Would you move?

[lhafer]

Would you move to another city or out of state for a couple of years if it meant you could save quite a bit of money?

We currently live in Houston. Our children just turned 2 and 6 (started K this year). DH works in the oil industry, which is really big here. We would love to move out a bit, and get an acre or 2 of land, and build our dream home. But to do that, we need to save quite a bit of money (we want to save $100-200k). We are hoping to do this in 2-3 years.

DH could potentially switch positions and get transferred to some other places (much less desirable) but it would allow us to save a lot of money in the process. It would be places like Corpus Christie, Victoria, Beaumont, Lake Charles, some little town way north in Illinois - a refinery in the middle of nowhere. We would do this for a couple of years, and then move back to where we want to build our dream house.

I told DH the only way I wanted to do this is if Houston will be our "final" destination. Is it my dream location? Heck NO. But it has been good to us, and we do well. And as long as he's in the oil industry, there aren't many other better options to be and live.

With any move we make, I would like for our final move to happen by the time DD1 is in 3rd grade. I don't want to move any more after that for her sake, and making friends, feeling secure, etc.

[infomama]

Short term sacrifice for long term gain is the way I see it. I would say go for it if you think everything else will work out around the move.

[ellies mom]

I wouldn't. If your "move back" date was further out, maybe I'd think about it. If the temporary area was an area you could see yourself living in somewhat happily for the next 20 years, maybe. I could see downsizing into a smaller house or apartment in your current area for a few years but I wouldn't move out the area just to save money. Life has a way of throwing wrenches into the works. How would you feel if you could never move back?

[khm]

I don't think so. Seems like a LOT of moving in a very short time-frame. Admittedly, I loathe moving without kids, with them, ugh.

You'd have to move back and move into a temp place while the dream house was being built, right? I'd probably look at downsizing now (apartment or whatever) and building in a few years while living there.

Additionally, are you positive the living out farther IS your dream-situation, what is your husband's commute going to be? Do you work (now or in the future), how will that impact your options?

If you are unsure, maybe move out there *now* in a cheaper apartment and test the waters.

I dunno, I guess I've just seen a lot of people get the "dream house or dream location" and realize it isn't all that it's cracked up to be in one way or another. And, in your case it'll be after you've put yourselves through some pretty big inconveniences.

[lhafer]

I wouldn't. If your "move back" date was further out, maybe I'd think about it. If the temporary area was an area you could see yourself living in somewhat happily for the next 20 years, maybe. I could see downsizing into a smaller house or apartment in your current area for a few years but I wouldn't move out the area just to save money. Life has a way of throwing wrenches into the works. How would you feel if you could never move back?

It would be a transfer within my husband's job. If we couldn't move back here, I would be fine with that. We wouldn't stay there either though. If life through a wrench - we would probably move else where and probably try something new.

DH and I have been talking lately about what it means to be happy. We have a wonderful like where we are right now. He makes good money, I am able to stay home. The schools are great. Our best friends are here. Our family isn't close by, but about a 5 hour drive from here.

But both of us feel like there is something....more for us. Somewhere. Just don't know where or doing what. But looking at the grand scheme of things...we could continue doing what we are doing and be relatively happy, or we could potentially loose it all by trying to find that "little something" that we feel we are missing. So the "dream" house I want is staying in this life, keep on keeping on.

We watch House Hunters International a lot. I'm envious of the people who leave everything behind and start new lives in new countries. You could end up be extremely happy in the new life. But chances are you would be at or below the level of happiness that you left behind.

I am more than willing to branch out and try a new life. But DH is scared (understandably). So in my mind I see us with Houston always being our home, with DH always working the in oil industry because that's what he knows, what he's good at. Even though he's bored, and doesn't find excitement at all in his career anymore.

[lhafer]

I don't think so. Seems like a LOT of moving in a very short time-frame. Admittedly, I loathe moving without kids, with them, ugh.

You'd have to move back and move into a temp place while the dream house was being built, right? I'd probably look at downsizing now (apartment or whatever) and building in a few years while living there.

Additionally, are you positive the living out farther IS your dream-situation, what is your husband's commute going to be? Do you work (now or in the future), how will that impact your options?

If you are unsure, maybe move out there *now* in a cheaper apartment and test the waters.

I dunno, I guess I've just seen a lot of people get the "dream house or dream location" and realize it isn't all that it's cracked up to be in one way or another. And, in your case it'll be after you've put yourselves through some pretty big inconveniences.

In the past 6 years we have moved from an apartment and built our first house, sold it, got pregnant with #2 (that was unexpected), moved into an apt for 6 months while our current house was being built, and then moved into our current house, and had DD2 2 months later. We've been here 2 years. When we moved out of our first house, we packed the entire 2,900sqft house up in 2 days. We had 3 year old and we both worked full time. When we put our minds to something...it gets done!

DH has done the commute to the new dream location...it adds about 10 minutes to his current commute - and he's okay with that. I've tried to find areas a little closer, but we have rejected them all for various reasons.

Our dream location is still a master planned community, they just have acreage lots. Still have the swimming pool/tennis courts/playgrounds, etc. It's a little further than his current drive...it's just a matter of taking a different freeway that he does now. Plus it's closer to the area where we prefer shopping/eating currently.

[hellokitty]

Do you have family in houston, and if you do, do they help out a lot? I ask, b/c if you have family ties and they help out a lot, I would not move. If you don't have any ties to your area, I'd lean more toward moving. The only thing is that it sounds like you have your heart set on ending up back in houston. Things happen and change and I wonder how you would feel if moving back didn't end up working out.

We've considered moving before too. We have some family ties to our area, but honestly, they are very weak (both sets of parents live an hr in opposite directions and don't help out at all, and are not involved with getting to know my kids). So, if a good job opp were to come up AND it was in an area that we think we would like, we would not hesitate to move. The only thing that would suck would be trying to sell our house. The housing market in our state has finally improved, EXCEPT in our area, so housing would be tricky for our situation.

[lhafer]

Do you have family in houston, and if you do, do they help out a lot? I ask, b/c if you have family ties and they help out a lot, I would not move. If you don't have any ties to your area, I'd lean more toward moving. The only thing is that it sounds like you have your heart set on ending up back in houston. Things happen and change and I wonder how you would feel if moving back didn't end up working out.

We've considered moving before too. We have some family ties to our area, but honestly, they are very weak (both sets of parents live an hr in opposite directions and don't help out at all, and are not involved with getting to know my kids). So, if a good job opp were to come up AND it was in an area that we think we would like, we would not hesitate to move. The only thing that would suck would be trying to sell our house. The housing market in our state has finally improved, EXCEPT in our area, so housing would be tricky for our situation.

We have NO family here in Houston. ALL of our family is 5 hours away. Only our best friends live here.

The bolded sentence isn't the case at all. I believe that Houston is where we will stay or where we will end up if we moved away because 1. how big the oil industry is here, and 2. because DH's company is based here, and 3, there are MANY refineries/oil companies here. Neither one of us have ties with Houston at all other than his job. My background is nursing, so I can go anywhere. And I have no issues with starting a new career if need be. My main interest in real estate, and once the kids are a little older I was thinking of getting my license in that field. DH also has an MBA that he finished not long ago, that he isn't really using. So I could see him starting in a new career/field as well...if he could get over being terrified of trying something new.

DH worked for his company since a Jr in college. They offered him a position straight out of school, and he has been working his way up since. He is a "golden" boy there, and the problem is he is VERY young to be in his position. If he were to go to a different company, the people in his equal position are all a lot older. So he would be at a big disadvantage there.

[KpbS]

I probably wouldn't move out of town but instead, think of other ways to save toward your goal even if it took quite a bit more time. Since you are happy in Houston and have close friends there (although not family) I would think about either moving to a less expensive house or area (or renting?) and trying to save up or perhaps you going back to work to save the money for a move.

IMO it is really hard to live somewhere for a couple of years knowing it is temporary (esp somewhere somewhat undesirable). You are less invested in making friends and putting down roots b/c it is temporary.

If your DH has a good job, I would look into other directions for the change you are both seeking. Do you belong to a church or civic organization where you volunteer your time? Can you volunteer at your DD1's school or become a part of a group like Big Brothers/Big Sisters or Habitat for Humanity? :grouphug:

[ha98ed14]

I think you are taking a HUGE risk by moving and thinking you will be able to get back to Houston when you want. A lot can happen in 3 years. The recession has taught us that. Who knows what will happen in the RE market where you are moving to. A little town in Northern Illinois doesn't sound like a boomtown. Will you be able to sell the house assuming you buy one when you get there? If you plan to rent, maybe it's less of an issue, but still. How do you know that DH's position will still be there? Maybe they will have eliminated it or consolidated it and it won't be based in Houston, or there are no openings in Houston. It *could* work out fine, but unless you can be okay with NOT making it back to Houston AND the possibility that you make have to spend longer than you want to in your UNDESIRED location, then NO WAY would I move. If I was in your position, I would try to scale back my dreams of the perfect house and try to find a compromise that you can comfortably afford and be mostly happy with in Houston. JMHO.

[mackmama]

I probably would not - mainly because I think there is a large possibility that life will intervene and you wouldn't be able to get back to Houston.

[TxCat]

I wouldn't do it. You might sacrifice a lot of short-term happiness for the potential of long-term happiness, which isn't even guaranteed. You mention that you have a lot of things around you that you love right now - friends, house, community, etc. What if you hate where you move to? What if your kids hate it? A lot of studies on happiness directly correlate overall level of happiness to your relationships with friends, your community, etc. So, right now you're doing well in that regard, and a move doesn't guarantee anything. It doesn't even guarantee saving the money that you're hoping to, since the economy and oil/gas industry might suddenly change. If you're pretty happy with life now, I'm not sure why you would want to gamble on it.

[gatorsmom]

My FIL spent most of his life working in the oil and gas business. He just retired from it a year ago. My DH started working on an off shore oil rig straight out of college for the money and adventure. :). Knowing what I do about the culture in this industry, I'd say go for it, definitely. If your DH is well-entrenched in the company and industry, he should easily be able to get back to Houston though maybe not on your schedule.

DH and I lived in Houston for several years before we moved north. I loved it there. My dream is to have a retirement condo in the Galleria area one day. :)

ETA: I know some pp mentioned you would be moving away from friends and that things could change. But friends could leave if you stay where you are. And you could make soem of the best friends of your life elsewhere. There really are no guarantees either way. IF- and this important- IF your DH could get a job with another oil and gas company because he is a specialist in what he does, I'd do it.

[wellyes]

With a toddler and a school-aged kid, no way. I would not move to somewhere I didn't like for several years. That is a lot of upheaval and risk to take if the best-case scenario is getting a bigger house & lot back where you started. Especially if it'll be the big culture shock of Texas to Illinois to Texas.

[Trigglet]

I'll be the dissenting voice - I would do it in a heartbeat. My parents did it when I was a kid and they were able to buy a house in London they never would have been able to afford if they'd just stayed put and played it 'safe' (we lived in Jakarta for several years, so all sorts of reasons to be nervous about a move like that - Lake Charles may not be charming, but it's got a Target :ROTFLMAO:). I think that life is too short to feel like something's missing.

Clearly one never knows what's around the corner, and too much 'carefree' looks like foolishness, but it doesn't sound like your husband is happy or fulfilled and not having family ties to your current location is a big aspect that frees you up, I think.

I say go for it!!

[kristenk]

Eh. I don't know, but it doesn't seem super radical to me, especially if you're talking about Victoria, Corpus Christi, Lake Charles or Beaumont. Physically, those aren't too far away (the drive from Corpus would be the most painful, I think), so you could always go back and visit friends.

Do you and your DH grow up in Houston or a large city? Do you have any experience with small cities/towns?

What do you like to do for play/relaxation? Would you find those things in, say, Victoria? Can you live without some of the things that Houston has to offer?

Several of DH's friends have recently moved for work. They're planning to stay for 2-3 years and then will move again. If you want to give it a try, go for it. It's not like Houston is going to lock the city gates when you move out and not let you back in!

I think if you approach it as an adventure and are open to living in a smaller town, it would be okay. Go check out the areas and see if you can see yourself living there. If you can, go for it. If you think you'd be miserable, the misery wouldn't be worth however much money you can make.

I guess I should provide a disclaimer that I grew up sort of near Corpus. My mom considered Corpus "the big city" and hated driving there, so we'd go to the mall in Victoria to shop. :p Corpus is way too flat for me. I think I'd go crazy living there. My vote would be for Victoria. It's a decent location and size. I know nothing about the schools or COL there, but I imagine that COL would be pretty low. My aunt, uncle & cousins lived in Beaumont growing up and I'll be attending a wedding in Lake Charles this summer.

[tribe pride]

I wouldn't do it. You might sacrifice a lot of short-term happiness for the potential of long-term happiness, which isn't even guaranteed. You mention that you have a lot of things around you that you love right now - friends, house, community, etc. What if you hate where you move to? What if your kids hate it? A lot of studies on happiness directly correlate overall level of happiness to your relationships with friends, your community, etc. So, right now you're doing well in that regard, and a move doesn't guarantee anything. It doesn't even guarantee saving the money that you're hoping to, since the economy and oil/gas industry might suddenly change. If you're pretty happy with life now, I'm not sure why you would want to gamble on it.

:yeahthat: For the past 5 years, we haven't lived near any family or close friends. The experience has truly, truly taught me the value of having great community; you can't put a price on it. I mean, I'd happily live in a 900 sq ft apartment if it meant I could live near my best friends. If I were you, I wouldn't trade that experience, for you or your children, in order to move to a remote location, with no guarantees that you'd be able to move back, in order to save money for a dream home.

I'd only move unless, 1. Your DH hates his job and needs a change, or 2. You're fine with the possibility of never moving back to Houston. But then, I'm really big on community and putting down roots, so take my opinion with a grain of salt!

[Mommy_Again]

The wild card in your plan would be the real estate market. Would you buy in the temporary location? If so, what if the market tanked further when you went to sell and you couldn't leave without taking a loss? And what if when you came back to Houston, prices skyrocketed in your dream location and you couldn't afford it as you thought you could?

Also will moving to a small town derail your DH's career path, or is that a necessary checkmark on his way up the ladder? I'm sure you've thought this all through, these are just the questions that come to mind for me. If you can make it work, I say go for it. Beaumont is lovely!


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[amandabea]

Short term sacrifice for long term gain is the way I see it. I would say go for it if you think everything else will work out around the move.

:yeahthat:
I would do it! We moved across the country for my job 16 months ago and are looking at moving back in the next few months. If we hadn't made the first move, this next one wouldn't be possible and we are really looking forward to it.

[crl]

My hesitation is, are you sure the new house is going to fix things? Is that's what is missing? Because that is the underlying motivation for moving, right? To move up the schedule on building the new house? It seems like rather a risk and I would hesitate to take it unless it was going to get me closer to fixing the real issue, whatever it is. I am a military brat and of the general opinion that moving doesn't necessarily fix things, though it can be fun and exciting sometimes. Where ever you go, there you are and all that.

Catherine

[lhafer]

Eh. I don't know, but it doesn't seem super radical to me, especially if you're talking about Victoria, Corpus Christi, Lake Charles or Beaumont. Physically, those aren't too far away (the drive from Corpus would be the most painful, I think), so you could always go back and visit friends.

Do you and your DH grow up in Houston or a large city? Do you have any experience with small cities/towns?

What do you like to do for play/relaxation? Would you find those things in, say, Victoria? Can you live without some of the things that Houston has to offer?

Several of DH's friends have recently moved for work. They're planning to stay for 2-3 years and then will move again. If you want to give it a try, go for it. It's not like Houston is going to lock the city gates when you move out and not let you back in!

I think if you approach it as an adventure and are open to living in a smaller town, it would be okay. Go check out the areas and see if you can see yourself living there. If you can, go for it. If you think you'd be miserable, the misery wouldn't be worth however much money you can make.

I guess I should provide a disclaimer that I grew up sort of near Corpus. My mom considered Corpus "the big city" and hated driving there, so we'd go to the mall in Victoria to shop. :p Corpus is way too flat for me. I think I'd go crazy living there. My vote would be for Victoria. It's a decent location and size. I know nothing about the schools or COL there, but I imagine that COL would be pretty low. My aunt, uncle & cousins lived in Beaumont growing up and I'll be attending a wedding in Lake Charles this summer.

Yes, we grew up in tiny towns outside of Ft. Worth. The population of DH's town growing up is ~3,500 people total, mine is about 11,000 total. I've also lived on a 500 acre ranch 40 miles north of San Antonio, DH grew up on 3 acres out in the sticks growing up, we've lived in Austin, San Marcos, and now we live in Houston - the 4th largest city in the nation.

We are home-bodies. We tend to watch movies together, play games/video games, etc. It's not like we go looking for malls to go shopping all the time, or enjoy night life in the city. So small town living is not a big deal for us.


The wild card in your plan would be the real estate market. Would you buy in the temporary location? If so, what if the market tanked further when you went to sell and you couldn't leave without taking a loss? And what if when you came back to Houston, prices skyrocketed in your dream location and you couldn't afford it as you thought you could?

Also will moving to a small town derail your DH's career path, or is that a necessary checkmark on his way up the ladder? I'm sure you've thought this all through, these are just the questions that come to mind for me. If you can make it work, I say go for it. Beaumont is lovely!


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The real estate part is what's sweet about a transfer. The company would take of almost all of it. We would do what ever's better - renting vs buying - in the new location.

Houston, and Texas in general, has some of the lowest cost of living in the nation. It's one of the things that makes it hard to leave actually.

It wouldn't derail DH's job - it would be a promotion because that's the only way we would go for it.

We had friends who were transferred to Holland for 2.5 years (our best friends who we live by now actually) - the DH's work in the same refinery. So during the 6 years we have lived by them, we have only been in the same country for about 3 of those years!!

There are literally hundreds of oil/gas companies here in Houston. We also have Exxon/Mobil, Shell, Valero, BP, ConocoPHillips, among many others that have refineries here.

We've already survived a bankruptcy with this refinery, along with a split from Chevron, and being bought out by 2 different companies.

[khm]

My hesitation is, are you sure the new house is going to fix things? Is that's what is missing? Because that is the underlying motivation for moving, right? To move up the schedule on building the new house? It seems like rather a risk and I would hesitate to take it unless it was going to get me closer to fixing the real issue, whatever it is. I am a military brat and of the general opinion that moving doesn't necessarily fix things, though it can be fun and exciting sometimes. Where ever you go, there you are and all that.

Catherine

That's what I was trying to get at too. The things you say aren't really things "fixed" or "satisfied" by a new house. A new house that is actually very close in proximity to the old. (I'd initially imagined it farther out, more of a change, I guess.)

When you built the current house, did you anticipate wanting to leave it in a mere two years?

I don't know, I guess when I put myself in your shoes, doing all that for a different house a few miles further out just doesn't seem worth it.

I feel like it'll be a great new house, but after the shiny happy new house feel wears, the underlying wanderlust will still be tugging at you. It seems a bit like retail therapy... real estate therapy? ;)

If it were me (which it obviously isn't!!) I'd stay where you are, save your pennies and built the new house in a few years -or- change your mind completely and go elsewhere, I'd give it a bit of time to decide what it is you guys are really wanting.

Also, there are many styles where it is easier to build "with potential" that don't require all the bells and whistles a the first go. Maybe start with the dream spot, and a good house that can become the dream house in a few years' time vs. right.now.

[lhafer]

That's what I was trying to get at too. The things you say aren't really things "fixed" or "satisfied" by a new house. A new house that is actually very close in proximity to the old. (I'd initially imagined it farther out, more of a change, I guess.)

When you built the current house, did you anticipate wanting to leave it in a mere two years?

No I didn't anticipate the want to move again so soon. When we built our first house, things came to light once we had a child that we had looked the other way on initially - no sidewalks, golf course community that teenagers and young children drove golf carts on the streets. The neighborhood just started going down hill.

We built this house and it's a place we *could* stay in for 20 more years. It fits our lifestyle, our needs, etc. The issue is the size of the yard and that I feel like the neighbors are on top of me. Because we like 1 stories, it's hard to find a good sized lot with a large 1 story house. That's why I want at least an acre lot. We found a really nice community that offers what our current community has on 1+ acre lots.

The whole point of a new house is that although DH talks about being happier elsewhere/doing something else....I do not foresee him EVER taking the risk at starting over. He's an engineer. Before we had kids, he thought he wanted to be a dentist. I supported him while he took a year of anatomy/physiology classes and other classes required. I supported him while he applied for dental school and got in. Then he got cold feet and didn't go. He was afraid of "starting over" with his career...and this was at least 7 years ago. So I REALLY can't see him getting up the nerve to leave his company now that he's been with them since 1999.

Do I think a new house will fix my wanderlust? No. But I don't think that DH will ever be able to pack up and move somewhere and start a new life. So if living in Houston is going to be "it" for us, I want to make it a place I don't feel clausterphobic. I want more than a 10' back yard. I want more than 10' between our actual houses. I thought I could over look that by having a community with lots of parks, sidewalks, and all the other great ammenities. But it's getting to me.

[gatorsmom]

. I want more than a 10' back yard. I want more than 10' between our actual houses. I thought I could over look that by having a community with lots of parks, sidewalks, and all the other great ammenities. But it's getting to me.

My ILs live north of Houston. My SIL and her DH are building a house in Montgomery. There are some really big lots out there. Would that area be convenient for you?

[lhafer]

My ILs live north of Houston. My SIL and her DH are building a house in Montgomery. There are some really big lots out there. Would that area be convenient for you?

No. DH's job is in East Houston in the ship channel. Spring (just south of The Woodlands) is about as far north as we can go...that puts him at a 50 minute commute. Technically it is Montgomery county though. We currently live in NE houston, and DH has about a 40 minute commute.

[queenmama]

You guys sound exactly like us. I can tell you're restless and feel like there's a "better life" waiting if you could just seize an opportunity to go after it. And your DH is not a risk-taker, most likely feels the burden of responsibility more than the itch to try something new, and the obligation of providing security for his family is the driving force behind his decisions; whether he's "satisfied" with his life (career-wise) is probably a moot point.

Yep, we're in the same boat. Only his family is here, which tips the balance even farther over for staying put. Since I really, really love DS's private school and the idea that he'll have gone through kindy-12th grade with the same small group, we're going to tough it out (and by "we" I mean "me," since he has no problem living and dying here! Lol). My hope is that when DS graduates HS we can revisit the idea of getting out of here. Just six more years! ;)

I've promised for years that I'd be willing to make sacrifices (downsizing, going back to work so he can go back to school, etc), but he's so terrified of letting go of our security, I don't know if it'll ever happen. It's kind of heartbreaking to me, because he's okay with his job but he doesn't love it, and he has so much potential. But that's MY personality and MY projections. He is satisfied -- enough -- for now not to take that risk, and I am SUPER THANKFUL that he has that drive to take care of us more than chase his dreams. I just hope there comes a day that the risk is diminished enough that he'll try for something that DOES make him happy.



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[khm]

Ah, I do understand a bit better now. It is a tough decision. I still doubt it'd be something I'd do, but I now understand the rationale a bit more.

[lhafer]

You guys sound exactly like us. I can tell you're restless and feel like there's a "better life" waiting if you could just seize an opportunity to go after it. And your DH is not a risk-taker, most likely feels the burden of responsibility more than the itch to try something new, and the obligation of providing security for his family is the driving force behind his decisions; whether he's "satisfied" with his life (career-wise) is probably a moot point.

Yep, we're in the same boat. Only his family is here, which tips the balance even farther over for staying put. Since I really, really love DS's private school and the idea that he'll have gone through kindy-12th grade with the same small group, we're going to tough it out (and by "we" I mean "me," since he has no problem living and dying here! Lol). My hope is that when DS graduates HS we can revisit the idea of getting out of here. Just six more years! ;)

I've promised for years that I'd be willing to make sacrifices (downsizing, going back to work so he can go back to school, etc), but he's so terrified of letting go of our security, I don't know if it'll ever happen. It's kind of heartbreaking to me, because he's okay with his job but he doesn't love it, and he has so much potential. But that's MY personality and MY projections. He is satisfied -- enough -- for now not to take that risk, and I am SUPER THANKFUL that he has that drive to take care of us more than chase his dreams. I just hope there comes a day that the risk is diminished enough that he'll try for something that DOES make him happy.



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OMG. You are me. I am you. Glad I'm not alone, or crazy for feeling like this. Thank you. I hope you get what you want when the time comes! Unfortunately, mine is just starting...so it would be 20 more years if that is our life (for my baby to graduate high school). I could live with that. Just not sure I want to...But he is my world, and I am his. We support each other. And make sacrifices for each other.

I told him last night that I have come to realize that my destiny is to hurry up and wait. I had to wait to go to school (I worked full time and put him through school). I had to wait to have children (we waited until after I graduated college...which took me 8 years to finish a 4 year degree). I had to wait to get house (we were super poor and it took a long time to save money). I have an opportunity to start a franchise that I think would be super lucrative, but have to wait because DH wants to be in a better financial situation - so I figure that will never happen. So I switched my focus, but now I have to wait some more. Waiting gets old.

[tropicalmom]

If it would be a "checkmark" on his advancement in the company, I think it's worth it. The important thing is to visit each of the places, inquire about schools and see what feels right. I believe in somewhere like Lake Charles you're really going to need private school so make sure to factor that cost into the equation.

[R2sweetboys]

(partial quote)

I told him last night that I have come to realize that my destiny is to hurry up and wait. I had to wait to go to school (I worked full time and put him through school). I had to wait to have children (we waited until after I graduated college...which took me 8 years to finish a 4 year degree). I had to wait to get house (we were super poor and it took a long time to save money). I have an opportunity to start a franchise that I think would be super lucrative, but have to wait because DH wants to be in a better financial situation - so I figure that will never happen. So I switched my focus, but now I have to wait some more. Waiting gets old.

:hug: You know, this makes me sad for you. It truly is admirable that you have been willing to make so many sacrifices for your husband and your family. It's obvious how much you care about him and support him. You consider his well-being and happiness with every decision you are contemplating. While that is all very positive, YOU need to be able to live out your dreams too. Life is too short to be constantly putting off what would truly make you happy.

It sounds like you know what you really want and have a plan for making it happen. You are willing and able to sacrifice temporarily in order to make yourself happier in the long run. I think you should go for it. You only live once and you deserve to be happy.

[AnnieW625]

I might think about it, but honestly CRL's post is how I feel deep down in your situation. Will the move really make you feel happy since you will no longer be in a home that you have posted you have some resentment about? That might be the biggest weight off of my shoulders if I was dealing with something like this.

I know people who work in the oil industry too and the last person I know who moved here got shipped back to Houston right on schedule exactly 3 years later. So in that respect I know that there is no reason you won't be back in Houston either in 3 yrs. so that would be a positive thing about the move for me.

I would initially move now as I think it would be easier on your kids because at the latest you be back in Houston when DD2 is 5 or 6 yrs. old, and DD1 is in 4th or 5th grade. It would make more sense to move at that age vs. moving in another 3-4 yrs. when DD1 is 9 or 10 and then planning on having to move back when she is 12 or 13.

As far as location goes before moving here where we do have some family close we were this close to moving to Lawton, OK, where we knew no one, but we would have done it because it was a job and we weren't in a position to be picky.

Good luck with your decision and I am sure that you will make the right one for your family.