Help! Toddler up before 5 am every morning!

[williams44]

My daughter is 2 years and 4 months. She goes to bed around 7 pm. We would like her to wake up at the earliest at 6 am. She wakes up at 5 am, 4 am and even 3:30 am at times. She wants to start the day at that time. Ugh!

We tried to let her cry it out, but then she always says "I need to pee." She doesn't wear a diaper at night by choice. I was not that into potty training with her. She just did it on our own. One day in October, she said no diaper and she's had very few accidents since then. She hasn't had any accidents in the last month. On Christmas, she informed us no diaper at night. She was fine for a while. The first time she got up too early, we let her cry it out. She wet her bed, and she was furious at us. So now, we feel that we have to go to her when she says that. Sometimes she pees, and sometimes she doesn't. She obviously knows that we will go to her when she says that.

Because of this problem, we have tried to put a diaper on her, but she refuses to pee in the diaper. She still calls out to us and won't go back to sleep. One night, we tried waking her up right before we went to bed to make her pee. We got her to pee, but then she cried off and on between 1:20 and 3:50 am and then woke up at 5:30 am. Ugh!

She was also on a nap strike for a while. I've made a concerted effort to get her down for naps the last 3 weeks, but we've had some days where she just won't do it. She's super tired, especially because she's getting up at 4 am, but she refuses to sleep. After an hour in the crib, I just get her out.

I just had our second child 5 months ago. Maybe that's part of the issue, or maybe it's just developmental. But this has been going on now for a month, and it's driving us crazy. The baby is sleeping through the night, but sadly enough, we're not getting any sleep because of our toddler.

Any advice?!! Please! We're feeling desperate and just don't know what to do.

[mjs64]

Aw, I couldn't read and not post. Hugs. That sounds awful. I don't have any BTDT experience, so my thoughts may not be at all helpful, but here goes: 1) try reading Ferber's sleep book. He has a range of chapters on sleep problems at different ages. He has a chapter on toddlers who are testing limits, which is what it sounds like your DC may be doing. (2) consider letting her give up that nap, so that she'll be more tired at night and so that you'll have one less conflict to deal with.

I hope someone else with more experience posts. Good luck, and keep us updated.

[sariana]

Maybe it's time for an alarm clock. Not to wake her up, but to let her know when it's okay to "start her day," so to speak. Until the alarm goes off, she must entertain/take care of herself, including going to the bathroom if necessary.

Can she get out of her crib on her own? It may be time to move her out, even if that means putting a mattress on the floor. Could you put a gate in her doorway if you don't want her to leave the room? Or somewhere in a hallway if you want her to have access to the bathroom?

As for naps, you may want to try calling it "Quite Time" instead of a nap. The rule is that she must stay in her room, doing something quietly. She cannot leave the room or call to you. She may not sleep, but you will get some time. When it comes right down to it, you can't make her sleep.

It does sound as though she may be having some jealousy issues. She is wanting your time and attention. Maybe if you set aside some "Big Girl Time" with Mommy and/or Daddy, she will respond and want to be a "big girl" at night and at nap time, too, being responsible for staying in her room or whatever.

Good luck. It is difficult to cope when you are not able to sleep.

[mikala]

Does her room get any light in the morning? If you haven't already added any blackout curtains that might help a little. (I realize this is probably less of an issue in the winter since she's probably waking up before the sun shines anyway but if it gets anyone more sleep..)

Is she in a bed or a crib? If a bed could you put a little potty in her room so she can wake up and pee on her own?

There are several alarm clocks available that give a visual signal when it's time to be awake. You could also take a regular digital alarm clock and put tape over everything but the hour number and then tell her that she can call for you when she sees the "6" on the clock.

I'd also look at one of the toddler sleep chapters.

[edurnemk]

Is it possible she's waking up because she needs to go potty? Maybe you can try taking her to the potty before you go to bed, or around midnight and put her right back to bed. That's what we do with DS and he's all sleepy when I take him, and goes right back to sleep when I put him back in is bed. That's the only thing that keeps him from waking up screaming between 3-5 am that he needs to pee or that he already had an accident (and when that happens he's so awake after screaming that he has trouble going back to sleep). Oh and also we limit fluids a couple of hours before bedtime.

We also have the "Ok to wake clock" and it worked well for us, you can offering a reward if she manages to stay quietly in her room until the clock lights up, for X number of days. My DS was closer to 3 when we got it, but it's worth a try.

DS also gave up his nap around that age, so maybe you can gradually cut her nap short and she'll add that time to night time sleep. And finally you can try pushing her bedtime a bit in 15 minute increments and see if she wakes up later. We do quiet time and a snack instead of a nap since he gave it up: cuddle and watch a TV show, read, etc.

I totally feel for you, DS woke up at 6 am or earlier, with several phases of 5:20 am up until he turned 3. And as a baby it took him 13 months to STTN.