Is it bad to be the eldest one in the class?

[moonsky]

I heard that you don't really learn things from younger kids but it would help building up your confidence, and leadership skills. I am talking about the preschool here for the coming fall. I am trying to decide whether DC should be in the 3-4 yrs old class(2 days per week) or the 4-5 yrs old(4 days a week) one. DC will be the eldest one in the 3-4 yrs old class but youngest in the 4-5 yrs old one.

The 3-4 yrs old focuses more on the social development while the 4-5 yrs old will aim more on prep the kids to be ready for kindergarten(academic). DC will still make the cut and will be in the kindergarten next year. Any thoughts? TIA!

[lalasmama]

At work (a medical school residency program), our general philosophy is:

Learn it, do it, teach it.

You learn how to do something.

You do it yourself.

You then teach someone else how to do it.

I fully believe this works well with kids as well. As an older child in class, she will be in a position of helping "teach" the younger ones, without even realizing it. Last year, as a younger one, your child learned from other kids about the roles and rules in school: that everyone gets their own carpet square, that you don't get to paint over Sally's artwork, that you can't push Mikey out of the way when you want to swing. Now, she can teach those things to the new younger kids.

DD goes to a nanny-share over summers. She had so much fun "teaching" her kindergarten-to-be friend things about sight words and school rules. And she was able to practice and have a stronger hold of things she needed (like lots of reading practice while showing the other child sight words!).

You might want to look into what her eventual kindergarten will expect as far as knowledge for incoming kids. At both of DD's kindergarten classes (we switched school districts in K), they worked on letter sounds and basic sight words. DD was often ahead of the game, and annoyed/frustrated that the other kids needed to learn letter sounds when she was ready to start reading. In fact, the only thing DD's kinder classmates were expected to be able to do is write their own first name. In other words, personally, it would have been a waste for us to put DD into an academic pre-k when looking at what our school's K program entailed. However, in our case, DD DEFINITELY needed the social aspects of preschool/pre-k, and being an older kid would have allowed her to model to younger kids, which is something she feels very important getting to do!

[sariana]

If you're planning to send DC to kindergarten the following year, I would go with the older class, i.e. being the youngest in the 4-5.

I personally prefer to have my children with older children in general, though.

[klwa]

If DC will be in kindergarten the next year, I'd go with the 4-5 class.

That said, DS was moved into the 4yo room at daycare right after he turned 4, making him the youngest in the class. And he was babied by the bigger kids to the point that I think it hurt him. But, the next year, he was one of the oldest kids in the same class. (He didn't make the cut for kindy due to age.)

[SnuggleBuggles]

I'd do the 3-4. The purpose of preschool, IMO, is not academic but social.

eta- my ds2 will be right about the oldest next year and I don't know how it will play out. If I had a choice, he would be right in the middle but his b-day and cut offs just don't make that happen. Either extreme isn't ideal, imo.

[egoldber]

I don't think there is an easy answer to that. While some kids may benefit from being the oldest, there are kids who benefit from being younger among older kids.

As to which class is a better fit, IMO I think I would base my decision more on the teacher vs. the age range. And since your DD is going to K the following year, exposure to some academic skills (letter identification, letter formation, etc.) is not a bad thing for her as long as it is done in a fun way.

[o_mom]

I don't think there is an easy answer to that. While some kids may benefit from being the oldest, there are kids who benefit from being younger among older kids.

As to which class is a better fit, IMO I think I would base my decision more on the teacher vs. the age range. And since your DD is going to K the following year, exposure to some academic skills (letter identification, letter formation, etc.) is not a bad thing for her as long as it is done in a fun way.

:yeahthat:

DS1 does not benefit from being one of the oldest (he just misses the cut off so tends to be older than a grade-level group). He does much better in situations where he is one of the younger ones. In a group where he is the oldest, he does not 'lead' and will many time follow along with the less mature behaviors. On top of that he will many times get a pass on it as well (not from me, but teachers, etc.) because even though he is oldest, he is small and doesn't look it. When he is with older kids, he rises up to their level. This year he is in a class with older kids and it is so much better for him.

The other part of this is that many times kids who are more mature (regardless of true age) can become somewhat 'bossy' to less mature kids in that age set. Sometimes parents/teachers mistake this as 'leading' or 'teaching' and think it is a benefit, but many times it is not.

[wellyes]

I don't think there is a wrong answer. I'd base my decision on whether it's better for her to be gone 2 days or 4 days...... better for her (what fits her needs socially), better for you (she'll be in school a lot from now on, consider savoring time at home now).

DD is 3 and would be happy to do preschool every day vs 3 days a week.
I like having her home so we can do outings together.
Again, not a wrong answer, just what works for your family.

[lowrioh]

We are in the middle of making the same decision. Right now DD1 is in a class for "older 2's and 3's" but she is the eldest in the class. Next year she can move up to the next classroom with her current classmates (3's and 4's) or be placed in the older class where she would be one of the youngest. The older kid class is only for children who will be entering K.

We are leaning heavily towards putting her the older kids class. It is a co-op school and when I see her in her current classroom she is much better at focusing and following instruction than the younger children, even though they are only a few months younger. She is also a really tall kid and towers over the rest of them. We have a parent teacher conference this evening and will make our decision based on the school director's recommendation. (the main issue holding us back is that DH and another parent loathe each other and he feels like her DS antagonizes DD). Honestly DD would probably do great in either classroom....we are probably just over-thinking it.

[Green_Tea]

If she's going to be in K the following fall, I'd put her with the older kids.

[MoJo]

I'm with Wellyes on this. . . I'd make my decision on the 2 days vs 4 rather than the ages.

In my case, JellyBean is one of the youngest (we were told she was the youngest, but there are two others who are a few weeks younger. . . not enough to make a difference.) And the school considered holding her in the 3s and 4s instead of going to the 4s and 5s for next school year. But she's actually old enough for the pre-K class (we're just not choosing that because it's 5 days per week, and I'm enjoying keeping her with me two days a week one more year before she starts K.) She will be starting K the following year. I just decided I needed to accept that she will always be one of the youngest. I didn't want her to be bored repeating the same class, and, in our situation. . . she gets more than enough time teaching younger ones with her younger sister.

I was one of the older kids in my class. . . but always had/wanted to have friends a year or two older than me. And in the early grades, that was hard.

I wouldn't say there's anything wrong with being the oldest, which is why I said I'd base it on the schedule first, and my second consideration would be the teacher, and then third the ages.