opposite of red shirting - your thoughts (long) (fixed dates in OP)

[tabegle]

I'm jumping the gun on my kid's education - She's not supposed to start Kindergarten until Fall 2014. However, all the school signs are up to enroll for Fall 2012. I'm thinking about enrolling her for Fall 2013.

Our school cutoff is age 5 by 9/1. DD's birthday is in December. I called to ask if age 5 by 9/1 was a hard and fast rule. It's not; however, a prescreening would be required for an early enrollee. Not a big deal to me. I don't want to put my kid in school too early if she's clearly not ready.

My inexperienced theory based my DH and SIL (both youngest in their grades) excelling in school is that the younger they are challenged (but not too young) the more successful they are. I know every kid is different, and most 3 year-olds are bright in one aspect or another (or more).

I just want to make sure my dd gets challenged at the right stages. Currently, she's in a Montessori based daycare which incorporates preschool and we've been really happy with them.

So, if I enroll her a year early, her and DS will be 2 school years apart, otherwise, they will only be 1 school year apart (though 19 months apart; he'll be the youngest in his class).

So, what are your thoughts? I know there is a lot to consider for the future too (high school ages, onset of puberty). I would love to hear your opinions and experiences with this.

(And thanks so much for reading all this, I know I can ramble incessantly and without any semblance of order!)

After rereading this... I think I'll go ahead with the prescreening and see what the school's experts recommend. No harm with that, right?! Thanks for letting me put this all out in writing. I do still welcome your opinions though!

[sidmand]

Well, DH and I were both four when we started K and we both wish we'd been held back. Neither of us had any trouble academically but socially is a whole other story. Would another year bag made the difference? I don't know but it was really hard being one of the youngest in the class.

[amldaley]

There were alot of good responses here....

http://windsorpeak.com/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=410129&highlight=opposite+shirting

[rlu]

Well, you could do the prescreening and see what they say. Here in CA she might qualify for K since our state can't decide whether to fund Transitional Kindergarten or not (political issues cloud what should have been a straight-forward decision yes or no). (Transitional Kindergarten for kids with Oct, Nov and Dec b-days).

I have a late Sep b-day and the district had recommended to my mom that I be held a year, but since the cutoff was Dec they had to let me in. My mom insisted so I could attend with the neighbor kids. It was good my friends were in my class to shelter me from the teasing to an extent, and since I was very shy, making new friends the next year might have been difficult for me. Immaturity is a huge issue for the younger kids. I experienced it as a kid and I see it in my son's classrooms.

I did well enough academically through-out my school years but socially it was not a picnic (I'm one of those you couldn't pay to go back to high school). Not all of that was age-related but being smaller and younger certainly didn't help with my confidence at all, despite academic achievement.

I don't think I buy the "challenge young for success" argument although I will put some thought into that. I wonder if exposure instead of challenge is more beneficial. I don't know, I'm pulling this from the air right now.

[SnuggleBuggles]

I wouldn't. I have a kid (granted, a boy) on the young end for his class and it can be a big difference. Ds1 is firmly still a kid but starting in 3rd grade, some became tweens. Socially he was left behind. I think tween hood is only the beginning and it is just tough to be the youngest.

eta- I know setting a high bar can be good but it can also lead to frustration if it is too high. The whole thing can backfire. That is kind of where ds2 is, according to his school.

[YouAreTheFocus]

Way back when, I went through the screening you're contemplating. From what mom tells me, there was a shortage of 5 yr olds so they put the call out to 4 yr olds. I went in and knew colors, numbers, abcs, what have you and passed and started k. I turned 5 in Feb. It was fine academically, but my mom to this day says she regrets it. I had friends and was involved in activities, but often my interests were often a year behind. Like she'll say, the other girls were getting into bands or whatever, and you just wanted to play my little pony :)

That year comes into play for a long time, from boys, puberty, driving, into college with not being 18 or 21 when the others are. I had to get a fake id to get into an 18+ concert in college. Of course this is very generalized, but after my experience, and reading about others who went through similar experiences, I'm totally fine with my 9/29 child missing the cutoff. He gets an extra year of maturity and childhood, and we get an extra year of having him at home. :love5:

[Green_Tea]

I wouldn't. Redshirting is popular, so it's likely that she'll be a year and a half to two years younger than many of her classmates. It might be ok in K, but will be very hard as she gets older, especially socially.

Sent from my VM670 using Tapatalk

[ahisma]

I wouldn't. DD is 13, heading to high school. IME, and per the school counselors, the differences often aren't that pronounced in elementary but really show up in middle school. DD is doing okay, but I wish that we would have just waited a year. I think it would have been really, really good for her. She's very capable academically, but MS is more about social issues than academics (from the kid perspective). It's been hard.

[sariana]

I didn't start K early, but I did skip a grade. I have a July birthday, so I was FAR away from the cut-off! I was a full year and a half younger than my best friend in high school.

There really is no way to predict the future for your DD. I did struggle socially in school, and for a time I thought maybe my youth had something to do with it. But now that DS has been diagnosed with Asperger's and I know more about that syndrome, I think being in my own grade would not have made much of a difference for me. It might have made things worse.

I did have "young" interests, but I also had older interests. I participated in various groups (mostly music) with people who were considerably older than I was (sometimes decades older), and I often fit in better there than with my same-age peers.

Not being able to drive until my senior year in HS was not really an issue for me, but I had a sister a grade ahead of me. I also lived within walking distance of my high school. So I really didn't have a huge NEED to drive.

I was only 17 my entire freshman year of college. That probably was not the greatest situation, but it wasn't terrible. Looking back I realize there probably were some legal issues I wasn't thinking about at the time (I traveled extensively with the band and never had my parents' written permission to do so, for example).

I was immature, but I remain immature to this day, and I am now 38 years old. I don't think skipping a grade had anything to do with that; it's just my personality. Staying back a year in school would not have changed my fundamental essence, and I probably would have been bored out of my mind.

Go ahead and do the assessments. You have time to make a choice.

I am inclined to agree with your theory about being challenged in a general sense. I should point out, though, that I am not a particularly successful person in the traditional sense of the word. I married well, but I have not found my own success career-wise. I honestly don't think that has anything to do with my scholastic career, though. I think it was the result of lazy parenting.

[DrSally]

I've thought about it too w/ dd, as the cut off is 8/1 and her bday is in July. When we were kids, parents used to send kids in earlier if they could. There was no redshirting unless there were serious concerns. but, then i look at DS's class and there's a kid in there who looks so big, i would swear he is 7 yo. He had his bday at the beginning of the school year. He's quite large physically, and also not very nice :(

I can't imagine having my 5 yo DD and a 7 yo in the same class. It's hard to know what to do.

[scrooks]

My MIL was a HS teacher and she said in HS is where the problems tend to show up for the younger kids. Our DD has a summer birthday and we have decided to hold her basically for social reasons. I am second guessing the decision a bit but with the prevalence of red shirting I don't want her to be in a class with kids a lot older than her. Bullying is such an issue these days I don't want to make her a target.

[MelissaTC]

I wouldn't. I have a kid (granted, a boy) on the young end for his class and it can be a big difference. Ds1 is firmly still a kid but starting in 3rd grade, some became tweens. Socially he was left behind. I think tween hood is only the beginning and it is just tough to be the youngest.

We had a similar experience in third grade although the kids that were in that tween mode were all 9 turning 10 vs 8 turning 9. We are very lucky that DS and most of his friends are March-June birthdays so they are all on the same page socially.

Around here, if you want to enter early, your child has to go through a series of psychological testing that is done privately. Your child has to score In something like the. 98th or 99th percentile and a least two grade levels ahead (something along those lines). Admission ultimately lies with the principals so your child can be off the charts and they can still reject your child.

[wellyes]

Don't do it. Kids get older so much earlier these days anyway. Let her stay in the Dora the Explorer peer group, not accelerate to the group that idolizes Justin Beiber. Academically a bright child can be challenged in any environment.

[edurnemk]

I wouldn't. DD is 13, heading to high school. IME, and per the school counselors, the differences often aren't that pronounced in elementary but really show up in middle school. DD is doing okay, but I wish that we would have just waited a year. I think it would have been really, really good for her. She's very capable academically, but MS is more about social issues than academics (from the kid perspective). It's been hard.

:yeahthat: I was a year ahead, and had no problems academically, but MS and HS were hard socially, both for me and my parents (since I wanted to do all the stuff my friends were allowed to do). It's also true I had classmates who were 1.5+ years older than me. I contemplated having DS skip ahead since he's 2 weeks from the cut-off date, but I decided against it after considering the implications in MS and HS, plus in preschool there's a huge difference between him and his youngest classmates. He's in Montessori so I feel content that he can go at his own pace and has enough challenges.

[infomama]

I wouldnt do it. Dd1 missed the cut off by a week so she is the oldest in her class. She is excelling and is not bored in the least. Dd2 will make the cut off by a week...we are having her goto preK.

[AshleyAnn]

Im also considering this for my Nov child. I worry all the redshirted kids will push the average age in her class even higher than it would be if everyone went on time. She's in full time regular daycare and is advanced academically and socially. I wouldn't consider it for a child who hasn't already experienced a true school environment.

I was moved as a child from a district that did two yrs of K to a district that did one between K and 1st so they put me in 1st even though I was younger. I was still bored academically later on but socially it wasn't much of an issue. Middle school was a bit tough socially but i think middle school is tough on all kids at some point.

[Cam&Clay]

I'm confused by your numbers.

My DS2 was born in 12/07 and will start kindergarten in Fall 2013 as a 5 1/2 year old. Our cutoff is 9/30

If your DD was born in 12/08 and you start her in K in Fall 2012, won't she be only 3 years old and then turn 4 in December? Starting her a year early would be in Fall 2013 as a 4 year old who will turn 5 in December.

[jellibeans]

I think that there are school cutoffs for a reason and would not send my child to school if I were in your position. What's the hurry?

[egoldber]

I think it's one thing to test to see if a kid who is within a few weeks of the cutoff meets the criteria to start school early. But your DD would be 4.5 and starting K with kids up to 18 months older than her. That is a huge gap difference at that age.

I would personally wait and start her on time.

[HIU8]

I think it's one thing to test to see if a kid who is within a few weeks of the cutoff meets the criteria to start school early. But your DD would be 4.5 and starting K with kids up to 18 months older than her. That is a huge gap difference at that age.

I would personally wait and start her on time.

I agree. Plus, some redshirted kids could be up to 2 years older. That is a HUGE difference in a classroom.

[pinkmomagain]

I would think very carefully about this, purely for social reasons. Girls have very sophisticated personalities...I would not want to push my daughter to be the youngest in the class.

I have two dds that fall towards the cut off, not past the cut off (one is a sept baby, one an oct baby...our district cut off is 12/1). They are on the "younger" side socially...they do fine, I think, because there are plenty of others also on that end of the scale - still within cutoff - so a pool of others who might be on their "level." But I wouldn't want them to be off the map, you know? In fact, there is one particular girl in dd1's grade whose mom lied about her dec birthdate, and she does struggle socially.

[sste]

Just to bring up another perspective, I would never do this because I selfishly want my kids in the house with me as long as possible. I know everyone claims they can't wait to offload their teen but I really don't want to miss a single one of my school cut-off allotted years with them. Not one! DD is a matter of days past the cut-off and I won't start her early even though DD, at least to date in her toddler development, appears to an extremely quick learner. Also I love our preschool and I am not thrilled with how pressurized kindy appears to have become so I have no big drive to rush her in.

[scrooks]

Just to bring up another perspective, I would never do this because I selfishly want my kids in the house with me as long as possible. I know everyone claims they can't wait to offload their teen but I really don't want to miss a single one of my school cut-off allotted years with them. Not one! DD is a matter of days past the cut-off and I won't start her early even though DD, at least to date in her toddler development, appears to an extremely quick learner. Also I love our preschool and I am not thrilled with how pressurized kindy appears to have become so I have no big drive to rush her in.

:yeahthat: I completely agree with this perspective too!

[MontrealMum]

I'm a bit confused. You're considering enrolling her for Kindy in Fall 2012 in a district with a Sept. 1 cutoff? And her b-day is Dec. 2008 (according to your siggy)? That's not 1 year early, it's 2. Or maybe I'm misreading your post? I mean, technically it's 1 year and 3 months, but in terms of when she's supposed to be enrolled, it's 2 years. Fall 2012 is for kids born in 2006/2007. The year she should be enrolled according to your district cutoff and her b-day is 2014. So, 1 year early would be 2013.

[smilequeen]

My MIL was a HS teacher and she said in HS is where the problems tend to show up for the younger kids. Our DD has a summer birthday and we have decided to hold her basically for social reasons. I am second guessing the decision a bit but with the prevalence of red shirting I don't want her to be in a class with kids a lot older than her. Bullying is such an issue these days I don't want to make her a target.

My mom is also a HS teacher and she says this isn't really true. All kids mature at different rates. Period. And the research really does show that younger kids do do better, are more likely to be at the top of the class, etc.

ALL kids have struggles. MS and HS pretty much suck. Whether you were or were not redshirted really isn't going to make a difference. Your personality might. And the fact is, your kid is going to struggle with stuff. You just can't make all of that go away by waiting an extra year for school. You can help teach them to deal with it and they'll be better off in the long run.

BUT...that refers to kids within the realm of the normal age group. It's an argument against redshirting. It's not an argument for pushing ahead. I would not push ahead a child that far from the cut off.

[smilequeen]

I'm a bit confused. You're considering enrolling her for Kindy in Fall 2012 in a district with a Sept. 1 cutoff? And her b-day is Dec. 2008 (according to your siggy)? That's not 1 year early, it's 2. Or maybe I'm misreading your post? I mean, technically it's 1 year and 3 months, but in terms of when she's supposed to be enrolled, it's 2 years. Fall 2012 is for kids born in 2006/2007. The year she should be enrolled according to your district cutoff and her b-day is 2014. So, 1 year early would be 2013.

I think she just has her years off...new year confusion and all. She says it's time to enroll for fall 2011, so I think she's just off on the years.

[wendmatt]

Good timing! We discussed this over dinner tonight. DD is in 3rd grade and is exceptionally bright. You can test out to skip a grade and I have no doubt with covering some of the 4th grade material with dd she could pass it. BUT, she is a skinny, shy little thing and we would not want her to be going into middle school too early, basically throwing her to the lions. Social aspects are so important and as pp said, I don't want her going off to college at 17. Nephew in law was a year younger and struggled with all the social stuff, not driving etc and going to college at a young age. For us it's a def no, once she gets to middle school and does ap classes she'll be fine academically too.

[vludmilla]

I am not a fan of red shirting but I don't think I would do it. I think being much younger for grade can be just as much a problem as red shirting.

[hillview]

I'd check with her teachers. Unless they were strong advocated I wouldn't.
/hillary

[maestramommy]

I'm a Dec baby, and wasn't held back, but wish I had been. I always seemed to have trouble socially. I ended up repeating freshman year of college when I changed schools and majors. You'd not think it would make a difference starting college at 18 vs. 17, but boy it sure did.

[jse107]

What's the rush?!?

Granted, we did redshirt DS for maturity reasons and we haven't regretted it. He's way above average but has never said he was bored. I worry more about him being a leader or having self-confidence than his grades. The smartest kids aren't always the most successful (it helps obviously).

I'm with the majority here--wait.

[ZeeBaby]

I really think it is about the individual child. I was skipped a grade and did well in MS and HS. Both academically and socially. You know your child, if she passes the academic tests then you need will need to deide if you want to move ahead or not.

[JustMe]

I would not do it either. Mostly because without having a crystal ball to tell me otherwise, I would worry about if she would still be advanced socially (academically as well, but more so socially) when she got older. I would not take a chance on that, and would rather find ways to challenge my child academically (if that is the concern) in Kindergarten at her normal start date as opposed to testing her in early. I realize she would only be a few months younger than some of the August kids...but still.

[Tondi G]

I started K early ... I have a November birthday so I turned 5, 2 months after the start of the school year. I did just fine. I have a friend who I went to school with who has a mid January birthday. We were in Private school in Elementary and she and her parents were actually given the choice to have her graduate 6th grade with me or to stay for another year. They decided to let her move on to middle school and she did very well.

Our school district has a 12/2 cut off .... but they are going to be slowly moving that cut off date up by a month each year until they reach a September cut off date like most school districts have. If your DD is ready academically and emotionally I say go ahead and enroll her. If she is shy or has trouble making friends then I might hold her back to start when she is supposed to. It really depends on the individual child.

[Uno-Mom]

I'm skipped threads about this topic before but read through this one. Thanks for sharing all those thoughts. It dawned on me that this question will apply to Sprog in a few years, with her late November bday.

This inspired me to share this question with dh - he'd never thought about it but his first reaction was to hold her back so she would be the biggest kid in class vs the littlest. :) I let him know that there's a little more to consider than that... and that being the "biggest" kid in class isn't necessarily an advantage for a girl! There are slightly more nuanced developmental factors to consider. Heehee.

I'm not ready to obsess about this yet but I am going to check into my district's age cut-off date. I wonder if it's before or after Sprog's bday...?

[elektra]

So you are thinking of enrolling her so that she will start K in 2012? Won't she only be 3? Turning 4 that December?
Or starting in 2013 when she is 4 going on 5?
3 is ridiculously young IMO and I can't imagine how that would be the best option. And 4, turning 5 in December isn't something I would consider either.

[MoJo]

I wouldn't.

I just discussed this with a friend last week. . . who, like others here, started K when she was 4 and regrets it to this day even though her own children are in now in high school. Mostly because she was not socially ready for college at 17.

AND, in my own family of origin, following in school two years apart was much easier than one year. My sister, who was only one year behind my brother, found all the teachers expected her to be just like my brother. But my brother, who was two years behind me, didn't run into that nearly as much.

[kijip]

I am not a fan of redshirting which in practice has gone from holding late summer babies back a year to start to starting any kid a whole year late. Still, I think it is really common right now and that would give me pause to start my preschooler early. She would be 4.5 in a class with some kids who are closer to 7 than 6.

[arivecchi]

3 is ridiculously young IMO and I can't imagine how that would be the best option. And 4, turning 5 in December isn't something I would consider either.
:yeahthat:

We rush our kids too much these days. Let her have fun. :)

She has her whole life to be a student.

[MSWR0319]

DS was born in Oct 08. He literally misses the cutoff by less than a couple of weeks. He seems to be above average for his age already (recognizes all letters, knows all sounds, starting to sound out words, etc) in comparison to his peers around here, but no way will I send him early. Mom is a K teacher and DH had an Aug bday and could have been redshirted, but wasn't and was later held back in school which really bothered him. Both believe (as do I) that waiting until he is able to go per the rules is the best idea, even if he may need challenged later on. If you're really dead set on it, you could always send her to the screening and see what they say.

[Melbel]

I definitely would not do it. DD1 missed the cut off by less than a month. When she was first born, we were disappointed, but over time, we have learned what a blessing it was in disguise. DD1 is very bright and academically would have been fine in the next grade. By being one of the oldest (by far not the oldest due to prevalent redshirting), socially, I do think she is at an advantage. She is mature and confident. She is not intimidated by her classmates.

My MIL's greatest regret in raising her 2 sons was not holding back BIL. My best friend's pediatrician states that nearly every day, a parent tells him that he/she regrets not holding back their child, but he does not hear the converse. The decision whether or not to red shirt is a very difficult one to make and is highly dependent upon not only the individual child, but also the red shirting trends in the area. Of course, the issue here is even more clear because it is not about holding back, bur rather, whether you should push a child forward who does not meet the cutoff. I would not attempt to push a child forward, without strong evidence that they NEED to skip a great for their social/academic well-being (ETA not just in the short term, but also in the long term).

DD2 has an early June birthday, and I am bummed that in all likelihood, she will be one of the youngest (9/1 cut off but there is widespread red shirting here).

[pb&j]

I started young - just barely made the 12/31 cutoff, and I wouldn't have changed a thing. I'm pretty bummed that DD missed the (hard and fast) cutoff by several weeks, I think she will do much better being challenged and being on the young side than being on the old side. Whenever she misbehaves at preschool, they send her in with the older kids where she is much better behaved. Her day care used to do this, too.

I am considering private K for her so she can start early, but have some time to think about it.

ETA: I really think it depends so much on the child. No way would I have considered starting DS early.

[khalloc]

My DD has an early November birthday. The cutoff here is 9/1 also. I didnt try to enroll her early. Even though I think she could have been fine.

But I have to say its been great for her so far. I wouldnt change a thing. She is learning, she is ahead of the game (she is very bright). Her friend turned 5 about 2 weeks before the cutoff and I can definitely notice a maturity difference between my DD and her BFF. Its a good thing to be on the higher end of the class, and not always a good thing to be trying to play catch up to everyone else. Your DD isnt really missing the cutoff by a small amount either. its like 3-4 months. I would enroll her when she is supposed to be enrolled. (Fall 2014 it seems?)

[mmommy]

I didn't get a chance to read all of the responses, but here is my brother's story:
He was advanced in K, so (this was back in the early 70s) the school, along with my parent's, decided to skip him ahead to 1st. The guy is brilliant and never had to try in school even once he was a grade ahead. However over the years he had a bunch of social issues. Good thing he is really laid back, because many of those issues would have caused more lasting trauma to a more anxious or nervous person. He was smaller than the other boys, the girls wouldn't look twice at him as he got older, etc, etc, etc. He's gone on to be a successful, but probably underachieving for his intelligence, very social person, but even he says it wasn't easy and that he would never suggest skipping a kid ahead. When it came to deciding when to put his own kids in school, he actually red shirted his more anxiety ridden perfectionist son.

I think some of these social issues might (or maybe not) be even harder on a young girl.

There really isn't any glory in not turning 21 before you graduate college unless you're doing it when you're just 13. I'd suggest finding some activities to nurture a love of learning outside of the classroom, and sticking with the suggested ages for school.

[tabegle]

I think she just has her years off...new year confusion and all. She says it's time to enroll for fall 2011, so I think she's just off on the years.

Yes, thank you! I do have my years off! It's time to enroll for Fall 2012, I'm thinking of enrolling her Fall 2013 instead of fall 2014. Agh! :)

I haven't gotten a chance to read all the responses yet, but thank you all for your thoughts and perspectives. This site seems to have gathered a bunch of people whose opinions I respect and I will certainly take all I can into consideration. I'll adjust my OP to correct the dates.

[Jai]

I started private kindergarten at 4, and I was still a bit bored academically when I went to public school in 3rd grade. Thankfully, i tested into the gifted program. Most of my friends had been skipped so I was actually one of the older kids in my group (I have an October birthday.). I never had any problems socially. I think it truly depends on the child.

[sariana]

Yes, thank you! I do have my years off! It's time to enroll for Fall 2012, I'm thinking of enrolling her Fall 2013 instead of fall 2014. Agh! :)

I haven't gotten a chance to read all the responses yet, but thank you all for your thoughts and perspectives. This site seems to have gathered a bunch of people whose opinions I respect and I will certainly take all I can into consideration. I'll adjust my OP to correct the dates.

I didn't notice the date thing until others pointed it out. You have a LONG time before you need to make any decisions. I think a common thread was "It depends on the child." Your DD just turned 3, right? You will have a much better sense of her proper placement a year from now. My DD just turned 4, and she is SO different from a year ago.

[lovin2shop]

I considered accelerating my older DS as his birthday is right after the cut off date, and he was moved up into a T-K program at preschool which would have counted as K with no further testing. I spoke with many, many teachers and administrators to get their opinion, and found it interesting that all of the elementary teachers encouraged accelerating, while all of the middle school and high school teachers recommended not accelerating. We choose not to accelerate, and he is one of the oldest in his grade though we have many red shirts as well. Fast forward to 3rd grade, and he is doing great. Socially, he benefited a ton from the extra year; really, I can't understate what a difference that year made for him. Academically, he definitely could use more challenge, but this probably would have also been the case for him if we had accelerated. I was definitely worried that boredom would be a problem and was open to accelerating later if this was the case, but school has been very smooth and a happy experience for him. I think it has a whole lot to do with the personality of the individual child.

[lablover]

I definitely would not do it. DD1 missed the cut off by less than a month. When she was first born, we were disappointed, but over time, we have learned what a blessing it was in disguise. DD1 is very bright and academically would have been fine in the next grade. By being one of the oldest (by far not the oldest due to prevalent redshirting), socially, I do think she is at an advantage. She is mature and confident. She is not intimidated by her classmates.

:yeahthat:

Same experience here with DS so far. DS missed the cutoff by a few weeks and he is very advanced academically. He would have tested in if we had tried but because he was so shy I didn't do it. Overall he is not challenged academically (working on this) and is way ahead of his classmates but seeing the confidence he has in the classroom along with the social maturity he has developed tells me that he is where he needs to be. We still have issues with his shyness but I truly believe that he would have suffered much more socially if he had been pushed ahead. Also, I think he still would have been bored if he was a grade ahead because he just absorbs new material so fast that I don't think it would have made a difference what track he was on. I think for him to be challenged in the elementary school years he would have to be homeschooled.

Due to our experience with DS, we decided (after I agonized for a year) to hold back DD, who made the cutoff by 3 days. This was after I wished so hard for her to be born before the cutoff because at the time I was bummed that DS missed it. In retrospect I now really wish she was born after the cutoff because the decision would have been out of my hands and I wouldn't have had to stress about it for so long! She is in a wonderful pre-K program this year that really emphasizes non-academic things such as emotional development, etc. and she loves it there. I think she is a bright child, but she is nowhere near the level that DS is and I really don't think she will be bored in school even being on the older side.

[wimama]

I would not accelerate her. My DS is in kindergarten now and he is one of the youngest kids in his class. Socially I think he shows his age. That said. He is also one of the brightest. Last year in K4 he was the only kid in his school who started K4 reading. He is bright, and yet he does not seem bored in class. There is a lot more to kindergarten than just academics. I just glanced at DS class birthday list and socially the oldest kids are noticeably the most skilled socially and the most self assured kids. It is easy to see the age differences in the kids if you watch them interact.

My DD misses the cut off for our school by weeks. While I was so done being pregnant, I was quite relieved when she wasn't born before the cut off. She will likely be the oldest kid in her grade. I think that will give her a distinct advantage.

If you feel the need to challenge her than you should homeschool her. You can supplement the kindergarten curriculum with additional material at home. That is what we do for our DS. We have to work to find reading material that is appropriate for him. What is appropriate for his reading ability is not where his maturity is at. He is still reading above grade level, but eventually his friends will catch up. I personally don't feel knowing ABC, 123 and reading are the best predictors of academic success. While some kids are accelerated and do well, I think socially being younger causes many kids to struggle. I don't want to watch my DS and DD struggle with those issues and I do think that social immaturity can also influence academic performance.

[Kindra178]

I would not accelerate her. My DS is in kindergarten now and he is one of the youngest kids in his class. Socially I think he shows his age. That said. He is also one of the brightest. Last year in K4 he was the only kid in his school who started K4 reading. He is bright, and yet he does not seem bored in class. There is a lot more to kindergarten than just academics. I just glanced at DS class birthday list and socially the oldest kids are noticeably the most skilled socially and the most self assured kids. It is easy to see the age differences in the kids if you watch them interact.

My DD misses the cut off for our school by weeks. While I was so done being pregnant, I was quite relieved when she wasn't born before the cut off. She will likely be the oldest kid in her grade. I think that will give her a distinct advantage.

If you feel the need to challenge her than you should homeschool her. You can supplement the kindergarten curriculum with additional material at home. That is what we do for our DS. We have to work to find reading material that is appropriate for him. What is appropriate for his reading ability is not where his maturity is at. He is still reading above grade level, but eventually his friends will catch up. I personally don't feel knowing ABC, 123 and reading are the best predictors of academic success. While some kids are accelerated and do well, I think socially being younger causes many kids to struggle. I don't want to watch my DS and DD struggle with those issues and I do think that social immaturity can also influence academic performance.

Completely agree with this. One thing I have recently learned - early reading means nothing! It just means your child is an early reader. K teachers used to be prevented from teaching reading, even if kids showed readiness, citing studies that it was not developmentally appropriate for a k'er to read. K should be about social maturity. I, too, was happy when my twins were born in September. No need to make choices about sending or holding.

[justlearning]

I haven't read any responses but here's mine--I don't think starting her early would be a good idea. My brother turned 5 in Dec. the year that he was in K, and he always hated being the youngest in his class. He was fine academically but somewhat awkward socially.

Many schools in our area are implementing earlier cutoff dates, e.g., having to be 5 by June 1st in the year that you start K. So DS1 whose birthday is the end of May has always been the youngest in his class. Their reasoning is that kids do better when they are more mature when they start K.

My DS2's birthday is in Dec. and he's very advanced academically. Although he would do fine right now with 1st (and perhaps even 2nd) grade work, I would not want for him to suffer socially so we're keeping him in K and not having him skip a grade. His teacher has been great at giving him supplemental projects (e.g., today he taught the class about Groundhog's Day, reading them a book, describing the tradition, and asking/answering the students' questions). So perhaps your DD's K teacher could do the same.

[MommyAllison]

We considered it for DD1, whose birthday is the first week of November. I was one of the youngest in my grade (just made the cutoff by 4 days) and am very glad my parents didn't hold me back. I was bored a lot of the time in school anyway. It was lame to get my driver's license so much later than most of my classmates (particularly the redshirted boys!), but there were no real issues for me.

We ended up starting DD1 on time rather than early, for many of the reasons PP have mentioned. We homeschool, so it doesn't affect her nearly as much as a public/private school student, but we still didn't want her to be in high school youth group a year early, be the last to hit puberty, or be the youngest/smallest child in dance/sports/whatever trying to keep up with older kids. Thankfully homeschooling offers plenty of flexibility curriculum wise, so she is working on some 1st grade materials, though she is actually just in K. We're happy with our choice.