S/o: Was your wedding day everything you hoped it would be?

[smiles33]

Spin-off from this thread (http://windsorpeak.com/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=427242) which drew a comparison between disappointed brides and disappointed moms after childbirth expectations aren't met. The point seemed to be that it isn't fair to discount a mother/newlywed's disappointment when she doesn't get the childbirth/wedding she anticipated and hoped to have. I sympathize with those whose plans go awry, but I guess I personally do think the one day is rightfully overshadowed by greater things like a happy and fulfilling marriage or a healthy baby.

So how was your wedding day? Was it everything you expected?

We are fast approaching our 10th anniversary and when I think back on my wedding day, there are things I wish we had done differently. Yet ultimately, my marriage has been amazing so those things are inconsequential in the larger scheme of things. Some of those things are related to money (wish I had bought my dream dress and not the sample dress), but some of it is related to bowing to family pressures.

We have friends our age getting married now and I think I would do things differently at this age (and with my own finances!).

Poll coming!

[TwinFoxes]

There were things that weren't perfect (my nephew wasn't allowed to be my ring bearer or even come to my wedding), but when I look back, I only remember having a great time. I was so happy to be marrying DH. 10 years and counting. :loveeyes:

[crl]

IMO, we had a lovely wedding. I would likely do it differently now, but I am 15 years older so of course some of my tastes and preferences have changed. I was not disappointed at the time, not at all. Of course, I was never super focused on getting married or on being a bride. So it wasn't like the wedding was the culmination of years of dreams about my dress and so on.

Catherine

[Green_Tea]

It was a lovely day and a fun party. Some stuff went right, and some stuff went wrong, but it was a great way to kick-off a wonderful marriage (though DH and I could have been married in jeans in a courthouse on a Wednesday during lunch hour, and I am sure our marriage still would have been terrific!)

Weddings are neat and I love me a great dress, but they have little to do with marriage, IMHO.

[Mopey]

I was just posting thinking about our wedding day in that other thread. And it is great to remember :) Yes, I would do some things a bit differently but it was an amazing day full of love and good vibes. I do wish certain people behaved better, but as a friend of mine once said:

If you manage to marry the man you love on your wedding day, it was PERFECT :D

I totally concur!

[jenstring95]

I voted no but ok with how it turned out. We had a couple of rather serious problems at our wedding. DH and I do not go to church, so we ended up hiring one of those rent-a-ministers from a company. We met with him the week before the wedding and told him about our readings and musical selections. Then he ended up in the ER (nothing too serious, thankfully) the day of our wedding, and they scrambled to find someone else for us. The fill in guy came straight from the airport and they had lost his luggage or something, so he was in a light blue leisure-looking suit. He was incredibly nervous throughout the ceremony - sweating profusely, telling DH to put the wedding band on my right hand, cutting off my flautist when I told him to let her play, etc. We ended up getting completely reimbursed for the cost of having him; that's how bad he was.

Then we got to the reception and found out the dj's sound board was broken, so we had random music piped in through the intercom, but it was really horrible easy listening type music because of the sound system they had or something.

Anyway, even though it didn't work out as we planned, we were still married surrounded by our family and friends, we managed not to stress or freak out about it, and we had a wonderful time. Our 10th anniversary is this spring, and our wedding day was in no way nearly as important as the sum of the days of our marriage so far.

[jent]

Actually, I didn't like the way the flowers turned out.



But,






If you manage to marry the man you love on your wedding day, it was PERFECT :D

:yeahthat:

[Cam&Clay]

Yes, I voted that my weddings were wonderful, both of them, even though they were so very different and for very different reasons.

My first one was the perfect white poofy dress with a wonderful party. Turned out the groom wasn't all that great but we had a fabulous time.

The second time, I was 8 weeks pregnant and married my high school sweetheart in my best friend's parents' backyard with about 25 people there. It was the most beautiful, romantic, perfect wedding there ever was. Not a dry eye in the place.

[smiles33]

Just to be clear, I'm not regretting the dress issue (that extra $4000 went toward buying our first home). I said my wedding wasn't perfect because of other issues, like DH getting TRASHED because my "friend" snuck in a huge Costco sized bottle of whiskey to the wine-only reception and then ALL our friends insisted he drink shots. That part has nothing to do with money--that was just a friend I should NOT have invited but felt obligated to do so because he was in the same social circle. I am not as susceptible to social pressure 10 years later. Still, I do wish we had a destination wedding as then we wouldn't have had at least 100 of the obligatory guests we had to invite and who came because we stayed local. I'm still glad DH put his foot down and prohibited his mom from inviting all the relatives. His cousin had 1,000+ guests at her wedding and invited every relative known to the family!

I still voted that I'm ok with how it turned out because at least the ceremony was incredibly poignant and special. We only had immediate family, grandparents, and parents' siblings there so about 15 people versus almost 300!

[Globetrotter]

Mine was a disaster. Makes me want my kids to have small destination weddings away from rude relatives!

[Pyrodjm]

I had a small destination wedding. our immediate family and a few freinds attended, 12 people total. It was absolutely perfect. Every single thing went just the way we hoped, or better. Even my mom, the queen of big events and lover of all things showy says she couldn't imagine a better wedding for us.

[elektra]

Loved my destination wedding in Kauai. Would not change a thing. :)

[buddyleebaby]

They sent the one limo I had specifically said I did not want. Our photographer did a poor job. Our cake was just ok.
We ended up locked out of our apartment because one of my bridemaids was holding my keys for me...and went home with them. :ROTFLMAO:
I was running all over looking for a security guard...still in my dress.

Everything did NOT go the way I planned but we had a ton of fun anyway, and were surrounded by people we love. And I got the man of my dreams. :heartbeat:

[Globetrotter]

I always tell people the marriage is more important than the wedding.

[fumofu]

I got to plan our entire wedding, which DH paid for. So yes, our wedding was exactly how we planned.

We found a great non-members country club as our wedding site, in the city (with free parking!!) and close to my parents' house. We had our best friend from college be our marriage officiant, and we got to write our own ceremony. We cut all the stuff in the wedding that DH and I didn't want, and only included a cake cutting and first dance with a short thank-you speech from the two of us at the beginning of the reception. We both rented our wedding gown and tux. We had our dream wedding: something elegant but simple, and only included things we really cared for.

[Globetrotter]

I got to plan our entire wedding, which DH paid for. So yes, our wedding was exactly how we planned.


:heartbeat: It sounds like a lovely experience!

[Zukini]

Went to the courthouse on a Wednesday afternoon and took our vows! No parents, just a few siblings and close friends. Used all the $$$ saved to put a nice downpayment on a new house AND took 6 months off work just settling in as a new bride. Totally worth it! We've had some great memories since then with parents, family and friends even without a blowout special day.

I've always been the glammy wedding girl, but it's soooo different when you have to use your own money to have everyone come over for a single evening or perhaps weekend of our lives. That's just the cost$ (worse, debt if you don't have cash to put towards it). Plus you realize no matter what you do, how much you spend, and then try to accomodate everyone's desires - someone's just not happy. If you're simply marrying the person you love, that's really all you need - no matter how you do it :)

[MoJo]

A lot went wrong. . . we were up all night trying to iron table cloths for the reception, got to the wedding late, the music wouldn't play as I was walking down the aisle, my friends didn't decorate the gazebo (where we got married) anything like the picture DH had drawn for them. Then because we were late to the wedding, we still had to do pics afterwards, so we were late to the reception. . . only got one dance. . . and then my boss (who had offered to host the reception at her banquet facility if we paid for the food and staffing) said I was ungrateful and that our marriage would never last, just because she wasn't in the kitchen when I passed through to thank everyone.

In addition, DH quit his job the week before the wedding, his car broke down, and I had to go back to work and face that boss. Most of our friends moved out of state right after the wedding. And I felt like marriage changed the man I had loved so much before. The romance ended almost right away.

My dress was fine, my family and friends were great, the weather was perfect, and I did get some nice pictures.

We are still married (it will be 14 years in May), and I still love him, but it's been a very hard road.

I didn't vote, because "devastating" seems too strong a term but I can't really say I'm totally OK with it all either.

[hillview]

we paid for it and it was what we wanted. There were minor issues here and there but I remember it fondly and it was super fun. I wish I had video recorded it!!

[boogiemomz]

I loved my whole wedding weekend. Our rehearsal dinner is one of the best events I've ever been to, it was beautiful, casual but classy, heartfelt and genuine but not over-the-top sappy. Our wedding was lovely and the party was awesome, we still feel like weddings we attend rarely measure up to our own (and not just because it was our own ;)). The only thing I didn't love was my flowers--they weren't really what I asked for, I didn't adore my bouquet and the altar flowers and centerpieces were in colors I wasn't crazy about and didn't ask for. But no biggie. We had a great time.

[Melaine]

Yes, it went how I planned/expected. I was very down to earth with my plans and expectations though. I wanted it simple and easy and it was. I loved how my friends and family pitched in to help and so many people contributed to help us have a beautiful event that we could afford. It was really a blessing. I wish I could have enjoyed it more from a stress level perspective, but that was also to be expected.

[MommyofAmaya]

I'm in between. I'm not "OK" with it but I wasn't "devastated" either.
I was PO"ed (DH still is).

We had a destination wedding at a huge resort. The ceremony was absolutely perfect. Afterwards, we did some photos on the beach and instead of waiting in the palapa where I asked them too, my bridesmaids took off to who knows which hotel bar to do shots.... with my clutch, which had our room key. So instead of going back to the room to snuggle and freshen up before the reception scheduled for an hour later, DH and I were running around the resort in 100 degree temps in our wedding attire trying to find our room key. We gave up and trekked to the front desk all the way across the property to get a new one. At that point, we had no time to freshen up, so we arrived to the dinner sweaty and in a foul mood. By that time, the wedding party sure was in good "spirits" however. Despite all the beautiful things, when I think back to my wedding, that is the part that stand out.

ETA: I'm not into the whole ceremony of weddings. If it was up to me, DH and I would have done a destination beach wedding all by ourselves.
I do wish we would have, but our families of course did not agree with that idea.

[dogmom]

I put "other" because my motto is "The goal of the day is that you are married by the end of it." So I had very little expectations, which was good because many things happened that would have sent most brides into a tizzy. My DH lost my brother. My MIL showed her crazy streak and had me arranging flowers before my wedding when she was upstairs having her entourage get her ready. (gladiolas, btw, which I hate becauset hey make me think of funerals.) There was the large gold plaster Sphinx that showed up because my MIL thought it would be "good energy". My maid of honor dropped my husband's wedding ring down the toilet, luckily I had a sleeveless gown and had no problem retrieving it. My DH left the sun room open at the B&B so after we wen there for and hour we came back to 2 inches of rain in the car I had to sit in while going to his friends house. My DH insisted we go over his lame friends house to "party" afterward. We then watched movies, one I don't like, he felt stupid. And that's the stuff I remember/are aware of.

[GaPeach_in_Ca]

smiles33, I remember your wedding! You had beautiful pictures. :D

Our wedding day was perfect! We also think other weddings don't measure up. :p We had a smaller wedding (56 total) and we had fireworks at the end (benefit of getting married on 4th of July!) ... just lots of fun.

[smiles33]

smiles33, I remember your wedding! You had beautiful pictures. :D

Our wedding day was perfect! We also think other weddings don't measure up. :p We had a smaller wedding (56 total) and we had fireworks at the end (benefit of getting married on 4th of July!) ... just lots of fun.

LOL, from WC or CC? I can't remember how far back we go! ;)

[AnnieW625]

9 yrs. later I still have wonderful memories of my wedding. We had 130 people and I felt like it was too many and I felt like I never got to see everyone. It took me a couple of days to remember everything that happened. DH was out of work so that made it hard, but we still had a great time.I woukdn't have changed anything.

[SnuggleBuggles]

Little things weren't just right but it was a fantastic day and a wonderful wedding.

[megs4413]

Mine was devastating and I try not to remember it. In fact, the pictures are in a box in my closet. I don't even like thinking about it.

If I had it to do over again, I wouldn't.

[JoyNChrist]

Hahahahahahaha....no.

My BFF and maid of honor broke her ankle the day before so she couldn't be there. I lost my copy of our self-written vows and had to wing it. My hair was horrible and I redid it myself 20 minutes before the ceremony started (and since I'm not a hairdresser, that means it was basically in a ponytail). A freak rainstorm showed up 20 minutes into our OUTDOOR reception, accompanied by a wind that was so strong it blew the cake table over.

Luckily I wasn't really into the whole bridal thing, and I laughed about it then and still laugh about it now, almost six years later. And there was one bright spot (besides marrying DH, of course) - DH's grandfather was in the hospital so he and DH's grandmother couldn't be at the wedding. Since we left the reception early because of the rain, we surprised them at the hospital in the dress, tux, the works and brought a ton of reception food with us for them and the hospital staff. They and the nurses and doctors really enjoyed that. :)

[anamika]

We had the traditional Indian wedding - a 3 day ceremony (I can see the Americans squirming at the thought).
It was fantastic - I enjoyed myself so much. Great food (Indian wedding food is the best!), great music, great company (we sent out around 600 invitations).
My parents paid for it and I think it cost much less than a regular American wedding. We could have paid for it but my parents would have been disappointed.
I was in the US - went home 2 weeks before. Bought my wedding saris (yes, plural -more than 6 - forget the exact number), matching bangles and bindies. My mom, the ultimate event planner, had several florists, caterers etc lined up. All I had to do was point and say which one I liked!!
Sadly, we haven't been able to go back to a single Indian wedding after that. We even missed DH's sister's wedding since we were in visa limbo then.

[Liziz]

Yes, mine was wonderful. I tried to be very low key and "whatever happens will be great as long as we're married at the end" about it, and it made for a lovely day. I wouldn't change a thing!

[sntm]

My wedding was probably the highlight of my marriage!!! That and DS made it worthwhile.

[TxCat]

It was a lovely day and a fun party. Some stuff went right, and some stuff went wrong, but it was a great way to kick-off a wonderful marriage...

Weddings are neat and I love me a great dress, but they have little to do with marriage, IMHO.

:yeahthat:

The flowers didn't turn out exactly how I had asked/planned (my bouquet especially was terrible - I really dislike all the picture with the bouquet in them), I wish we had chosen another band, and the most painful thing was having to "out" one of my bridesmaids a month before to her family for her alcohol and prescription pill addiction. And my sister didn't come, which will always make me a little sad. But, overall I look back on it fondly and with good memories, and marriage has been better than anything I could have imagined. I did really love my dress though. :)

[lizzywednesday]

Yes, my wedding day was exactly what I'd hoped it would be - fun, reflective of DH and I and a great party to kick off our married life.

There are things DH feels he'd have done differently (like not spend a lot of $$ on flowers - honestly, we bought bouquets for my attendants, our "groomsmaid" & I, boutonnieres for DH, his groomsmen, our dads, my grandfather and my step-father, corsages for our moms and grandmothers, a "kissing ball" style bouquet for our flower girl ... and 3 small barrel cacti in silver buckets for each table as our centerpieces; 5 years later, we still have two of ours as do some of our guests) but, ultimately, the day turned out how we'd planned.

Of course, I didn't do a ton of planning beyond getting myself to the church on time, so maybe I don't have the best perspective.

[vludmilla]

My wedding was very nice but I can't really compare it to any hopes or dreams about it. I NEVER dreamed or fantasized about getting married. When I was engaged, I couldn't be bothered to pay too much attention to wedding planning as I was a grad student (for a master's degree). My mom and other family members had to keep me on task (with wedding stuff) and some things didn't get accomplished until the last minute. I think I would have been just as happy to elope with DH somewhere lovely, maybe happier even. My mom was the one who wanted the big wedding day, not me.

[niccig]

Yes, we did a destination wedding in Maui, and it was all low key and lots of fun. MIL called when DH told her our plans, as she wanted to check that I really didn't want the big hoopla wedding. I didn't. We paid for it ourselves so did what we wanted.

The only thing I would do again is to organize transportation for people - DH and I had to make so many trips from airport to where we were staying - of course everyone was flying in/out on different days/times. If we did it again, I would have told family/friends they were on their own for figuring out transport or paid for a shuttle for people.

[fumofu]

:heartbeat: It sounds like a lovely experience!

Thanks, Globetrotter. Recently, DS really likes to pull out our wedding albums and point at people he recognizes. Brings back such fond memories.

[anonomom]

By and large, our wedding was great. There are things I would change in retrospect (things like buying the flowers from the grocery store), but for the most part we and our guests had a blast.

Except...my mom. She could not stand a day that wasn't about her, so she (and as a consequence my dad and brother) showed up 90 minutes late. I spent that 90 minutes in the un-airconditioned vestibule of the chapel where we got married (in DC in August), not knowing when she'd show and without any way to contact her to see what was going on. At that point, I was still so invested in keeping my mom happy that we actually delayed the wedding until she finally showed up (no excuses, no apology).

She also spent the entire reception nagging me to get up and sing a song "because it would make [my] father happy." She never did get over the fact that I never became the Broadway star she'd wanted, despite the fact that I quit performing when I was 7 years old.

So, yeah. Almost 13 years later, and she's not even alive anymore. And I'm still not over it.

[carolinamama]

I was a pretty laid-back bride. We had a GREAT day - so much fun at our reception and I think the service went the way we wanted it. Of course there were glitches, but overall it was very fun.

[maestramommy]

We're approaching our 10th anniversary too. I think looking back there was only one thing I would've done differently, and that was choose a different church. The church we worked with operates on a different cultural plane than I'm used to, and the misunderstanding we had led to a very ugly phone conversation 2 weeks after the wedding. Basically, they never told us what the fee was, said it was supposed to be a freewill offering, then threw a huge fit afterwards because they considered what we paid them way too low. Even though we paid them what we thought was a fair honorarium, comparing with other churches in the area and what their set fee was. Ugh.

Otherwise the wedding went pretty much as planned. My biggest thing was the music. 4 of my students were playing, my coworker was singing, and I had every song planned, down to the bridal procession. And I'm amazed that it went off without a hitch. Actually, maybe it wasn't that amazing, considering how much time I spent rehearsing my students:hysterical:

We kept the wedding as simple as possible, considering we had about 200+ guests. I was adamant about not having the traditional Chinese banquet that went on and on all night. We had a morning wedding, and a lunch buffet at the church. Our bridal party kicked us out at 2pm:tongue5:

One awesome thing about our wedding was our photographer. She did the photojournalistic style, when it was just starting to get trendy. We only ended up printing a few of the shots, but as part of the package she gave us two albums of the best shots. One of the wedding, one for the reception. My kids love to look through those albums. *I* still love looking through those albums, remembering the emotions of that day.

[ZeeBaby]

Our wedding day was amazing. It turned into a huge party , which is what I love. Great food great music. I was very blessed.

[american_mama]

I voted Other because my strongest sentiment from my wedding, at least the reception, was minor disappointment that it wasn't living up to the all the hype. I enjoyed my wedding and nothing went wrong or was terribly disappointing, but it wasn't the best day of my life either, not even the best party or best meal. But everything was good.

[niccig]

I voted Other because my strongest sentiment from my wedding, at least the reception, was minor disappointment that it wasn't living up to the all the hype. I enjoyed my wedding and nothing went wrong or was terribly disappointing, but it wasn't the best day of my life either, not even the best party or best meal. But everything was good.

I think the hype is what makes many brides not enjoy the day. They're expecting some amazing day, one that they will never have again, and I don't think ANY wedding can amount to all that is expected.

I'm really glad we had the "it's an important day,but not the most important" attitude. I didn't even get upset when couldn't find flowers I liked at the florist day before the wedding. We were in Maui and my sister suggested a lei like we had seen at Safeway. So, that's what we did. I carried a lei wrapped around my hands that I bought at Safeway.

[redstone]

Before we got married my husband and I were part-time wedding videographers. I don't even know how many weddings we've attended over the years! We've seen and taped it all from lavish country club affairs to simple ceremonies at the fire hall. Oh the stories we could tell.

When it came to our own wedding I wanted a ceremony to share with friends and family. But neither of us were interested in anything big. We got married on a Friday evening. Then had a simple catered dessert reception right at the church. Over and done in about three hours. lol

I don't regret keeping it simple. I do wish we had more money to really jazz up the desserts. We had a piano player and looking back I also wish we danced one song together.

Many people came up to us later saying how much they enjoyed our wedding. I think they just enjoyed not having to give up an entire Saturday to go to our wedding!

A PP mentioned their 3-day Indian wedding. I have taped several Indian weddings and by far they are my favorite! They are always such a lavish, joyous occasions with so much dancing and fabulous food.