Would you buy a not-dream house? (long)

[123LuckyMom]

Last year, DH and I seriously considered buying a house we saw in our same town. We knew we wanted to expand our family, and, while we love our house, we only have two bedrooms upstairs, so DS and DD (who's now a reality due in March) will have to share for a while once DD leaves our bedroom. The other two bedrooms are on the ground floor (I use that one as my office) and in the basement (DH uses that one as his office). The house is on a spectacular, fully fenced, lot, though, is beautifully open plan, and is in a fantastic location. It has potential to finish the whole basement, and there's plenty of room on our lot to build an addition. We just haven't gotten around to it, and who knows if we ever will! Also, the other homes on our street are modest. We might not get our money out if we expand, though we probably won't move any time soon.

The house under consideration has five bedrooms-- that's the attraction! We would have enough rooms for both kids, a dedicated guest room, and an office. Downstairs there's a very small formal living room, a huge dining room, two smaller rooms with great built-ins. One would be DH's office and the other a den/library. There's also a large eat-in kitchen. The basement is finished, so we could have a playroom down there. The house is similarly dated to ours, so it would need updates we wouldn't be able to do for a while. It's also on a smaller, sloped lot on a much busier street. Our current house in on a cul-de-sac. The house itself is really characterless compared to ours, which is post and beam construction and really cozy.

We rejected the house because I felt I'd rather put the money into our current home. We haven't done that, though. The other house has just reduced in price drastically, and DH thinks we should consider it again. He loved the other house, but I love our current home, and the thought of having to make our house market ready and then move is really unappealing to me. Yet, we really don't have enough bedrooms in our house as it currently exists unless I give up my office to DS (and then we lose our guest room). The financial burden would be the same if we poured money into this house or bought the other one, except that eventually we would need to update the new home, too.

I just don't love that house. I love the kitchen and the fact of the five bedrooms, but otherwise, I'm just not feeling it. What would you do? Is it really so terrible for DS and DD to share for a few years? Will I regret not having made the move? I'd love to hear your opinions!

[SnuggleBuggles]

It doesn't sound worth it to me. I'd stay put. There are so many great things to be said for a flat, fenced yard and on a cul de sac! I'd find ways to make what you have work.

[stinkyfeet]

In your situation, I would probably go for the bigger home. The attractions of the larger house are very practical (and important to me).

As for expanding your current home, it could easily cost more than you think. I've done a lot of remodeling on our current home, and there are always unexpected costs.

On the other hand, my brother who is in real estate says that when you buy a home you should LOVE it bc you may not be able to sell it if the market is bad.

HTH! :waving4:

[jerseygirl07067]

We are in a similar situation in that we are considering a larger home too, since our current home is on the smaller side for a family of 5. There are great deals to be had on larger homes now, since with the market our money would buy more.

BUT...most larger homes that we have seen are on much smaller lots. We have a huge lot for our subdivision, set back from the road with a large circular driveway the kids can play on. There is a pond in our yard too. Our lot is adjacent to the common area owned by the HOA, which creates an open space right next to our house, the equivalent of 1 1/2 football fields. We just don't want to give that up. There is no other lot like it where we live. Most houses are so close together where we live that this is such a great set up.

I think the fact that you have a fenced in yard and are on a cul de sac is awesome, having small kids. It's one thing to have a big house, but it's also great for them so have a safe place to play outside. Busy streets scare me since drivers just don't pay attention. When they are a bit older, you want them to be able to play outside without you feeling like you have to be out there b/c they are close to a busy street, kwim?

Are they both in the same school district? Something to consider if one district is much better than the other.

Another thing to consider....do you use your guest room often? Otherwise it's extra space you can be using that would otherwise only be used when guests/family come. How many days is that out of the year for you?

Regarding costs, you still have to pay 6% on your house to move, if you're using a realtor and then closing costs again on the new house if you're mortgaging it. and if the new one is bigger, likely higher property taxes and higher utility bills. And there will be things you want to do to the new house too. Big house = more upkeep = more expense.

HTH and that you make the decision you feel most comfortable with. :)

P.S. So when I go through those time periods when I want a larger house, I'll have to come back and reread my post, lol!

[ahisma]

I think I'd stay put and wait for a larger house that you love to come on the market. It sounds like you love your house now and can easily stay there for a while, so why not take your time and wait for something that you love to pop up.

Full disclosure - I live in an older, small house that I love, but do wish that we had more space. DS1 and DS2 share a room, and will do so until DD goes to college. We love the house and the neighborhood (walkable, great friends nearby, all activities walkable, etc.) so we stay put. We may move down the orad, but it would have to be for just the right house.

[niccig]

We have family with simliar layout. 2 upstairs and the Master bedroom is downstairs. They kept their DC in with them for a while, and then put them upstairs with a monitor..yes, she has to go up stairs to them, but now that they're older, it's not an issue.

You might find your layout isn't an issue in a couple of years.

[Mopey]

I can't comment on most of your issue but wanted to say that although we are both girls, sharing a room was really great while growing up! And even if they are boy & girl, you have quite a while before puberty and the dividing of rooms. IMHO For us it was fantastic bonding :)

And your lot sounds great! I used to love to move but now it has to be for all the right reasons. We are in a small 1BR apartment expecting our first and after initially being sure we had to move I realized I live across the street from a playground, three blocks from a big park and two blocks from my mom. Not going anywhere :)

Good luck to you!

[jerseygirl07067]

Oh yes, I forgot to comment that my 2 DDs share a room. DD 3 has her own but it is a bit smaller. The benefits are that when they were going through the "scared of the dark" phase, they felt comforted knowing they were not alone in the room. :)

As the PP said, they could share for quite a while. Puberty is a long way off! (well hopefully it's an eternity away!)

[edurnemk]

If you don't love the location as much as your current one, don't buy it! You can change a lot about a house but not the location.

I got the "need a bigger place" bug recently and started looking at houses. Well, we have such a great location and layout that every time I look at a house I think I like, I then come home and think "but do I like it better than our current home? is it really better?" So far the answer has been "no", when I get home I just know I'd miss it and regret it and I like this place better. So until we find something that we really like better and at a good price we're staying here. We are considering doing some non-major modifications to our home in the coming months if we decided to stay here, to get a couple more years out of the place (we need more closet space mostly).


Is it really so terrible for DS and DD to share for a few years?

No it's not. When my youngest brother was born I was 8.5 yo, my brother was 5 yo and my mom decided the most practical thing was for the baby to have his own room because of our schedules, his naps, and all that, so baby brother was moved into my room and my older brother and I shared a room for around a year. Oh, and I just remembered we also shared for a year when I was 4-5 and he was 1-2 (different house), because my dad needed the third bedroom as an office space / guest room. Definitely not an issue to have them share when they're young.

Oh and if you don't have guests too often, I wouldn't worry about loosing that. We have an inflatable mattress for occasional guests and that has worked out great since it's so rare (on those occasions, DS sleeps with us and the guest gets his room).

[ha98ed14]

I just don't love that house. I love the kitchen and the fact of the five bedrooms, but otherwise, I'm just not feeling it. What would you do? Is it really so terrible for DS and DD to share for a few years? Will I regret not having made the move? I'd love to hear your opinions!

So it's NOT your dream house. Location is EVERYTHING and a busy street is no fun no matter how many bedrooms. The house you have fits you well for now. You can always reconsider when the kids are older and need more space. I'd stay put on your cozy cul-de-sac!

[mom3boys]

Personally I would stay in your current house. I think having a better lot on a not-busy street is a real advantage. You can improve your house, but not your lot, KWIM? Also, I personally prefer a house with character.

Full disclosure, my family is looking to move into a bigger house. But we are 5 people living in 6 rooms total, 3 bedrooms, 1.5 baths. And to be honest, if we were 4 people instead of 5, we might consider staying (well, I should say, if our house could be picked up an moved to a different school district, and had any kind of yard, we might stay despite the size).

Before we had DS3, we had DS1 and DS2 in one bedroom, DH and me in another, and a guest room. I really felt the guest room went to waste. We had guests maybe once every 2-3 months for a weekend, so it was empty most of the time. Now it is a nursery/guest bedroom, and we move DS3 in with us when we have a guest. When he is a little older, he can go into DS1 and 2's room. I actually like that the room is being "used". I don't think a dedicated guest room is a necessity.

Also, DH and I are on a different floor than the kids and always have been. We moved each kid out of our room around 3-4 mos. of age. It's not the ideal arrangement because with a 6 month old I make at least 1 trip downstairs a night, but we deal with it. I guess we're used to it--we have to go downstairs to use the bathroom too, which I somehow managed to do through 3 pregnancies! If I found another house with the same arrangement--the bedrooms on different floors--it wouldn't bother me--when everyone is older it would be nice to be on a different floor for more privacy.

I also wouldn't worry about your DC sharing a room for awhile. I shared a room with my brother until he was 8 and I was 7. It was no big deal. I certainly don't recall feeling weird or uncomfortable about it.

[ShayleighCarsensMom]

I would never move from a cul de sac to a busy street. You can always improve a home, but you can't improve it's location!


Valerie
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[lhafer]

That's a tough one. I'm not sure what I would do in your situation.

When we built our first home, we fell in love with a floorplan that had all of our wants at the time in it. It was a 1.5 story, 3 bedroom plus a study, 3 car garage with game room and media room upstairs. All other living was downstairs. The downside was it was in a neighborhood we didn't love, but it was okay. We decided to buy the house. We lived there for almost 5 years. DD1 was born when we lived there, and we had a dedicated guest room (important to us). But the things I didn't like (or didn't initially notice) about the neighborhood REALLY began to knaw at me: no sidewalks, lived by a train track, golf course community where kids/teenagers drove golf carts all over the place, high HOA fees for not a lot of amenities, etc. We sold it.

We built house #2 (where we are currently) - pretty much a dream home for us. We LOVE the neighborhood. We LOVE our house (a one story 4 bedroom plus study, plus gameroom downstairs, 3 car garage). But because we live in a 3,000sqft house on a normal lot, the yard is very small. While I love our neighborhood, the amenities, the neighbors, the ambiance, etc - I am already itching to find another house with more space (bigger lot) after 2 years of living here just because I am tired of how close my neighbors are to me.

As a matter of fact - we will probably move again in the next 2-3 years to an area that has acreage lots. So all that is to say - I would probably stay where you are because you can change your house to meet your needs...you can't change the location (or streets, or yard size, etc) to meet your needs. It sounds like your current house would be perfect if you expand it to meet the needs of your family.

[Tondi G]

I wouldn't give up a cul de sac for a busy street and a sloped yard. I would stay where you are. The kids can share a room and you could always transform your DH's basement office into a guest room if you needed to have guests (they don't typically stay for too long!).

We have friends who have a 2 bdrm apartment and have 4 kids. A DD, DS, DD (11, 10 & 4) share a room and the "baby (who is a year old) is still in their bedroom in a crib. I'm sure they will be finding a way to squeeze the crib into the "kids room". They did give the kids the "master"/larger bedroom to begin with.

Location is everything!!!!

[sariana]

If you don't love the location as much as your current one, don't buy it! You can change a lot about a house but not the location.

:yeahthat:

[kijip]

I would stay. Location is key.

[Green_Tea]

Is it really so terrible for DS and DD to share for a few years?

I think it's a great thing for siblings to share rooms, and even if we lived in a house that had enough bedrooms for everyone, I'd probably STILL have them share. We also know plenty of families who's opposite sex kids share a room by choice, not necessity.

If you don't love the house, I say wait.

[gamma]

I think it's a great thing for siblings to share rooms, and even if we lived in a house that had enough bedrooms for everyone, I'd probably STILL have them share. We also know plenty of families who's opposite sex kids share a room by choice, not necessity.

If you don't love the house, I say wait.

PBK catalog has some nice ideas for opposite sex kids sharing a room.

[hellokitty]

Your title mentions, "dream house," but when you speak of the other house, it doesn't sound like your dream house. If it's your dream house, you'd be head over heels in love with it. I would wait, I think that location makes a huge difference. Our current house is ok, but its location is excellent and that makes a big difference. I know ppl who have nice houses but the location isn't so great, it depends on priorities, but to me, it sounds as if you aren't crazy about the location of the house. I also agree with the pp who said that siblings sharing a room isn't a bad thing. We have a 4 bdrm house, but currently, DS1 and DS2 share a room and technically DS3 could fit in there too if we wanted him to. There is a possibility that in the next 2-4 yrs, DH may relocate for a different job, so we would have to move. I already told him that if we move, I would rather just get a 3 bdrm house, since at least 2 (or even 3) of the kids could share a room and realistically in 10 yrs, our oldest will be off to college. I don't want to be stuck with a huge house that I have to downgrade again. I'd rather have a house that is more flexible to our current and future needs. So, something to keep in mind. I know that the current trend is bigger is better, but from my observations in the past few yrs (many of DH's co-workers are empty nesters with huge houses, so I'm seeing that POV now too), I can see how a house that is too big can also be a burden later on to downgrade from.

Oh and I think our guest room is a waste. If we lived in a more popular area, it would probably get more use. However, we are in the middle of nowhere, the closest airport is over an hr away and there are very few tourist attractions in our area. Our guest room only gets used *maybe* 1x a yr. I don't know how often yours would get used, but at the time when I bought our current house I thought a guest room would be very important. Now, 9 yrs later, I realize that I didn't really think that through very clearly.

[123LuckyMom]

Thanks for your opinions, you guys! I told DH tonight that I don't want to go see that house again, even if it is a steal. I really do love my house, and even if we do nothing to it, I think we'll be able to manage even in the long term. The worst that will happen is that I'll lose my office to DS when the kids hit puberty. That's no tragedy, and maybe we'll do an addition by then.

It's such a blessing to have a big fenced garden where DS can explore and race around on his Gator. We have mature apple and pear trees and lots of black raspberries and wild grapes to pick in the summer. We're a short path through the woods to our local college campus, so we can walk from our house to everything in town through campus rather than on the street. I love all the beams and skylights in our home. I love that DS can ride his tricycle all through the main floor in the winter and ride his big boy bike on our long, flat driveway and around our cul-de-sac when the weather permits. I love almost all our neighbors. I do not want to move.

Now that you've reassured me that DS and DD can share for a while without that being a problem. I feel we can stay here and spend our money in this cozy home! Thanks!

[mackmama]

I think you definitely made the right choice. Location is key. Enjoy reveling in your current home! :)