at what age did you let your DC go up/down stairs totally unattended?

[lmh2402]

DS climbs stairs easily on his own, but we're always right there behind him. similarly, coming down i'm always right in front of him and he often wants to hold my hand.

yesterday out of the blue, i ran upstairs to get my watch and turned around and there he was. literally, it was like a 60 second thing.

he did it two more times yesterday

and he's never done that before - just taken himself on the stairs without waiting for an adult

so i'm thinking it's time to start using the gate at the bottom of the stairs to keep him off of them when we aren't looking. we have it installed we just almost never use it - at this point, we only use it during playdates to keep others down on the main living floor.

but DH said, "oh, well he's 2.5...so maybe he's ready to start going up and down when he wants."

i am feeling pretty strongly that he's much too young.

we use the gate at the top of the stairs religiously - if he is with us, when we reach the top, we close the gate.

anyway, wondering what age you allowed your kids to access the stairs without you being around.

thanks.

[brittone2]

It was earlier with each kid. I don't remember as much with the older kids but DS2 is 21 months and is up/down fairly regularly on his own. We are usually next to him, but with two other kids in the house, etc. he's quite frequently heading up and down on his own now. I wouldn't be as nervous, but the bottom of my stairway from the first to 2nd floor is slate. Not very fall friendly.

DS1 walked later than DD and DS2 (DS1 was about 13.5 months) and was more cautious by nature. DD walked pretty early-by 9/10 months and was much less cautious. She also managed the stairs pretty early on, but it was easier to control the environment back then, and no slate at the bottom of the stairs.

[KrisM]

It was earlier with each kid here too. DS1 was about 22 months. We have him coming down on video for some reason :). DD was closer to 20 and DS2 was about 18 months.

[wellyes]

I think DD was almost 3.
It's not if they can get up, it's how well they can get down IMO.

[lalasmama]

As a nanny, I remember purposely teaching the kids how to get down the stairs on their belly, feet first, at about 15 months old. Why? Because with older siblings all around, I knew at some point, they were going to see big kids on the floor where they aren't, and they would do anything to get up/down there... and it would be the day that the siblings (or me) missed latching the gate. So, I figured better to teach them young....

By 2yo, I've seen many kids "booty bump" the way down (you know, feet first, on their booty).

A PP pointed out that the composition of the stairs matters, and I whole-heartedly agree. We've *always* had padded, carpeted stairs. If they weren't, then the ages would be a little higher for me.

[lmh2402]

we are all hard wood and the stairs turn, so it's three steps down, then little platform and right angle then i think like 14 steps down to little platform and then right angle again and three more steps down. we don't have floor coverings in any of our hallways or on the steps.

and the staircase is sort of dark. it's right smack in the middle of the house, so there's a big landing around it upstairs with no windows in the hallway.

it just makes me nervous. but i guess he has to learn/start some time.

ok, thanks guys.

re: booty bumping - he has never been willing to do that. ever. he just refused to go down the stairs on his own until he could step down them. before that, he wanted to be carried and really actually refused to do it any other way.

[SnuggleBuggles]

Around 18-24m.

eta- carpeted stairs but hardwoods at the bottom.

etaa- I don't know if we did unattended yet at that age. Like others said, it is more a question of being comfortable with them being on a different floor from someone. Also, like others have said, ds2 was allowed more freedom earlier than ds1.

[ErinMC]

It was earlier with each kid. I don't remember as much with the older kids but DS2 is 21 months and is up/down fairly regularly on his own. We are usually next to him, but with two other kids in the house, etc. he's quite frequently heading up and down on his own now.

This, with my DD. she is almost 27 months and often goes up and down
the stairs on her own. With DS1 I was much more cautious. I haven't latched
the gate at the top of the stairs in almost 6 months.

[Uno-Mom]

It's out of my hands, I'm afraid. We don't have stairs in our home but my parents do. They watch Sprog on Fridays and that's where she practices stairs.

When we're there, they seem more conscious and quick to react and make sure somebody shadows her or at least stay at the bottom to break a fall. I'm pretty sure they just keep visual range when we're not there. :)

Sprog just turned 2. I'm kind of glad I don't have to worry about this one parentind decision. I'm also glad she does have a house with stairs for practice - I know kids are more prone to injury if they don't get to practice.

[theriviera]

Around 18-24m.

we also have all hardwood stairs.

[Green_Tea]

I'd say somewhere between 18-24 months. We have all wood stairs as well.

[edurnemk]

I'm pretty paranoid about stairs, and since we don't have stairs at home I feel DS doesn't have as much "practice". He started going up and down the stairs at my parents' (they have top and bottom gates but he figured out how to open the bottom one) and at my IL's on his own around 3.5 yo. But we still all freak out when we realize he went upstairs without anyone noticing :rotflmao: I know I should let him do it, he's almost 4 for crying out loud!

[Smillow]

My DS goes up and down our stairs all day (and has for about the past year?), he is pretty good about asking for help when he is tired or carrying too much to hold onto the rail. I worry about down more than up.

[Staraglimmer]

3-3.5. I think it depends on the kid though.


-Stephanie
Mommy to Hailey Michelle 4/08
& a new addition due 7/1/12

[o_mom]

We moved when Ds3 was 14 mos and didn't bother putting up gates in the new house.

[SkyrMommy]

Around 24 months, we have one set of stairs that are carpeted and one hardwood set. DD is very cautious and always hangs on to the railings and if she needs help she's very good at stopping and asking for a hand.

[ellies mom]

Well, for me there is a difference between feeling comfortable letting a kid navigate the stairs on their own and feeling comfortable with them being on another floor on their own. By the time my kids were two years old they were easily navigating the stairs safely. With my oldest, we kept a gate up until she was about 18 months old because she wasn't as likely to vanish. With my youngest we kept the gate up until she was 2.5 because she was way more likely to head upstairs and wreak havoc. So the gate was more for keeping them corralled rather than preventing falls.

[3blackcats]

My 2yo broke her leg falling down the stairs. So my answer now is about 15 years old :)

[arivecchi]

My kids could navigate the stairs around 18-24 months, but there is no way I would let a child that young do stairs unattended. I felt comfortable around 3.5 with DS1. Not there yet with DS2 who is almost 3. We have hardwood stairs and gates at the top and bottom of the stairs.

[AngelaS]

Shortly after a year. I taught them all to slide down feet first on their bellies. None of them ever fell. :)

[BayGirl2]

We recently started walking away from DS as he goes down himself, he's 2.5. He is very cautious and slow going down. Our stairs have two landings and are all carpeted, so that helps.

[karstmama]

totally unattended? about 4.

he knew how, but we kept them gated to avoid him roaming except in one area. we just relaxed the gating in the past 6 mo or so because he'll pretty much stay in 'his' area.

but he's special needs, so i'm certainly not advocating for this, just being a data point.

[Cam&Clay]

DS1 fell down our carpeted stairs at 18 months and had to have 7 stitches over his eyebrow. Carpeted stairs don't matter. I even asked at the ER how he could've gotten the gash from carpeted stairs. They said the blunt force of falling is enough. It was very traumatic for him and for me!

As a result, I am very paranoid about stairs. DS2 is 4 and he has probably been going up and down on his own for about 6 months.

[♥ms.pacman♥]

DS is about 2 and i he is physically able to go up and down by himself (probably has been for about 6 months). However, there's no way on god's green earth that I would ever allow him to go up and down totally on his own...I know too many cases of kids falling and breaking something. Plus, i can't imagine being downstairs and having my DS being able to go up and downstairs on his own, play upstairs on his own for a long time without me being able to hear what was going on or even know where he was. DS is pretty active, rough-n-tumble curious boy, we have a fairly large house, I'm often busy with DD in her room (changing her, nursing her, etc) so maybe that colors my opinion..i can't really keep tabs on him constantly. I probably wouldn't let him until he was about 3, at least, but then we have DD so it probably may be later.

The bottom stairs are gated, as well as the top...though now when we're upstairs i could probably leave it open and he would not attempt to go down on his own..he knows he's not supposed to do that.

when he wants to goes upstairs, i open the gate, and he walks up on his own but i stay a few steps below in case he falls. then when we go down stairs he holds my hand and steps down each step.

eta: i totally agree with wellyes, it's going DOWN stairs that seems very dangerous to me... going up is the easy part. right now DS is too short to really hold the rail probably when going downstairs.

[vludmilla]

We allowed DD to go up and down stairs when we moved to this house when she was 3yrs, 10 months. We have two full staircases here and I thought it wasn't realistic to block her from traveling up and down and it seemed weird to gate them when she was almost 4. She has stumbled on the stairs a few times and fallen down maybe the last three or so and it scared the heck out of her and me but she wasn't injured.

[mousemom]

We moved from an apartment with no stairs to a house with stairs when DS was about 2 years, 7 months old. We never felt the need to put a gate up here. For the first few weeks, he would hold the railing and a hand when going up and down. But since then he has been fine going up and down on his own. We really focused on him holding the railing everytime he goes up and down and he's always been good about that. I think a lot depends in the steps, too. Ours are wide and not very steep. At both our in-laws houses, we insist he still hold a hand b/c their steps are much steeper.

[waitingforgrace]

Around 20-22 months.

[AnnieW625]

DD1 would go up and down stairs on her bottom or climb up on her knees before she could walk so about 15-16 months. Full on walking down by herself she was about 2. DD2 was just starting to investigate going down the stairs at my grandma's at 18 months old. She had just started walking at 16 months old about 6 weeks prior.

[twowhat?]

I am JUST starting to get comfortable with letting ours do it alone - they are 3 years 4 months. Our stairs are hardwood and not gated - we bought good Cardinal gates for both the top and the bottom to install because we moved into our new house just before the girls turned 3...but at first we were always right there with them because they were new to stairs. And we just never got around to installing the gates.

We have had just one fall - DD2 put on a pair of DH's socks and went upstairs, and then she tried to come down. I was right there with her but there was no catching her - her feet FLEW out from under her and she landed flat on her belly and started sliding thump-thump-thump down the stairs. I remember my first thought being "HOW could she possibly be crashing down the stairs THAT fast???" It scared the living daylights out of me. She only fell maybe 8 stairs and then DH who was waiting halfway down the stairs caught her. She was scared sh!tless and crying, but fine. Ever since that fall, BOTH girls have been VERY cautious going down the stairs and take the very top part scooting down on their butts. They only stand up once they get halfway down. Only in the past few days has DD2 started going down the stairs the regular way while holding the banister.

We have a no socks rule on the stairs. I STILL can't believe how fast DD2 came crashing down the stairs. There was no way I could've caught her.

Both of our girls are naturally VERY cautious and it's reflected in how carefully they navigate the stairs...so I am JUST starting to get comfy letting them do it alone, though the rule is that they must tell me if they are going up or down, and because of the layout of our house (very open, staircase right in the center) I always walk over there to watch and I always remind them "slowly and carefully". Only in the past few days have I been OK with not watching (and just listening) while they are going UP. I agree that down is what scares me - I still always watch as they come down.

Our dogs were my other worry (knocking them over on the stairs) but thankfully our male dog is too lazy to go up and down the stairs and our female (bless her golden little heart) WAITS for the girls to get all the way to the bottom before she comes down. She is a pot of gold.

eta: our stairs have NO landing - straight down and slight curve at the bottom. If we had a landing, I would feel a lot better letting them do it alone earlier.

[maestramommy]

Actually pretty early on. Arwyn was going up the stairs by herself by 15 months? (climbing, not walking). Course she took a tumble right in front of me too. Laurel, well that was tough because she had two older sisters. We had a "gate" at the top of the stairs, but not the bottom. The gate was just a section of superyard that we wire tied to the bannister. When it was closed the baby couldn't get down by herself. But there was nothing to stop her from going up the stairs. One day I was working in the kitchen, suddenly realized Laurel (who had been right there drinking her bottle) was gone. But I could hear her calling me. I went looking for her, and there she was sitting at the top of the stairs, with an empty bottle. I freaked (stupidly, since it was too late anyway), and said, "Baby! Did you just climb up the stairs??" and she smiled and said, "yeah!" She was about 10.5 months old. We did keep that gate there until she was about 18 months old. But all the kids have been up, down those stairs since pretty early on. I have no idea about any of it. I did start to worry when she started jumping from the step to the landing. Arwyn likes to jump from 2 or 3 steps up. It's only a matter of time....

We have hardwood, but with a carpet runner. It's about 8-10 steps down, then turn and two more steps to ceramic tile.