WWYD awkward work situation

[wolverine2]

I'm interviewing for a job next week- same organization, slightly different position- it's a lateral move. I just got a weird e-mail from a woman who works in a different building from me, but covered me during my maternity leave, and also covered a woman in the location where the job opening is. The e-mail said she wanted my insight and advice, and wanted me to call. I was on an interview committee for a position she applied for and didn't get a couple years ago, and she bugged me for a while about why, and my guess is that she is also applying for the opening that I am interviewing for, and wants my advice about what went wrong the last time.

She would never get this job- it's a personality issue (she escalates everything), and I can't really tell her that about her last interview. She doesn't know I'm applying for this job. I don't really want to talk to her about it, but I can't just ignore her either. What should I do?

[kara97210]

Why can't you ignore the message? That would have been my advice. Or at least put off any direct conversation until after your interview process is concluded.

If you have to respond, I would avoid any sort of conversation until after you have interviewed and the position is filled. I think it could get really sticky if you are interviewing for the same position.

[sntm]

Or just email and say you are really busy until (after the interview) but you'll try to talk to her after that.

[wolverine2]

She asked specifically to talk next week. I'm sure she'll try to call me if I ignore her (though I can ignore that too unless she shows up in my office). My interview is next week but I know there are more the week after, and I'm pretty sure that's when hers is (because she wanted to talk to me before then), so I'd have to ignore her for a week and a half after a very specific request.

[smiles33]

I feel like you have to be prepared with something to say if she does find you. It may be too difficult to avoid/ignore her for a week and a half without explanation. Are you comfortable saying that you are swamped with work and can't meet her until maybe mid-March (presumably after the interviews conclude)? Would she know what your projects are? I assume you don't want her to know you are interviewing.

[Uno-Mom]

First, have a great interview!

Second, it would depend on your work culture. I've been in almost that exact situation. I've worked for a social service agency for over ten years and held several different positions, most moves were promotions but a couple lateral based on my interest/skills.

For me, I have just had the conversation up-front. Our culture is personal and usually supportive but there is a huge gossip network. Avoiding the conversation just wouldn't work for me and would cause some serious ill-will once they found out the truth. So, I just pretended I didn't foresee the conversation topic until they flat-out told me they were applying for the job, then I said "Oh wow - did you know I'm interviewing for that, too?" After that, they either didn't push it or the conversation became mutual commiserations "good luck to you" "yeah, you too" stuff.

When I made the move from management into the specialist position I now hold, I actually interviewed against one of the people I was currently supervising. Talk about...awkward. AND I'd given them not-so-steller performance reviews.

[wellyes]

Don't work so hard. This is business. Agree to talk, and when she says what it's about, reply ”oh, I am applying for that as well, so I'm not comfortable coaching you on this topic . Best of luck. " Or even "sure, I will set up a meeting, I have time in late April."

[hillview]

This is business. Agree to talk, and when she says what it's about, reply ”oh, I am applying for that as well, so I'm not comfortable coaching you on this topic . Best of luck. " Or even "sure, I will set up a meeting, I have time in late April."
:yeahthat:

I'd talk to her and I might even offer advice but if that is not comfortable just say you can't advise as it would be a conflict of interest. Wish her the best.

[wolverine2]

I would rather she didn't know I was interviewing, as I have hardly told anyone (because of the gossip network and because I'm also happy where I am). But I can't see talking to her without telling her if she truly is interviewing for that position. I think it may make her upset, because I probably have a much better chance at getting it than her, and she'll know that. What if I e-mailed her back and asked more about what she wants to talk about?

I wish I could just avoid her for a week and a half, but that's not very realistic- it's really not that busy at work! :)

Thanks for the mojo! It's a little scary stepping out to try something new at this point!

[wellyes]

I think it may make her upset, because I probably have a much better chance at getting it than her, and she'll know that.

Not to be a b*tch but - so what?

If you want to keep your application private, that's certainly OK. "Cindy, now is not a good time. I will get in touch in a week or two." If she persists after that, it is absolutely fine to respond with an irritated "I told you I'd be in touch when it works for me."

[karstmama]

ok, how about this? send a short email saying you're on a project or whatever & can't meet. ask her specifically what she'd like feedback on. then compose an email that answers her questions in a general, reasonable way - maybe not as completely as you'd have done if she'd asked right after the last blown interview, but truthfully. it would be kind and helpful but not likely to be *so* helpful to shoot yourself in the foot.

[hillview]

Not to be a b*tch but - so what?

If you want to keep your application private, that's certainly OK. "Cindy, now is not a good time. I will get in touch in a week or two." If she persists after that, it is absolutely fine to respond with an irritated "I told you I'd be in touch when it works for me."
:yeahthat: 100%

[123LuckyMom]

I agree with wellyes. I understand you'd rather she not know you're interviewing, but when you get the job (and I hope you do!), she'll know. It's really best in these situations to be upfront, honest, and to be clear about your boundaries. Her feelings may be hurt if you are clear with her, but she will figure out how to cope with that. You probably wouldn't feel comfortable giving her the "true" answer about why things keep going south for her anyway, so she's never going to feel satisfied with any answer you give her. Rather than perpetuate the dissatisfaction, hers and yours, it's better to extricate yourself from the situation entirely.

[wolverine2]

I agree with wellyes. I understand you'd rather she not know you're interviewing, but when you get the job (and I hope you do!), she'll know. It's really best in these situations to be upfront, honest, and to be clear about your boundaries. Her feelings may be hurt if you are clear with her, but she will figure out how to cope with that. You probably wouldn't feel comfortable giving her the "true" answer about why things keep going south for her anyway, so she's never going to feel satisfied with any answer you give her. Rather than perpetuate the dissatisfaction, hers and yours, it's better to extricate yourself from the situation entirely.

Yes, I want to extricate myself entirely! I'm not worried so much about her feelings- I just would rather not have her know I'm interviewing because she'll probably tell other people and I was keeping it pretty private in case I don't get it. She did bug me a lot after the last interview and I tried to give her general pointers, but it's true, I'd never give her the true answer. I think the question is just how to best extricate myself. I'd rather do it through e-mail than in person or on the phone because she'll let it go easier.

[JustMe]

As others have said, if you can put her off until the job interview is over, I'd do it. If not and she wants is advice about why she did not get the last job, or asks you for pointers about how she can improve her interviewing, I would just say that she was not picked for the job last time because the interviewing commmittee felt another candidate was the best person for the job. If she presses you for more, I would not give in and just say that you were sorry that's all you can tell her. You can say its all you remember, that there really is nothing else to say, that you feel you have told her all its appropriate to tell professionally, etc.

Good luck with the job!