How confident/trusting are you in your pediatrician's advice?

[okinawama]

I've had a couple appointments with my pediatrician's (we see two different, who ever is available) that have left me questioning their (one of the doc in particular) advice. I really like each of them personally; their bedside manner is good and my kids feel completely at ease when we see them. None of the advice given has been dangerous, it's just been, what I feel, is bad advice.

For example, I inquired about my then 9 month old and the fact that he was still up multiple times a night. My docs advice was to not allow my son to nap at all, and then put him to bed around 8/9, and then he'd be tired enough to sleep through the night....HA! I clearly didn't take that advice, I've read every sleep book out there and know that over tired baby's sleep terribly. It shocked me that the doc was serious and thought this was a good idea. I didn't say anything, just looked at him and went home and referenced Weissbluth. He's also had recommendations on BF, solids and growth that I haven't found to be good advice. Again, nothing dangerous, just not good advice.

FWIW, he's young ( later 20's early 30's) single and has no kids (well neither of the docs have kids) Anyway, I'm just wondering if it's "normal" for you to not always agree with a docs recommendation.

[o_mom]

My pediatrician is there for medical advice. Any other topics (sleeping, eating, etc.) when they don't rise to the point of medical problems, I treat the same as any other parent giving me advice.

[BabbyO]

Well, I trust our Ped quite a bit. But she has 4 kids and one has the same FA's as DS. She was the first person (not the ER doc's we saw or other "on-call" docs that saw DS in the early stages) that explained the FA to me in terms I understood and explained what I needed to do to eliminate the offending foods...and in general was the most thorough.

I find that her being a working mom means she and I really connect, too. FWIW, I found it interesting that I actually introduced her to BLW. She decided to try it with her 4th and it went really well!

[crl]

I don't think most peds know much about sleep, car seats, baby gear, and so on. I do trust my ped on things like vaccines and illnesses.

Catherine

[123LuckyMom]

I agree with okinawama. Some pediatricians give great advice because they've had so much experience with so many children over the years. Our pediatrician is a dad to three, and his young twins are just a couple of years older than DS. His wife is our vet, and they have stories to tell! I do ask his advice, but then I make my own decisions. Just like any other person, "expert" or not, his philosophy may differ from mine. Even when it comes to medical advice, I think when you hear something that seems "off" to you, you need to trust your instincts, do some research, and seek another doctor's opinion!

[mackmama]

I don't think most peds know much about sleep, car seats, baby gear, and so on. I do trust my ped on things like vaccines and illnesses.

Catherine

:yeahthat:

[daisymommy]

I go to the doctor for medical advice, and parenting experts for parenting advice. They are *not* one and the same.


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[egoldber]

I do trust my peds, but I don't ask them for parenting advice, just medical advice.

Funny story, when younger DD was 18 months old, one asked if she was still nursing (they are pro EBF) and I said yes, and still at night too. He looked at me, considered his words very carefully and said, "You know, you can stop that any time you like." And I said "I know". And smiled. That was that. :)

[elektra]

I do trust my ped, but there have been a few things I have not taken as seriously as others.
Ex. she brought up potty training consistently with DD starting at her 15 mo appt. She was really pushing for it and I didn't see the problem. I chose not to worry about it and potty trained DD when she turned 3.
I also disregarded one of the nurse's suggestions to stop BF DD (TMI alert- when my nipples were cracked and bleeding and traces of the blood was passing to DD) after consulting the BBB'ers.

I do trust her on vax'es and other medical issues though. She actually is up on a lot of other things too like carseats, probiotics, sleep and I agree with her on those things. But she has what IMO is the weird focus on potty training that I disregard.

[SnuggleBuggles]

My pediatrician is there for medical advice. Any other topics (sleeping, eating, etc.) when they don't rise to the point of medical problems, I treat the same as any other parent giving me advice.

:yeahthat:

I do my own research and temper their advice with my own research and opinions when it comes to baby care.

[okinawama]

[QUOTE=daisymommy;3443229]I go to the doctor for medical advice, and parenting experts for parenting advice. They are *not* one and the same.


This is a great way to look at it! Thanks! I've often thought of them as one in the same, and really (especially in my case with two childless docs) they're very different!

[swissair81]

I love my ped. She was my ped when I was a teenager, and I've been with the practice since I was a toddler. They are up on all the recent things- RF until age 2, will really discuss vax with you, they have an in office lactation consultant who is awesome. We had one breastfeeding run in when DD3 was jaundiced and her levels were climbing every day. She wanted me to supplement with formula until her numbers came down. We went to battle over it, and we ended up respecting each other more at the end.
I'm not saying I never question her, but I have a good enough relationship with her that I can ask hardball questions and it's okay. She told me recently that I am one of her favorite moms. So clearly she respects me, my knowledge, and parenting experience. I in turn respect her superior medical knowledge. In the end we are all good.

[ha98ed14]

I do trust my peds, but I don't ask them for parenting advice, just medical advice.


Another :yeahthat: They aren't the same. That said, I feel very lucky to have the ped I do. He has been right more times than not, even when I doubted that his advice would work because it seemed too "out there", I followed it and it did.

[sste]

We have had two peds and I have trusted both for medical advice and most parenting advice *except* for carseat and introduction of solids. Our peds have patient populations that include tons of kids of doctors and nurses so they are put through their paces and mostly enjoy it. :) If they made the habit of giving bad advice they would be getting internal pages with people yammering about conflicts between up-to-date and the pedi's advice! Ped. #1, who moved away, had three kids under five and lots of great suggestions on breastfeeding, sleep, when to let them cry versus not, etc. Ped. #2 is more old-school but still surprisingly good with the BFing support, sleep and behavior advice (he saved us last year), referrals to specialists for developmental issues, etc - - he has over thirty years of experience. He does have some bizarre instruction sheet for order of introducing solid foods that I ignore and I practically had a brawl with him over the european data regarding car seats. But, other than that, we are very happy.

[rin]

My pediatrician is there for medical advice. Any other topics (sleeping, eating, etc.) when they don't rise to the point of medical problems, I treat the same as any other parent giving me advice.

:yeahthat:

I think it took me a while to realize that, and I was pretty horrified by some of the things one of our pediatricians said with regards to carseats, but once I realized that medical degree =/= parenting expert we've been much happier!

[twowhat?]

Our pediatrician is amazing, and I have asked for advice on picky eating, tantrums, and even embarrassing questions like DD2's ride-the-high-chairs-(or-any-chair-really)-phase, etc. Every answer he's ever given me has been thoughtful, practical, and applicable.

So yes, I ask for parenting advice because I want his take on it and his perspective coming from seeing hundreds of children and having years and years of experience. It doesn't mean I have to follow his advice, but everything he's ever told me has been pretty much right on the money.

I haven't ever asked for advice on things like car seats and baby gear. I don't expect him to know the latest and greatest about consumer products. He still calls diapers "Pampers" (akin to Kleenex). But - his practice was what alerted me to the initial AAP recommendation to keep kids RF until at least 2.

[Katigre]

I really like our pediatrician and their nurses, but I still consider them a consultant more than a final authority. Advice they give I double check against my gut and my own research - more often than not I follow what they say (b/c I was careful to find a dr. whose paradigm roughly matched my own so we'd have a similar set of values about things like breastfeeding) but sometimes I go my own road. This was the case with my DD getting off of miralax - the ped didn't have good advice about how to do it so I figured out a step-down program on my own based on things I learned from others and it worked well!

[maestramommy]

My current ped is great, and I trust him completely when it comes to medical advice, and perhaps behavioral stuff. he's never given advice on stuff like eating and sleeping, at least not super specific advice. I believe once when Laurel had started solids he said something like, "Generally at this point, whatever your baby is able to eat, you can just feed it to them." That's all. Once I mentioned Laurel was waking 5 times a night, and he was very sympathetic, make some joking comments about it, but didn't tell me what I should do about it. But if I stop and think about it, I've never asked him "What should I do about this?"

We have had consults with him twice about her kids' behavior when it was really driving us crazy, and he's been super helpful there.

[hillview]

My pediatrician is there for medical advice. Any other topics (sleeping, eating, etc.) when they don't rise to the point of medical problems, I treat the same as any other parent giving me advice.
:yeahthat:

Also trust your mommy instinct. Doctors are people too and 100% right. I disagree with my pedi often and am looking for a new one.

[trcy]

My pediatrician is there for medical advice. Any other topics (sleeping, eating, etc.) when they don't rise to the point of medical problems, I treat the same as any other parent giving me advice. That is a good point I had never thought of. There is one ped in the group that I really don't care for. He has given me some advice that just didn't make sense.

[TxCat]

:yeahthat:

I do my own research and temper their advice with my own research and opinions when it comes to baby care.
:yeahthat:

My first pedi was a little more pushy than I would have liked - really pushed sleeping through the night and introducing solids both about 2 months earlier than I was comfortable with. I switched to primarily seeing another pedi in the group that I was more comfortable with in terms of behavioral milestones. I should add that the first pedi had very reasonable science to back up his recommendations and I respected that, but based on DD's temperament, I think she fit the middle of the behavioral spectrum for those things better than the early side.

[kijip]

My pediatrician and I both happen to share the same opinions on common parenting issues. He does not give out any parenting advice that is not health and safety related IME either.

He even passes out a different flyer for each age group on carseat safter that has the booster till they pass the 4 pt seatbelt test, not just age or weight.

He is really awesome. All of the parents I know who go to him are in love.

[hellokitty]

For the most part I like our ped. I chose him, b/c he is very BF friendly and that is not due to his training, but due more to the fact that his wife BF'd their four children, so he has real life experience being exposed to everyday BF issues, and he also is very good about referring new moms to lactation consultants, which I think is wonderful, since so few doctors seem to acknowledge the fact that the LC is the expert on BFing, not them. Now, medically, I usually trust him. There are some topics that we do not agree on, but he is respectful of my wishes and we are always to openly talk about issues and work together. The parenting and sleep advice, is IMO out of their territory of expertise, so I always cringe when peds who don't have special training or knowledge lecture parents about these topics. He has always told me that I should put my kids in time out in a playpen. Well, I don't want the kids to associate the play pen as a punishment, since they do sleep in one when we travel! So, I never followed that advice and have always found it to be kind of odd that he brought it up with all three of my kids at their well baby checks. I think that when it comes to stuff like this you have to do a lot of the in one ear and out the other.

My dad is a ped and he gives off the wall advice. He obviously did not have hands on experience raising his own kids at all. What ped tells parents that babies should be STTN at 6 wks? NONE! I don't know any ped, except for my dad who insists that this is norm. He is also anti-BF. It's weird, b/c ppl find out that my dad is a ped and tell me how lucky I am. Actually, it's the opposite, we disagree on a LOT (medically and parenting, plus everything else under the sun) and he is VERY pushy and belittling about it. You know how you can always tell pushy family members, "that is what the pediatrician said?" Well, I don't have that out, b/c he IS a ped and he thinks that he knows what he is talking about, so automatically in his mind, I am wrong. Worse yet, even though MY ped backs me up, and my dad disagrees, he will tell me that my ped is wrong.

I really find that when it comes to peds that you have to find one that is the right fit. I do NOT deal well with the type who lecture down to you and try to use scare tactics. I know some ppl like to be told exactly what to do and they don't question their doctor, but that is not me. I will ask as many questions as I have to and research on my own before making a decision, and I want a doctor who respects me for doing that and doesn't try to rush or bully me into something that I do not feel is right. Respect is a two way street and I've never understood doctors who are disrespectful of their patients' parents, yet expect the parents to respect them. And yes, doctors are human and not always 100% correct and they do make mistakes. The ones who act like they are gods are the worst types, they think that they can do no wrong and that type of attitude really pisses me off. Sorry for the vent.