Do your neighbors "encourage" (read pressure) you to put up Christmas lights?

[ha98ed14]

I'm not sure if this is all in my head, but I would say that 10/12 houses on my cul-de-sac put up lights. The first year we were here, my neighbors asked us when we were going to put up lights. I said I didn't have any, so they actually gave us lights that they were no longer using so that we could put them up. We were coming from an apt. and didn't have the cash to fork over for them that first year.

This year, I feel like I will have to pressure DH to get them up, and I don't want to fight that battle. He has enough on his plate right now and I am going out of town (again!) to be with BFF whose mom passed away.

Should I feel pressure when they ask me when I am going to put up my lights? I know I feel will pressure as we will be nearly the only one without them up. Ugh.

[vludmilla]

I don't think you should feel pressure. There is no good reason that I can think of that it should matter to them if you put up lights. It certainly isn't anything akin to the lawn care situation (i.e. maintaining the neighborhood)

[hellokitty]

Actually, if I were in your shoes, I would be more likely NOT to put up lights, just b/c they are bugging you about it. :tongue5: You should just do this...

http://www.dailystab.com/ditto/

[ha98ed14]

I don't think you should feel pressure. There is no good reason that I can think of that it should matter to them if you put up lights. It certainly isn't anything akin to the lawn care situation (i.e. maintaining the neighborhood)

Oh, just a quick update! My lawn is much, much better. I hired a crew to rip out the hard-to-maintain landscaping in the front and we returned it to just lawn. They preped the ground and we re-seeded and the grass is coming in nicely. Will be easier for us to maintain: simple lawn to water and mow. And we pledge to be better about watering. So, there, my neighbors should like me better now, lights or no lights! ;)

[ha98ed14]

Actually, if I were in your shoes, I would be more likely NOT to put up lights, just b/c they are bugging you about it. :tongue5: You should just do this...

http://www.dailystab.com/ditto/

OMG, hilarious! I should! I'll take a picture of my neighbor's houses tonight so you can see. If I remember...

[twowhat?]

Agree that you should shrug off any "pressure" you think they are giving you.
Your house. Your decision. No guilt.

[kijip]

Actually, if I were in your shoes, I would be more likely NOT to put up lights, just b/c they are bugging you about it. :tongue5: You should just do this...

http://www.dailystab.com/ditto/

:hysterical:

[kristenk]

I'm not seeing the pressure. I think it might just be a misunderstanding of sorts. When they first asked you (last year?) when you were putting up your lights, you said that you didn't have any. You didn't say that you weren't planning to put any up or that you didn't want to put them up. They offered their extra lights so they could get rid of them and to "fix" your problem of not having any lights.

If they ask the same question this year, just explain that you're not planning to put any up (or don't want to put them up) because you have other things going on and the lights are lower down on the priority list.

If they truly get upset about it, that's their problem! No worries for you. Do whatever works for your family.

[ellies mom]

When I was in college, I lived in an "award winning Christmas light" neighborhood. One of my roommates was Jewish, both went out of town for the holidays and none of us could afford the lights and electric bill that went with it. So needless to say, we only had a token strand or two of lights and a garage door decorated like a pathetically wrapped gift. The rest of the neighbors had the full blown decorations that people come from miles around to see. Apparently on Thanksgiving weekend, they have a huge block decorating potluck party. We didn't know about it and we were all away for the weekend. We came back to a TPed house. It was absolutely nuts. From Thanksgiving weekend to New Years Eve, it was constant traffic every night. It would take ages to get in and out of the neighborhood. And people are so rude. We (the neighborhood) had to block off parking with cones and caution tape because people would block driveways and such. And the only way to get in and out of the driveway was for the passenger to get out of the car and physically stand in front of cars. It really put a damper on my enjoyment of Christmas lights. I'm mostly over it now (maybe not though, I seem to still have a lot of big feelings about it).

[TwoBees]

Last year, DH's friend called and mentioned that his neighbors were pressuring him to put up lights as well. He's Jewish, and doesn't do Christmas lights. Instead, he bought the largest, gaudiest inflatable menorah and other Chanukah paraphenelia he could find and placed those in his yard instead. He sent us a photo. It was HILARIOUS!

[rlu]

If you want the lights up, when/if the neighbors ask, have them help and offer them hot chocolate or something token in return. Or do you not want them up?

The town where MIL lives has an annual block party where the houses on a particular street decorate up and then block it off for all to visit - hot cider, Santa, snowhill, wandering carolers, Scrooge performs on one house's balcony, etc. If you buy a house on that street, it is part of the agreement that you participate (similar to historical house clauses regarding exterior paint colors, refurb instead of tear-down, etc).

[TwinFoxes]

I'm not seeing the pressure. I think it might just be a misunderstanding of sorts. When they first asked you (last year?) when you were putting up your lights, you said that you didn't have any. You didn't say that you weren't planning to put any up or that you didn't want to put them up. They offered their extra lights so they could get rid of them and to "fix" your problem of not having any lights.

If they ask the same question this year, just explain that you're not planning to put any up (or don't want to put them up) because you have other things going on and the lights are lower down on the priority list.

If they truly get upset about it, that's their problem! No worries for you. Do whatever works for your family.

Big :yeahthat: I wasn't there to hear tone. But to me it sounds like they were just making conversation, and then were being neighborly by giving you lights. If they actually get upset that is just weird.

[baileygirl]

I don't think you should feel pressured to put up lights if you don't want to. Some easy ideas would be to put a lighted wreath on your door (just get a wreath and put battery operated lights on it) or to get a set of the snow flakes (we have some that came in a set of 5) and just hang them in entry way of your home.

[maestramommy]

Boy, that really sucks. *I* would feel pressure if my neighbors started asking me when I was going to put up my lights. We are finally putting up candles in the windows for the first time in our 4th year. Then again, our street isn't heavily decorated.

[khm]

Last year, DH's friend called and mentioned that his neighbors were pressuring him to put up lights as well. He's Jewish, and doesn't do Christmas lights. Instead, he bought the largest, gaudiest inflatable menorah and other Chanukah paraphenelia he could find and placed those in his yard instead. He sent us a photo. It was HILARIOUS!

That's cool! Good for him!

[swissair81]

I think it's kind of rude to assume everyone celebrates Christmas or wants to put up lights. I get fairly passive aggressive about garbage like that. My nickname should really be 'Stonewall'.

[roseyloxs]

A lot of the houses around here actually put up lights around the windows but on the inside of the house. It's much easier to put up and easier to turn them on and off.

or you can throw one string of lights on a bush like my neighbor. I don't know how to describe how pathetic it looks. I seriously thought it was a joke the first time I saw it. Its literally a strand of 20 lights randomly thrown on a bush and not even in a nice way. I am laughing now just thinking about it. Its the only decorations they have out and there is no pressure at all on my street. I think maybe there are 3 houses on the street decorated and they are all like what I described at the top. Its so strange.

[dogmom]

I think it's kind of rude to assume everyone celebrates Christmas or wants to put up lights. I get fairly passive aggressive about garbage like that. My nickname should really be 'Stonewall'.

I'll up you one. I hate all that lawn crap so much, really, it's lousy for the environment, that I actively blow dandilion seeds in hopes they will take root.

It's one of the reasons that no one being able to see my house makes me a much better neighbor.

[indigo99]

We received an email from the HOA asking that everyone have their lights/decorations up by Dec 10 this year for the "light walk" which we've never heard of before.

[rlu]

I'll up you one. I hate all that lawn crap so much, really, it's lousy for the environment, that I actively blow dandilion seeds in hopes they will take root.


But then if they use weed'n'feed or some type of weed killer you're harming the environment too.

[ha98ed14]

Boy, that really sucks. *I* would feel pressure if my neighbors started asking me when I was going to put up my lights. We are finally putting up candles in the windows for the first time in our 4th year. Then again, our street isn't heavily decorated.

I think this is *MY* problem: I feel pressured even if they are just asking to make conversation/be friendly. But my whole street is decorated. I dunno how I could not feel pressure unless I was one of those people who didn't care what anyone else thought. If only...

[niccig]

Do you have a front window that will be send from the street?
We have one house on our block with high front windows, like above my head - you know how short I am. They have a candle light in each window...I like it.

But don't feel pressured to do it...we haven't gotten anything up yet either. I think I'll try to get DH to go low key - we have a couple of smaller things that we can put out that don't involved ladders and stringing lights along the eaves.

[MelissaTC]

I'm sorry but this thread made me think of the movie, "Christmas with the Kranks". They decide to skip Christmas and the neighborhood kids chant outside their home to free Frosty (the whole neighborhood has a tradition where they put the decorative snowman on their roof). Everyone in the movie flipped out because the couple decided to do something different.

My husband is all about the lights, blow up Santa, etc... It looks like a Christmas bomb went off on my front lawn. My neighbor is pretty similar. We live in a small cul-de-sac and while we don't attract people from afar, locals will either walk or drive over to see our houses and our lights are on the "tame " side. My one neighbor is from Belgium and thinks we are all nuts. I know she feels no pressure to decorate!

[TwoBees]

We received an email from the HOA asking that everyone have their lights/decorations up by Dec 10 this year for the "light walk" which we've never heard of before.

As in, your HOA requires that you decorate your house with lights, or that if you do choose to decorate, they would like it all done before Dec 10th? If the former, I'd be P.O.'ed

[boolady]

We just moved this year, and I thought our house was looking pretty nice...white candles in all of the windows, two 4" trees with white lights on either side of the front door (inside a glassed-in porch but totally visible), a fresh decorated wreath on the front door, a vintage sled propped up at the base of the steps, and garland up the banisters of the front porch.

Then, my next-door neighbor asked me if we were putting up lights and when I said I thought we were done decorating, she said, "Oh." What I should have said was that it looks pretty festive to me, but I didn't have the nerve. I guess she meant no harm, but I'll admit it left me feeling like a slacker. I spent hours decorating inside and out over the weekend. Why are people so concerned with what everyone else does?

[BabyBearsMom]

I wouldn't feel pressured. I'm sure they are just making conversation.

We have the opposite situation in that I think our lights must be making our neighbors feel pressured. We live in a neighborhood that is about 50-50 Christian-Muslim, so we don't usually see very many lit houses on our street. We always do something but nothing major. This year, since DD is starting to notice lights, my DH went out to Target and got beautiful decorations and put them up in hopes of wowing DD (he is so :heartbeat:). Well it seems to have wowed our neighbors as well. Neighbors keep stopping buy to tell us how pretty it looks and suddently neighbors who never had lights before have put up lights. Then yesterday, one of our Muslim neighbors put up lights! Now my DH feels bad, he thinks they might feel pressured to put up lights because of him. I think what really happened is that the family has young children as well and since their children liked them, they decided to put lights up.

[Gena]

We don't feel pressured by the neighbors. The neighbors on the one side go all out with lights, inflatable snowglobe, light up raindeer, Santa, etc. One the otherside is a sweet elderly couple who cover their house and shrubs with lights and put a lit-up nativity scene on their lawn the day after Halloween (yes, that's right - Halloween).

Well, I should say *I* don't feel pressured; DH might feel a little. But between long hours at work, short daylight, and bad weather, we don't always get the lights up. If we have a free day with clear weather, they go up, otherwise they don't. Oh well.

When I was a kid, my father's idea of decorating the house for Christmas consisted of replacing the white lightbulb in the porch light with a green lightbulb. That was it.

[lizzywednesday]

Not one bit.

We've got all kinds on our street and, while I love to see what everyone else has done, I don't expect a ton of crud up and about and I'd never ask my neighbors about their decorating plans.

If they do, they do; if not, hey, they're probably smart that way!

We have a 4-foot lighted wreath on our front windows. It's lovely and under-stated.

DD loves it.

[klwa]

Yay. Now I'm glad we live where we can't see any neighbors. :) Although we have a few (colored!) along the porch railing.