do your DC get frightened by sib's tantrums/screaming?

[♥ms.pacman♥]

if so, how do you handle it?

DS turned 2 yesterday, but the one who is leading the house with screaming fits is my 10 month old DD. OMG..she can be the sweetest angel but then other times...she screams so bad she sounds possessed. I would honestly be scared seeing it too...she can really scream....turns red, tears flowing, on the floor waving her arms and legs around. She has started screaming fits whenever i try to put her down (not down to sleep, just in general when i stop holding her... so i can go pee or change DS's diaper or something). If she had her way, she'd be nursing all.the.time (she often is making the sign for "milk" as she's screaming bloody murder).

I would try to ignore it, but the problem is DS has been getting really frightened to the point that he starts crying too (and this is a kid that rarely cries). He sees her and starts running to me saying "[DD]'s crying! [DD]'s crying!!" and he seems really concerned/scared. He also gets clingy as well, which makes things worse.

What should I say/do? Right now it's a pretty rough stage.. i feel like i can't take 30 seconds to do ANYTHING without DD going ballistic and DS freaking out, and then i have 2 crying clingy kids, just because I wanted to go freaking pee :dizzy:

[crl]

Well ds recently had a screaming fit (he's eight, sigh). Dd kept saying his name and "crying" over and over. So I left him in his room and took her outside, and we walked to the end of the street so we couldn't hear him anymore. Not really an option for you though. I think your ds will just get used to it eventually.

Catherine

[sidmand]

Well, we knew going in that DS doesn't like loud noises. To be quite fair, when DD cried in the car in that confined area...I didn't much like it either! I used to roll down the windows (I know! That didn't make much of a difference and just let the whole neighborhood hear too).

He would often start crying too (he was just shy of 3 when she was born but covered his ears at loud noises for as long as I can remember and still does). Very often. There wasn't really much of anything we could do. I used to talk to him more than her at that stage/age "it's okay buddy, you're doing great" because she was beyond consoling and it wouldn't much matter at that age.

After time he got more used to it and she didn't do it quite as much and there wasn't much else we could do. Even now when DD starts crying DS doesn't love it. And now when I ask her to stop crying ('cause she's a drama queen and some of the time there's nothing really wrong!) she stomps off and says, "but I wanna cry." Great. :) I've got a 13 year old in a 3 year old's body...but that's a hijack of my own. Sorry!

[amldaley]

Is it possible that DD is going through a growth spurt thus the wanting to nurse constantly or is she teething and looking for comfort?

I would try some alternatives to soothe her like some frozen fruit in a mesh feeder and then try to explain to DS that babies cry, DD is ok, etc. Maybe enlist his help when you need to pee? Ask him to sit with her and soothe her? Entertain her?

[JoyNChrist]

We have a similar situation, although my kids are older. Elliott (16 months) can REALLY throw a fit. Screams at the top of his lungs like he's being tortured over the littlest things.

It greatly upsets Avery, who has always been a sensitive kid. Sometimes he cries too. And sometimes the screaming scares Sadie and makes her cry, so that's super fun.

What I've started doing when E just loses it is putting him in a Pack n Play in the playroom and taking the other two kids into another room until he calms down a little bit. Of course I try to soothe him or distract him first, but sometimes there's just no pleasing him, and I'm not going to let the other two get upset just because he's losing his mind over nothing.

Good luck! Isn't the screaming absolutely insane?!

[YouAreTheFocus]

I don't have a good solution for you, but I do think it's common for crying to be contagious among kids of all ages. I've seen it at my son's daycare with kids maybe 15 mos and up. One of them starts crying over something, then another will start to look anxious and tear up (almost like they are thinking "omg, help! Something terrible must be happening!"). And then it spirals from there, with 5 or more kids hysterical and needy for no good reason.

[twowhat?]

I don't have a good solution for you, but I do think it's common for crying to be contagious among kids of all ages. I've seen it at my son's daycare with kids maybe 15 mos and up. One of them starts crying over something, then another will start to look anxious and tear up (almost like they are thinking "omg, help! Something terrible must be happening!"). And then it spirals from there, with 5 or more kids hysterical and needy for no good reason.

Hahaha SO true. The fun part is being THAT parent that drops off the crying child that causes the chain reaction of multiple other kids bursting into tears. I would maybe tell your DS that it's OK but I would try not to make a huge deal out of it...soon enough he will figure out that it's a way to get himself some attention;)