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CharlotteMommy
12-04-2011, 10:21 PM
I need some sleep advice for my 3 month old DD. She fights sleep all throughout the day, and her little schedule is so inconsistent from one day to the next. Thankfully her nighttime schedule is pretty good, once she finally gives in.

She has her last meal of the day at 6:30, and I put her down in her crib at 7:15 every night. Sometimes she goes right to sleep without a peep, and other nights she cries and cries and cries. For the most part, we’ve been letting her cry it out, because we know she does have the ability to fall asleep on her own. The few times that I have caved (when her screaming has just gone on long enough – we’re talking two to three hours on some nights), she calms down immediately when picked up, and her diapers have pretty much been dry. This tells me that there isn’t anything else going on other than her not wanting to go to sleep.

Once she finally gives in, she gives me awesome stretches at night, going as long as 9.5 hours twice this past week! I feed her once in the middle of the night, and then she always goes right back to sleep without any fussing. She has proven that she has the ability to self-soothe and fall asleep on her own, and with her long stretches I am thinking we are close to dropping her nighttime feeding.

So, I really have two sets of questions – how to get her to be better about going down to sleep every night consistently, and whether she’s ready to be done with her middle of the night feeding. I used Ferber with my son to accomplish both tasks at once, but I’m not sure if that’s the right method for this little one. I think I may need to treat these sleep issues separately with potentially different solutions.

As far as initially going to bed… Is Ferber the best method, given that she is so inconsistent when she is initially put down? For example, if I comfort her at 3-5-10 minute increments on Day 1 because she is screaming, but don’t need any intervention for Day 2 and 3 because she goes down without a fight, what to do on Day 4? Something that you would typically see on a Day 2 (like 5-10-12) or something that you would more typically see on a Day 4 (like 12-15-20)? Or should I just let her continue to cry it out every night like we’ve been doing, and let her work on getting her act together more consistently on her own?

Do you think she’s ready to drop her nighttime feeding? Should I wait a little longer to see if she eventually drops it on her own? Do you think Ferber is the best way to train this little one or would you recommend something else?

Would you work on the going-to-bed routine as well as dropping the middle of the night feeding at the same time, or should I get one straightened out first and then tackle the second one?

This has unintentionally turned out to be a pretty long post. TIA if you’ve gotten this far, as well as for your advice!

hoodlims
12-07-2011, 09:47 PM
I Ferberized my DD at 3 months. She was a good eater and a large baby, but I did worry about nighttime feedings at first. She was horrible the 1st day, better the 2nd, even better the 3rd, and quiet the 4th.

Do you have a bedtime routine with her? We always do dinner (even if it is breast or bottle), bath, books, then bed. Or you can make the breastfeeding the last thing on the list.

I bet it is pretty hard to put your DD on a consistent schedule with older children in the mix. Does she nap at all? She may be overtired on some of the days you put her down, making it even harder to go down without crying. I would try to wear her or put her to sleep during the day as much as possible so she is not cranky at night.

Good luck!

Dr C
12-07-2011, 10:19 PM
I don't think I'd drop the nighttime feeding yet. I think that if you really work on her learning to self-soothe when you first put her down, she may drop that single feeding on her own in a couple of months. If she hasn't dropped it by, I'd consider "helping" her drop it.

As far as the initial bedtime goes, you're right to encourage her to self soothe. I totally agree with the idea of a bedtime routine--having a good routine may well increase your percentage of "good" nights. I wouldn't stress too much about exactly what the intervals should be on day 4 (in your example) if you choose the ferber approach. I'd probably go with the day 2 intervals on day 4 (if she went down nicely days 2 and 3) if I were doing graduated extinction, but honestly what we've had success with is just shutting the door and not going back in.