18 month old sleep (or lack of!)

[EJensen]

My 18 month old wakes up so early, screaming, and also screams most of his naps now!

We were very good about teaching him to self soothe since he was capable of not needing a feeding at night (6 months) but it took him 2 months of crying every night to actually learn it (I thought it was only supposed to take 3 days?!). He was doing well for about 6 months but just in the last month, he's been waking up at night screaming for over an hour or two. We don't go check on him. Ever. We sleep with earplugs but his scream is so loud the earplugs can't even drown it out. He has a solid bedtime routine and puts himself to sleep at night but wakes up in the middle of the night and screams and screams and screams. Even if he does fall back to sleep momentarily, he'll continue to scream most of the night. We won't get him before 6 am (still too early in my opinion but he's just an early riser - definitey didn't get that from me!). We've been letting him cry it out (CIO sorry, I'm new and don't know all the acronyms - what is DD, DS, DH??) but this has been going on now for weeks. Isn't he supposed to learn by now that we aren't coming for him before 6 am?

I feel like we've done everything right: solid bedtime routine, taught him to self-soothe, we don't go check on him or encourage his protests, he has loveys in his crib, in bed by 8 pm and we won't get him before 6 am.... but he still protests almost every night and now he's doing it at nap time too! his daycare said he's now doing it there too (he used to sleep a solid 2 hours during the day). Any ideas!?! I'm so tired!

[Uno-Mom]

You might re-post this question in the Lounge, this part of the board doesn't get much traffic...

There are lots of opinions here about CIO. It worked well for us but we never had that amount of crying. Since it's a sudden change and it's so intense and long, honestly I'd check into whether something is really wrong. Is he possibly wet or poopy and uncomfortable?

Our daughter is a great sleeper and when she wakes up and gets truly upset, we do go in and check her. We don't turn the light on, no cuddling or talking. Just patting her and checking her diaper. Then we leave. It works well for us.

If it loops and loops and he gets extremely upset, he might be getting a negative association with his bed. You might consider breaking that up with a brief check and reassurance so he knows he isn't abandoned but he still understands that it's sleep time.

[Uno-Mom]

dd=dear daughter (dd1 = oldest daughter, dd2=2nd daughter, etc)
ds=dear son
dh=dear husband

:)

[rin]

An hour+ crying is really a long time; I'd also wonder if something else was going on. He might be teething, thirsty, or possibly having nightmares.

I really think that little kids do sometimes need their parents in the middle of the night, and that doesn't necessarily go away once they're done nursing/taking nighttime bottles. Our DD (now 20 months) sometimes wakes up asking for water and will down half a sippy cup, so it's clear she was very thirsty and parched, or she'll wake up crying in what is obviously a scared way, so I suspect she had a nightmare. I would be very concerned to sleep with earplugs while my baby/toddler was in another room, since I'd be worried I wasn't hearing their genuine cries for help/assistance. IME it's not reasonable to expect an 18-month old to sleep through the night, every night, without parental care.

As a PP said, I'd worry that leaving him to cry in his crib could be creating a negative association, which might be why he's starting to cry so much at naps/etc. He's getting older and more cognitively sophisticated; part of that may involve him realizing that once he's put in the crib he's left all alone and he's starting to freak out about not being able to have his needs met during that time. I would very seriously consider starting to go in to check on him after a few minutes of crying; it might result in a few nights of less sleep but I'd worry that he's starting to be a bit traumatized by being left alone in the crib all night.

[mikala]

I agree with UnoMom and Rin's comments.

My child is several months older and has consistently slept through the night for awhile but still has moments in the middle of the night where he really does need us. In the past month we've had one sudden high fever in the middle of the night, two diaper leaks where he soaked himself and the bed and at least one nightmare where he just needed a quick reassuring cuddle and a lullaby. These are all just examples with an older child and I'm sure we had more at 18 months.

As far as waking up early some kids are just programmed to be early risers just like some adults wake up early and others prefer to sleep in. Blackout curtains can help a lot and I think some of the sleep books also had suggestions of other things to try to gently slide their schedules.

[nfowife]

I'm sorry, I think CIO is a great technique and have used it successfully at different times with all my children with success. But I think crying for 1-2 hours in the middle of the night consistently for more than a few days indicates, to me at least, that CIO is not working for your ds right now. I would go to him, comfort him, and put him down when he's calm. Then give it 10-20 minutes and if he's still crying again, go in again. Increase by 10 minutes each time.
I just think something else is going on, and want to tell you it's OK to go in there and comfort him.