Not Sure What to Think (Worst/Most Inappropriate Gift)

[corrie23]

Not sure if this thread is posted elsewhere but I think that I need the therapeutic release of getting this off my chest and hearing that others have received awful gifts this holiday season.

So, the big winner for the most horribly inappropriate gift that we received this year:

My son is 21 mos old. He's our third and doesn't need much. I posted here asking for suggestions for what to "wish" for him from extended family. One suggestion was recordable storybooks-perfect suggestion for the out-of-town Grandparents (my ILs). They sent a cute story about a grandpa/grandson voiced by mi FIL. From my MIL.....the story "Love You Forever" by Robert Munsch. For those not familiar with the book, it tells the story of a mother and her son and how throughout his entire life, no matter how naughty he is she rocks him to sleep singing him the song, "I'll love you forever. I'll like you for always. As long as I'm living, my baby you'll be."

Now, apart from the general creepiness of this book (she climbs into his bed when he's a teen and rocks him while sleeping, she drives across town with a ladder on her car to climb into his window when he's an adult, etc.) the book ends with the mother aging and dying and the boy rocking her and singing to her right before she dies-NOT what I want my son (or daughters) hearing about. Adding to the general inappropriateness; this is voiced to my son (with his name) from my MIL (NOT his mother). And finally, to bring the inappropriateness to a whole other level, I was diagnosed with cancer when my son was a baby and went through treatment/surgery this past year. I pray every day that my son's mother will be there to watch him grow up, but I know there are no guarantees. Books about mommy dying are not on our general reading list.

Maybe if she ordered the book sight unseen from Amazon I would think it was just an oversight, but she NARRATED the book. She had to know what it was about yet she still sent it. I'm not really sure what to think. I do know that it will be in the trash in short order though.

So, what topped your worst gift list?

[ray7694]

Sorry to hear that. Maybe it would help to hear Robert Munsch read it:
http://robertmunsch.com/books

He is one of my favorite authors, but I understand giving the circumstances not a good choice.

[TwinFoxes]

:47:

Wow. I am so sorry OP.

[Jenny_A]

We have that book and I hate it! I agree, creepy story! Some people love the story... to each his own. In your MIL defense, she probably just thought it was a sweet story and didn't think it through! I'm sorry to you though!

DH bought both kids these guns that shoot foam discs. It comes with about 25 discs per gun. They are EVERYWHERE!! DD "accidentally" shot me in the face an it HURT! They LOVE them though. I'm waiting for the novelty to wear off and then they may "get lost". [insert evil laugh here]

[AngB]

You would be surprised how many people LOVE that book. It's been on the shelf in every 2 year old daycare room that I've ever worked at. (I tried to avoid reading it because I've always found it creepy too.) My guess is that they loved the sentiment of it ("we'll love you forever"!) and didn't really think through the appropriateness of it.

[barkley1]

I haven't read the book, but agree that it sounds creepy and inappropriate in several ways. I hate it when ppl put little thought into gifts like that. I'd throw it away, too!

[catsnkid]

Nowhere near yours. Bad on a different level. I actually thought it was funny.

Dh's grandma gave DS a play cell phone. It was OBVIOUSLY from the dollar store. It had writing in arabic and English on the front. The spider man sticker on the phone was ripped. The plastic was poorly trimmed and dinged. The battery area had no screw at all. When you press the buttons, it played middle eastern music. Don't think it meets US safety standards..

[jenfromnj]

I'm sorry! We were given that book when DS was a baby (though I'm sure in our case the giver didn't realize the content), and I was so creeped out by it that I took it off of DS's shelf so we wouldn't accidentally read it. So I can definitely see in your case how that would be really upsetting.

[Giantbear]

I hate that book!!! we were given it as a gift and i have only read it once.

Our most inappropriate gift was the one never given. I am just happy dd is too young to understand. After making a HUGE issue about buying DD an anywhere chair and getting upset when we suggested she give it to her early for thanksgiving, my SIL got DD nothing for the holidays.

[luckytwenty]

I thought that book was so weird when I was pregnant, but now it makes me cry.

That being said, given the circumstances, the cancer and the MIL=weirdness indeed! Ugh, I am sorry.

[SnuggleBuggles]

That book depresses the heck out of me but there are many, many people out there that love it. They must read it differently than I do and see it as something positive. So, I'd cut her slack. It is insensitive the way she did it so I am referring only to book choice. It is a staple in the bookstores so not everyone hates it.

[vludmilla]

Eek. Such a poor choice. I'm sorry you have to deal with it.

[maestramommy]

You would be surprised how many people LOVE that book. It's been on the shelf in every 2 year old daycare room that I've ever worked at. (I tried to avoid reading it because I've always found it creepy too.) My guess is that they loved the sentiment of it ("we'll love you forever"!) and didn't really think through the appropriateness of it.

I actually love this book. The first time I read it was in a B&N when I was in college looking for a gift for a new mom-to-be. I read it standing up and cried right there in the store. I ended up giving to the mom, and she loved it as well. She would read it to her son every night, and she made up a tune to sing the song too. I know it's not everyone's cup of tea, but I thought the sentiment of a mom loving her son in spite of the way he drove her nuts as an older kid and even when he didn't seem to need her anymore was lovely. And the way the son rocked her to sleep when she was old and went home to his baby daughter to do the same just brought that love full circle.

BUT OP, I fully understand why you are upset. I would chalk it up to MIL just not thinking through when she bought it. :hug:

[wendmatt]

You would be surprised how many people LOVE that book. It's been on the shelf in every 2 year old daycare room that I've ever worked at. (I tried to avoid reading it because I've always found it creepy too.) My guess is that they loved the sentiment of it ("we'll love you forever"!) and didn't really think through the appropriateness of it.

Yes this. I just took a childrens lit class and lots of people said they loved this book. We have it and I think it's creepy too (especially in your situation). I think that (hope at least) like pps said, the ILs thought it is a nice gesture and didn't think about you being sick.

[TxCat]

OP - never read the book, but agree that it sounds creepy and melodramatic. I think I would put it on a high shelf somewhere and forget about it.



Nowhere near yours. Bad on a different level. I actually thought it was funny.

Dh's grandma gave DS a play cell phone. It was OBVIOUSLY from the dollar store. It had writing in arabic and English on the front. The spider man sticker on the phone was ripped. The plastic was poorly trimmed and dinged. The battery area had no screw at all. When you press the buttons, it played middle eastern music. Don't think it meets US safety standards..

Okay, this is hilarious. :ROTFLMAO: I'm giggling every time I imagine the middle eastern pop music going off. Too funny for words.

[crl]

I am so sorry. I don't like that book either, but I know some people love it.

If it makes you feel any better, my MIL sent food my ds is allergic to for us for Christmas--for the third year in a row. Here's my thread in the BP: http://windsorpeak.com/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=420328

Catherine

[okinawama]

I'm in the "love the book"camp! I get teary eyed reading it every.single.time.

However, I feel in your situation, your MIL wasn't really thinking when she gave your LO this gift.

[Tinochka]

Want to keep my opinion to myself...

[corrie23]

Thank you all for playing along.I love hearing about the other "duds" although I totally want that Arabic pop music phone just for the comic relief (and my kids have FAs too so I feel you on the "hope you enjoy this thing that you can't have" gift).

Question for those of you who love this book, how would you feel if you received a recordable version of it voiced by your MIL to your child (even if you love the book as a mother to child story)?

[emily]

A friend gave me that book when I was pregnant with DC1. She said it was one of her favorites... totally creeps me out tho.

In your circumstance, really odd choice of by MIL.

[Tinochka]

Thank you all for playing along.I love hearing about the other "duds" although I totally want that Arabic pop music phone just for the comic relief (and my kids have FAs too so I feel you on the "hope you enjoy this thing that you can't have" gift).

Question for those of you who love this book, how would you feel if you received a recordable version of it voiced by your MIL to your child (even if you love the book as a mother to child story)?

If I don’t like it, I just put it aside.... However, we have very good ILs, they love our kids, it will not bother me.

[KathyN115]

Well, I am not familiar with the book, but based on what I read here, it would definitely bother me. Especially given your history the past year. I hope that it was just an oversight on her part, and I do not think you should think twice about tossing it in the trash. Of course, I don't like my MIL too much, so I am sure that she would have done it on purpose :rotflmao:.

Hope you are feeling well OP and that the new year brings great health!!!

[MMMommy]

Not a fan of the book, but it is a beloved classic to many. In fact, I remember the episode of Friends where Joey narrated the book to a pregnant Rachel, and everyone was touched and in tears. And Rachel said it was the best baby gift ever. I think Phoebe was mad bc Joey's gift outshone her gift, and bc Joey thought of it last minute bc he didn't buy a gift. It was a funny episode.

[maestramommy]

Question for those of you who love this book, how would you feel if you received a recordable version of it voiced by your MIL to your child (even if you love the book as a mother to child story)?

I would love it. But I love my MIL, and I can totally see her doing something like this if she thought of it. She loves my kids, loves playing with them. They think of her as the "fun times" amah, though they don't say that. My mom loves the kids too, but she would never do something like this. She'd think her English was too halting, and she's never read to the kids, and doesn't play with them much. But she takes care of them very well. Just different style. My kids love her too.

[alexsmommy]

As many have said, tons of people love the book, so your MIL may have gotten is as a suggested "favorite" from others or herself love it. In your situation I can completely understand your reaction, but I do see where your MIL did not mean to upset you in any way when making the choice and just didn't think it through. Sorry it upset you so badly. If have found people either completely love it or completely hate it.
My reaction to my MIL reading it would depend on my MIL's personality. If she was possessive and blurred the lines of her role I'd wonder her underlying motive. If she was generous, open-hearted and a great grandmother, then I'd assume she was just looking for a book with a message of love and didn't really think about it being "narrated" by the child's mother.

[hellokitty]

I'm sorry. I agree that it was a thoughtless gift, esp since you have been going through cancer treatment and being there for your kids is already something that you have thought a lot about. FWIW, I think that it's not unusual for older ppl to not think about this sort of thing. I could see both my mom and my mil seeing the book cover, thinking, "oh, that's a children's book" and thinking that it qualifies as a good book, just b/c it qualifies as a children's book. I'm not saying that it's right, b/c I too would be annoyed if I were in your shoes, but at the same time, I could imagine my mom and mil doing the same thing. The trash/donate idea is a good one.

I've gotten plenty of inappropriate gifts (my dad and mils usually give more inappropriate gifts than good ones), but not this yr.

[veronica]

While I do like the book, it certainly is innappropriate for your situation. I am so sorry.

My aunt gave me a scarf , with no tags, that reeked of "stuff this in the re-gift section of the closet". It came with an ornament for the tree......dated 2010.

[elektra]

That book is horrible and I cannot top that as far as worst/innappropriate gifts go!
Her giving that to your son with her narrating and all that is wrong on so many levels.

[theriviera]

That book is horrible and I cannot top that as far as worst/innappropriate gifts go!
Her giving that to your son with her narrating and all that is wrong on so many levels.

:yeahthat:

[Cam&Clay]

HATE that book. It's so creepy.

Most inappropriate gift here was for DS1 from XH's mom. A pair of Harley Davidson sunglasses. Really? DS1 showed them to me and said, "When did I ever say I liked motorcycles?" They also gave him an expensive digital camera AGAIN. They give him a new one every few years and he has yet to take a single picture with one. He doesn't like photography. He uses his phone to take pics. I begged her not to buy him one anymore. And she did.

[arivecchi]

Omg. That is horrible OP! I think any MIL narrating that book is super creepy - regardless of intent.

My kids got football helmets from a big football school that we did not attend. Did I mention that my kids are 2 and 5? What the heck are they going to do with football helmets?!

[mommylamb]

Ick! We have that book (given to us as a gift and for the life of me, I can't remember who gave it to us) and I really hate it!!!! But so inappropriate in your situation.

[ast96]

OP, just so you know you are not alone, I would have been completely upset in your situation. I don't like the book either, Even though I like the author and I appreciate the story behind the book. I think that those of us with inappropriate MILs are more likely get why you don't like the book and why it is especially creepy when narrated by your MIL. I would have thrown it away by now.

[sntm]

Personally, I really like the book (and DS loves it and frequently references the day when he will become a crazy teenager.) I don't know your MIL, but even with your history of cancer, she could have meant it in a very positive way - a reminder that even if something bad did happen to you, your love would still be there and would outlast that. It was probably a sucky reminder for you (or for any of us of our potential mortality).

In example, when I was going though a really nasty divorce in which my jerk XH was trying to get sole custody because I had to move out of state for fellowship, I bought a book for DS that basically talked about no matter where he was, I would always find him and be there for him.

[AnnieW625]

My dad gave me that book when I was in high school as a Christmas present. I never ear it until I had DD1 10-12 yrs. later and I just couldn't finish it because it creeped me out. I just keep it on the shelf in DD1's room and if she wants to read it later that is fine, but for me it's mix of creepiness and emotional attachment is just too much to read to her now.