View Full Version : I want to cry. Having DS evaluated for Aspergers again.

01-03-2012, 03:22 PM
The last 2-3 months have been hellacious with DS#1. It got even worse on the holiday break. Now I know what the poor teachers have been dealing with.

He already has a diagnoses of ADHD and SPD. He was evaluated for Aspergers when he was younger, was given a "wait and see" approach, and we all thought he was aging out of the more worrisome behaviors, and things were looking better. The Aspergers diagnoses was taken of the table/list of concerns about 2 years ago.

But now, I can see it, clear as day in my opinion. And I'm so sad, scared, frustrated and angry. I'm tired of the ongoing problems that never seem to end.
I'm sad that I can't give more to my other children who get less attention because he sucks up so much of it. And I'm worried about needing more of myself to give when the baby arrives.

It's mentally and emotionally tiring of always judging my parenting success based upon how he is acting and doing. That's really short-changing myself, since my other two children are angels, and doing positively wonderful. It's hard to remember that when I feel like I'm failing with one child. And then to remind myself that *I* am not failing--he is just a very difficult child with SN, and I do not have total control over that. Its not my fault.

I made an ASAP appointment with his Ped. for tommorrow, to get a recc for a specialist. I don't think his current doctor is going to cut it for the evaluations & therapy I want done.

Sigh. I needed to vent. And I need P&PT.

01-03-2012, 03:25 PM
Many P&PT for you!! You can get through this - you have already taken a first step by calling the ped.

HUGS!! :hug:

01-03-2012, 03:26 PM
I know it must be really, really hard. You are doing a great job. Hugs to you . :hug:

01-03-2012, 03:30 PM
You're right, this is not your fault. You are a great mom who is facing a challenging situation. Hang in there, we are here for you.

01-03-2012, 03:30 PM
Hugs to you. I hope you get some answers soon.

01-03-2012, 03:52 PM
I nope ypu get answers soon. Try not to blame yourself. Sending hugs.

01-03-2012, 04:15 PM
Oh, I'm so sorry. Hope you find the answers. P & PT for sure.

01-03-2012, 04:47 PM
:hug: It's not your fault. You are an amazing mom.

It's not your fault. You are an amazing mom.

It's not your fault. You are an amazing mom.

(Three times, but imagine it times 1000).

You know the fact that it's that really trying time of year, and I'm sure that pregnancy isn't making it much easier can only be adding on to it too. Do what you've got to do to get through the next couple of weeks, and be nice to yourself. We're here for you.

01-03-2012, 04:57 PM
:kisscheek: Thanks gals.

01-03-2012, 05:05 PM
Hugs. It can be really hard to let go of that sense of guilt, even when you intellectually know that it's not your fault.

Holiday breaks are really difficult for a lot of SN kids, especially those that thrive on routine. It's been challenging for us too.

I hope things go well at the appointment tomorrow. P&PT

01-03-2012, 06:04 PM
Special needs are tough. It sucks that issues/behaviors/symptoms can wax and wane...it's nice to think that you've crossed something off the list and put it behind you, and then it sucks when you are facing challenges again. I've experienced it myself.

Good luck in finding answers. Hope you find someone with good insights to properly diagnose and to develop a good action plan.

And please, oh please, don't find fault with yourself. It sounds like you are an awesome parent and all your kids are lucky to have you!

01-03-2012, 06:11 PM
:hug::hug::hug: Hang in there.

01-03-2012, 06:26 PM


01-03-2012, 07:02 PM
Hugs, hugs and more hugs!!!

01-03-2012, 07:59 PM
:22: It is so hard to constantly re-evaluate your approach to everything and to constantly wonder if you are doing the right thing. You are a great mama and a great advocate for your DS. Sending P&PT for a positive, helpful appointment tomorrow.

01-03-2012, 09:05 PM
I just wanted to give you a hug :grouphug:. Sorry things are so hard right now. You are going to do a great job getting the support you need! I know it!

01-03-2012, 09:56 PM
Hang in there! I have been down the same road this year. It is not easy, but at least we have some explanations.


Gena, I LOVE the quote in your signature line.

01-04-2012, 12:26 AM
So sorry you're feeling this way, and I also understand. I feel similarly about my DS who has a learning disability and is also highly sensitive - and lately has been more so. I feel like all of my energy is going to him and poor DD gets much less attention. Even though I intellectually know it isn't my fault I still find myself feeling guilty. Hang in there and know that you are not alone!

01-04-2012, 11:44 AM
amy - :hug: :hug: :hug:

as you know, i often feel like you are blazing our trail so to speak

more :hug:

there is no way that what is going on with your DS is your "fault" or your failure, but i so understand the anguish :hug:

01-04-2012, 01:13 PM
:hug: I hope you get the answers you need soon.

Try to remember you are the best mom for your son. He is lucky to have you in his corner.

01-06-2012, 10:10 AM
I understand the frustration. :hug: It is hard. There is nothing wrong with saying and embracing the situation. Once you have the diagnosis there are more services available to you through school and therapy. There are many sucessful adults with ASD. It is hard right now but with time and therapy he will grow and these behaviors will lessen.

Not to deminish your situation, I have three ASD kids 8, 6 and 4 the oldest being the most severe. The oldest and youngest to not talk at all. I have a lot of parents of SN kids tell me they feel guilty complaining to me about how hard it is to parent their child when I've got three. I remind them that every path is different and that mine are all in the same "boat" so to speak. I don't know what it is like to have to tell one child "no you can't sign up for T-ball because your brother has therapy and we can't do both". The best thing I have going for me is a supportive husband and family. Next is our therapy center and the parents in the waiting room. No one gives as much support as someone who knows what you are going through. Reach out to ASD groups. Attend ASD seminars and classes. It is amazing how much information you can gleam from other parents in the trenches.

01-08-2012, 06:58 AM
I just want to commend you for not sticking your head in the clouds. Even though you have a lot on your plate with a new one on the way, you are choosing to do what is best for your child. Way to go mama!