babies who cry in the car

[ezcc]

DS2 is 6 weeks, and really a delightful baby- takes long naps, is fairly good at night- easy to soothe etc. BUT, he detests being in the car. I have to drive my older 2 back and forth to school which is a 30 min or so roundtrip and he howls, I mean howls the whole way- purple in the face with rage. My mom and dh have been pitching in and doing a lot of the driving, but they can't do it all. It's so stressful to me, and to my other children to be in the car with him! My other 2 both loved the car, and usually fell asleep. If your baby was like this did it get better? When? He hates the swing too which my others loved, loved loved.

[Cuckoomamma]

Both of mine hated the car...detested it. My older 10.5 yo has motion sickness whenever she's in the car, but my younger doesn't and still hated it. It was easier with the younger because my older dd could play with her and distract her. By a year we could do the 30 minutes, but it wasn't a stress-free situation. For the older, it took years.

By a year, we were giving my younger a water bottle to play with in the car (she loved watching the water slosh) and lots of snacks.

Hang in there! It takes awhile but it'll pass.

[mommytoC]

My DD#2 hated the car, too...she'd last 5-10 minutes, tops, from birth until around 6 months. You have my sympathy, since during that time, 30 minute trips were absolute he**. After 6 months, she slowly improved, and by 15 months, travelled as well as DD#1. She moved from her Snugride 22 to a Marathon at 8 months, and remained rear-facing past 2 years, so it wasn't carseat-related at all.

[HIU8]

My DD tolerated the car of 1 hour or less. After that all bets were off. Can you move your DS into a convertible (and out of the infant seat)? Sometimes that helps.

[MamaMolly]

It took Dolly a new car seat, and I know she was less than 6 weeks. Her riding in the Graco bucket just about killed us both with the screaming. But when we moved her to the TrueFit she was a much happier camper. Not perfect, but the insane screaming until she lost her voice was reduced greatly. I'm so sorry you are going through this, too. It is mind blowingly stressful.

[marymoo86]

DD hated the infant seat but somewhat improved with the addition of a couple of toys and a mirror to catch her attention. I connected a Freddie Firefly with brightstarts links but that only bought us maybe 15-20 minutes.

Music seemed to help a bit.

Graduating to the convertible helped a lot.

[Giantbear]

does he cry if you put him in the car seat outside of the car? maybe put him in his car seat in the living room so he can get used to it. Do you have mirrors up so you can see him and he can see you when in the car? This is big with dd.

[brittone2]

I had three car haters. DS2 was the best of the bunch. DS1 was horrible if we were driving more than 10 mins. He didn't cry himself to sleep, he just kept wailing. DD would work herself up to throwing up and would have beads of sweat rolling down her back from crying so hard (and no she wasn't overdressed or overheated). I remember having to pull over on the way to my parents' house which was 15 mins away. We made it less than 10 mins on the way there before she was so worked up she threw up. I'd take her out, nurse her, get her calmed down, put her back in and it would start all over again :( I think I still have PTSD from driving with my two oldest kids.

It got better for us, but we had some rocky months for the first 6 months for sure.

Hang in there!

DS2 seemed to enjoy being comforted by his siblings being nearby.

[luckytwenty]

I had the same situation with my youngest. A few things helped--switching him from the Graco to the Britax Roundabout once he was a little bigger--and getting a mirror with lights and music to look at while rear-facing. But it kind of just sucked until he was about 7 months. He's 15 months and still isn't a fan. But otherwise, he's a happy baby...I guess this is just his version of how I feel about Mondays!

[okinawama]

I am two for two with the carseat haters. DS2 in particular hates the carseat with the fire of a thousand suns. At 10 months even us heading in the direction of the car causes crying. I thought for sure it would be better by now, but for the most part, he still screams for most trips. I try and hedge my bets and make sure he is rested, fed and in a clean diaper and sometimes he'll last 10 minutes or so, but I can guarantee that on our way back home, he'll scream the entire time. We live in a pretty small town, and most outing take a short amount of time, so I can only imagine that you must be close to loosing your mind. Moving him out of the bucket seat helped, but didn't fix the problem entirely. I hope that things improve soon!

[BabyBearsMom]

DD hated the car as an infant. We switched her to a convertible seat a 4 or 5 months and that helped. SHe still isnt a great car rider. Not bad, but not fantastic. I really long for one of those kids who falls asleep in the car.

[hellokitty]

My younger two HATED the car, just hated it and they would just cry and cry. DS2 was the worse, he cried 1.5 hrs straight each way on time, it didn't matter that I would stop to soothe and nurse him, as soon as I stopped, he would cry again. It was torture. I even tried moving them to a convertible seat RR sooner than planned, but that didn't help. I know this will get disapproval from BBB'ers, but what ended up, "solving" the issue was switching them to FF. I switched DS2 at 18 mo, b/c I couldn't take it anymore, I switched DS3 at 24 mo, b/c I was just so tired of the crying and we went on a long road trip. Both times, they were MUCH happier FF, I think they just wanted to be able to see me.

[Tondi G]

My DS1 HATED the car seat with a passion. The only thing that helped was switching to forward facing at a year. He's almost 11 so at that time FF at a year was common. DS2 was slightly better but he too didn't care for the car seat. Switching to a convertible helped a little... Having a toy/mirror with lights and music helped a little. Being in the back seat with DS2 helped some ... and when he got a little bigger, having DS1 feed him little snacks helped a little.

Both of my kids first year was rough as far as the car was concerned.... we didn't make too many long car trips.... tried to keep it under 30 minutes. I feel for you. Hope you find something that works to help make your little one happier in the car. Good Luck!

[candaceb]

DS hated the car when he was itty bitty - the worst of it hit around 6 weeks. I was faced with a day when I was going to be in the car alone with him for a 2 hour round trip, and I knew I had to find a solution. I finally figured out that the reason he screamed in the car was because he couldn't sleep if he wasn't swaddled. I put one of the very thin (t-shirt) material velcro swaddling blankets in the car seat - it has a slit for the buckle - swaddled him, and he was mostly OK in the car from then on. I kept him swaddled in the car until we weren't swaddling him at night any more around 3-4 months. I decided that the minimal risk of violating the "nothing between the baby and the car seat" rule was better than the driver being distracted by a screaming baby.

[klwa]

Both of mine hated being in the car when they were about that age, but grew out of it at some point.... I wish I could help more with timing, but I just remember dreading putting them in & then not having to anymore....

[Gena]

DS hated being in the car as a baby/young toddler. He screamed constantly. When he was 8 weeks old we switched him from the infant seat to a convertible and that helped a little. We tried to have someone sit in the back with him as often as possible, because that helped. But a lot of times it was just me and DS in the car and I had to listen to him scream. Pulling over to take a break didn't help; he screamed just as much once we started up again. He rarely fell asleep in the car and would just scream constantly.

The only thing that stopped DS's screaming in the car was when I flipped him forward facing. I had really REALLY wanted to make it to 2 years or 30 lbs rear-facing. (DS is almost 8, and back then most convertibles had a RF limit of 30 lbs.) But at that point DS and I had to make a series of long car trips and after the first one my nerves were shot from listening to him scream non-stop for 5 hours. It got to the point that I was too distracted and upset to be a safe driver. So I turned DS forward at 20 months and 27 lbs. The difference was like night and day. From that point on, DS has been a great little traveller.

He also hated the swing, the rear-facing stroller, and riding in the shopping cart.

After DS was diagnosed with autism (age 3) we learned that he had some severe sensory issues. A big one was that he was unable to tolerate any backward moevement. We worked on this issue for years in occupational therapy. Now DS loves the swing, it's actually one of his favorite things to help him calm down.

I'm not suggesting that your baby has a sensory issue or a developmental disorder. Just offering understanding and sympathy. I know how hard it is when your baby is so miserable in the car and you don't have a lot of options. Hugs. :hug:

[mikala]

Ugh, you guys are scaring me. I too had a car-seat hater and was trying to convince myself that #2 couldn't possibly be that way.

In our case the car-seat hatred seemed to be connected to reflux. There was something about the infant bucket seat position that seemed to set him off and he'd scream until he was purple and sweaty. By the end of even short car trips I was often crying along with him. It was absolutely miserable and we simply couldn't take car trips of any duration. It helped a tiny bit to have someone sitting next to him but not much.

I used to be totally confused when people talked about putting their babies in the carseat and driving around to get them to sleep because that would never in a million years happen for us without a good 30 mins of solid crying first.

Things improved some around 5-6 months and then improved more when we switched to a convertible seat around 9 mo. I think the improvement was part growth, part reflux meds, part improved seat position. I was so happy the day I realized the car had been blissfully silent for a whole car trip. We're still rearfacing at over 2 and he's been normal in the car for at least a year.

[edurnemk]

DS hated the car, he'd scream like crazy even during 10 minute drives. It was so stressful.

It turns out, what he really hated was the infant car seat! Once we switched him to a convertible, still RF, he was much happier! Some babies are like that. At first I though he hated RF, but he was perfectly fine RF in his Blvd. I wish I'd switched him sooner.

[drako]

My DD hated the car too or shall I say the infant bucket style car seat. As soon as we moved her rear facing into a convertable car seat car rides were much different. We did that around 6 or 7 months and I wish I would have done it sooner. Car rides up to that point were very much like yours - just screaming and crying.

[wallawala]

My first was not a traveler at all. We joke that there are exact locations on highways around town where she always would cry. Now she is fine in the carseat, but is garanteed to get sick on a long trip (like more than carsick, actually sick... but the puking in the car part is still the start). She wouldn't sleep in a swing or be soothed by motion in general. She is now a normal but ACTIVE toddler. So I think it's just her personality, which I likely will not appreciate until she's in college. :)

My second loves the car seat. Will be soothed by placing in the carseat and strollering around the house even. Definately stops crying if we're driving in the car- but might start up if we stop (red lights are not my friend!).

[carolinamama]

All my kids had some element of hating the car. DS1 was the worst and DS2 the best. By DD, I had 2 other kids that had places to go. With DS1, we swapped out the bucket for a Roundabout at about 6-8 weeks. That helped slightly. Here is a suggestion that really worked with DD and was great on roadtrips - I put her in a Swaddleme in her seat. Because it is so thin, I felt perfectly comfortable using it as it's thinner then alot of clothing. It has a hole for the crotch strap and I would buckle, then wrap the wings around her. It made a world of difference and allowed her to cry herself to sleep rather than just scream the whole time. I didn't always use it, but it was helpful.

I completely understand the frustration and stress of a screaming baby in the car. It will get better, eventually.

eta - should have read the responses. Just say that the pp beat me to the swaddle idea.

[ezcc]

Thanks for the sympathy! It really is the worst. I will try some of the suggestions, he is starting to smile/react to people so I'm hopeful that his siblings will be able to help, all three are jammed in the back of my Jetta so my 9 yo is right next to him- he tries to give him a pacifier but he won't take it. Maybe some toys to distract might work better. I will also go ahead and order a convertible seat, I will need one anyway so might as well give it a shot and see if it's better. A little discouraging that this lasted a year or more for some people, ugh!!!!!

[TxCat]

Yup, our life also got better once we switched to a convertible seat. She really hated the infant seat, not so much the car ride itself. Some other things - white noise, ie, play static loudly - I adapted this from Happiest Baby on the Block. After 1-2 minutes of white noise, DD usually calmed down a lot and I could turn the static off or turn it down. Not the most pleasant thing to listen to, but much better than her crying. Also, her music/lullaby CDs always seemed to make her stop crying. Good luck!

[queenmama]

Oh Lord, this is terrifying to read!

DS was a car baby from the start, and at almost 12 he'll still fall asleep if we drive more than an hour.

He's in private school 30 minutes away, one way, and I'm already dreading the trip with DD. We're trying to sell our house and move into the school/work neighborhood, but I will have at least one month of dealing with this before school's out for summer.

Thinking of skipping the bucket altogether and putting her in a convertible from birth. I know the car seat board is the place to discuss that, but it sounds like it might be an idea to seriously consider...

Sent from my Android phone using Tapatalk

[goldenpig]

Ugh, you guys are scaring me. I too had a car-seat hater and was trying to convince myself that #2 couldn't possibly be that way.

In our case the car-seat hatred seemed to be connected to reflux. There was something about the infant bucket seat position that seemed to set him off and he'd scream until he was purple and sweaty. By the end of even short car trips I was often crying along with him. It was absolutely miserable and we simply couldn't take car trips of any duration. It helped a tiny bit to have someone sitting next to him but not much.

I used to be totally confused when people talked about putting their babies in the carseat and driving around to get them to sleep because that would never in a million years happen for us without a good 30 mins of solid crying first.

Things improved some around 5-6 months and then improved more when we switched to a convertible seat around 9 mo. I think the improvement was part growth, part reflux meds, part improved seat position. I was so happy the day I realized the car had been blissfully silent for a whole car trip. We're still rearfacing at over 2 and he's been normal in the car for at least a year.

:yeahthat:

Hmm, I was going to write a long post but it's pretty much verbatim the above! Both my kids were car seat screamers and both had silent reflux. It was so bad I hated driving anywhere with them during that stage because it was so stressful to hear them cry/scream. We used music and an Infantino car seat toy bar which helped a little, and they were both on meds for reflux which also helped. They both started improving around 10 months or so when we moved them to convertibles and no problems after 1 year. I kept them rear facing (DD till age 4.5 and DS is still rear-facing at nearly 2).

[doberbrat]

count us in for the 'terrible in the car club'. dd2 wasnt horrible when the car was moving... but G-d forbid we stoped..... red light, stop sign and I lived in abject fear over being in traffic. I almost got out and walked on the highway when we were driving to NYC and got stuck in a massive traffic jam.

White noise/ static on the radio helped, tucking a blanket TIGHTLY around her arms and being in the convertible all helped a bit. Once she was able to hold things, I'd give her those noisy toys I cant stand in the house to play with to distract her. I know they're projectiles but to me the risk/benefit ratio was worth it.

Still.... I havent gotten over the trauma. We used to drive to NC several times a year w/dd1. Started when she was 5w old. With dd2, we've been ONCE in 2 years.

[Melbel]

I have not read all of the replies, but wanted to share our experience with DD2. She was a reflux baby and the curve of the infant car carrier carseat (Chicco Keyfit) aggravated her pain causing her to scream to high heaven. It really helped when we moved her to the Britax Marathon, which has a more even incline. We also strapped a portable DVD player on the headrest and let her watch Baby Einstein videos in the car (so much for no TV under 2; desperate times call for desperate measures).

[Pear]

DD hated the seat as well. There were times we were minutes from home and I had to pull over because I just couldn't get any further because the screams were so bad.

Ditching the infant bucket made a huge difference. She still hated the car and there were times it took me 45 minutes to force her into the seat, but that was still an improvement. I also discovered that I had to feed her before any drive. So if we had a 5 minute errand it actually went nurse, drive to location, perform errand, nurse, drive home. Even if the drive was 10 minutes we had to do this whole routine.

[pastrygirl]

Both of mine hated it. My older son got better when I moved him to a (RF) convertible at 4 months old. I tried it at 3 months with my younger son, but he still screamed. I think it got better at around 6 or 9 months, when he became a car napper. Ahhhh... the sound of silence!!

[Ms B]

Have you tried playing some music in the car? DS always has loved Adele (seriously, since he was less than a week old her first album has soothed him) and when he screamed in the car for the first couple months, putting Adele on the stereo worked every time. (It also worked for us at bedtime.)

Of course, six months in, DH and I are kind of sick of that album now. Happily DS has expanded his musical taste (late period Eagles, the "Warblers" album from the Glee series, Bonnie Raitt, Brad Paisley and Toby Keith, but not Allison Kraus or The Band Perry) . . .

[Pinky]

DD was also one of those babies that hated (still dislikes) her carseat... she would scream, cry w/ tears, make herself sick, the whole 9 yards! I tried everything and didn't really find anything that worked. Everybody told me to just ignore it but there is a certain level of crying that you just can't ignore. It made going anywhere a real nightmare for us!

Fortunately as she got older (she's almost 2) she got a little bit easier to distract by singing, honking the horn, turning on the rear windshield washer... haha, I've tried every trick in the book! I think once your baby is older, having the siblings in the backseat will fix everything. When my DD has someone ride back there with her she is still not happy, but she's at least mostly manageable with constant distraction.

Good luck! Seems as though lots of us have been in your shoes and it's rough!