Would you do this or am I off base?

[DietCokeLover]

I have written multiple times about my two picky eaters. I go through phases of wanting to pull my hair out and just relaxing about it.

My DD would eat chicken nuggets every meal if given the opportunity. I'm not crazy about this. So, last night, I made grilled chicken. I cut dc's chicken into small bites, gave them some ranch to dip it in and explained that this was just like a nugget, but better.

DD would not taste it, which is not new. After several attempts (she wouldn't eat anything I made), I said "I wish you would at least try it. But, I am thinking that maybe if you are unwilling to at least try new things, I may be unwilling to buy any more chicken nuggets.". I didn't say it angry, and left it open ended in case I decide this was not wise.

What do you think? I'm just truly struggling since my dc eat about a combined total of 10 foods. It's extremely frustrating and limiting.

[SnuggleBuggles]

That was a pretty clever reply. I could and would at least try it and see what happens (no more nuggets). I'm no expert though :)

[nfowife]

I don't think it was overly harsh IMO. But my kids are not overly picky. DS is my pickiest and he will generally try most things, even if he doesn't always eat much of them.

How is your kid's weight? I wonder if it was okay and there are not concerns about them eating you could start some sort of Ellyn Satter bootcamp for bit. Just make some basic good meals, follow her guidelines, and don't cater to them specifically, and see if it helps them.

[wellyes]

It is dangerous to make food a power struggle, but at the same time, you really can't keep encouraging the pickiness by buying the same thing over and over (I say this a the parent of someone with a painfully limited diet- ).

I think I'd stop buying nuggets, but not tie it to his willingness or unwillingness to take a bite of something else.

[edurnemk]

I don't think it was wrong to say that. But I'm strict about food with DS, I avoid power struggles, but I don't make special meals for him. He gets to eat what we're all having, I don't force him (we do have a rule that you have to try at least one bite of everything before saying you don't like/want it and many times he's actually said "I do like it!" after trying one bite). He knows he can either eat what's served or wait until the next snack or meal (I got this from the " Positive Discipline" books).

I was a picky eater, my mom said our Ped told her to stop stressing about it, that her job was to make a healthy meal, period, and that no kid would ever actually starve herself, so to just make the food, not pressure me, and eventually I would try it since I had no other options and of course I wouldn't go hungry. I was always a skinny kid, but within the curve and had no issues.

So with that background I would stop buying chicken nuggets, too.

[DietCokeLover]

It is dangerous to make food a power struggle, but at the same time, you really can't keep encouraging the pickiness by buying the same thing over and over.

Ugh, I know and this is so hard sometimes. The line between encouraging and pushing is so unbelievably close.... And I think different for each child. Which presents another challenge when you have 2 picky ones who play off one another.

Both of my DC have no weight or growth issues given their limited diet. My concerns lie mostly with nutritional deficits as they eat no vegs and one fruit each.

I read some of Satter's stuff a couple of years ago, maybe I need to get it again and try with more consistency.

Keep your thoughts and ideas coming. I am so receptive to suggestions, I am a sponge!

[jjjo1112]

I have picky eaters and make one meal- they either eat it or they don't. We don't coax or persuade or beg them to eat. If they choose not to eat then they are only allowed fresh fruit/fresh veggies until the next meal. They also do not get any refills on milk/juice if they are not eating- they are always able to have water.

[lhafer]

Awesome reply! I too have the world's pickiest eater. She would eat mac n cheese everyday if she could. She's 6. She is about 42" tall, but still about 36-37 pounds. She really hasn't gained any weight in 2 years, but she is getting taller. She can wear her 2 year old sister's clothes, and they only look a little small.

We have 1 rule - you have to try the food one time. YOu can't say you don't like it until you try 1 bite. Usually she says she doesn't like it. Fine. There is an article on picky eaters in the new Parents magazine...I haven't had a chance to read it yet.

I try not to have power struggles with DD1 about food. If we are having something I absolutely know she will detest and not eat, I will make her a small something else. This is not a common thing though.

[AnnieW625]

That is what I would have done. DD1 has some food issues too and as convenient as nuggets are I do not buy the large bag at Costco anymore unless we have a party, but now I just buy them occasionally at the store as a treat.

[gatorsmom]

I think it's worth a try. I have two very VERY picky eaters and they make meals very difficult. I've tried only making one meal and you either eat it or you don't but then I end up with hungry, ornery, clingy kids until they eat something. Or they help themselves to snacks for 3 or 4 hour (until the next mealtime).

So, for the past couple of years my motto has been I will make the healthiest version of whatever they will eat. But I also use every trick in the book. I sometimes wait an extra half hour or 45 minutes before I have dinner ready. They are usually really hungry by then and I set out a plate of vegetables on the table with some dip to snack on. Or I'll put out another healthy dish and tell them their other food just isn't ready yet and if they are hungry they should try this while they are waiting. I've found that if I tell them I'm making their chicken nuggets and they will get to eat them but they just aren't ready yet, they relax and sometimes try other thing. I guess they are more open to it because there isn't a control issue. I've found they are actually recetive to eating other foods as long as their favorites are there for them too.

Recently I've been telling them they can't have dessert unless they try one bite of something I've made. My difficult eaters then see my other kids with a yummy dessert and reLize they have a dilemma. All I ask is one bite and then I lay off. If they take a bite they get dessert. My goal is simply that they try it. Sometimes they will be surprised and actually take a couple more bites. I consider that a success.

[KpbS]

I think what you said was totally fine--esp since you said it calmly :).

I am pretty strict about foods as my DC have a really limited diet due to food allergies. For example, DS1 has tried some new fruits in the last year. He isn't allergic to them but doesn't care for them much. DS2 however loves clementines, peaches, and pineapple so I have recently told DS1 that we are having them (ie he will be served them and expected to eat them) once a week. To my great surprise this week, he said that the pineapple and peaches weren't that bad! I tried to be very encouraging and suggested that I would LOVE to send one of these I his lunch next year, and while he balked at that, the seed has at least been planted.

Another thought is that kids love to try foods in "new" contexts like nibbling off the counter as they are helping prepare a meal or food presented in a novel way.
Also since they are playing off one another, can you introduce 1 DC to a new food separately eg if you went out on a date night with one DC and your DH had some special time with the other? Or if one is at school or on a playdate and the other is home alone it might be a good opportunity to encourage trying some new things.

Sending huge, huge hugs I know it's maddening. :hug:

[DietCokeLover]

Thanks for all your comments and suggestions. I think I am going to refrain from buying them for a while, but allow her to get them in a restaurant if we are out. We'll see how it goes!

[Melaine]

I think it's reasonable....hope you have good results!

[maestramommy]

I think your reply was pretty clever too. And ftr, I'm a very mean mommy when it comes to food, so no, I don't think that was harsh.

[baileygirl]

I would do this with ds1, but not ds2 (we have a hard time keeping him on the curve). With ds1 I have found if I am giving him a new food, if I give him a small amount and cut in small pieces he is a lot more willing to try it/eat it without fuss.

[HIU8]

I think what you did was reasonable. I've done it several times before with my DS. He is an extremely picky eater (with some food texture aversions). I would like to make just one meal, and I do to some extent but I alter it a bit for DS. DS will not eat anything with a sause, so his food is plain (but if we are having chicken, so is he). I have, in the past, stopped buying things at the store and ended up making them myself (eg: meatballs, chicken nuggets, pasta sauces). I simply told DS that he can have his meatballs but they are made by mommy and didn't come out of a box. He struggled with this but became ok with it. He still will ask if the store got his fav foods in. I just reply no, but I'm making my version for you now.

[carolinamama]

I don't see a problem at all in not buying chicken nuggets anymore. That way, you take the power struggle out of it. You can honestly say "we don't have any" and offer other foods. I have definitely stopped buying things that become a power struggle although my kids are not quite as picky, they have a massive sweet tooth. Easier to just not have the junk in the house all the time instead of fighting with them on the issue.

[karstmama]

something i read once in a trashy novel ('til we meet again', i think) is that in france, you get a wish every time you try something new to you. i have no idea if that's true (edurne? anyone?), but it doesn't matter. tell your kiddos that & see if that sort of positive nudge has any effect.

gosh knows we have issues (not potty trained at 5), but the boy *eats* & i'm grateful.