Kid funnies

[kedss]

"I rewe hate you Mama...can I have your candy?" from my lovely middle child, who will be 4 in June, 13 tomorrow. ;)

[m448]

LOL, gotta keep the priorities straight kwim?

Me: putting on makeup at my little dressing table while the 8 and 6 year old boys look in through the door.

6yo DS: Momma why are you putting on makeup.

pause from me and then before I answer

8yo DS: That's so she doesn't look so old.

Me: ACTUALLY it's because I enjoy putting it on and I feel pretty.



I love how to a kid being a parent crosses the threshold into prehistoric.

[marymoo86]

My 15 month old - saying "hey dog" to the neighbors puppy and then shaking her pointer finger and saying "No, No, No" when she got licked in the face

[mm123]

We were looking at a wedding picture of me and DH that was on the wall.

DD1: Mommy, was I just a baby at your wedding?
me: No, you weren't a baby.
DD1: Then, was I still in your tummy?
me: No, you weren't in my tummy yet.
DD!: So, if I wasn't a baby, and I wasn't in your tummy yet, where was I? (Then she gets this really deep expression on her face, and a furrow in her brow, like she's pondering the meaning of life!!).

[nmosur]

DD loves asking this question - I always answer "In my heart" :-)



We were looking at a wedding picture of me and DH that was on the wall.

DD1: Mommy, was I just a baby at your wedding?
me: No, you weren't a baby.
DD1: Then, was I still in your tummy?
me: No, you weren't in my tummy yet.
DD!: So, if I wasn't a baby, and I wasn't in your tummy yet, where was I? (Then she gets this really deep expression on her face, and a furrow in her brow, like she's pondering the meaning of life!!).

[Sopamanda]

My husband made steaks this week and it must have been some weird cut; they were not good. He cooks since I'm on bed rest and I keep my trap shut.

DS, however, put a piece in his mouth. 2 minutes later announced: "man! I've been chewing on this thing FOREVER!"

I almost peed my pants.

[Uno-Mom]

We had a church thingy last week. At one point, we went around the table introducing ourselves.

Sprog refused to share her name so I asked her to introduce me instead. She told everyone: "She George Washington!"

I do not know why. No idea. It's not like we've been memorizing presidents with our two-year-old!

[iaam]

DD loves asking this question - I always answer "In my heart" :-)

I love that. Now I hope I get asked that question soon:)

[LMPC]

You guys are cracking me up!

While on our way home today, I had this amusing conversation...
DD: Mommy, I have 3 questions for you!
Me: Alright, go ahead...
DD: The first one is about why we can't go live at Great Wolf Lodge!
Me: Okay, what are the others?
DD: The others are about why can't we have a dog and WHY WILL YOU NOT GIVE ME A REAL BABY THAT POOPS IN HIS DIAPER?!?!

I kid you not....my lip is so sore from biting it to keep from laughing! She was so sincere with all of them, but especially the last one. She wants a baby so badly!

[noodle]

We had a church thingy last week. At one point, we went around the table introducing ourselves.

Sprog refused to share her name so I asked her to introduce me instead. She told everyone: "She George Washington!"

I do not know why. No idea. It's not like we've been memorizing presidents with our two-year-old!

Omg...this kills me. Seriously. I cannot remember laughing so hard.

[lmintzer]

Two by my 8-year-old:

Joshua, explaining how he's trying to paraphrase his sources for his first research project: "Like I changed 'produce' to 'make'...I changed it because 'produce' sounds kind of farmish, and I'm talking about tsunamis."

Joshua upon examining his tongue after eating a Bomb Pop: "Are the little bumps atoms and molecules?"

[edurnemk]

DS (just turned 4) today after I said he couldn't have another cookie:

"I'm angry! I don't want to be with you so I'm going to my room!"

Another one that cracks me up lately, is that for some reason DS believes that DH and I got married just to have him (we'd been married 3 years when I got PG with him, who knows where he gets these ideas), so the other day he said DH and I need to get married again because we're having another baby. I explained we only need to get married once but he insists we need one wedding for each baby we have. :ROTFLMAO: