s/o: Do you feel how your DC are dressed reflects greatly on you?

[smiles33]

Just a s/o on the thread about DHs who dress DC in poorly coordinated outfits. Do you feel like how your DC are dressed reflects greatly on you? Is it important to you that your DC look cute?

I guess I'm very laid-back on this issue. I've let DDs pick their own outfits as soon as they were old enough to do so (around age 2.5?). I do buy the clothing so it's not like I intentionally pick bold colors or loud prints, but they sometimes are paired "awkwardly" depending on DDs' moods. I really find it charming that they match things as they wish, even if it's a black Halloween themed dress (mini embroidered pumpkins, witches, cats, etc.) with pink and purple striped leggings (DD2's outfit this morning!). I would post a photo but she had an accident and is now in an all-pink outfit that looks more conventional.

They will quickly outgrow the mix-and-match clothing stage and I think it's so fun to look back at photos of them in funny outfits and see how they expressed themselves that way.

Now, I will make sure it's weather-appropriate, school-appropriate (no tutu or other dress-up clothes at school), and clean (e.g., wearing the same outfit again the next day is not allowed, no matter how much you love it!). I also make exceptions for special events like weddings or family photos and choose their outfits.

I know DH has jokingly told me it's not fair, as the old preschool teachers probably assumed HE was choosing the outfits (he used to do all the drop-offs for DD1's preschool) but I didn't think it was a big deal at all.

Do you? Poll coming.

[khalloc]

I voted #3, that i let them pick their outfits except for special occassions. BUT, I usually pick my kids outfits each morning. But if they protest on whatever I have picked, I let them where what they want instead (within reason). I try to encourage matching for DD. She has a wild sense of fashion. She will wear things that dont remotely even go together. So I do try to steer her away from things like that. But if they dont like what I picked then they pick their own.

[smilequeen]

I'm probably somewhere between the first and the second. I'm not sure I believe that they way they are dressed actually reflects anything on me, but at the same time I prefer that they look nice most of the time and I really enjoy shopping for and dressing little kids. So it probably shows that I have given up some of the control over my 7 year old and he tends to look sporty most of the time while the other 2 are more well dressed b/c they don't care :) (Well, my 4 year old cares, but he *loves* pretty much everything :))

[Uno-Mom]

I voted other because Sprog picks her clothes out whenever she's I'm the mood to care and I think her goofy outfits reflect on me... In a GOOD way. Because toddlers should dress that way. :). In fact, i've been known to encourage increased goofiness just for fun factor: "hey, I think your pirate hat would be fun" ...

When she doesn't have an opinion (about 80% of the time) I do like to dress her by my definition of cute, which is still kind of funky. I'm not a matchy-matchy kind of person. So you'll see my kid wearing her teal velvet twirling dress over jeans and it might be all my doing!

My big sensitivity is when things are too tight or too small.

[gatorsmom]

Sometimes it matters to me what they wear, other times not. Going on a fun outing? I don't care. For holidays, going to church or a school event- I dress them. Yes, to some extent I feel it reflects on me but in many different ways. Am I a relaxed mom or anal? Do I care if they are perfectly dressed for library story time or do I let them be creative and choose what they want? Do I let them wear shorts or holey jeans to mass or insist on clean, pressed pants with a collared shirt? I think all those situations say something about ME. But there is the possibility that others dont' see things the same way as I assume they see them. My mother was more strict about that sort of thing and I think it rubbed off on me too.

[Kindra178]

Other then for church or special occasions, my boys can pick whatever they want. They all like different things on their long sleeve ts, so they never dress alike on a daily basis. I do like it when they all match or coordinate for special occasions though! I also like it when their outerwear matches or coordinates. I think I have settled on winter jackets where we can accomplish my coordination obsession, so we will even have the hand me downs coordinate.

[edurnemk]

I let DS pick out his clothes but I'll give him guidelines. For example, I'll tell him he has to pick out warm clothes if it's cold out, or a nicer outfit if we're going somewhere nice (I'll specify no sweatpants or t-shirts). I've taught him about coordinating colors or at least to make sure they don't clash, he's better at that than DH! For important events I do pick out his outfits.

I do take care that he always wears clean clothes, has a clean face and his hair is combed. I do think it reflects on me. I don't think a mismatched outfit on a school day is a big deal, though.

DH's cousin and his wife have much lower standards regarding their kids' appearance and their home's cleanliness and order (FIL says I'm too polite, that they're just lazy slobs). I don't mind, but I hear all the criticism they get from the IL's (behind their backs, sadly) and I feel mortified. So I do feel parents are judged by their kids appearances. Though in this case it's not just mismatched outfits, which I don't think is a big deal on a regular day, these kids look like they haven't seen a comb in a week, their clothes are all wrinkled, sometimes not entirely clean, etc. The cousin and his wife always looked underdressed and her hair is always a mess (even for fancy occasions), as well, so it's just the whole family giving off this image. I'm just sad at all the negative comments I hear about them.

[Multimama]

DS went through a phase where he was very picky about what he would wear and I felt grateful just to get him in clothes at all. (During that time he sometimes wore shorts or old pants that were not the right size and/or not appropriate to the season. Babylegs saved the day.)

But yes, I definitely felt that his outfits reflected on me. It didn't *bother* me, but I did sometimes explain to other moms with cutely dressed toddlers that this was the only shirt/pant combo he would agree to wear today. Now I am teaching him about matching and he seems to enjoy it. :)

[pb&j]

I was lucky enough to be in a career that required a uniform for 8+ years, and I miss those days. I hate picking out my own clothes, so I don't burden myself with picking out DC's clothes, either. On a rare special occasion I will limit their choices or pick for them.

I assume my kids' appearance reflects on me, and what it reflects is that I encourage creativity and self-sufficiency. :)

[kijip]

I dress F, who is three but give him choices.

T, who is 8.5 is on his own in nearly every situation (unless I tell him he is wearing his suit to something special). T pretty much only wears slender jeans and polo shirts, often with a stripe. Sometimes he layers on a sweater. Sometimes a t-shirt instead of a polo but mostly not. I hate polo shirts and think they are silly. It is what he likes. I don't worry what people will think of me to see him in a polo shirt though I suppose some people assume that I make him dress him that way. If only they knew. The only rule I impose is that socks are not optional if you are wearing shoes and that a sweater or sweatshirt may be required if the weather is nippy enough. Oh and that sandals/crocs are not an option when it is fall and winter.

[TwinFoxes]

I love picking out DD's clothes, and they have shown very little desire to do it themselves. So right now they're my little dressy-Bessies. :) But I just can not imagine anyone would look at them and think "what was there mother thinking!" on the random days they do pick out their whacky outfits. I chose "I pick their clothes to make sure they look suitably nice" but now I'm wondering if you mean "...because if I didn't they'd dress badly" as opposed to I just like to pick cute clothes. Hmm. Oh well!

[wendmatt]

I actually put that it does reflect on me, but I do let DD dress herself and have for many years, but I still feel slightly embarrassed when she looks super scruffy or dressed like a boy and wonder if people think we are trashy!

[BayGirl2]

I actually put that it does reflect on me, but I do let DD dress herself and have for many years, but I still feel slightly embarrassed when she looks super scruffy or dressed like a boy and wonder if people think we are trashy!

:yeahthat: I said I let them pick out, but I do think it reflects a bit. I have my preferences but let DS pick out most of the time. For the holidays I chose, since I had bought specific coordinating outfits for pictures. DH and I do think its important for him to learn that certain occasions require appropriate attire (so he's not the teenager in a Tshirt at a wedding). For DS pretty much everything coordinates so I've let go of my control. If I don't feel an item reflects well I don't buy it. There was one hand me down shirt we hated and that was subtly moved out of rotation.

For DD I wonder if my answer will be different. I tend to buy girl stuff in "outfits" rather than pieces. Right now I fold them and lay them out in coordinated sets so DH doesn't have to deal with coordinating. Not sure how long I'll continue to do that or if her toddler charm will win me over some day.

[elektra]

I used to think so but now that DD likes to pick her own stuff, I don't feel that way anymore really.
I'm sure some people have certain perceptions of my dressing style after seeing only DD and not me, but she makes dramatically different choices than I do most times! And she refuses to wear certain types of clothes and so I just let her make the picks even if they are wacky by my definition.
I am actually liking how DD is enjoying to express herself with clothes and likes to match things in her own unique way. We each let each other know when we like each other's outfits but we still go with what we like regarless of the other's opinion!
She came out in striped leggings and a white shirt yesterday (gasp!) and was all excited because she found a matching purple scrunchy. I thought she looked adorable but it was not something you would see in a catalog.

[Green_Tea]

I assume my kids' appearance reflects on me, and what it reflects is that I encourage creativity and self-sufficiency. :)

This, exactly!

Today DD2 (age 7, 2nd grade) is wearing a navy polka dot LE dress with apple print tights, sparkly turquoise Toms, a turquoise scarf and glasses with dark purple frames. The glasses were purely for accessorizing - they don't actually correct her vision. I think she looks completely awesome.

My kids dress themselves and have since they were in preschool. They must wear clean clothes, and they must be appropriate for the season (i.e., no tank tops in January.) I am happy to help if they ask, and I have veto power over outfits for special occasions/outings. I love seeing kids, especially 2 and 3 year olds, who have clearly dressed themselves. It makes me smile, and I never assume that the parents don't care/are neglectful/have bad taste. I assume that they encourage independence and creativity!

[BabbyO]

I don't think the way their dressed really reflects on me. I do dress them because DS2 is too little to give input and DS1 rarely shows any interest. Actually if I let DS1 pick...he'd go naked...he tells me all the time how he likes Naked!

If he does object to a particular top or pair of pants, I'll let him choose something else.

BTW...he wore his superman T-shirt with full cape to Cheesecake factory at lunch last week.

[elliput]

I purposefully plan DD's wardrobe to be almost completely mix and match, especially because she has some peculiar sensory based preferences. One of her favorite outfits is a knit dress over yoga pants. It probably looks like an odd combo to many, but she loves it.

Yesterday, she dressed herself to go play outside in a pair of beige bike shorts, a short sleeve shirt, and faux sheepskin boots. After a few minutes, she decided she needed some warmer clothes.

DS is not yet particular as to what he wears. If he had his way, it would probably be nothing at all. :ROTFLMAO:

[jammytoast]

I dont care about being coordinated, but do care about fit/cleanliness/appearance, which is why I iron all of their t-shirts (and the cheapie ones show the biggest improvement aftera 30 second iron!)

I dont like seeing kids who's shirts are so big they hang off their shoulder flashdance style. (although high waters dont bother me as much...I can 'loose' those in the laundry and take them out of rotation fairly easily)

[maestramommy]

Most the time the girls look like they dress themselves. They are actually pretty good at putting outfits together, but since I didn't buy any of their separates with color coordinating in mind, well you get the picture...Whatever else anyone thinks, I am perfectly fine with them thinking they dress themselves, and sometimes even do their own (or each other's) hair:D

[rlu]

I went with other because I do think how DS dresses reflects on me (good or bad) but I let him pick what he is going to wear generally. Church he wears a button down (or polo for outside activity) with clean non-holey jeans and for holidays he wears a button down with the single pair of slacks he has. While we don't buy the school pictures, it does get put in the yearbook and often a print of it is used for the class holiday project, so I do have him wear a button-down (he gets to pick which one) that day.

Like many pp I am more concerned he is dressed appropriately for the occassion and weather (expected high of 65+ he can wear short sleeves), his clothes are clean, his jeans have no holes (unless we're going to the park or camping or somewhere else dirt is expected), his face/hands are clean and his hair brushed (cowlicks are a b***h), and his shoes aren't too disreputable (hard given he goes through shoes every 2-3 months).

We generally purchase his clothes so there is nothing we are embarassed about. The majority of his wardrobe is t-shirts and I'm ok with that.

[JBaxter]

My boys ALL would have sat naked if I didn't pick them out clothes well into elementary school. Even now I wake Nathan up and pull clothes out and lay on his bed.
I'm happy if I can talk Jack INTO clothes.
I still fold Nathan's clothes into outfits and put them in his closet shirt and matching pants. No mixing up is allowed even on Saturdays.

[wellyes]

Style-wise, I don't give a flying fig if it does.
But it would be irresponsible to let DD dress herself all the time since she would cheerfully wear nothing but a cami and underpants year-round if I let her.

[MelissaTC]

For me, it has always been an issue of him looking clean and taken care of, not so much cute. But I do appreciate a cute outfit. He's all about "cool" now. But I have to say when he needs to look nice, he shines. He's definitely metro, lol.

[AnnieW625]

I give DD1 3 options because if I didn't she wouldn't get dressed or she'd end up wearing her fancy dresses out to play all of the time. I have always liked clothes to match and I hope my girls are like that. I think DD1 is to a point but sometimes she'll wear pink with some random color like orange because she wants to. Compared to my friends I guess I am a stickler about this.

I voted yes for I like them to look cute, but really I want them to look clean and put together because both DH and I like to do that.

[katydid1971]

I think kids who look like they are well cared for are better treated in general. I don't care if you like my taste in clothes but if a child looks neat and clean you think that the parent keeps better care of them than a child who is in stained and messy clothes. JMO

[crl]

Dd is too young to care yet. But ds has been allowed to pick his clothes since he started wanting to.

At age three he went to preschool once in navy and red striped knit shorts, an orange t-shirt and red and white checked Vans sneakers. Worse yet, he went to first grade many, many times in a red and green striped long sleeve t-shirt with an orange tie dyed short sleeve t-shirt layered on top. It was his favorite combo and he wore it nearly every week until I confiscated the shirts as too small (which they geniunely were).

I care that his clothes are clean and in decent shape. How he matches them is up to him unless it is a picture or otherwise special day.

Catherine

[BayGirl2]

I think kids who look like they are well cared for are better treated in general. I don't care if you like my taste in clothes but if a child looks neat and clean you think that the parent keeps better care of them than a child who is in stained and messy clothes. JMO

:yeahthat:I agree. To me its the dirty/sloppy/stained stuff that reflects poorly on the parent. A lot of PP's mentioned mis-matching and creativity and I don't think that necessarily reflects badly - especially if the child is old enough that they clearly made the choice themselves.

That said, I really do like to put my kids in cute outfits. But not to the point that I'd stifle their creativity if they wanted to mis-match.

[essnce629]

Well, I have two boys who could both care less about what they are wearing. I pick out all of their clothes. DS1, who is 8, has never wanted to pick out his clothing.

[*myfoursons]

They have to be clean clothes that are seasonally appropriate. And that's it.

When my boys were little, I used to dress them in little preppy outfits, polos and rugbies and cool sweaters. As soon as oldest ds got a Star wars shirt as a present, they all want to wear Star Wars or Harry Potter or Scooby Doo or the latest-licensed character shirts. I used to swear I would never buy them, thought they were so tacky. Well ds 3 pretty much refuses to wear something unless it has a character on it. I give up.

[Mommy_Again]

L-


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[Cam&Clay]

I guess I'm different. I won't let my kids wear mismatched clothes! It's not like it's a struggle because my boys couldn't care less about what they wear. DS1, at 13, picks out his own clothes of course, but I've sent him back upstairs more than once this year. With DS2, and when DS1 was little, I picked out all of their clothes.

I do feel like it reflects on me. With DS1, I taught in the building where he went to school. One day at the end of the day when he was in kindergarten, he showed up at my classroom door with a rip in his sweatpants wearing only his undershirt and it had ravioli stains all over it from lunch. I was mortified. From that point on, he wasn't allowed to wear undershirts because he sometimes took off the sweater/sweatshirt. I had him always wear an actual t-shirt under clothes so if he took off the top layer, he still looked presentable.

The funny thing is that I'm not an uptight person at all, but I really feel my kids should be not just clean but have clothes on that match. I had no idea I was in such a minority.

[anamika]

Nah...I don't feel strongly about this at all. There are plenty of other things to save my agonizing for!
DD is vehemently opposed to matching - so all the HA playdresses are worn with Gymbo or Kohl's leggings and vice versa. I must say she looks very eye catching most days.
When she was 2, she loved one Tinkerbell outfit and begged to wear it all the time. I just washed frequently and let her wear it whenever she wanted. I even got a matching dress for her doll! I am so happy that I chose not to pick that battle. It had no lasting side-effect except giving us a nice story to tell and many fond memories - and pics!

[brittone2]

I have minimal input into what DS1 wears. He likes tees and jeans. If we are going somewhere out of the house, I encourage a polo or dress shirt sometimes. He'll wear it if DH is wearing a polo or dress shirt ;) . He's usually willing to work with me when I do strongly suggest he bump it up a notch, and I appreciate that. So I try to let the tees and jeans most days go even though I'd love to see him wear some other stuff.

DD-does a good job now of picking out stuff. About 10-20 percent of the time I give a total veto. Otherwise she has pretty free reign. Sometimes it isn't what I'd prefer, but I let it go. A year ago it was more challenging (her combos were much crazier. I'd let those go whenever possible but sometimes had to draw a line!)

DS2-I have total control of for now and should take advantage of that while I can!

I think it is cute when I see little girls with tutus and rainboots on at Target. My DD didn't really do that but I think the parents are probably cool people when I see it :love-retry:

I guess I'm in between option 2 and 3.

[Pennylane]

I guess I'm different. I won't let my kids wear mismatched clothes! It's not like it's a struggle because my boys couldn't care less about what they wear. DS1, at 13, picks out his own clothes of course, but I've sent him back upstairs more than once this year. With DS2, and when DS1 was little, I picked out all of their clothes.

I do feel like it reflects on me. With DS1, I taught in the building where he went to school. One day at the end of the day when he was in kindergarten, he showed up at my classroom door with a rip in his sweatpants wearing only his undershirt and it had ravioli stains all over it from lunch. I was mortified. From that point on, he wasn't allowed to wear undershirts because he sometimes took off the sweater/sweatshirt. I had him always wear an actual t-shirt under clothes so if he took off the top layer, he still looked presentable.

The funny thing is that I'm not an uptight person at all, but I really feel my kids should be not just clean but have clothes on that match. I had no idea I was in such a minority.

You aren't alone, I've never thought it looked cute to let kids dress up in a bunch of mismatched clothes!! My DC are pretty good at making their clothing choices, but it's because I've taught them over the years what matches and goes together. They are welcome to wear anything they choose around the house, but when they go out I want them to look nice (what I consider nice).

I do love to see little girls in rainboots or princess shoes or little boys in capes and stuff like that though.

Ann

[niccig]

As long as it weather appropriate or not a formal occasion, DS chooses his clothes. His favourite shirts are the t-dye shirts he did at camp, his soccer jerseys from last 3 seasons and the free shirts from camp. I do something cringe when I see him in the camp shirt yet again. I really wish he would wear a nicer shirt. I have cut back on what shirts I buy him, as he just doesn't wear them.

[Puddy73]

Most of the time I let them choose so long as it is clean, well-fitting and appropriate for the weather. For church, parties and some "photo op"activities I choose. I suppose that we are judged by their appearance to some extent, but I love to see kids (mine or others) in creative outfits. I always feel kind of bad for the kids on the playground in pastel smocked outfits who are afraid to get dirty. Their mothers are probably feeling sorry for my children who have a mother with no fashion sense.

[hillview]

DSs pick their own clothes about 80% of the time. I will get their clothes if we are a little rushed but give them a shirt choice (most pants are LE climber pants). I will veto short sleeve shirts and shorts in cold weather. Other than that I usually give them the weather report or "it will be warm/it will be cold/ good day for short sleeves" and leave them. DS2 will wear INSANE clothes. Today he wore target sweatpants (hanes with elastic ankles), a shirt, and spiderman sock slippers OVER the sweatpants. I giggled to myself but whatever. Not worth it. I am more lenient than DH in this department. If the kids don't want to wear coats that is fine (I will take them and put them in their cubby) etc.

[lmwbasye]

I wasn't sure how to vote so I voted #1.

First, I couldn't care less whether someone thinks I have good taste in clothes.

But...I do think that the state of my children (dressed nicely, clean, washed, etc) does reflect on me as a parent...so it matters to me in that way how they look. They do not need to always be all matchy matchy but I want them to look nice when out of the house (at home...couldn't care less).

That being said, I let them generally pick their outfits and only make them change if it's a glaring mess (bright orange shirt with red pants...ouch!).

All of this in the end, though...if they really fight me that day on the specific outfit they've chosen, I don't push it too far.

[jren]

I chose other. I choose DS's clothes based on comfort and fit. I've sent him to preschool in the cheap $3/$5 Hanes sweatpants and sweatshirts from Target. Easy elastic waist for newly potty trained. For DD (8), I don't buy much without her there with me to okay it. But I don't let her buy whatever she wants either, b/c her taste runs slightly age-inappropriate.

[luckytwenty]

My kids are at ages where I could have answered "yes" for any of those questions. I enjoy dressing my baby, am very amused by the concoctions my 6 year old daughter puts together and veto when they are just flat out absurd or inappropriate, and my 8 year old son is on his own as long as it's weather-appropriate. With the exception of one pair of chocolate-brown shorts that only go with a few shirts, he can't really mess up getting dressed.

[Mommy_Again]

Well, I'll admit that I greatly care. I also fully acknowledge that this is an extremely superficial outlook on life, that's probably a greater reflection of my own personality shortfalls. I totally judge others on how their kids dress, and I think people judge me the same way (I've recently realized that many probably don't). I don't judge what type of parent they are - unless your kid is covered in dirt and bruises, I'm going to assume you are a fine parent, no better or worse than I am. But I judge what type of person you are - more specifically, if you'd be the type of person I'd be friends with. Not that kids clothes are a criteria for my choice in friends (I have several who dress their LOs in things I wouldn't be caught dead putting on my children). But in general, the kind of people I hang with all dress their kids in a very specific way (southern, traditional/preppy). So yeah, I judge and make assumptions. I know this probably doesn't put me in the best light, but I wanted to give an honest and different point of view.

I'll also add that many of my viewpoints are quite different than the majority on these boards, but I've been a member for over 8 years bc I think this is one of the smartest and interesting group of women around - and I'd gladly hang with you IRL no matter what your kids wear!


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[wellyes]

Well, I'll admit that I greatly care. I also fully acknowledge that this is an extremely superficial outlook on life, that's probably a greater reflection of my own personality shortfalls. I totally judge others on how their kids dress, and I think people judge me the same way (I've recently realized that many probably don't). I don't judge what type of parent they are - unless your kid is covered in dirt and bruises, I'm going to assume you are a fine parent, no better or worse than I am. But I judge what type of person you are - more specifically, if you'd be the type of person I'd be friends with. Not that kids clothes are a criteria for my choice in friends (I have several who dress their LOs in things I wouldn't be caught dead putting on my children). But in general, the kind of people I hang with all dress their kids in a very specific way (southern, traditional/preppy). So yeah, I judge and make assumptions. I know this probably doesn't put me in the best light, but I wanted to give an honest and different point of view.

I'll also add that many of my viewpoints are quite different than the majority on these boards, but I've been a member for over 8 years bc I think this is one of the smartest and interesting group of women around - and I'd gladly hang with you IRL no matter what your kids wear!


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I was a little huffy about this but then I realized - you know what? - I judge and make assumptions too. I think everyone makes class-based assumptions to a certain degree. 90% of people, I don't judge. I tend to feel affinity for parents who dress their kids somewhat like mine - which is most everyone I know. But very label-conscious parents who spend extravagantly ---- I will admit to feeling a tinge of derision for them. Like, I saw a toddler wearing D&G Jr gloves (about $100) and thought "seriously? ugh!" But "extravagantly" is in the eye of the beholder, and my child wears mini Boden and Hanna and other brands that I'm sure some parents roll their eyes at. So, I will admit it is a bias on my part that is irrational and doesn't reflect well on me.

[carolinamama]

I do feel like there is a little reflection on the parents how kids dress but I don't think it is necessarily because they picked out their own mismatched outfit. More if they have clean clothes that fit them and aren't inappropriate for the weather or occasion. My two kids who can pick out and dress themselves are boys. And while I hate to be gender biased, I wonder if it has something to do with them not caring what they wear. My kids dress casual - jeans or khaki pants and a tee or occasionally polo style shirt. I like to see my kids dressed in jeans that fit and a cute Boden tee. Also, the kids I know who dress in "nicer" clothes more often say to me that the mom just really enjoys seeing her kids dressed like that because that is how I feel. There have always been several outfits for each of my kids that I have loved on them. It didn't have anything to do with what other thought though.

I actually feel like their hygiene reflects more heavily on me. For instance I try to keep nails cut short (no dirt under them), we bathe every night, brush hair, clean faces, and wear clean clothes - atleast at the beginning of the day!

[KpbS]

Both of my DSs are the easiest to dress. DS2 occasionally has a preference in his shirts but that is recent. Overall they do not care at all. I buy all of their clothes will rarely send DS1 back upstairs to change if he picked out an all gray outfit for example, but it is really rare. DD totally remains to be seen--it will be interesting...! We are casual people and I buy my DC a range of clothing--mostly casual but they own some dressier things for church.

I saw a boy the other day at the park who was definitely wearing pj pants--very worn out ones. He was older (close to 5) and I did notice that but what really caught my eye is that he was barefoot (on gravel, wood chips, concrete, etc.) But most of the time I don't notice what other kids are wearing unless the are dressed really cutesy (over the top) or inappropriately for the situation, eg shoeless in the grocery store (just gross, IMO).

[Melaine]

Hmmm this is a very thought provoking question for me because, yes, I do feel that it reflects greatly on me as a parent. But where it gets fuzzy is how come I don't care nearly as much how I dress. Don't I realize that that obviously reflects on me? I think in my warped subconscious, I am thinking that how I dress my kids reflects on my parenting, but how I dress myself reflects on my self-involvement? So it's important to take care of them because that's self-less but maybe dressing nicely myself is selfish. Really, there are so many holes in this logic I don't know where to begin....

[Mommy_Again]

But very label-conscious parents who spend extravagantly ---- I will admit to feeling a tinge of derision for them. Like, I saw a toddler wearing D&G Jr gloves (about $100) and thought "seriously? ugh!"

I have to clarify, this is definitely NOT me! I scour eBay, consignment sales, and Facebook-based sales for deals on all my clothes. Most of the outfits I covet for them cost about $75...but I don't think I've ever paid more than $40, and it's usually about half that. And most of my friends who share my taste in kids clothes can't afford to pay full price either. So it is not at all a matter of the size of your bank account - but rather a reflection of a similar lifestyle and outlook.

If my preference was to dress my little boy in skinny jeans, tank tops and faux-hawks (a la Gwen Stefani's kids), I'd probably gravitate towards moms with similarly dressed kids too. And steer clear of little boys in smocked john johns (like mine!).

I guess what I am trying to say is that they way your child dresses is often a relfection on the type of person YOU are...not always, but often. And I do make assumptions on it, which I already admitted was totally superficial...but these are my warts :)

[mommytoC]

Except for the rare special occasion, my DDs pick their own clothes. That being said, their clothes are hung in their closets as outfits (with skirts/pants/
leggings/tights hung on skirt hangers and tops/dresses hanging (on hangers) from the attached hook), which they essentially never "mix and match" (and I've
used this system for 4+ years now). Accessories and shoes, though, are entirely their choice :).

[niccig]

I

I actually feel like their hygiene reflects more heavily on me. For instance I try to keep nails cut short (no dirt under them), we bathe every night, brush hair, clean faces, and wear clean clothes - atleast at the beginning of the day!

:yeahthat: DS is well groomed - hair is neat, face/hands washed, teeth brushed, clothes clean. He'll never be called "stinky" boy. But he's wearing the free camp t-shirt! There's at least a few kids every day at his school that wear this t-shirt, so at least it's a popular choice in my area.

Clothing is a choice I let DS make - weather permitting and appropriate for the occasion. He doesn't get many choices to make and whether it's a cute t-shirt I've chosen or his free shirt, it's fine for school.

[twowhat?]

LOL I was just thinking of a s/o like this:)

I voted that they choose their own outfits except for rare special occasions like school pictures. In fact that's the only thing I've made them put on something of my choosing in the past year. As long as it's clean, fits, and is weather-appropriate, they get to choose. I keep all the clothes that they can choose from in lower drawers that they can get to. They know which drawer has leggings/pants vs shirts vs dresses and pick whatever they want. If something is outgrown or no longer weather-appropriate, I move it to the upper drawers.

Don't get me wrong - I would MUCH prefer to get to play dress-up with my girls and choose cute coordinating outfits. I really would. Especially with all the nice HA and MB clothes that MIL buys. But around age 2.5, clothing became yet another thing that I had to decide whether the battle was worth it. I VERY quickly decided it wasn't worth it!! Having twin 2.5 yo girls have a tantrum over clothing was just SO not worth it.

And then there's the logistical reason - since I am trying to get 2 of the same age ready at the same time in the morning, it actually helps me out that they can get to their drawers and pick out their outfits on their own. So one will choose an outfit while the other pees/washes hands first thing in the morning (their toilet is tall enough that assistance is required even with a stepstool - previous owners had teenage boys!). Then we swap. I help them get clothing on as needed. I shut my eyes when DD1 chooses a red shirt and hot pink leggings. And when DD2 chooses a polka-dot HA dress OVER a scooter from Kohls. At the same time I think it's adorable that they are so certain about what they want to wear.

But for school pictures and holiday cards, they need to wear what I want them to wear (did I mention DD2 had a tantrum over what she was wearing in our holiday photos? I actually had to compromise and have her wear different pants than I originally wanted). Even for school pics I try to give them some choice - they wore dresses and I let them choose which color leggings to wear underneath since I knew it was unlikely that I would choose a full-body school pic to print:)

eta: I sure hope it doesn't reflect on me, esp since I'm trying really hard to look more pulled-together myself!!

[smiles33]

Hmmm this is a very thought provoking question for me because, yes, I do feel that it reflects greatly on me as a parent. But where it gets fuzzy is how come I don't care nearly as much how I dress. Don't I realize that that obviously reflects on me? I think in my warped subconscious, I am thinking that how I dress my kids reflects on my parenting, but how I dress myself reflects on my self-involvement? So it's important to take care of them because that's self-less but maybe dressing nicely myself is selfish. Really, there are so many holes in this logic I don't know where to begin....

See, I care very much what I wear but less so what my DDs wear, so maybe some moms think I am selfish/self-centered when I go out with them in their crazy mismatched outfits. Not that I am super stylish, but that I make sure not to leave the house in sweats, try to look pulled-together, etc. :jammin:

[wellyes]

I have to clarify, this is definitely NOT me!

Oh, I didn't think it was! I am willing to bet that the kids of people who do care vs the people who don't probably end up looking pretty much the same, at least before age 6 or so.

[lalasmama]

I haven't read the other responses yet.

:bag I hate to admit it, but I feel like I'm being judged by how DD looks. While we get everything at great savings, she wears mainly name-brand clothes, *especially* when going somewhere "important".

To be fair to me, my family wasn't (some still aren't) supportive of me bringing DD into my home, so I try to not give them any room to question my parenting of her. If we are going to see reluctant family, she's in coordinated, name-brand clothing. I go a wee bit overboard too... I won't do jeans and a tee from TCP or such-- we're talking about her wearing something stylish--and never any jeans unless it's skinny jeans under a tunic with some cute boots. You get the idea.

We had a court date last spring. It corresponded with DD's PJ Day at school. I let her wear pajamas to our afternoon court date, because there was no time to have her change. When the judge mentioned her attire, I said, "How could I say no to Pajama Day at school?!" Thankfully, the judge has 3 grown kids, and now a grandchild DD's age, and is pretty laid-back, so she laughed. I will admit to totally feeling embarrassed by it though, because I feel like her appearance does reflect on me. I need to let go of this sooner rather than later, I know.

[Kindra178]

My boys get dressed before breakfast. My twins and even my older one will sometimes get a little breakfast on their shirt or sleeve (like yogurt or a bit of milk) and I don't change their shirt before they goto school. So they goto school stained, probably more often than not. I like a very unrushed morning and I also like a sit down breakfast, with them. I value the time with them more than I value unstained clothes.

I will also add two things: (1) before I had kids, I assumed my boys would wear collared shirts to school daily (2) if I had one child, I would probably be more anal about this.

[niccig]

So they goto school stained, probably more often than not. I like a very unrushed morning and I also like a sit down breakfast, with them. I value the time with them more than I value unstained clothes.


I do the wet cloth as we leave if I see it. I have to do the toothpaste around the mouth as well. If I don't, then the stains from the playground will cover it up soon enough.

[Uno-Mom]

Honestly if i cared a lot about things matching, I'd just shop accordingly. I'd probably just buy basic neutral bottoms and colorful shirts/dresses. Actually, she does have a lot of this mix in the closet.

But sometimes I like to indulge those bright colors both top and bottom, which can have eye-searing results at times! Oh well.

BTW it's very likely that opinions will change on this subject as our kids age. On the other hand, I think the message I send about clothes and self-expression now (at 2) sinks in deep and will have an impact on how she feels about clothes when she's older. I do not want wardrobe to be a battle zone in my house for the next 16 years!

[kijip]

I guess what I am trying to say is that they way your child dresses is often a relfection on the type of person YOU are...not always, but often. And I do make assumptions on it, which I already admitted was totally superficial...but these are my warts :)

I appreciate your honesty and think that more of us see it closer to this way than we are willing to admit. As I watch my son dress himself, I think it is important to remind ourselves that we don't really define our children. I dislike the polos and stripes that T is inclined to wear. I would not buy the skinny pants but he is skinny and hates bunches of extra fabric around his legs. About all I control is shoes and only then to the extent that I pick the store and that guides his choices.

[♥ms.pacman♥]

Hmmm this is a very thought provoking question for me because, yes, I do feel that it reflects greatly on me as a parent. But where it gets fuzzy is how come I don't care nearly as much how I dress. Don't I realize that that obviously reflects on me? I think in my warped subconscious, I am thinking that how I dress my kids reflects on my parenting, but how I dress myself reflects on my self-involvement? So it's important to take care of them because that's self-less but maybe dressing nicely myself is selfish. Really, there are so many holes in this logic I don't know where to begin....

wow, i thought i was the only one who was this way!! :) i wonder about this as i go out in stained shirts, pants that barely fit, yet my DD has a coordinated outfit from Hanna or Gymbo, often coordinating with what DS is wearing. My excuse is that when we go out I'm always taking pictures of the kids, and i especially i love to get pics of them together. I'm almost NEVER in photos, bc i'm always the one who takes pics. So it's partially for that reason that i don't spend time on looking good myself, but make sure the kiddos are well-dressed. But i'm starting to try to get better with that!

[tabegle]

I assume my kids' appearance reflects on me, and what it reflects is that I encourage creativity and self-sufficiency. :)

I love that! :)

[sste]

Well, mostly I worry about the kids' appearance affecting how others treat them. I have def. noticed that cute kids - - encompassing both physical attractiveness plus clothes plus "upkeep" like hair, cleanliness etc - - end up with alot more attention and positive adult interaction.

I don't worry so much about the reflecting me *except* that I buy DS alot of boden and DD alot of Hanna and I sometimes worry other moms might think I am - - snobby isn't the right word but more like uptight or wasteful. Actually I am those things a little bit! Or sometimes people make assumptions that my income comes from my dh or think we are more spendy than we are based on my kiddie dressing.

[KrisM]

I assume my kids' appearance reflects on me, and what it reflects is that I encourage creativity and self-sufficiency. :)

Me, too. I cringe a bit when clothes don't match on DS1 because they look a bit odd to me. On DD, they look creative. I think it's the colors maybe? But, very rarely do I have them change before school. If it's weather appropriate and good for gym class if it's gym day, then it's fine.

DD is very picky. She learned to use the timer on her camera to take pictuers of herself in a variety of clothes the night before picture day.

[Gena]

When DS was an infant / toddler, I thought his clothes were a reflection on me. Now, they are more a reflection of DS's own preferences.

DH and I always say that if I were picking all of DS's clothes, he would be in dockers and polo shirts most of the time. If DH were picking the clothes, DS would wear only jeans and tee shirts.

But DS has his on likes and dislikes. He has sensory issues and motor skill delays. So he likes athletic style pants, which are soft and pull on easily. He likes striped shirts and fleece tops. So that's what he wears most days. It's really not my preferred style, but it works for him. I do help him choose what to wear each day, from the options that are acceptable to him.

[waver]

Our whole family (DH and I too), doesn't care what we wear, as long as clean, comfortable and appropriate, except for special circumstances. I'd like to think that we clean up nicely!

For our jobs, we need to be pretty professional, which I tolerate but would prefer jeans whenever I can.

So, my kids will wear whatever I set out, or else they'll pick, and I'll be fine with it. I'm just glad they did it themselves. I don't usually set out matching things b/c I don't have time to rummage through their clothes.

Often, my kids like to match and look like "twins," although they are a boy and a girl. That's the most I'll do to match...and thank goodness I kept my son's clothing b/c my daughter's fave outfits are to match her brother's. DS will wear a tutu or skirt to match hers as well. We go both ways here.

Yes, I do think that how my kids dress may reflect on me. I think my kids look clean and well cared for. My DH and I really don't mind if people think they look ridiculous. In fact, in a very strange way, I don't mind if people think we can't afford nicer brands! I really try to avoid brands unless they are gifts (usually from the grandparents, MIL likes Naartje and my mom dresses them in Tea). I prefer strangers not to know my financial situation.

[ha98ed14]

Yes, I think it does reflect on me when DD does not look presentable, which for me means matching clothes and brushed hair in brands or ponytail or some style. (I don't let DD wear her hair down to school.)

I think your poll needed a "middle ground" answer because the only Yes answer says that "I want people to wonder about my taste in clothes." There is no need to wonder; 99% of the time, someone can look at DD and tell where the outfit came from! Most likely Gymbo or Target. A few Hannas might be hard to place, but that's not the majority of her wardrobe.

But to answer the poll, yes, I think it reflects badly on me if DD does not look presentable and I say that because, in truth, I jusge other mothers who let their children go around looking like ragamuffins outside of the home. (At home, DD can wear whatever she wants.) SIL takes her girls out in mismatched clothes; she does not even try to make them look nice. Their hair is often matted. They look unkempt. Knowing what I know about the condition of SIL's home (some hoarding; ongoing plumbing/sewage issues that have gone unresolved for years!) I associate her unkempt children with the rest of her out-of-control-life issues.

[ha98ed14]

The only rule I impose is that socks are not optional if you are wearing shoes...

Interesting. Why? Just curious. Even with sandals?

[ha98ed14]

I appreciate your honesty and think that more of us see it closer to this way than we are willing to admit. As I watch my son dress himself, I think it is important to remind ourselves that we don't really define our children. I dislike the polos and stripes that T is inclined to wear. I would not buy the skinny pants but he is skinny and hates bunches of extra fabric around his legs. About all I control is shoes and only then to the extent that I pick the store and that guides his choices.

But the choices T is making, while not your *style*, are certainly reasonable and appropriate for an 8 y.o. boy. If he was asking to wear a slinky gold lame number or a hot pink tutu out of the house, would you let him? I remember at one point he had a pink backpack, but even that is different than clothing IMO. I think there is a HUGE difference between fashion sense (aka personal style) and appropriateness. Nothing about T's choices is inappropriate.

[bisous]

Like many of you I'm a little conflicted. I've been brought up to believe that it is better developmentally to let children make their own clothing choices and hairstyles. My mom is HUGE on this one! She actually told me once that a child in one of her classes (she's a teacher) was bright and confident "because her mom lets her make decisions" and she was referring to clothing!

That said, DS1 is a challenging child and as such, I feel a little bit of pressure to have him look presentable. On our very tight budget I shopped very carefully for school and he has some nice clothes. He has other clothes that are okay to wear around the house but are not permitted to school or any other nice place. I am also the dictator of what he wears to church and to parties, etc.

My kids are also messy despite my best efforts. Our house is very clean. I have impeccable grooming but DS1 is tough! He always smells nice and has clean shirts but he has a huge problem with holes in the knees and dirt under his fingernails. He loves dirt and has bony knees!

I've just learned to deal with it and don't really care what people think about *ME* but I keep trying for DS1 just so he can get a little bit of an edge with his peers/have less to be teased about.

[kijip]

Interesting. Why? Just curious. Even with sandals?

Sandals are not shoes. I meant that if you have on sneakers or boots or whatever you need socks. We took care of a very low income child in our home for a number of months and he was not used to wearing socks and T tried to copy that. I made them both wear socks. Unless they were wearing crocs or sandals.

[kijip]

But the choices T is making, while not your *style*, are certainly reasonable and appropriate for an 8 y.o. boy. If he was asking to wear a slinky gold lame number or a hot pink tutu out of the house, would you let him? I remember at one point he had a pink backpack, but even that is different than clothing IMO. I think there is a HUGE difference between fashion sense (aka personal style) and appropriateness. Nothing about T's choices is inappropriate.

Gold lame? No. Pink tutu? Maybe. But T shows no sign of being a cross dresser. He wants boys clothing that is bright colors. His fave socks are usually from the girls side of the smartwool display and that is the extent of his gender bending. If there is a pink polo shirt to buy, he will buy it. The more striped the better.

I guess my point is that if you want to glean information about me from my older son's clothing you will think that I am very preppy but in reality all that is happening is that he is very preppy. I think kids should get to choose what to wear past a certain fairly young age. I had a male friend in college who could not shop for his own essentials because he had never learned- him mom always did. I think that is an absurd level of control for a parent to have over their nearly grown offspring. Parents need to let go at some point.

[JBaxter]

Sandals are not shoes. I meant that if you have on sneakers or boots or whatever you need socks. We took care of a very low income child in our home for a number of months and he was not used to wearing socks and T tried to copy that. I made them both wear socks. Unless they were wearing crocs or sandals.

I'm with you on that one too Katie. I have to buy my boys natural uppers ( leather or canvas) and if they don't wear socks they REEK.

[kijip]

I'm with you on that one too Katie. I have to buy my boys natural uppers ( leather or canvas) and if they don't wear socks they REEK.

And to me nothing says poverty and/or ill groomed like a lack of socks. It is a hard and fast rule.

[lizzywednesday]

...
My big sensitivity is when things are too tight or too small.

:yeahthat:

I've had to go through my DD's drawers (the closet is another animal & I think it frightens my DH) to remove anything too small or too tight, as DD seems to grow overnight, so that DH wouldn't dress her in anything from that size-range.

The thing that gets me about DH is putting DD in short sleeves when it's 45 degrees in the house. I don't care how warm DH thinks it is, DD feels cold like I do - which is very acutely!

[Ceepa]

I've read a lot of parents saying as long as the clothes are clean and season-appropriate DC can wear whatever. Well my kids don't even want to wear what most observers would call season-appropriate. They run hot so there are times my kids are running around in light jackets instead of coats or no jacket at all. Sometimes there are sandals over socks or many layers (too many) for the warm temperatures but DC wanted to wear several well-loved items simultaneously.

It doesn't bother me at all. I just pare down clothes as they're outgrown or trashed so those aren't available for choosing.

But I admit to noting when children are dressed in a way that looks like the mom made a big effort to coordinate the outfit and insist on fastidious grooming and then the mom looks like she just rolled out of bed.

[lizzywednesday]

Hmmm this is a very thought provoking question for me because, yes, I do feel that it reflects greatly on me as a parent. But where it gets fuzzy is how come I don't care nearly as much how I dress. Don't I realize that that obviously reflects on me? I think in my warped subconscious, I am thinking that how I dress my kids reflects on my parenting, but how I dress myself reflects on my self-involvement? So it's important to take care of them because that's self-less but maybe dressing nicely myself is selfish. Really, there are so many holes in this logic I don't know where to begin....

See, now you have to get all philosophical about it!

Truly, my DD is better-dressed than I am 90% of the time.

Why is that? Is it because I care more about presenting my DD to the world than I care about presenting myself?

Maybe.

But, frankly, little girls' clothes are too much fun, so I buy a lot of them.

The added bonus to shopping for DD is that it's easy to figure out her size, her things always fit and they're always appropriate for the occasion.

Shopping for me, on the other hand, is usually stressful and tear-inducing. Who wants to go through that????

[Green_Tea]

I've been brought up to believe that it is better developmentally to let children make their own clothing choices and hairstyles. My mom is HUGE on this one! She actually told me once that a child in one of her classes (she's a teacher) was bright and confident "because her mom lets her make decisions" and she was referring to clothing!

I think your mom sounds like a smart lady! When DD2 was in K, her old-school, very experienced teacher told us that she expected that all of her Kindergarters would 1) pack their own snack each day - there's no reason why a 5 year old can't be responsible for putting some pretzels or a cheese stick in a baggie, and put the snack in their backpack; and 2) be in charge of choosing their clothes and dressing themselves each day. She said that's the only "homework" she assigns and that she'd know if the parents were doing these jobs for their Kindergarteners ;). I think she had it right - as parents it is our job to teach our children to make good choices independently. Allowing them to do so in low-risk situations - nobody ever died from wearing plaid and stripes together, or forgetting their snack - builds confidence and cultivates decision making skills. It also allows children a modicum of control over their own lives. We make so many rules and decisions for our kids. When the stakes are low, why not let them make their own decisions and rules?

[boolady]

DD used to be much more interested in choosing her daily outfits than she presently is, so I just choose an outfit or two and let her choose. When she does like to choose, I let her go...within reason. This weekend, she chose a pair of jeans and long sleeved Boden tee and a long-sleeved cardigan-- my only objection was because I thought she would be way too warm, so I told her that I liked her selections, but thought she should leave off the sweater because she would get sweaty. It was all good. As a number of PP have noted, I really don't judge what other kids are wearing as long as it appears that they're well-cared for and groomed.

[dogmom]

My DD actually matched the correct print tights that go with the print Gymboree Dress the other day instead of some clashing tight, which I usually let go in the morning. (The dress was a hand me down, I can't afford that stuff new.) When I dropped them off, which I usually don't, her K aid said, "Nice dress Mom!!" And I was wondering if she would say that if my DH dropped them off?

On the other hand I would have noticed and stopped my DS from wearing his cordaroy pants on inside out to school, which my DH did not.

I don't judge other parents on what their kids wear or not wear, although apparently plenty of people here do. Which is their right, I probably judge their parenting on a number of things they think are ridiculous. I do think there are places and times when you should dress nicely to be respectful. If we are going to here Grandma sing we should dress nice, because it conveys you care enough not to just throw something on. Likewise, a special school meeting, or picture day. Things like that.

[chiisai]

For non-special occasions, DS can pick out what he wants as long as it's weather appropriate. We have all his pants and shirts hanging in the closet and he matches how he wants. For special occasions I do generally pick things that aren't totally mis-matched and offer him some choices.

For DD, I pick because she would simply go in pjs as she cares not a bit about getting dressed yet, and while a fantastic idea and something I wholeheartedly would love to convince corporate america is the next business casual, I don't feel it's warm enough in the winter, or enough period in the summer (no top usually), and in general not thick enough for outdoor play when it's warmer out. I have a pile of pants and a pile of shirts, and I will generally try to find something that is of the same color types, i don't stress if I can't. I do, however, dress her in something nicer when we go out on special occasions, as it's likely the only time she will ever wear that special outfit from x or y.

Though, about pjs, both my kids went to daycare in the footed pajamas from carters or whatnot for the first year.

[maestramommy]

And to me nothing says poverty and/or ill groomed like a lack of socks. It is a hard and fast rule.


I find this funny, because though socks/no socks is a huge battle in my house, it's not because of the way it looks. It's because when you wear shoes but not socks, sooner or later you are going to get blisters on the back of your ankle. And because even a 4yo's shoe can stink.

I dont' know what it is with my kids and socks. You'd think after one blister, or chapped feet, they'd learn. But noooooooooo......

[twowhat?]

I find this funny, because though socks/no socks is a huge battle in my house, it's not because of the way it looks. It's because when you wear shoes but now socks, sooner or later you are going to get blisters on the back of your ankle. And because even a 4yo's shoe can stink.

I dont' know what it is with my kids and socks. You'd think after one blister, or chapped feet, they'd learn. But noooooooooo......

Yeah, that's a battle I finally chose not to fight in the summers. They can wear shoes without socks so long as they don't need socks for warmth. Though - they typically only wear sandals in the summers since it gets so hot. We've never had a blister!! The LE Action sandals (which they wore ALL last summer) were apparently THAT comfy!

Dr Scholl's foot spray is our friend:)

[mommytoC]

Though, about pjs, both my kids went to daycare in the footed pajamas from carters or whatnot for the first year.

Mine did, too...in fact, these were all they wore for the first 6-8 months.

[hoodlims]

Not that DD has to look "cute", but more like appropriately dressed. I see kids her age or slighter older (she is almost 2), looking like mini hookers! So yes, her clothing reflects greatly on my parenting and tastes.

[SASM]

I cared a lot more when they were younger and I had more control...K for DS & preschool on down. Now that they are older, my expectations have lowered across the board. :( I am just happy if they are clean & somewhat matching without rips/bfast stains and wearing coat/socks in winter. Bonus points for teeth & hair brushed after bfast. I pick my battles...sadly, clothing isn't at the apex anymore.

[fedoragirl]

I cared a lot more when they were younger and I had more control...K for DS & preschool on down. Now that they are older, my expectations have lowered across the board. :( I am just happy if they are clean & somewhat matching without rips/bfast stains and wearing coat/socks in winter. Bonus points for teeth & hair brushed after bfast. I pick my battles...sadly, clothing isn't at the apex anymore.

:yeahthat: except that my kids are younger now. I get to pick DD's clothes but she has just started expressing interest in what she'd like to wear. So, I let her. It will be an interesting phase for me because I was never allowed to choose my clothes till college. So, I hope I will not fall back on my parents' parenting skills and let DD do her own thing. DS is only 4 months--almost. He couldn't care less. :D

[R2sweetboys]

Hmmm, I suppose I care a little bit. I like their clothes to match to some extent but I'm not obsessive about it. Neither of my boys has much desire to pick out their clothes so I usually do it. I could make them and they would, but I think I prefer it so I can make sure they match. I've explained to my 11 year old how to coordinate things and he does a decent job when I ask him to pick something out. I guess it's just easier for me to grab their outfits at night so they're ready for the morning.

Now, I'm not picky about them looking preppy or wearing only certain brands. They both have a mix of name brand clothes and pieces from Target,etc. DS1(11) has started to have some preferences on brands(mostly sport types like Nike,Adidas,UnderArmour) which is normal for his age. I don't mind buying him some of those things since it's kind of cute to see him take some interest. Both boys wear sweatpants or sports shorts almost every day and despise jeans and cargos as they aren't as comfortable. I don't mind, I think they look cute anyway. :D

[fivi2]

This thread reminded me of the time twin a told me her wildly clashing shirt and pants matched because "the shirt has a butterfly and the shorts have flowers, and butterflies and flowers go together ". Can't argue with that logic!

[MoJo]

For me, it's an ages and stages thing.

For the 19 month old, of course I pick. She wears something that is clean and comfortable and coordinated. If she's going to preschool, it might be stained, because so many things get stained, and I can't afford to replace it all when she's only going to wear it a few more months. Doing her hair in the morning is pointless when she has to wear a hat. If we're just going to the grocery store, she's often in footed PJs, because that keeps her far warmer than regular clothes. (And I've gotten LOTS of compliments on doing this). When it wasn't 40 or below, she has often been at the store sans socks or shoes. . . because she doesn't walk there, and if she wears socks or shoes into the store I spend more time picking them off the floor than I do shopping. Or she gets the socks soaked in the car because she puts her feet in her mouth when she's in the carseat (after she removes her shoes, of course), and to me wet socks are far worse than no socks.

The 3 1/2 year old usually picks her own. She has to wear something that fits, is weather appropriate, school appropriate if it's a school day, but otherwise pretty much whatever is OK. I answered the leggings were OK. . . but then she found a see-through pair yesterday, and I did NOT allow her to go to school in those until she found a jumper dress to go over the shirt and leggings she had picked out. She ended up being complimented at her school for her outfit! Doing her hair in the morning is also pointless, because she plays with it for the half hour drive to preschool and it looks worse when we get there than when we left, and the preschool re-does it no matter what I do to it anyway. She complains about ponytails and headbands hurting, and most barrettes won't stay in her super-fine hair, so that's a challenge. Her clothes are almost never stained (unless we're doing something very messy).

Nearly all their clothes are hand-me-downs and thrift store buys. I couldn't care less about brands. But the girls usually get lots of (maybe too much??) positive attention about their appearances from everyone from their grandmas to strangers.

The one thing that gets lots of critical attention, besides Ha's missing socks, is the coat issue. When it's over 40 degrees, I personally can't see struggling with coats to walk 3-10 yards from the house to the car or the school to the car, especially since we're a no-coats-in-carseats family. I spend more time struggling with the coats on and off than I do walking outside. But several people have asked, "You're not going to go out/let her go out without a coat, are you?" Um, yeah, I was. We always HAVE the coats (in case the kids get to play outside, or if we're walking more than 10 yards, or it gets actually cold) but I don't always make them wear them. They DO wear them when it's wet or actually cold but not when it's just chilly.

FWIW, MY mom stopped letting me choose my clothes when I was five because I liked purple and polka dots and she didn't. And I feel like I still struggle with making choices as a result. I learned to like exactly what my mom liked. . . and feel my own personality was stunted in some ways. I will not do that to my daughters.