Questions about blankets/loveys

[weech]

DS is getting more and more attached to his blanket. It freaks DH out and he says DS should only have his blanket in his crib (or sometimes on a car ride).

Do we really need to have hard and fast rules about this? Is it bad for DS to have his blanket during the day? I feel like I'd rather him have the blanket than his binky, but is a "comfort item" necessary at all?

Also, I bought a new blanket so I could switch off while the other was getting washed and I tried to give it to DS today and he FLIPPED. He immediately knew it was not his blanket. Is that normal?! What can I do short of dragging the new one on the ground until it looks older?

[ahisma]

We left it at home, basically because I didn't want the stress of losing it.

I have no tips about the duplicate. I tried that with DD. She knew, instantly. She accepted it, but as an addition not a substitute. So, I had to keep track of TWO at all times. Less than ideal, for sure!

[boogiemomz]

For a while I tried to maintain the "lovey stays in the bed" policy. Just doesn't work anymore. She takes it to preschool, they actually ask me to make sure she has it because it really helped her the first few days when she was upset and scared. She's totally fine in there now, but bunny goes every day and that's how it is. Sometimes when we're at home, I'll leave it in her bed just so we won't be searching for it at bed time, but just today she bumped her head on the table, started crying, and immediately she said "I want bunny!" We just go with it. I think it's okay for them to have a comfort item like that. (Didn't we all have a blanket, stuffed animal, etc that went everywhere with us for a time?)

That said, we do have a few backups, some of which are quite obviously in much better shape than others, and amazingly she doesn't seem to mind/notice when they get switched out. We have already lost one or two, so we would have had a major crisis on our hands if she had to have the particular one.

In your case, I would totally consider dragging the new one around, mashing it into the dirt, etc, to get it a little beat up. He might still be able to tell, though, if the texture, smell, taste, is a product of him chewing on it, sleeping with it, etc. So... yeah, no solution that I can think of for that. Good luck!

[rlu]

The blankey would travel with DS to Grandma's house for naps or on vacation, but otherwise it stayed at our house. I don't honestly remember if we let him take it out of his room, we had the dogs when DS was OP son's age so I suspect we left in the crib to avoid excessive dog hair.

Not sure how to help you with the dup - DS's blankeys were made by my sister who made two of them at the same time so we could switch them out. Once DS realized there were two though, he wanted both. When she made a third (different material though) he accepted it as an addition not a substitute and eventually gave me the third one to take on a business trip with me ("full of his love" as I always told him about his blankeys).

eta: I can't help but think of Linus pining in front of the washing machine waiting for his to come out of the laundry. DS was insistant on having his, but not quite to that extent.

[lalasmama]

I should give the disclaimer that my DD still has a lovey at nearly 8yo, my DNiece still has her lovey at 9.5yo...

I don't think a lovey needs to be regulated until a child is a bit older (like 5yo), and it's interrupting typical play.... So, if a child (at an older preschool age) is unable to play unless the lovey is next to them, it may be time to work on limits. But, if it's a thing where the lovey comes on car rides and bed and nap time and when feelings are hurt, I think it's fine.

I think that as a toddler, so many things are changing, and there's so little control a toddler has in his world. He knows that Lovey can be with him wherever he is, whatever he is doing. Lovey is a good "friend" who never leaves, never moves away from him, and can be dragged, pushed, bit, hit, and otherwise "abused" without complaint. It has a familiar scent (and, likely, a familiar taste too, LOL, depending on the child!)... It's a piece of home (and mom and dad!) that can be taken anywhere!

Obviously, I'm a pro-lovey, assuming it's not interfering with life and is reasonable (ie, a blanket, stuffed animal, etc).

[maylips]

I should give the disclaimer that my DD still has a lovey at nearly 8yo, my DNiece still has her lovey at 9.5yo...

I don't think a lovey needs to be regulated until a child is a bit older (like 5yo), and it's interrupting typical play.... So, if a child (at an older preschool age) is unable to play unless the lovey is next to them, it may be time to work on limits. But, if it's a thing where the lovey comes on car rides and bed and nap time and when feelings are hurt, I think it's fine.

I think that as a toddler, so many things are changing, and there's so little control a toddler has in his world. He knows that Lovey can be with him wherever he is, whatever he is doing. Lovey is a good "friend" who never leaves, never moves away from him, and can be dragged, pushed, bit, hit, and otherwise "abused" without complaint. It has a familiar scent (and, likely, a familiar taste too, LOL, depending on the child!)... It's a piece of home (and mom and dad!) that can be taken anywhere!

Obviously, I'm a pro-lovey, assuming it's not interfering with life and is reasonable (ie, a blanket, stuffed animal, etc).

:yeahthat:

DD has had a teddy bear since she was 8 months old and she will turn 5 next month. The only time I limited her taking Theodore with her is somewhere away from our house where she'd be playing and likely forget him (or I would!) If she's going to sleep anywhere...in the carseat (on a trip), at someone's house, etc, she can take it. Now she pretty much only "needs" him when she's sleeping at night but she used to carry him around the house EVERYWHERE. I would feel terrible keeping it away from her.

DS is quite the hoarder, however, and has probably 12 "loveys" in his bed at this very moment. Still, though, there is one blanket that he asks for more than anything and I feel just like the PP wrote - it's his one thing he can control. I just make sure, like my daughter, that he doesn't take it out of the car if we're going somewhere where he'll drop it and leave it. *shudder*

[fauve01]

I should give the disclaimer that my DD still has a lovey at nearly 8yo, my DNiece still has her lovey at 9.5yo...

I don't think a lovey needs to be regulated until a child is a bit older (like 5yo), and it's interrupting typical play.... So, if a child (at an older preschool age) is unable to play unless the lovey is next to them, it may be time to work on limits. But, if it's a thing where the lovey comes on car rides and bed and nap time and when feelings are hurt, I think it's fine.

I think that as a toddler, so many things are changing, and there's so little control a toddler has in his world. He knows that Lovey can be with him wherever he is, whatever he is doing. Lovey is a good "friend" who never leaves, never moves away from him, and can be dragged, pushed, bit, hit, and otherwise "abused" without complaint. It has a familiar scent (and, likely, a familiar taste too, LOL, depending on the child!)... It's a piece of home (and mom and dad!) that can be taken anywhere!

Obviously, I'm a pro-lovey, assuming it's not interfering with life and is reasonable (ie, a blanket, stuffed animal, etc).

:yeahthat::yeahthat:

DD is 8+ and still has her lovey. now Baby stays in DD's bed at all times, but when she was younger, Baby went with dd all over the house. when we went out in the car, Baby came with us but ALWAYS stayed in the car where she was safe (and clean!). DD accepted that was the rule.

When DD started K, Baby came along in DD's bag but didn't come out all day. DD was just comforted to know Babe was back there in her cubby.

HTH!

[weech]

I'm glad I'm not going nuts! DH had me thinking that I was babying DS and that he would go to college with his blanket :ROTFLMAO: I think I'll have a discussion with DH tonight about this. I felt so cruel not letting him have it around the house after he bumped his head!

[hillview]

I should give the disclaimer that my DD still has a lovey at nearly 8yo, my DNiece still has her lovey at 9.5yo...

I don't think a lovey needs to be regulated until a child is a bit older (like 5yo), and it's interrupting typical play.... So, if a child (at an older preschool age) is unable to play unless the lovey is next to them, it may be time to work on limits. But, if it's a thing where the lovey comes on car rides and bed and nap time and when feelings are hurt, I think it's fine.

I think that as a toddler, so many things are changing, and there's so little control a toddler has in his world. He knows that Lovey can be with him wherever he is, whatever he is doing. Lovey is a good "friend" who never leaves, never moves away from him, and can be dragged, pushed, bit, hit, and otherwise "abused" without complaint. It has a familiar scent (and, likely, a familiar taste too, LOL, depending on the child!)... It's a piece of home (and mom and dad!) that can be taken anywhere!

Obviously, I'm a pro-lovey, assuming it's not interfering with life and is reasonable (ie, a blanket, stuffed animal, etc).

DS1 needed his bunny at school (age 3-4) for almost a year on and off. He is now 6.5 and has sort of outgrown him -- he is in bed with him but does not go on trips with us although 3-4 other animals (varies which ones) do come.

DS2 is 4.5 has a baby doll ("baby") and a blankie ("taggy") that he sleeps with all the time. In the mornings they go to the couch to snuggle with him etc but I don't let them leave the house -- DS2 does fine without them and it isn't an issue at all.

/hillary

[maestramommy]

yes, it is normal for a child to know something is their lovey, and not an identical substitute. I refer you to "Knufflebunny Too: Case of Mistaken Identity" by Mo Willems:tongue5:. But it happens in our house too. Laurel just feels her lovey, or smells it, and she KNOWS. She will accept the sub if the old one really needs to be washed for some reason (like it got puked on). Same with Arwyn. It took me a while to realize her real lovey had lost an eyebrow:hysterical: I was wondering why she always just stare at the lovey's face. Dora's the only one that doesn't care, because she has 4 identical loveys, and they are all equally chewed up. We instituted a "every night Lambie goes into the hamper" rule a couple of years back because it was getting disgusting.

If your DS really loves his blanket, no reason to go out and buy another lovey. And we don't start restricting loveys to bedtime only until about age 4. But we of course allow them in the car during road trips.

[lmwbasye]

Taggie goes EVERYWHERE with us and I think that it is completely normal and acceptable. Little ones can have a lot of stress in our lives that we may brush off as not a big deal. If having good ol Tag with George makes him feel better than there is no harm, IMO. He will grow out of it eventually.

The cutoff for us is Kindergarten for bringing it to school or a public place (although it can go in the car). Liam stopped bringing it on his own before then anyway. I'm sure George will, too.