How much would you pay? (Clarification added in OP that *may* change responses)

[erosenst]

(This got kinda long - sorry.)

DD usually goes to aftercare at school. Pickup is by 6p, and DH usually does it. If he's traveling, I do - but I need to leave work by 5 at the very latest (in case there's traffic) and not only have I been swamped - but we're on EST working for a company with headquarters on PST - so meetings often run past 5p.

I have a somewhat flexible schedule, so doing the occasional pickup isn't an issue. However, DH is gone a lot of this month and early April - and I'm swamped at work. (Lots going on - and two openings on my 5 person team, including my 'second'.) When I realized how much DH was going to be gone, I stressed about all the pickups and extra 'stuff' I would have to do. Some was easy to solve. As an example, our (professional) dog sitter we use when we go on vacation could pick dogs up at groomer. (5:00 close)

Not only did I not want the 'race' to pick DD up - but wanted *her* not to be the last one there so many times, and then have to pretty much rush home for dinner, wind down and bed. Sent an email to 10? miscellaneous people around here seeing if anyone knew a responsible high school/college kid, or SAHM, who would pick her up at 5 and be here til 6-6:30 when I get home. To shorten the story, a friend down the street said she would like to do it. They have a daughter the same age as DD, and two older kids. My DD and hers get along well/play frequently. It's perfect.

The only issue is how much to pay. While we've helped each other out occasionally, this is more...'formal' - and while I still wouldn't take pay for doing this once or twice a week over a few weeks, I (strongly) think she would. I have NO idea what to pay.

If this were a 'real' sitter, I'd pay $10 an hour. Seems like a lot in this case, as DD is 8, and my DD and hers play independently - with maybe a check in once an hour, and maybe some help getting snack/supervising homework. OTOH - it helps me a LOT, won't be that many hours, and I get the feeling would make a difference to her.

So - your thoughts?

Clarification: - DD is going to their house - the mom isn't coming here. Does that change anything? (Not sure it does - but was surprised how many people chose $10 (which I still think is prob the answer - just expected more distribution.))

Clarification 2 (and reminder to not post while sick... :) ) - DD will be taking the bus, with her DD, to this house at 3p, rather than being picked up at 5p. Therefore, $10/hour would be $30-35/time.

[katall]

I would pay the 10 dollars per hour because she is a real sitter.

[jgenie]

I would offer her the $10 per hour. If it were me I would want to make it especially attractive so she will want to do it otherwise she may decide it's not worht her time to be tied to her house. GL!!

[hillview]

I'd offer her 10 and see what she says. To be fair you have a perfect set up (responsible adult in a setting your child will be comfortable).

eta: saw your update & it doesn't change my answer :)
/hillary

[sntm]

The biggest issue is the reliability. She's gong to be interrupting dinner prep time, etc. You want to make sure it stays worthwhile for her.

FWIW, I did the same thing with a SAHM, who charged $15 an hour and would sometimes have several kids over, and DS usually was independently playing with her slightly younger son. I switched to a college student (same price) at my house because the SAHM was constantly unable to do it because of other obligations (her kids' swim/tennis/whatever lessons).

[erosenst]

Thanks. Not sure it matters - but part of the agreement is that either DD would accompany the mom to run kids around, or stay home with one of the girls and their older brother (14) for 15-30 minutes while the other is dropped off somewhere. So she's not tied to the house.

(I actually don't think it matters - but may to some.)


To be fair you have a perfect set up (responsible adult in a setting your child will be comfortable). Totally agree! As an added bonus, I don't have to add time to go pick her up somewhere - and if I need 15 min at home to get something done without interruption, it's close enough that I could call, say I'm home, and she'd walk down the street by herself.

[Globetrotter]

To be fair you have a perfect set up (responsible adult in a setting your child will be comfortable).


:yeahthat:

I would LOVE that set-up! Pay her what you would pay a regular sitter, to make it worth her while.

[carolinamama]

:yeahthat:

I would LOVE that set-up! Pay her what you would pay a regular sitter, to make it worth her while.

:yeahthat:

[ha98ed14]

Even WITH the update, I'd still pay $10 because you don't want it to feel like she is doing you a favor. Say you paid less that the going rate: Would stress you out just as much knowing that your DD is "cutting into their family time" as much as it would stress you out knowing DD will be the last one to be picked up from daycare? I would feel the same stress level, especially if this person was a friend/neighbor that I may want to use again for this role. If that is the case, pay her what you'd pay a "real babysitter", so you don't have any feelings of "owing her something." THAT would stress me out even more... JMO.

[SnuggleBuggles]

I'd ask her.

[spunkybaby]

I would pay $10/time as opposed to $10/hr (which would become $15 if you pick up your DD at 6:30).

I think if you offer less than that, it looks weird since your initial e-mail was looking for a college student or SAHM, and you didn't specify that you would pay less if it was a SAHM. She may have agreed to do it because she would like a little extra $$.

I'm thinking $10/time instead of $10/hr because occasionally, she's leaving your DD with her DD and her older 14yo son, so it doesn't seem as formal as someone specifically watching your DD like a hawk for 1-1.5 hrs.

[o_mom]

I would pay $10/time as opposed to $10/hr (which would become $15 if you pick up your DD at 6:30).

I think if you offer less than that, it looks weird since your initial e-mail was looking for a college student or SAHM, and you didn't specify that you would pay less if it was a SAHM. She may have agreed to do it because she would like a little extra $$.

I'm thinking $10/time instead of $10/hr because occasionally, she's leaving your DD with her DD and her older 14yo son, so it doesn't seem as formal as someone specifically watching your DD like a hawk for 1-1.5 hrs.

:yeahthat:

Unless you were always planning on 6:30, I would go with $10/day. If she is picking up at 5, some days it would be an hour, some days 1.5. If you were later than 6:30 one night or right at 6:30 2x/wk, I would pay $30 for the week, but other wise for 2-2.5 hrs, I would go with $20/wk.

[erosenst]

I'm sick (bad cough/bronchitis) - which obviously is effecting me - even after the clarification, I didn't list all the details. :banghead:


I would pay $10/time as opposed to $10/hr (which would become $15 if you pick up your DD at 6:30).

I think if you offer less than that, it looks weird since your initial e-mail was looking for a college student or SAHM, and you didn't specify that you would pay less if it was a SAHM. She may have agreed to do it because she would like a little extra $$.

I'm thinking $10/time instead of $10/hr because occasionally, she's leaving your DD with her DD and her older 14yo son, so it doesn't seem as formal as someone specifically watching your DD like a hawk for 1-1.5 hrs.

Not only is at the friend's house, but DD is taking the bus from school (with her two DD"s) to her house, arriving just before 3p. So instead of $10-$15, it would be $30-$35 each time.

[o_mom]

Not only is at the friend's house, but DD is taking the bus from school (with her two DD"s) to her house, arriving just before 3p. So instead of $10-$15, it would be $30-$35 each time.


Hmm... that's a bit longer.... maybe offer $20/day?

[egoldber]

I think $10 an hour is a fair price for what you are asking her to do.

[erosenst]

I'd ask her.

I would - but she's much more reserved than I am in general. Also, their 'money issues' have come up a few times and I think she's somewhat embarrassed. (I also think her husband may be the controlling-with-money-because-I-WOTH-and-you-don't kind - and this would give her a little more spending money - but that's a thread for another time.)

[TwinFoxes]

I think $10 an hour is a fair price for what you are asking her to do.

:yeahthat: That's a long time to have an additional kid at your house.

[erosenst]

:yeahthat: That's a long time to have an additional kid at your house. Agreed.

[cntrymoon2]

Hmm... that's a bit longer.... maybe offer $20/day?

$20 is my thought, too. I think $30-35 is high. I'd ask her, because you want to be sure she is comfortable with it. You could bring up $20 per day (or whatever figure) and tell her to think it over and get back to you.

[spunkybaby]

Originally, I thought your DD was still going to afterschool care and that your friend would be picking her up early-ish (5 pm) from afterschool care and then watching your DD until you come home.

Does this mean that you are pulling your DD out of afterschool care entirely? Would your DD be watched by this mom every afternoon? In that case, I do think you are asking a lot of her, and you should pay her almost as you would a regular babysitter, with the caveat that I would still pay $30/time instead of going strictly by the hour. Even though your DD and her DD get along well, this means it will be hard for the mom to arrange playmates with other children for her DD, and the two girls may get tired of each other after seeing each other every day even though they play well now, so the mom may have to intervene more.

How much would you be saving by pulling your DD out of afterschool care?

[erosenst]

Originally, I thought your DD was still going to afterschool care and that your friend would be picking her up early-ish (5 pm) from afterschool care and then watching your DD until you come home.

Does this mean that you are pulling your DD out of afterschool care entirely? Would your DD be watched by this mom every afternoon? In that case, I do think you are asking a lot of her, and you should pay her almost as you would a regular babysitter, with the caveat that I would still pay $30/time instead of going strictly by the hour. Even though your DD and her DD get along well, this means it will be hard for the mom to arrange playmates with other children for her DD, and the two girls may get tired of each other after seeing each other every day even though they play well now, so the mom may have to intervene more.

How much would you be saving by pulling your DD out of afterschool care?
__________________

Yeah - sorry. My original thought was to have her picked up at 5-ish; however, this mom offered to do it, but preferred DD to just come home on the bus after school (3p) rather than pick up at 5p.

It's not every day - it's 'as needed/as works for everyone'. Last week it was one day; next week one day at most. Week after *may* be none; then we're on spring break. Week after spring break will likely be 1-2. That *should* be the end of DH's more-frequent-than-usual travel.

Not saving anything on aftercare as we pay by the month. If we knew for sure that DD would be going to the mom's house every Thursday, or whatever, could pay for 4 day a week aftercare - but don't know that. The 'discount' of paying five days a week for a full month probably puts us very close to even of 4 days a week at aftercare. Given DH's travel schedule and my varying work obligations, it's not the same day every week, so pretty sure we have to pay for 5 days a week anyway.

[spunkybaby]

Hmm...I can see why she would rather have your DD come home on the bus instead of having to go pick her up at 5 pm, but in that case, the lengthier time is actually more for the SAHM's convenience, rather than at your request.

Since that's the case, I think I would move more towards $20-$25 each time, depending on how generous you want to be.

[ECMom]

I'd offer her $20/day & she what she says.

[blisstwins]

Since this is an occasional expense that could really make your life easier, I would make it very worth her while. I would pay $30 a day and I would be very thankful. You might need her in the future. She is helping a lot, so it should be worth it to her.

[egoldber]

:yeahthat:

[Momit]

If the going rate for a teenage babysitter in your area is $10/hour, I would not pay significantly less to an experienced mom who is hosting your DD in her home.

PP's suggestions of a flat $25-$30 per day is a good compromise, since the 3-5 time is at the mom's request rather than what you asked for.

[anamika]

Since this is an occasional expense that could really make your life easier, I would make it very worth her while. I would pay $30 a day and I would be very thankful. You might need her in the future. She is helping a lot, so it should be worth it to her.


:yeahthat: I would love to have this kind of situation. I need someone to pick up my daughter one day a week for the next 4-5 weeks and I am calling in all the favors I can because I cannot find anyone to do it.

[wellyes]

Since this is an occasional expense that could really make your life easier, I would make it very worth her while. I would pay $30 a day and I would be very thankful. You might need her in the future. She is helping a lot, so it should be worth it to her.
Yes, this is not the time to nickel & dime. She's essentially part-time nannying, and $10/hour is a bargain.

I would offer a weekly rate vs hourly, for simplicity's sake. Plus it feels more "here is a steady income you can count on" since you said it would make a difference to her.

[erosenst]

Thanks - I'm not disagreeing at ALL with the 'making it worth her while'/don't nickel and dime.

Just don't want her to feel 'embarrassed'? by what I'm offering - but feel much better since so many agree $10 an hour is the right amount.

[egoldber]

Well, when I looked into finding an afternoon nanny to do pretty much exactly this (meet older DD's bus and hang out with her after school), the going rate was $12-$15 an hour. But that will depend on the COL where you are. This was mainly for college students. My neighbor has a college student who she uses on occasion exactly for your scenario and she pays $15 an hour.

[georgiegirl]

I'd say $20-25 per day.

[elbenn]

I'd say $20-25 per day.

I think this amount also.

[o_mom]

If the going rate for a teenage babysitter in your area is $10/hour, I would not pay significantly less to an experienced mom who is hosting your DD in her home.

PP's suggestions of a flat $25-$30 per day is a good compromise, since the 3-5 time is at the mom's request rather than what you asked for.

Well... I pay $10/hr for a teenage sitter, but that is for three kids 8 and under and they come to my house. For one 8 yo at her house (so the mom can stay home and do whatever she was going to anyway), $10/hr is really about the max in this market (I live in the same town as the OP - this is not a high COL area).

I also don't think $20/day if it was on a regular basis would be too little here, especially if it were multiple times per week. OTOH, since it sounds like it is just once a week, $30/day would be a good compromise even if it doesn't end up being $10/hr (if she stayed 3.5 hrs, for example).

[erosenst]

Well, when I looked into finding an afternoon nanny to do pretty much exactly this (meet older DD's bus and hang out with her after school), the going rate was $12-$15 an hour. But that will depend on the COL where you are. This was mainly for college students. My neighbor has a college student who she uses on occasion exactly for your scenario and she pays $15 an hour. Right - but that's at your home. I would definitely pay full rate (actually, plus travel time) if at my house.


For one 8 yo at her house (so the mom can stay home and do whatever she was going to anyway), $10/hr is really about the max in this market (I live in the same town as the OP - this is not a high COL area). This is where I struggled. And as O Mom points out, I pay very well for one kid, even at our house - $10 is the top of the market.

But as others have (rightly) pointed out, this is a *huge* convenience for me - and while the $10 difference between $20 and $30 a day won't make a big difference to me, it may to her.

[spunkybaby]

If the difference between $20 and $30 is not significant to you, then I would pay $30, but I would clarify with your friend that you plan to pick up your DD at 6:30, and then mention that occasionally you may be able to pick up your DD a little earlier.

So I would offer $30 for the 3 - 6:30 pm time period.

I would make this clarification because it would be less stressful for me personally to try to make a 6:30 pm pickup, rather than a 6 pm pickup after work, and psychologically, I would feel better knowing that 6:30 was the prearranged pickup time. Much better to occasionally pick up my DD a little early than to feel stressed that I am always picking her up a little late. In the latter case, I would feel guilty and apologetic to my friend.

ETA: To me, having this extra cushion of time without any accompanying guilt would be worth paying the top-of-the-market rate.

ETA2: I still don't think it's necessary to pay a strict $10/hr rate because some of the situation (extra hours) is for the mom's convenience, and it's very different to have an extra 8yo friend of your DD at your house 1-2x a week than a younger child who requires more supervision, having to travel to someone else's house, or having to readjust your schedule (in OP's case, her DD will just be tagging along with the family's activities/errands--still not easy, but not that bad).

[AnnieW625]

I voted $1 to $5 an hour, and would probably offer $5/hr. I also waffled with just keeping her at the school's daycare too. I personally think paying $10 an hour is way too much since I really think that all will be going on from 3 to 5 or six would be an extended playdate thing with the daughter. Now if it were guaranteed that your DD will have already ate dinner, and had her homework done before you get there then I might consider $10 an hour, but for a playdate and the fact that the bus is taking the girl's home and your dd isn't going to any lessons where she needs to be dropped off I think $5 an hour is just fine.

Before settling on a fee ask these questions:
1. will my child be doing homework?
2. will my child have a snack or full meal?

and honestly I think if you ask her what she charges I'd be really floored if she said $10 an hour ESP. if she does not have past or current experience as a nanny. I might understand more if she were a current nanny and she was just trying to add extra hours. Even in my hcol area I have never heard of a SAHM charging $10 an hour to watch kids after school.

[erosenst]

So I would offer $30 for the 3 - 6:30 pm time period.Arrangement is flexible - "somewhere between 6 and 6:30" - although I know that they usually eat dinner around 6:30 so I try to be earlier.


Before settling on a fee ask these questions:
1. will my child be doing homework?
2. will my child have a snack or full meal?

She will be doing homework, although most days it's only 5-10 minutes (a few math problems). The mom's daughters will have more most days. She will have a snack, but will not have had dinner, when I pick her up.

[kristenk]

I think I'd offer $25 per day. Sending your DD right after school is more her choice, than yours, even though she's doing a big favor for you. I think a flat fee seems reasonable.

[heatherlynn]

Since this is an occasional expense that could really make your life easier, I would make it very worth her while. I would pay $30 a day and I would be very thankful. You might need her in the future. She is helping a lot, so it should be worth it to her.

:yeahthat:

[elektra]

I think I would offer $20 per day, if your DD is taking the bus, going over to their house, and just playing with their DD. this could cover snacks too.