Pre-K napping at school

[gibas23]

so we are struggling to get DD napping at her Pre-K program. This is a new school that she started attending in Sept. Her prior school is a montessori preschool where she napped every day.

The principal and teachers of the new school have repeatedly asked me to talk to her ped about it and requested a school district psychologist to come in and observe DD during nap time.

The nap time is 12-2 pm (her previous school nap is 1 to 2:45 pm). Not all the the kids are napping but they still have to lay down on their cots for 2 hrs and be quiet. My DD just won't and can't. We think that there is nothing wrong with DD not able to do that, frankly we even think it is weird that the rest of her friends are ok with that. We tried talking to her, using sticker rewards and giving out rewards, etc but she just would not lay still. I actually have to come in during my lunch break to make DD nap and that's the only thing that work. So naturally, we are transferring to a different school that has no nap requirement in January.

I wonder since we only have DD, we don't any other child to compare, but we think she is fine in refusing to lay still on her cot for 2 hrs, am I right? But the school kept making us feel like there is something wrong with her when 23 of her classmates would do it. My DH and DD's ped actually said "What's wrong with those 23 kids" when I told them about the school comment.

Her principal thinks she will have discipline problem later on her future academic years if we don't nip this quick. I almost gave her rolled eyes when I heard this, but i resisted.

Urgh..I am glad we have only 2 more weeks of schools left. Thanks for reading.

[niccig]

DS school had rest time, they didn't call it nap as there were only 2 kids that napped consistently, DS and another girl. They did have to lie quietly though. I don't think it was for 2 hours though.

[buddyleebaby]

My children gave up regular naps at the age of two.
There would be NO way they would nap (consistently) for 2 hours at the age of 3 or 4. Occasionally, maybe.

My daughter's Pre-K attempted to implement an hour long "rest period" this year because her class of 3-4 year olds was on the young side (lots of newly threes). It lasted for two weeks before they decided to change it to quiet activity time because there were only 1-2 children who seemed to need/want the rest.

There is nothing wrong with your daughter, and it is not a discipline issue.
The only issue is the school asking her to so something that is obviously not developmentally appropriate for *her*.

[gibas23]

buddylee, i feel that way too.

So the school informed me today that I have to check out DD at 12 noon and bring her back in at 2 pm everyday for reminder of our days there. They will not dedicate anymore resources to get her stay on her cot. I have been coming in to help her to sleep and she usually wakes up at 1ish pm, she lays down but then she practices singing her winter program songs. They would give her only one book because the other kids are asking for books to and the school don't want to encourage that. I told them I am not doing the check in/out thing. Can they just terminate our enrollment and prorated my December tuition (it is $1600 per month) for the 2 days we have came in. Nope, they won't do it because the withdrawal notice have to be in on 15th of the prior month. Then I told her teacher, what will happen then if I refuse to take her out during nap time? She will get back to me on Monday.

Should I just pull DD out regardless of my tuition refund? but I am just pissed and the principle of things are both parties should compromise. I am already sacrificing my lunch hours to help out and they just flatly told me they won't do anything anymore.

[JustMe]

I am with you. I do not like the comments made by the school one bit and find them almost bizarre. A lot of pre-K kids have difficulty if they have nap/quiet time at their schools because their bodies don't need to nap so its difficult (I did not say all...nothing wrong with those who do nap either).

I am not clear if you WOHM and need the childcare or if you just have her there because you want her in a pre-K program, but dont actually need childcare. Either way , if there was another choice that was a good choice, I would be moving her there.

[gibas23]

Unfortunately, I am a working mom, so my child need to be in school while at work.

[roseyloxs]

UGH! I think you are doing the right thing to hold your ground. I can't believe they convinced 23 toddlers to lay down and stare at the ceiling for 2 hours! The fact they don't want kids to use this as quiet reading time is also disheartening. Its wrong of them to make you feel like your daughter is a problem because she acts like a toddler. Good Luck, I hope they let you leave with your money.




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[octmom]

Wow! I'm glad you're pulling your DD from that crazy place. That is nuts.

DS gave up napping when he was very young and it was always a problem for us too. (I work full-time too and needed full-time preschool/ childcare.) The issue was usually that they used nap time for techers to take lunch breaks and licensing doesn't require the ratio of teachers/ caregivers to be as high if the kids are sleeping. There was usually a B-team floater on duty during nap time, and that person was often ill-prepared to quietly occupy non-nappers while the majority of kids were napping. When we had a big issue, I did put together a bag of quiet time activities (paper and washable markers, activity books, wikki stix, etc.) for DS. At least the school allowed that. We were luckier when DD was in pre-K and not napping. There were plenty of other non-nappers then, so there was a napping room and a non-napping room. The kids who didn't nap were required to rest quietly for something like 30 minutes, but I think they allowed them to have books during that time.

Good luck getting through the next few weeks and transitioning to a new school!

[sidmand]

That seems ridiculous to me too! She doesn't need to see a doctor, they do!

DD gave up her naps at 2 1/2 and never napped again. Once in awhile she'll fall asleep in the car at about 4:00 but that's it. When I pick her up at school there are some kids still asleep (2:30) and I think there is (by law) some time when they have to lie quietly on mats and "rest" but I know they're allowed to read quietly or do quiet things. Not all kids nap at that age and it's nuts they won't let her do something else quietly. And if they're asking you to pick hr up for two hours in the middle of the day...can't even think of a good response to that!

[elephantmeg]

DS didn't nap either. I think they are strange

[Simon]

She does not need a Dr. The school is in the wrong. If they are asking you to leave (essentially) or can no longer meet your Dd's needs, then they should be refunding your tuition for the month so you can find alternative care. Or, they need to find alternative accomodations--can she lie down someplace the other kids can't hear her? Can they let her do a quiet activity elsewhere?

I think the school is being very unprofessional. It is not your responsibility to make their lives easier. They work for you and need to do their best taking care of your Dd for the next 2 weeks if they intend to take your money for it.

[connor_mommy]

The preschool that we went to had a 1 hour rest time for the pre-k class. It was torture for my DS#1 just to lay there. He hadn't napped since he turned 3. Two years later when DS#2 was in pre-k, they took away the nap time unless it was requested by the parent. Only 2 kids out of 25 napped. Those that didn't nap had an extra hour of work time. They got to spend more one on one time with the teachers and the kids worked on their Montessori type jobs. Check out DeLor Montessori if you need to switch schools;-) It's in Sunnyvale.

[MommyofAmaya]

There is NO way either of my kids would have napped during school at any age over 2. You are definitely making the right decision to get out of there. Sounds more like boot camp than preschool.

[gibas23]

thanks for all the support. I feel so sad and guilty for my DD, there were some days that we took away books or toys or tv for the day and have a stern talk with her if she "misbehaved" during the nap time (this is all at the school suggestion).

Her Dr. knew the school reputation and she flatly told me to find a different school. It was too regimented for such a young age and it is kind a waste spending money and the child time for 2 hrs staring at the ceiling every day.

I belong to a big mom's group at the area where I live and we constantly get emails asking for feedback on schools around the areas (this one is very popular), I will definitely will response with my experience.