Feeling like persona non grata at T-Ball

[ilfaith]

This year, for the first time, both of my older boys are playing T-ball. They are playing on the same team, as DS1 just made the upper age limit. This makes life easier for me, since I don't have to coordinate getting the kids to two different games.

The problem is that we just got the schedule for the season and opening day is next weekend. We are scheduled to play a double header (there are five teams in the league and our coach agreed to play two games that day so every team could play opening day). Unfortunately, we have plans (made over a month ago) to be out of town for a family function. But our absence means the team is down two players, and since each team only has nine on the roster, we will be forced to forfeit both games.

We are the only new family on the team. Everyone else has been together for the past four seasons (spring and fall baseball). Last season the tam went undefeated. Needless to say, people are not happy about having to forfeit the first two games of the season.

Even if we had gotten the schedule earlier than a week and a half before the start of the season, we probably wouldn't have missed DH's cousin's daughter's bat mitzvah. But I feel bad about forcing the team's potentially perfect season to be ruined on the first day. As I mentioned, all the other kids have played together for two years, and while the coaches have been very patient with my inexperienced boys, honestly, the moms haven't been all that welcoming to me. Now with us missing the opening of the season, I really feel like persona non grata.

Obviously, there is nothing we can do to change our plans. We don't want to miss DH's cousin's bat mitzvah, and we already have non-refundable hotel reservations. But I hate feeling like the entire team is going to end up resenting us.

[cheri]

I'm so sorry. That totally sucks. I don't have any advice, but wanted to give you a :group hug:.

Oh poop. I'm such a dork that I can't make smilies work.

[Melbel]

Ugh. I feel for you. At least with soccer, there are enough players to field a team even if a few players are missing. Virtually all players miss at least 1 game per season. That is putting you in an impossible position. I guess there is no chance that you husband can attend solo? Then again, if left alone, he may actually BUY a house visiting Miami, lol! :grouphug:

[AngB]

As someone who has played/helped coach/daughter of a lifelong coach, I understand why the team would be ticked. (I also think that it's crazy they only allow 9 kids on a tball roster, out here our teams have 12+ players on a team at young ages especially because life happens.) In our area, teams can also have "guest players" for people to fill in if there is not enough to play, the only rule is that the player can't be on another team in the same age group in the same league. (So for example, I was a "guest player" for teams in a league 20 min. away, our team had guest players if a bunch of people were going to be gone, etc.) It might not be a bad idea to ask if the team could have guest players and maybe volunteer to ask around to find someone (maybe a friend of your kids?) I am really surprised that with a team of only 9 players, they would even let 2 kids from the same family be on the same team because of this exact situation.

Honestly, you and your kids are probably not going to be welcomed after this especially. It's not your fault that the teams only have 9 kids, or that they let you sign both up for the same team, or that you already have plans, but still, it really sucks that the team is going to forfeit not one but 2 games because of your family. I'm sorry that you are in this situation. I'd definitely ask the coach about the guest player situation, especially if they only allow 9 kids per team, I'd be surprised if they don't allow guest players as long as the kids are not on the roster of another team in your "division".

[MissyAg94]

It's T Ball. Your family function is more important. I understand why you feel bad but the other parents will get over it. And only having nine players is crazy. It would be very easy for two kids to be sick on the same day. :hug:

[dogmom]

I don't remember keeping score in T-ball. I remember no strikes, every kid gets to swing until he hits. Even in our U10 soccer (8/9 yo) if there are not enough players on a team we do not forfeit. Either the other team goes down players or they can loan us some of theirs. Honestly, if the parents are keeping score in T-ball with "undefeated teams" I would seriously consider dropping out after this year.

[Green_Tea]

It's T Ball. Your family function is more important. I understand why you feel bad but the other parents will get over it. And only having nine players is crazy. It would be very easy for two kids to be sick on the same day. :hug:


I don't remember keeping score in T-ball. I remember no strikes, every kid gets to swing until he hits. Even in our U10 soccer (8/9 yo) if there are not enough players on a team we do not forfeit. Either the other team goes down players or they can loan us some of theirs. Honestly, if the parents are keeping score in T-ball with "undefeated teams" I would seriously consider dropping out after this year.



:yeahthat: to both of the above. We're talking about T BALL, not the World Series. Undefeated teams? IN T BALL??? Absurd.

[Jai]

I agree with Angie. I know it is t-ball, but if the two games are forfeited, the other children will not have the opportunity to play, right? That doesn't seem fair to the children (The parents are another story--they are probably competitive and very proud of their team record which can be a good or bad thing.). I think it is crazy that only nine children are allowed on the roster. Maybe they will allow guest team members.

[brittone2]

DS1's Little League team didn't keep score for T ball or coach pitch. Of course, there were one or two parents who still kept score just for fun :rolleyes: just so they could know and talk about whether it was a win or not.

I would just ignore the disapproval from the other parents. It is tee ball. I have a tough time getting really invested in sports for children that young.

[kijip]

DS1's Little League team didn't keep score for T ball or coach pitch. Of course, there were one or two parents who still kept score just for fun :rolleyes: just so they could know and talk about whether it was a win or not.

I would just ignore the disapproval from the other parents. It is tee ball. I have a tough time getting really invested in sports for children that young.

:yeahthat:

I would see if they can sub in some other kids or whatever. But I would not feel badly about it. With 2 players gone = forfeit, I don't think they will be playing much this year. They need more players. In our league, 2-3 kids were missing from every game (but there were more like 14-15 kids on the team.)

[MissyAg94]

I know it is t-ball, but if the two games are forfeited, the other children will not have the opportunity to play, right? That doesn't seem fair to the children

But that's not OP's fault. That's the league's fault for establishing nine member teams. It seems to me that there is the potential for many forfeitures when the teams are so small.

A Bat Mitzvah is more important than Tball regardless of the feelings of the other parents. They need to get some perspective.

[kijip]

But that's not OP's fault. That's the league's fault for establishing nine member teams. It seems to me that there is the potential for many forfeitures when the teams are so small.



:yeahthat:

They should have more players or 4 teams of 11 (with one 12) rather than 5 of 9.

[R2sweetboys]

Aww, that stinks that you are in that position! I do understand how you feel-we've had to pull DS1 from some family/social functions this winter due to basketball and winter baseball. It's so hard finding balance between honoring your commitment to the team and having a social life. Family is most important yet you have committed to a team. FWIW, in your circumstances I would absolutely do the same thing. Quite frankly, I think it's poor planning by the league to only have 9 players per team! I get that it offers more play time, but there is absolutely no cushion for having a teammate who is sick,injured, or has a prior commitment. What do they do if a player is injured?? Don't sweat it too much, it's just life.

[Jai]

But that's not OP's fault. That's the league's fault for establishing nine member teams. It seems to me that there is the potential for many forfeitures when the teams are so small.

A Bat Mitzvah is more important than Tball regardless of the feelings of the other parents. They need to get some perspective.

In now way am I blaming the OP. I think they should allow more children on the roster. Maybe the team went undefeated because their strategy was always to show up with enough kids to play the game. If the other team forfeits, is it an automatic win? I know it is off-topic. Just wondering.

[Globetrotter]

They need to have more kids on a team because things happen and, IME, it is very common to have players absent. And I agree.. for goodness sakes, it's only tball and you have a very valid excuse for missing the game. We would never last on such a competitive team, which is one reason we do recreational sports vs. comp. Is it too late to join another team? IME, even within a league there are some crazy competitive teams with obnoxious parents on the sidelines and other teams are more laid back. We have been fortunate to have found a good blend of great, involved parents and coaches who understand we have lives outside of sports.

[hellokitty]

I'm so sorry you've been put in this situation. It sucks. Most everyone misses at least one or two games in our t-ball league. It is ok and they have more kids than the minimum, PLUS it's just frickin' t-ball!!! Not professional sports! I would be so miffed, I would quit the team. The pp is right, they will probably treat you poorly now, even though it's not your fault. Quite honestly, it's sickening to me that they put all the same kids back on the same team like that. Our league makes sure to mix it up and NO requesting to be on the same team as so-and-so. Even if you weren't going to miss two games, you were already going to be entering a cliquey situation. Anyway, no advice, but I feel angry for you that you and your children have been put in a lose-lose situation like this. And yes, your priorities to attend the family function is the correct priority. What kind of nut jobs are so into winning for t-ball? Our league doesn't even keep score of which team won or lost.

[tribe pride]

But that's not OP's fault. That's the league's fault for establishing nine member teams. It seems to me that there is the potential for many forfeitures when the teams are so small.

A Bat Mitzvah is more important than Tball regardless of the feelings of the other parents. They need to get some perspective.

:yeahthat: DH is a HS coach, and I just asked him what he thinks about the situation. He said to go to the Bat Mitzvah.

[ilfaith]

This is our first time playing in a league that is this competitive. In the past, we've done soccer and basketball through our JCC and the leagues have been really mellow, more emphasis on having fun than winning. On the other hand, this league has an All Star traveling team for T-ball...for 4-7-year-olds.

I don't know if it will be possible to get subs for the game. I know two boys in DS2's class were in the same league last year (one was on the same team last spring). I don't think either are playing this season.

I wish I'd none earlier that opening day would be the week we are away. If I could have let the coach know in advance that we'd be gone, he could have arranged for our team to have had the bye week instead of volunteering our boys for a double header (our coach is also one of the league's directors). It's frustrating that they can't get schedules set earlier. The same thing happened with soccer. We didn't get word of when the first game would be until a week before the start of the season, and we had a prior commitment that afternoon, so we missed opening day then as well.

[KrisM]

That stinks. Here, while we don't have an actual schedule, the games always start the same weekend and they are always on the same day. So, this will be our first year in baseball and I already know that games start first weekend in May and they play Tues/Thurs. I'm surprised that you didn't know at sign up when the season would start and end and what days it's on. It seems like they're making it hard for anyone to plan by only giving 1.5 weeks notice of this. And with only 9 on a team, how on earth will they play? Especially if more games are on Saturdays. People do things on Saturdays and giving so little notice that that's when the games will be seems crazy to me!

When DS played soccer and a team didn't have enough kids to play, they did forfeit, but then members from the team with enough kids would play on the other team so that everyone played.