ilfaith
02-24-2012, 08:57 PM
We just returned from a vacation in Miami...and now my husband wants to move there.
Seriously.
It is not as spur-of-the-moment as it sounds. When we first moved to Florida 10 years ago we thought we would settle in the southern part of the state. We stayed with friends and family in Boca Raton and Boynton Beach before renting a place in West Palm Beach for a year. Then DH's job required him to be in Jacksonville full time, so me bought a house here. That was nine years and a few jobs ago.
Now my husband works for a company based in Silicon Valley and we can live anywhere. As far as he is concerned, we have no ties to Jacksonville, so why stay.
But I feel differently. I feel as though we have made a home here...and it did take me years for this city to feel like home. I feel like I have friends here (as do my kids) and I am very involved in the boys' school (serving on various committees and on the PTA) and in our synagogue. Although I don't know that I'd consider my friends here among my closest, but I've got a group I play tennis with, a book club, people I can meet for a cup of coffee, and even a shoulder or two to cry on.
DH, on the other hand, hasn't kept ties with most of his former colleagues here. He hasn't worked in Jacksonville in several years, instead he's worked remotely and traveled for business a great deal. He's never bothered to get involved with the community.
So now he wants me to pick up and move again to another city where we know virtually nobody. And I really don't want to go. I'm not sure Miami is a place I want to raise a family (he has his heart set on either Miami Beach or Coral Gables...he really wants an older...1920s or 30s home). He seems to think the public schools there are superior to those here (he says he doesn't want to continue spending money on private schools as he is now...of course I really love their school, and the boys are doing well). I'm not so sure about that. I really don't like the hot weather, already miss the change of seasons (at least we get some cool "winter" days in north Florida) and hate the thought of never putting on a sweater or my beloved boots again.
DH has already spoken with a realtor about selling our house here. He's even rented a storage locker to start clearing our home of clutter so we can put it on the market. DH has talked about relocating before, and I've always thought that I'll believe we're moving when I see the Mayflower truck pull up in our driveway. But this time he seems serious about it. I feel like he doesn't appreciate the fact that I've created a life here that I don't want to leave behind. I always thought if we did move, it would be back to the New York/New Jersey area, to be closer to family, not to some other random city. DH says he doesn't want to live anywhere cold or with state income tax (he's been spoiled by Florida).
We are actually going down to Miami again next week for DH's cousin's daughter's bat mitzvah. DH is hoping to look at some homes while we are down there.
I'm not sure if I am looking for support, validation of my feelings, or maybe somebody to tell me that Miami is a wonderful place to raise a family and I should get excited to come down (or conversely, someone to give me the ammunition to convince DH that Miami is NOT a place to bring up kids...I've already tried to get DH to watch CSI Miami).
Sorry to vent. DH just seems so excited about the prospect of this move, and I am so conflicted.
Seriously.
It is not as spur-of-the-moment as it sounds. When we first moved to Florida 10 years ago we thought we would settle in the southern part of the state. We stayed with friends and family in Boca Raton and Boynton Beach before renting a place in West Palm Beach for a year. Then DH's job required him to be in Jacksonville full time, so me bought a house here. That was nine years and a few jobs ago.
Now my husband works for a company based in Silicon Valley and we can live anywhere. As far as he is concerned, we have no ties to Jacksonville, so why stay.
But I feel differently. I feel as though we have made a home here...and it did take me years for this city to feel like home. I feel like I have friends here (as do my kids) and I am very involved in the boys' school (serving on various committees and on the PTA) and in our synagogue. Although I don't know that I'd consider my friends here among my closest, but I've got a group I play tennis with, a book club, people I can meet for a cup of coffee, and even a shoulder or two to cry on.
DH, on the other hand, hasn't kept ties with most of his former colleagues here. He hasn't worked in Jacksonville in several years, instead he's worked remotely and traveled for business a great deal. He's never bothered to get involved with the community.
So now he wants me to pick up and move again to another city where we know virtually nobody. And I really don't want to go. I'm not sure Miami is a place I want to raise a family (he has his heart set on either Miami Beach or Coral Gables...he really wants an older...1920s or 30s home). He seems to think the public schools there are superior to those here (he says he doesn't want to continue spending money on private schools as he is now...of course I really love their school, and the boys are doing well). I'm not so sure about that. I really don't like the hot weather, already miss the change of seasons (at least we get some cool "winter" days in north Florida) and hate the thought of never putting on a sweater or my beloved boots again.
DH has already spoken with a realtor about selling our house here. He's even rented a storage locker to start clearing our home of clutter so we can put it on the market. DH has talked about relocating before, and I've always thought that I'll believe we're moving when I see the Mayflower truck pull up in our driveway. But this time he seems serious about it. I feel like he doesn't appreciate the fact that I've created a life here that I don't want to leave behind. I always thought if we did move, it would be back to the New York/New Jersey area, to be closer to family, not to some other random city. DH says he doesn't want to live anywhere cold or with state income tax (he's been spoiled by Florida).
We are actually going down to Miami again next week for DH's cousin's daughter's bat mitzvah. DH is hoping to look at some homes while we are down there.
I'm not sure if I am looking for support, validation of my feelings, or maybe somebody to tell me that Miami is a wonderful place to raise a family and I should get excited to come down (or conversely, someone to give me the ammunition to convince DH that Miami is NOT a place to bring up kids...I've already tried to get DH to watch CSI Miami).
Sorry to vent. DH just seems so excited about the prospect of this move, and I am so conflicted.