a huge brat and she was horrible and bossy to my kids when we were just in Switzerland. Nuff said.

As for my own siblings- no sisters-in-law yet. I have 2 younger, unmarried sisters, and a brother who is still a senior in high school.

[lmwbasye]

I voted "love her". We have not always gotten along and I don't feel the feeling is mutual (I think she just tolerates me). But, I really admire her for so many things and I love the relationship she has with her brother (my DH). She's a great mom and does so many things so well...she's just someone I look up to. Don't get me wrong...there are somethings I wish were different with us or that she'd do differently, but I definitely vote "love her."

ETA: Duh...I have another SIL. My baby brother recently got married. LOVE her, too. She's fantastic. We don't see each other or get to talk that often because we're military and never around that much but when we do see one another, it's great!

[liamsmom]

DH's sister is 20 and coming into her own. I love her to death, but I'm curious to see how she turns out in 5 years.

My other 2 SIL's are my BILs' wives. One I love--she is awesome and I wish we lived closer. And the other I like a little more now that I moved 3,000 miles away. But I sure don't miss her. ;)

[Carrots]

I have 1 SIL. She is a great person, loves my brother and their son to pieces and is fantastic with my parents. I do like her, but we are just very different people. She drives me crazy sometimes.

[Carrots]

DH informed her that unless one of those dogs came out of her vagina, they were not her babies.

:hysterical::hysterical::hysterical:

[misshollygolightly]

I voted "She's ok". I love her because she's family (DH's younger only sibling), and I really want the best for her. We get along fine, but we have absolutely nothing in common, and she's at a very, very different place in her life from where my husband and I are. She's unhappy with where she's at, but she is there because she's made some terrible decisions (and continues to make those kinds of decisions). Also, she has low self-esteem and doesn't seem to know what she wants in life. I really worry about her, and I wish I knew how to connect with her. It makes me sad b/c I'm an only child and I was looking forward to 'gaining a sister' but I really just feel no connection to her at all (other than a sort of obligatory family thing). I've tried to reach out to her, but never had much success.

[ilfaith]

I have two SILs. DH's sister and my brother's wife.

I am much closer to DH's sister, since we lived in the same city (NYC) for a number of years and we have a fair amount in common (in fact I met DH through a mutual friend). My brother met his wife after DH and I moved to Florida (they live in New Jersey), so I've only met her a handful of times. She's very sweet and I have no complaints about her, but she's rather quiet and reserved so I don't feel like I really know her that well.

[momtoonegirl]

I have 3 SIL's: 1 is my brother's wife, 1 is my DH's sister, and 1 is my BIL's (DH's brother) wife.

The best one by far is my DH's sister. Although she lives in the East Coast and is very busy, she tries to visit when she is in town, and is generally a positive person to be around.

My brother's wife is a piece of work. She has mood swings when dealing with adults, but is nice to my kids, so I tolerate her.

BIL's wife is also a piece of work, so much so that DH's family rarely communicates with them. Luckily there are no small children involved in that drama.

[mommylamb]

I have 3 SILs (all DH's sisters, as I have no brothers), but I don't feel like I know them at all, so I voted other. They all live in England, and I just don't see them frequently. Two of them are fine, and the other is really problematic for my MIL, and DH wants nothing to do with her. She's an alcoholic and clearly has some mental health issues.

[Melaine]

I have 5 and 1 ex. Really loved the ex, love 1 of the others, get along well with 3 and am civil but try to avoid 1 (really more her hubby than her). In general, I've been very lucky with SILs.

[Globetrotter]

I'm close to mine, and I enjoy their company. Of course, I think it helps that we live far from all of them!

[mjs64]

Love mine. I have 2 younger sisters, she is younger as well, and I think I enjoy a sister relationship. She's a great person, and we are maybe closer than she and DH.

[crayonblue]

I plead the fifth.

[lmh2402]

only have one so far - DH's sister. my brothers aren't yet married.

my SIL and i are like oil and water to say the least. if we never had to be in the same room again, i am certain we would both be happy. i cannot stand her.

[KrisM]

I have 5 SILs. They are all great. I very much enjoy them. I see my brother's wife quite often, as they are local. I see the 4 from DH's side much less, but completely enjoy them. We even spend a week at his brother's house every year and I love hanging out with that SIL.

[hellokitty]

I don't have experiences with sisters or sil's who are sisters, since my DH only has a brother. I have 3 sils, both of my brothers are married and bil's wife. Bil's wife is probably the one I enjoy hanging out with the most. However, she has always lived so far away, we don't have enough opportunities to get to know one another. If we lived closer to one another, I think that we would hang out regularly. She too is like me, never had a sister. For some reason, I seem to hit it off with other women who never had a sister (but wished they had one).

As for my brothers' wives. They are both ok, they are nice ppl. However, they are not the type of women that I would be friends with IRL if they weren't married into the family, kwim? One is kind of clueless and seems to learn everything the hard way, even when you warn her. So, I've given up trying to warn her. She is also very odd. I've tried to get to know her better, but basically, my other sil and I both feel that this sil is devoid of personality. She answers everything in one or two word comments. I feel like we have all really tried to bend over backwards to make her feel comfortable, but I think that this is just the way she is, she's the opposite of a bubbly personality. My other sil is nice, we get along pretty well, but she tends to be a know-it-all and can be a big snob about material things, so sometimes those quirks in her personality can be annoying, but since we live so far away from another, it's not a big problem. Basically, all my sils live OOS, so regardless of how much I like or don't like them, I only seem them a couple times a yr at most anyway. Too bad that is not the situation with my mil, ugh (living OOS).

[Babymakes3]

I have 6 SIL's and 1 ex, ugh. 4 are DH's sisters and the rest are my brothers wives. My side SIL's are all fine however DH's side...ay yay yay!
One (the baby) is my age and we went to high school together, she lives out of state and we get along fine. Another is the adopted sister and she is also out of state, i've only seen her 4 times in 10 years. The 2nd to oldest is a PITA career college student at 38 and DH's dad is still paying her bills, ridiculous. The oldest, oh boy, mountains of issues with that one! She is the know it all, queen of secrets, mid life crisis, completely unhappy but its never her fault SIL. Long story short we used to get along great and now we don't. As far as I know the family thinks its me that is the issue but I DH thinks they've realized it's not so who knows. I could write a book on her alone! So far I only have 1 BIL to deal with...well 2 but i've only met him twice so we won't count him. Why couldn't DH have had brothers instead???!

[JoyNChrist]

I have DH's sister, who is fine. We're the same age, but pretty different. We get along fine though and she's nice to me and helpful when we need her. We're just not best buddies or anything. I used to be a bit jealous of her because she and DH are so close and I felt like I'd never measure up to his sister in his eyes, but I calmed down over time.

I hate my BIL's wife with a passion. But I also hate BIL, and they don't like me much either. So...meh, who cares.

[MontrealMum]

I have one SIL and I can't stand her. At times I think that she exists solely to create trouble for other people. She's a total PITA. It's also kind of hard for me to believe that she's 14 years OLDER than I am...not 14 years younger.

[BayGirl2]

I have 3 through DH and 1 ex through my brother. I went from never having sisters to having 4 SIL's within a couple months, which I thought was great. The ex was good at the time but turned out to be a disaster, so she's out. Of my 3 remaining SIL's, all are local, and I get along with all of them. Two I connect with more, the other is a bit out there and sometimes causes some drama. We had a big family falling out about 4 years ago and I was extremely hurt by two of them, but we've all moved beyond that now.

Overall, in terms of family, I consider myself very lucky. DH's 3 siblings are all nearby, we all get along enough that we enjoy hanging out together. And we have a bunch of healthy, happy, confident kids who look forward to seeing their cousins.

[TxCat]

I voted for ok, but our relationship has definitely been an evolution. I used to get along really well with my BIL, but our relationship soured right around the time that he started dating his now-wife, my SIL, so some of the tension between myself and BIL transferred to SIL. Things were really stormy between the 3 of us for a while, and while they did some things that were not so nice, I definitely was not a sweet and innocent party either, and in retrospect, I'm kind of ashamed of some of the things I did/said. However, I've made a HUGE effort the last two years to be more friendly/make more of an effort, and it's really paid off. We get along now the best that we ever have. I don't think we'll ever be best friends, but we can get along and go out and enjoy each other's company, something I didn't think was possible two years ago. It definitely makes family gatherings much nicer, and makes my relationship with DH much easier as well.

[fumofu]

I said OK. She lives out of town, and has yet to meet DS. I'm not sure if she's flying out here to spend Christmas with my IL's. As a SIL, I like her, because she's easy going. As a person and of her life choices, I don't have a great opinion.

[elephantmeg]

I have 2 (one on each side) and love them both! I'm soooooooo lucky. Now parents/IL's....not so much!

[ellies mom]

Right now I have one SIL. I got along well with my brother's ex-wife and we are still friendly and I get along with his long time girlfriend. I like DH's sister well enough. We've always gotten along fine. I wish we saw her more. She doesn't have kids but she could make a really fun aunt if the girls spent more time with her.



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[roseyloxs]

I have no sisters of my own. My husband has one sister. It has been really nice having another girl in the 'family'. I don't have an awkward relationship with my MIL so its nice to be able to talk to my SIL about things in their family. If we lived in the area I think we would be even closer.

My BIL recently got married and his new wife is okay. She is not my kind of people but we get along well enough for the 1 or 2 times a year I see her. I was the first 'out-law' of my husband's family so it is nice to have a companion in that regard.

[klwa]

I have 4 SILs (currently). Both brothers are married & both of DH's brothers are married. I'd say all fo them are OK, with the exception of the cheating pile of *&@(#*&(* who left my one brother, but he seems to believe that they might be working things out (although then he tells me that she spends their entire therapy sessions complaining abotu how he broke the marriage vows first because he wouldn't take her nice places. Yeah.) so I can't say anything about her to him. And yet, she was the one who, 2 years ago, i would have said was even more than okay. She was the one I'd seek out when visiting to spend time with. *sigh* The other 3 are all fine, but we don't have a lot in common. The only one I TRY to schedule to spend time with is also my hairdresser, which is why I schedule time with her.

[catsnkid]

I had to vote other. My situation is semi unique. DH has a 1/2 sister who is turning 3 soon! (6 months older than DS). I hope we will all get along great but we have yet to meet her because they live overseas. My brother is not married and my 2 BIL's are bachelors, and the other BIL is about 10 years old.

[mctlaw]

Due to distance (we are now closer as of recently) I am not super close to either SIL, though I would like to be closer.

Little Brother's wife is wonderful and a great match for little bro. They are both kind and lovely souls. They are having fertility difficulties which I feel terrible about since I am expecting and have no such problems. They will likely never qualify for adoption due to LB's significant health problems. One thing that is special about SIL is that LB is a quadriplegic, so SIL has to be LB's caregiver as well as his wife. That takes a special person, in my opinion. LB was already injured when they began dating.

I put off answering this because of the other SIL, DH's sister. He is on the verge of writing her off for life. She is a cool person when she wants to be, and people who meet her usually think she is awesome. But, she has acted incredibly selfishly lately and DH is so hurt, he is just about DONE, which is sad b/c she has 2 sweet kids and we are now living in a closer location to them, and could spend more time with them if she would do simple things like return phone calls or reach out at appropriate times. She hasn't even called, texted or emailed to congratulate us on the pregnancy.

[Kymberley]

Only one here. My brother is getting married next year. I voted she's ok. I like her, she's super sweet and she adores my brother. She has a brother who has CP and lives in a wheelchair, and I LOVE him. I'm just not around her enough to know and love her. She lives 2 hours away in a mansion that replicates Tara (Gone with the Wind), but to look at her you wouldn't say she's spoiled. She has a very rare heart condition that no doctor has yet to figure out, so I worry about her and my brother more than anything.

[boolady]

I only have one, and will only ever have one, but I voted "love her." She and I are pretty different in a lot of ways, but not in any bad ways- in fact, she's probably a healthier person than me because she's more laid back, but we get along very well. We're not best friends or anything, but about all things involving DH's crazy family, we're always on the same page, and she's not afraid to let them all know how she feels. She's kind and thoughtful without being a pushover, which is difficult when dealing with DH's family. I feel very lucky that my BIL married her, both because I really like her as a person and because I feel like I have an ally in the family.

[FTMLuc]

I only have 1, BIL's wife and I voted "meh." We would not be friends socially and I do not hate her, that would be too strong, but I just generally don't care for her and she annoys me to no end when she is around me. Talks about herself incessantly - how beautiful she is, how much money she makes, how much her bosses love her, how much she works out to have a nice body - oy, vey! I think most of her talking comes from low self esteem, she always has to one up you. There are things she has done that I just scratch my head at, and 1/2 the time I think she is just clueless, the other 1/2 pure evil. As in telling my in-laws how she gets hit on all the time while my BIL is serving in Iraq. Exactly what they want to hear about their DIL while their DS's life is on the line. Or when she knew full well that DH and I were struggling with very specific fertility issues for 5 years, but when she became pregnant everytime she saw us the coversation went along the lines "I love being pregnant" - which I did not have an issue with, I was happy for them - but it was always followed by a statement "it is so great, and it only took us 2 months trying, you should try it to see how great it is." That last is the one that has put me off her and trying have a decent relationship with her.

[NJ_Mom2011]

I have 1 SIL that I labeled as a meh. I once got along extremely well before she had my two nephews. My problem is that I don't agree with her parenting style, as I feel that she in the past spoiled her children and gave them very little discipline. One kid is so bad that he was being threatened from being expelled from public school due to discipline issues, and is now being homeschooled.

It is interesting, some here have called their SIL a buttinski, and I feel that is me. I am actually taking up praying that I become a more tolerant person towards her. (I have never confronted her, but she probably has sensed my disapproval). I don't think that I would like how she would answer this poll about me!

[lowrioh]

I have 2 and they are both OK.
I went to school with my brother's wife and I have no problem with her, we are just very different people. I would have no problem calling her up to ask something but we don't chat on the phone, ever.
DH's sister lives on the other side of the world so I don't see her too much anymore. I like her a lot but she has some issues and I think that if I had to deal with her more she would drive me crazy.
My BIL (sister's husband) on the other hand...I LOVE him!