help me figure out the summer (long)

[lmh2402]

Help me think this through. I’m due mid-july. I’m terrified. Of how my baseline state of crazy will cope with having two. Had a very had time pp with DS.

It’s the middle of the summer. DS is (obviously) out of school.

My regular coverage right now is Tues (my mom) and Thurs (our sitter). I am thinking that I need to figure out something to put in place before baby even arrives, so DS can get settled as best as possible. He has a very, very hard time with changes in routine and I think the baby is going to seriously mess with him. So having some sort of person or program in place, that is focused on him…I would think…would be a good thing. Right? and having this in place before baby arrives is best, so he doesn’t feel like baby shows up…and then I pass him off to someone or some program.

Sooo…what to do. Our thurs sitter is so awesome and it took us so long to get here – but he now loves her…more than me…some days. Problem is, she is not avail any day other than thurs or the weekends.

I’m looking into summer camp programs, but wouldn’t want to do 5 days a week. Would really only want to do like three…and they would be mornings only. But I was thinking maybe camp would be good b/c he would get out of the house and continue working on his socialization – which was/is our biggest hurdle with nursery school and per his teachers, he’s come such a long way! Would love to let him continue to work on those skills in a fun environment.

Other wrench in things is DS’ therapy. He will most definitely still be in OT twice a week this summer…and maybe even have speech added on for working on oral motor issues. My mother will not drive him there – she’s not comfortable driving where she isn’t familiar. So that means I will have to get him there on other days.

Compounding this – we are currently in therapy on mon and fri morning. We used to go in the afternoon – but DS has developed YET A NEW strange behavior in which he refuses to leave the house in the afternoons. (don’t ask). It got so bad that after several times of me having to carry him into the therapy office without socks, shoes (once without pants) in a screaming heap…that they told me they didn’t want him to come in the afternoons anymore. That until we were able to work through whatever is upsetting him in the afternoons, he needs to be seen in the morning.

Ok, so my options are:
1. Find a summer camp for mon, wed and fri morning. AND hire a sitter for mon, wed and fri afternoon – lean on the sitter to get DS to his therapy appts in the afternoon. Hoping with summer and longer days, the “won’t leave the house in the PM” will ease up – it only started in the fall once the days started getting shorter.

2. Skip summer camp – and the socialization – and just hire sitter/help for full days on mon, wed and fri. count on sitter to get DS to therapy at some point on a mon, wed or fri. probably a morning.

3. Put him in a camp for mon, wed and fri morning. And just deal on my own in the afternoons and get him to afternoon therapy myself. My worry with this is the therapy place is 30 min from our house on a good day without traffic. I really worry about getting out on time with a newborn, etc. plus I think I have serious PTSD from the months we were trying to force afternoon therapy once he was unwilling to leave the house. It was hell. Seriously. Hell.

Anyway, help. I’m so overwhelmed with all these thoughts swirling through my head. Thanks.

[crl]

I would worry that summer camp might become problematic and then you'd be stuck. I'd try for a sitter, one you can hire well in advance to make sure the sitter works out, and have the sitter do the therapy appointments.

Catherine

[Mopey]

I am not a Mom until March, and have not had to deal with most of these issues but it seems to be a situation where you would do best to put your comfort and care first. (I am good at realizing when $ SHOULD be spent ;))

I would agree with your option of summer camp and afternoon sitter. It sounds as though your son shouldn't lose momentum and could learn a lot of fun and confidence-building skills at a summer program. And it sounds as though getting you out of the house and to OT with your son and the newborn could be seriously difficult.

Perhaps the sitter you love could recommend a friend? I'll bet there are plenty of college kids home who wouldn't mind the schedule.....

Good luck to you. Hoping some of your stress eases soon!

[BayGirl2]

As a recent mom of 2, I'd say either option 1 or 2. My DS is about your son's age and a fairly well adjusted kid, but even getting him and the baby out of the house at the same time on my own is a huge challenge for me. At least for the first few months you will do yourself and your DCs a huge favor by giving yourself a break and getting help when you can. It sounds like getting him to therapy yourself will be a challenge, so get help there.

I'd lean toward putting him in summer camp too, because it sounds like socialization is an issue. But I may biased on that because my DS has a high amount of social opportunities since I'm a working mom. At this age he is actually playing with friends, not just parallel playing, and that is an important skill IMO. That also would give you more quiet time at home with the baby when you are in that sleep deprived state. And DS will have his own thing going on, instead of watching you care for the baby while he gets a sitter.

[pinkmomagain]

On the one hand, I was going to suggest summer camp 5 days a week for consistency, since he has a hard time adjusting to changes. I am a big proponent of summer day camp. I find my kids really benefit from the daily routine, socialization, constructive activities...especially my ADHD/anxious dd..who is almost 13 and still needs it.

On the other I'm inclined towards option 2 -- for your sake. Since therapy takes precedent over the nice stimulation of day camp, maybe you should save any potential battles just for therapy (with the sitter) and not feel the pressure of getting him up and out every morning.

I know, not much help, right? It is a tough call. I wonder if your ds's therapists or teachers have any good perspective on the matter...

[crl]

I wonder if there is a possible compromise of having the sitter take him to some kind of activities as well as therapy? Is there a social skills play group? Would he enjoy a gymnastics or art or music class? Can you arrange regular park play group with friends?

I just know that my kid would have taken all summer to adjust to camp and I would have been fighting the battle everyday with him. Just not worth it to me. Maybe things would go much better for you though? Anyway, that's why I'd opt for the sitter, because it would actually help me instead of creating a new battle for me to fight. . . . .

Catherine

[maestramommy]

Option 2. Summer camp would be too disruptive. Also, most summer camps that I've seen run for a week and that's it. You might be hard pressed to find one that runs all summer on alternate days.

I'd stick with the therapy in the mornings since that is what works. If you can get DS to therapy in the mornings right now without much of a fuss, that's what I would stick with.

I'd hire a sitter for full days MWF. Even if you do the therapy appts, the sitter could be very useful if she comes along.

How does your DS do with playdates? Are there any kids that could come over during the sitter days? Or could the sitter take him to a story hour at the library? I'm totally reaching here I know. :hug::hug:

[MommyAllison]

If you decide to do summer camp, can he go straight from there to therapy, so that once he gets home in the afternoon, he doesn't need to leave again?