DH and travel anxiety

[firstbaby]

DH's work travel is going to be increasing - I am thinking up to 3 or 4 days a month. Though he can mostly control the dates, the regular travel will need to be done to be successful as his role in the company evolves. He has been with the company for several years.

He is on travel this week and has been a basket case. His sister died on 9/11 and he has travelled as little as possible since. This trip has been the worst because it has been multiple flights to multiple cities and long flights to boot. He was crying when he left and called me from the airport yesterday getting ready to board another flight and was about to break down. He has physical symptoms besides the crying - his heart races, he gets sweaty, feels his vision closing in. He has also only slept three hours each of the nights he has been gone.

He wants to have a conversation with his boss to say he can't travel any more. This would gravely limit his success in his position. I love him and want to support him. Do I recommend counseling? Some kind of anxiety assessment? What resources should I be leveraging for him?

[Kindra178]

A friend of mine used to be very afraid to fly. His dad worked for a major US airline and told stories and showed videos of a ton of stuff that wasn't released to the public. He saw a psychiatrist who put him on a medication only when he traveled. From what I understand, the medication made him feel great. He was given decreasing dosages until he no longer needed it. He also called his local airport which had classes for people who feared air travel. Those helped too. Good luck.

[Giantbear]

I am a former white knuckler, but 9-11 actually had the opposite effect on me. I would definitely send him to counseling. I would also check with the major airlines for programs or classes for people who are afraid to fly, they have a great success rate.

[mackmama]

Oh your poor DH. I would definitely suggest that he go to a therapist specifically trained in flying phobia - there are many therapy groups available that have a high success rate through systematic desensitization. In the short term, I think he should also see his primary care doctor about getting some as-needed anxiety medication that he can take when he flies. His fear is both understandable and can be dealt with.

[pinkmomagain]

He should see a therapist or ask his PCP for something like Xanax that can be taken when he has to travel.