How to keep a clutter free home post kiddos?

[Ssleenyc]

We are pregnant with our first. Very excited but my biggest fear? That my dream home which I have spent the last 2 years decorating very minimalist and modern is going to be taken over by clutter and crap. Nearly every home I have visited that has young children in it has crap all over the place. Ou walk in the house and it looks like a garage sale. How do I avoid this? I really want to buy only the necessities not a whole buch of extra crap to take up space. Anyone have recommendations on how to keep the house looking nice one this little comes? It was our house first!

[hillview]

Buy nothing or very very little. Purge as you go. When you do buy things make sure they are absolutely necessary and will have along play time in the house. Borrow if you can (so you can return it).

[SnuggleBuggles]

Have a room that you can loosen up a bit with. You chose to have kids and things may not be aesthetically pleasing everywhere anymOre. Kids will need somewhere they feel comfortable in. We did pretty well keeping stuff contained for a lOng time. The baby stage is easiest by far.

[WatchingThemGrow]

Just want to check - since you posted in the BP...are you asking or just sounding off? I definitely know what you're saying....but my guess is that once you're sleep-deprived, exhausted, totally in love with your new baby, and wanting a place to put your baby down so they're happy, you'll be racing to the store to grab a whatever-it-is to keep your baby quiet so you can make a sandwich and stuff it in your mouth.

I think part of our clutter problem has been gifts. If it were *just* the stuff we purchased because we wanted or needed it, we wouldn't have near as much clutter. But grandparents and others will kindly give your child items that you don't have room for but that the child loves.

The single biggest thing we have done to improve the feel of our small home is to get a huge Ikea Expedit and organizing bins, baskets, etc. and label where everything goes. WORLD of difference.

[ellies mom]

Having a playroom can help. The big toys such as the play kitchen, train table or general storage can stay in there. And then having a large decorative tote/basket or two in the main part of the house to toss the odd toy or book into can help keep things less cluttery. I usually toss things into the tote for a few days then bring it upstairs to put away and repeat the process. But really watching what you bring into the house is key. And paying attention to what stays in the house is also important. Don't feel obligated to keep every toy that your child is given. Consider if having to find a place to store something between kids is worth the price of replacing it later, especially considering the second child might not be interested anyways.

[niccig]

Anyone have recommendations on how to keep the house looking nice one this little comes? It was our house first!

Don't have kids - that's my flippant answer :p

It's going to be their house too and yes that means they'll have their stuff. I loved our nursery and planned what DS's room would look like when he moved to a bed. He's 7 years old now, and he wanted to put up posters of his favourite things eg. soccer, transformers and some star wars mixed in. Not my style, but it's HIS bedroom. I'm not going to say "No, your star wars poster offends my aesthetic sensibilities". He can have it in his room, just not the rest of the house. The family room has toys, as it's the main space DS plays in, but the living room is toy free. So you'll need to give them space for their things, but you can keep adult space as well.

I love our IKEA Expedit as well. The container store sweater boxes fit it nicely and everything gets picked up. Yes, you can still see that a child lives in this house, but it's not all over the place. Regular purging of things not played with, or a good storage system where you can rotate toys will help too.

But mostly, just relax and enjoy your child and don't worry about the house - it will get messy and cluttered at times. I found it was easier to stay on top of that once DS was a toddler. I was pretty sleep deprived the first 18 months, so really didn't care about coming up with a system to organize the toys. Sleep was my top priority.

[sntm]

You can find some really attractive kids accessories and toys though. You'll pay more, but don't assume you have to have plastic crap with Elmo all over it to keep your baby amused. And anything you don't like can be corralled in stylish storage containers. You can get bouncers that look like the Eames designed them, simple wooden toys, etc. If you PM me an email address, I'll send you my baby registry which has a lot of stuff like that.

My house is the same - very modern, minimalist. DS' room is a little fussier and more kid-friendly, but definitely still not the overstuffed Pottery Barn toy-explosion I see a lot (not that it's a bad thing, just not my style!)

[BabyBearsMom]

I'm sorry, I'm 38.5 weeks preggo and super testy lately so I deleted my response.

[deborah_r]

It was our house first!

I have typed a few different things in response to this...but I have been around here awhile and don't feel like being banned. I'll just say...Good luck!

[twowhat?]

Your priorities will change, and if they don't you probably need to do something about it:)

DH hates kid clutter. I tell him if he hates it, stop buying them toys. But he keeps wanting to buy them toys and then complains of not having his own adult space. You simply can't have it both ways unless you have a big house with a room where you intend to quarantine your kids for all of their waking hours.

Things that help:

Dedicated playroom
Dedicated toy storage (like IKEA expedit)
Limit toy-buying

But honestly, even with a dedicated playroom, your children are going to want to be near you. And as long as you buy them stuff, that stuff is going to end up scattered around the house. And let me tell you now: NOT buying cute toys, clothes, etc is very hard to do once you have a precious bundle of joy:)

[mjs64]

PPs have great advice. The one (I think Nicci) who said the first 18 months are really hard is right on. DS is 14 months and I've just now begun to tackle the accumulated clutter. Part of the difficulty is that they outgrow things--clothes, obviously, but also supplies, gear, and toys--so quickly and need new age appropriate stuff too. I think it slows down a bit but can't imagine it will ever stop. I read a good suggestion from another thread about having a purge bin in a closet for dumping outgrown clothes until it's time to donate/sell.

And yes, labeled bins in an attractive storage system are a must. It's necessary for us to have those systems not only in DS's room but also in the family room, as, as PPs say, kids like to play around you. So having places for things where they actually get used is important. My house is looking great. Not like it did before DS, sure, but we've all changed.

So storage bins and a bit of letting go. I think I hear a bit of anxiety in your post which, by the way, is completely understandable. It's going to be a huge change. You'll do your best and ind a different kind of happiness, I bet. Congrats.

[AshleyAnn]

You dont - you adjust your priorities.

[mctlaw]

First off, welcome to the boards! I see this is your first post. There's nothing wrong with trying to maintain your home's style once baby comes and I think sntm had some nice ideas for you as well as the posters who suggested storage systems like the Expedit.

I do think it's a little unreasonable to attempt to have a home like Architectural Digest once baby comes...yes it was your home first, but now your opting to make it baby's home too, right? Priorities really do shift once you bring the little one home. It may be hard to picture until it happens to you though! Congrats on your baby's impending birth! :)

[sweet_pea]

I think it would be pretty hard to keep your house entirely clutter-free with a child, but one thing I think helps is to to try to have the clutter blend in more with the rest of the furniture. If I have a choice, I'll pick out items that are more neutral in color and simple in style. For example, DD's play kitchen is in our living room, but it's the one from Ikea (http://www.ikea.com/us/en/catalog/products/S49874533/) and doesn't stand out as much as a plastic one would, or one that is red or pink. Right now I'm looking for a booster seat for her to use at the table and am thinking of getting this one in brown (http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B002TUTQMM/ref=ox_sc_act_title_2?ie=UTF8&m=ATVPDKIKX0DER) or this one in taupe (http://www.amazon.com/Seedling-Youth-Booster-Seat-Taupe/dp/B0067GKHHM/ref=sr_1_1?s=baby-products&ie=UTF8&qid=1333916943&sr=1-1) because they won't be as noticeable in my kitchen.

So I'd say you could pick out a highchair, swing, and other gear in more subdued colors, or colors that go with your current home decor, because you're going to be using these things daily. Fisher Price has a line of baby gear (Zen collection, I think) that comes in earthy colors and has wooden accents. If you look around you'll be able to find gear and toys with very pleasing aesthetics.

But in the end, I'm sure you'll end up with some things or toys that don't match your decor, take up space, and scream "baby gear! toy!" but if they function well or keep your child occupied you'll learn to live with them.

[niccig]

You dont - you adjust your priorities.

Best advice from my MIL - she told me she wished she had played more with her kids when they were young and cleaned the house less.

[sntm]

Here's the bouncer I was thinking of (we had one lent to us so it's harder to justify the cost even though it is gorgeous!):
http://www.amazon.com/Bloom-Stylewood-Lounger-Cappuccino-Coconut/dp/B000U5HKNK/ref=br_it_dp_o?ie=UTF8&coliid=I8XUNZNCI4EXS&colid=3LDHT9MQI0LKB#productPromotions
Look for Waldorf-inspired toys which are often simple, graphic, and natural colored wood. I have a local shop www.tottini.com that carries a lot of toys and accessories that will match a modern, minimalist house.

I have Ikea storage in the nursery but in the family room, I have these exotic woven rattan storage chests that keep all the toy clutter hidden away. It is very easy to dump everything into those (and doesn't mean I'm sacrificing time with my kid(s) - trust me, I'm NOT a good housekeeper)

Seriously, I hope you don't feel beat up on. It's simply not accurate to say that you have to give up everything that makes you who you are just because you become a parent. I'm personally excited to get back into my 4 inch heels and the new McQ by Alexander McQueen skirt I bought as soon as I recover from the baby's birth! And I feel totally vindicated about my Noguchi table splurge because it has rounded edges ;)

Some things will change naturally, but you can be a great mom without getting swallowed up in the mom-jeans aesthetic. You CAN raise well-adjusted and loved kids in a beautiful home, and honestly I think it is easier because it keeps you from buying a bunch of crap they don't need. (Check out the book Trees Make the Best Mobiles). I don't think you are intending to have a Cameron-style house from Ferris Beuler!

[Uno-Mom]

Your priorities will change, or you'll be miserable. Honestly.

ON the other hand...
It is possible to choose what toys come into your house. It really is. Our decorating style is more eclectic and funky so it's more forgiving, of course. I have managed to be selective about things. If I can't stand to look at it...it's not here.

Here are a few things I don't mind and they are all in my living room: a modern, wood Ikea play kitchen. Legos and magnatiles. A basket of stuffed animals. A basket of books that slides under the coffee table.

Here are a few things I have forbidden: Plastic play kitchen. pink shopping cart. Most garish plastic stuff. Any toys (other than the Mozart Cube) that make noise or flash.

My daughter is 2.5. Dh and I are playful people and we enjoy having high-quality, attractive toys in our living space. I think we have struck a good balance so far and we'll see how things progress.

[123LuckyMom]

The problem is gifts! My mother insists on buying DS huge plastic crap that he falls instantly in love with so that I cannot give it away. Without a play room there is nowhere to hide huge plastic crap. Most of our toys are stored nicely. Then there's a corner of our living room dedicated to the HPC. It makes me crazy every time I look at it. The baby stuff is temporary, and you will want to have every possible tool you can find to enable you to put the baby down so you can eat or pee. That stuff goes away, but the HPC can last forever, so sever all your relationships now so that nobody will ever buy your child a gift! :)

[KrisM]

Another thing to consider is how many kids you'll have. With only one, you can get rid of things faster as they grow out of that stage. With more than one, you'll have multiple stages at once and therefore more stuff. Right now, we have preschool toys (trains, Imaginext, etc), girl stuff (dolls, Polly Pockets), and elementary age stuff (DS games, board games). We purge as wel go, but things like trains have been here for 6 years now and have never really been put away. If it were only DS1, they'd have left about 2-3 years ago.

[fortato]

I have typed a few different things in response to this...but I have been around here awhile and don't feel like being banned. I'll just say...Good luck!

Let me take care of that for you...

Are you kidding??? Your house first?? Is that how you're going to begin your life as a mother?? That your house is yours and not your whole family's??? That's really sad.

Children are messy and they come bearing clutter...diapers, wipes, creams, bibs, clothes, burp cloths... toys, equipment, strollers....
If you were really a minimalist, you wouldn't have gotten pregnant. Embrace the clutter and enjoy being a mother... screw it... Your baby is only a baby for a little while. You'll have plenty of time to minimalize and clean after they go off to college- which happens a lot faster than you think.

[MissyAg94]

After tripping over some small shoes and several Littlest Pet Shop animals this afternoon, I thought about how much I will miss DD's mess someday. I won't let myself complain about her "clutter." My house will be perfect again when my she grows up and moves away. And then I'll wish she was little again.

[AshleyAnn]

Let me take care of that for you...

Are you kidding??? Your house first?? Is that how you're going to begin your life as a mother?? That your house is yours and not your whole family's??? That's really sad.

Children are messy and they come bearing clutter...diapers, wipes, creams, bibs, clothes, burp cloths... toys, equipment, strollers....
If you were really a minimalist, you wouldn't have gotten pregnant. Embrace the clutter and enjoy being a mother... screw it... Your baby is only a baby for a little while. You'll have plenty of time to minimalize and clean after they go off to college- which happens a lot faster than you think.

:bighand: :bighand: :bighand:

I wanted to say this but didnt have the right words. You made a choice to get pregnant, its no longer your house. Grow up and accept your life is about to change.

[niccig]

The problem is gifts! My mother insists on buying DS huge plastic crap that he falls instantly in love with so that I cannot give it away. Without a play room there is nowhere to hide huge plastic crap. Most of our toys are stored nicely. Then there's a corner of our living room dedicated to the HPC. It makes me crazy every time I look at it. The baby stuff is temporary, and you will want to have every possible tool you can find to enable you to put the baby down so you can eat or pee. That stuff goes away, but the HPC can last forever, so sever all your relationships now so that nobody will ever buy your child a gift! :)


I totally agree that it is the gifts. Anything huge, garish and loud is a magnet for grandparents to give the grand kids. And DS LOVED them more than he loved my wooden Waldorf inspired toys. The best I could do was not put batteries in them, so I didn't have to hear the stupid music again and again and again.

OP, whatever you do, do not tell people you don't want huge plastic crap as they will go out of their way to find the biggest, ugliest crapola toy to give you. ILs did this when we said we didn't want noisy toys, they had a competition to find the loudest, most annoying toy to give DS. He loved the toys. I just refused to put batteries in it and I got rid of them as quickly as I could.

[goldenpig]

Welcome to BBB! Your first post is a BP? LOL! I think you'll fit right in!

As prior posters pointed out, it isn't realistic to think that your house will stay the same after having a child. They have so much stuff that they need, not just toys, but all kinds of baby gear, clothes, etc. We used to have such a nice clean house and now it's all messy and cluttered but the kids are only young once--it's their house too and we have lots of fun together. Once you have your child, a lot of things will change and I suspect you won't mind the clutter so much.

Here's our living room before kids (sigh, it's never going to look this nice again!):
https://lh6.googleusercontent.com/-2P4MTeW-xHU/T4KTtlld47I/AAAAAAAABCc/xLaDS_7Qcfo/s288/6ac0943dffafc9683dfa6d79b40c6ef3_image.jpg
And after (we even have a big slide and a trampoline in the living room)--it's a giant toy store, but the kids have a blast!
https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-vTNfKA5zYoI/T4KUzzBtG9I/AAAAAAAABCk/J4OnIjYA1Ik/s288/IMG_7323.jpg

That said, if you really make an effort it is possible to minimize somewhat. I recommend that you read the book Simplicity Parenting (http://www.amazon.com/Simplicity-Parenting-Extraordinary-Calmer-Happier/dp/0345507983/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1333956941&sr=8-1). It talks about the philosophy that kids do better with less stuff and less clutter and has good tips on purging and not accumulating crap. We have tons of stuff and our house is so cluttered--I really like the SP principles but haven't really implemented it in our house yet. I am trying to keep purging as much as I can though! We have cube bookshelves (like the Ikea Expedit) from Land of Nod in our playroom and it really works well to keep things organized and less cluttered.
https://lh4.googleusercontent.com/-HHJBqfYoSQQ/T4KVOoSvtpI/AAAAAAAABCs/IgwdnwFfdQ8/s288/IMG_3197.jpg

Also, don't worry about not being able to keep the decor consistent with your style. There is LOTS of modern design baby stuff out there. Check out sites like Ikea, Land of Nod, Pottery Barn Kids, Dwell Studio (http://www.dwellstudio.com/designer-baby-boutique/nursery-decor.html), AllModern (http://www.allmodern.com/Baby-Kids-C29057.html), etc. Our house was sort of Arts & Crafts style and we got a Craftsman style crib and dresser set from Costco and Craftsman style Kendall beds from Pottery Barn Kids. Also I try to only keep books and stuffed animals in their bedroom, no toys. Since they share a bedroom I have to keep it pretty spare because the furniture takes up most of the room.
https://lh6.googleusercontent.com/-zIEBrSh3G4E/T4KX4rIFAUI/AAAAAAAABDA/8N7Eyi_xJ1E/s288/IMG_7215.jpg

Hope this helps. Good luck, even though it was your house first, soon it will be a home for all of you and there's nothing better than a family home full of love and laughter!

[MoJo]

I have two friends who keep the public parts of their homes amazingly clutter-free with children, but they have three things I don't:

1) A finished basement which is where most of the toys are

2) Upstairs bedrooms which keeps the kids' stuff out of the public view

3) older kids than mine!

I hope you find peace and happiness in your new stage of life. It is different, it is hard, but is more wonderful than I imagined, and I hope you experience this too.

[scriptkitten]

It's possible to be a minimalist and have kids. I have twins and a house that is reset back to "adultness" every night and is no further than 15min to tidy throughout the day. I've never had hordes of bulky toys laying around everywhere. My children are awash in toys and books and I admit to being choosy about selecting more Waldorf and Euro toys for them so that my house is not full of what I consider to be eyesores. I have a lot of storage bins that coordinate with my decor. The huge plastic toys given to us by relatives are stored out of sight when not in use.

Before I get totally flamed, I'll reiterate that my kids are happy, enriched, and completely catered to. It's OUR house, but if mommy ain't happy no one is happy and clutter courtesy of Little Tykes and Disney would drive me to insanity. No one wants a crazy mommy :)

Furthermore, I prefer the way my kids interact with more Waldorfian toys.

[JBaxter]

Let me take care of that for you...

Are you kidding??? Your house first?? Is that how you're going to begin your life as a mother?? That your house is yours and not your whole family's??? That's really sad.

Children are messy and they come bearing clutter...diapers, wipes, creams, bibs, clothes, burp cloths... toys, equipment, strollers....
If you were really a minimalist, you wouldn't have gotten pregnant. Embrace the clutter and enjoy being a mother... screw it... Your baby is only a baby for a little while. You'll have plenty of time to minimalize and clean after they go off to college- which happens a lot faster than you think.

We have a home not a house. You will find random match box cars dishes sometimes in the sink finger prints currently a lovely design on my dining room wall. NONE of my mommy friends over the past 20 yrs ( yes I have a 20 yr old and a 3 yr old) have had the perfect home. IF you obsess about the perfect home you will have issues. It just doesn't happen. Kids play , spill , touch, puke and yes POOP on stuff. Keep up have a few baskets for quick gather ups. There will always be stuff that needs to be "out" infant play gym floor blankets bigger toys My coffee table is a regular Match box city.

[♥ms.pacman♥]

Your priorities will change, and if they don't you probably need to do something about it:)



:yeahthat:

so well said.

after the baby arrives and your life, sleep schedule etc is TOTALLY changed, you will one day laugh at time/energy being wasted on worrying about this sort of thing. Really.

Before I had kids, I used to think the same thing w hen i went to other ppl's houses..that they had houses littered with kids crap and kids took over their house, and I would NEVER allow that. Now that i have a 1yo and a 2yo...I get why..they have better things to do with their time (sleep, shower, eat spend time with their baby) than spending time organizing and cleaning everything. Sure, some people have much neater houses but it's still OBVIOUS that kids live there. I'm sure it gets easier once the kids a little older and they sleep through the night, stop pulling things out etc, but for the first year, i think for most having a clean, orderly home that looks like no kids live there is not a realistic priority.

[kedss]

welcome to the BBB ;)
You will probably find that after your first child is born, your priorities will change a bit. When your dc is older, you will want to create space for their stuff, but recognize it will be a home with a child in it. ;)
Best of luck!

[twowhat?]

OP, before you feel beat up on (if you haven't already) I do think it's possible to strike a happy medium, as PP have described. We spent a couple of months living in a "minimalist" house when we were staging it for the market. We had to put a LOT of toys away into storage. We left our IKEA expedit out with the nice baskets, and we left the nice wood play kitchen out. EVERYTHING else was either moved out of the house or stored in the Expedit. I will admit that it was kind of nice having the house so clean and uncluttered, and the kids honestly didn't miss the missing toys at all.

It WAS a lot of work each night getting the house back to show condition but I do see the advantages of living in a clean, clutter-free home with just a few choice toys. Kids don't need a bunch of toys.

So, once your baby is born, I am sure you will be able to find your happy medium. I agree with the PP who said that everyone needs to be happy in their home. Either by changing your expectations, by actively choosing to do things a certain way, or some of both. Having a child involves a LOT of re-evaluating over time which you just do on the fly:)

[maestramommy]

Hate to be the bearer of bad news, but it is sometimes inevitable. Esp. as your kids get older and start doing a lot of "projects." But for now, here are things you can do:

1) Don't buy a single baby related thing except what you absolutely can get along without. Like the carseat. For everything else, see what you get as gifts first.

2) if you have family that loves you and will love your kids, don't buy them a single toy. Trust me, they will still end up with too many. BT and still doing that.

3) Stay far away from Happy Meals for as long as you can. We've only done it once (last year), and the kids have long forgotten about the little zhu zhu pets that I donated 2 weeks later.

4) Whatever comes into your house, make sure there is a designated storage spot for it. Part of the reason our house can look cluttered is that there isn't an official place for it to be "put away." So it just circles the house. We are getting better about this though.

5) When your kids start school and bringing home all those "treasured" projects, display them for a while. Then put them away. If after several weeks they say nothing, save what YOU really want and toss the rest. Same with if they love to draw and end up drawing 10 pictures a day. If they really want to keep them, have them tape them to the wall in their room. Otherwise by the end of the week, recycle it.

here's a quick tour of our house. I'll take down the pics in a day or two.

Our formal dining room.

You can't see it, but in the front corner is Laurel's pnp/timeout spot. Opposite that is our breadmaker. We do empty and setup when we have large parties

Our formal living room.

In the far right corner is Shep's crate. There is another lovely Queen Anne chair but you can't see it, because the kids moved it next to the window. The sofa is usually covered with 2 flat sheets but they're in the wash. The furniture KEEPS moving around because the kids are always playing "something."

Our family room, also the playroom and entrance to the garage.

Each kid has a closet I made from moving boxes. Next to the closet on the left is our shoe rack. The room has looked much cleaner, but it's also looked much messier. Just depends on the day and how they play. We try to get them to clean up before bedtime.

I won't post a pic of the girls' room, but Pottery Barn it is not. Dh and I saw our neighbor's kid's room and felt bad (her room was BEAUTIFUL) until we thought about how our kids use it. All the walls are papered with their drawings. They make their bed daily and totally pick up when the housecleaner is coming. That's all I have energy for now. I also left out the breakfast room, which is not only where we eat but where Dora does her homework, and the kids draw, paint, play doh, and all other crafts. I have a $3.50 vinyl tablecloth I picked up at Target, on a table that is from Dh's bachelor days. The chair cushions are exploding apart, will have to cover them somehow. There are just not enough hours in a day to get stressed over how unperfect my house looks. It does bug me but I try to keep it in perspective. At least we have this awesome house with plenty of room for 3 kids and a big dog. Life could be worse. Much worse.

Just want to say no matter how minimally you try to live, Kids = messy.

ETA: had to add this because it was so ridiculous as to be funny. Here's my kitchen today after I made fruit tarts, with Laurel's "help."

This is NOT a brag, because halfway through I was asking myself repeatedly why I thought this was a good idea. She kept taking all my flour and shaking it into the cupcake pans. Things got a lot better once I just stopped looking at her, lol.

[BabyMine]

Trust me. After your baby comes it won't be your biggest fear. We have the same decorating styles and had a brand new house when we found out we were expecting. The first year was chaos and the last thing on my mind was the house.

As the boys got older and were taught that they cleaned up after themselves things got better. We will never have our prekids home and I would never want it back. Our home is filled with so much love, learning, frustration, happiness, and energy.

My mother always said that if you want nice furniture wait until the kids move out. That is soooo true. Our couches are used as forts and sometimes trampolines.

When your children are grown and the house is quiet you will miss the sound of your children more than how it was decorated.

[Mommy_Mea]

Ahhh, I remember pre-kids when I worried about stuff like this :)

When DS1 was first born, his toys all fit in a small bin I closed up in the living room. After his first birthday, there was no way it was fitting in that small bin, so it became two... By the time DS2 came around, we were starting to drown in toys a little bit. We set up a 2x4 Expedit and lots of bins, and it is really easy to put it away at night.

That said, we also do the best to control how much comes into the house. The boys don't need a lot of toys, DS1 is perfectly happy playing with his trains 90% of the time. For Christmas and birthdays, we ask for a lot of non-material things, like gymnastics lessons or membership to a children's museum. And I am not afraid to throw things away/donate, especially little cheap toys they get at parties or from grandparents.

[lizzywednesday]

....

I think part of our clutter problem has been gifts. If it were *just* the stuff we purchased because we wanted or needed it, we wouldn't have near as much clutter. But grandparents and others will kindly give your child items that you don't have room for but that the child loves.

...

:yeahthat:

Like the pink doll stroller my DD doesn't need ... and the reason she didn't have one before was because I just didn't want/need it in my house!

I've been trying to fight clutter myself and find it hard, but that's because I'm fighting my own packrat tendencies as well.

[glbb35]

I haven't been on the board for a few days but was "catching up" and saw this posting. My first thoughts were that I had to smile. Maybe it was because it seems like forever ago that my house was just that "my house". Or maybe b/c as I look around all I see is mixed everything. Then I thought back, way back, before we had children, we had a nice, clean and very organized home. IT wasn't minimalist as that is not my style but our home was our home and it was filled with our current needs and past memories. We had antique family heirlooms passed down and nice furnishings. We thought we would glide into parenthood easily but then it took years for things to get rolling (and then it really took off!).
When we had our first son I was able to keep up with everything. The house was always clean and everything had a spot. We did get a lot of gifts (most of what is in our home now is 90% family/friends/birthdays and 10% us) but I had the stuff organized. Along came baby#2 and it took much more work but I still worked hard to maintain that "perfect home" idea. Then I got pregnant with twins. All that type A personality flew out the window by week 5 of being pregnant. I was exhausted all the time, had two toddlers running around and I could no longer do it all. After an exhausting breakdown I realized a few things. It really does take a village. Or at least some help ever now and then. I couldn't do it all, plain and simple. Second, the one thing I hated growing up is we had rooms that were off limits. What was the point? I knew as an adult with children why my mom had rooms that were "perfect" but seriously it just doesn't make sense any more. I waited for years to have children and I did not want a house that no one wanted to come into b/c they were afraid to mess it up. My type A went right out the window.

Now my home is still full of nice things and our family heirlooms I am just not as picky when the kids are crawling all over them. We are fortunate to have a basement and most of their things are in there. We also have very cute buckets (wooden w/ nice handles) that store the day to day things in them in the various rooms they are in and there are no rooms off limits to my kids. Just this weekend we received a great complement from a friend of the families. We had 20 plus family (my husbands family is large!) and friends over for our twins 3rd birthday and Easter celebrations. There were kids in every room and a lot of noise and laughter. My parent's friend said he always enjoyed it here as we have one of the nicest houses he knows and it is always friendly and inviting every time he is over. I apologized for the rooms that were messy and he said they weren't messy they were lived in and loved. I felt so great as DH and I had cleaned up for quite some time the night before. I didn't worry about my floors having spots on them as long as they were cleaned up and DH did wipe what looked like a booger off the wall before everyone came over but that is the difference between a house and a home.

LEt your hair down, enjoy this new baby coming in and check back with us all in a few years. I bet your views will be very different than they are now. so many people wrote great ideas for keeping clutter as bay and you should follow these. If you have more children you will see the clutter. One baby isn't too much and I found that I all really wanted to do was stare at my miracle. Turn your house into a home for your family and enjoy the love, laugher, noise, clutter and "stuff" it is all about growing as a family. My home is filled with our kids and our house is the place others want to come and hang out and I wouldn't trade that for one minute for a perfectly clean house. I strive for cleanliness but am reasonable and my master bedroom is my sanctuary, at least for today! :)

B

DS 03, 06 , twins 09 and baby 7/11

[maestramommy]

glbb35, I don't know why I've not noticed your username before, but that was just a beautiful post. I got all misty reading it:grouphug:

[glbb35]

Thank you maestramommy! As always it is just my 2 cents :) IT is always nice to know a posting made a difference to someone. I appreciate your posting!!!

B

DS 03, 06, twins 09 and baby 7/11

[California]

Several of my friends have beautiful homes that are surprisingly toy-free in the main living areas. It is definitely possible. But I have no idea how... I am just not that organized! All of them have regular housekeepers, that's got to help. On the flip side if you really treasure your sense of style it is something you can include your child in as he/she grows up. Explore homemaking with them, let them try different things with their own rooms-- share with them, introduce them to the culture you enjoy, figure out their own style. Your value can be incorporated into your family values and become something you explore with your kids.

[Ssleenyc]

Thanks to those who actually understood what I was saying and offered some really great suggestions! I know that life is going to change dramatically, and we welcome this! But there is a fairly wide spectrum between trying to keep your house looking like an all white lobby of a south each Miami hotel...and romper room. I was looking for suggestions on how to be in the middle there and I think I got some great ones. So far I have only seen the plastic colored equipment, I did not see such stylish high chairs and bouncers. That will help. So will having dedicated spaces. I think the best suggestion though is to purge and not get and keep every toy under the sun.

I did not mean to offend anyone by the way, but I do feel that you can make room for a child without giving up your entire prior life...by compromise. That is what I plan to do..or at least try. I could be totally wrong and revel in the fact that I am tripping over toys in every room of house a year from now...who knows. All I was asking for was Input from those who feel the same and successfully made an effort to address it...so thanks to those who did!

[Ssleenyc]

STM- would love to see your registry. I cannot pm you yet because I am new...

[maestramommy]

OP, I'm glad to see you came back, I was afraid you felt piled on! I assure you, many of us have been there. And if we didn't really think much about it before the kids came, we sure did the day we woke up and said, "where in the heck did all this crap come from??" :tongue5:

I think some of us are much better organizers than others, also some people have more a sense of style. I have two neighbors, each with 2 kids. The parents all work fulltime, though one family the dad is sort of a SAHD. One neighbor has a gorgeously done house. They confine all the toys to the rec room in the basement. their kids have bedrooms that look like it was done by Pottery Barn. They're small, but all color coordinated, and the furnishings go together. There are pictures and art on the walls, and everything goes together. the other neighbor, the toys are confined to the family room, and the kids' bedrooms. But the SAHD is in the entertainment industry, and is always in the middle of some project, so some days I've been over and there's a welter of stuff everywhere, none of it kid related. But they have great art on their walls and all the furniture mostly goes together.

dh and I don't have a strong sense of style. I just like to stay one step ahead of the clutter. We have a few pictures on the wall, but still haven't gotten around to hanging everything up (we moved in 3.5 years ago). We have finally progressed to phasing out all the grad school furniture from Dh's bachelor days, but some of it persists, because we have 3 little kids and I don't see the point when the existing stuff is getting beat up just during every day life. I have a house cleaner that comes every other week to help keep things from getting too gross. Her coming forces me to de-clutter on a regular basis.

I think you just need to find the middle of the road solution that works for you. I NEED to have a house that is somewhat tidy most of the time, otherwise I get anxious and depressed. Really. I don't care about stylishness or beautiful furnishings. And it doesn't even have to be 100% clean all the time. But the crap has to be put away and tossed in the recycler (all that art paper!) on a regular basis or I start ranting. :p

[sntm]

Hmm, I'll see if I can PM you then. Maybe you can receive them but not send them. Mine has all my contact info, or I'd just post it. PMing now!

[3isEnough]

OP, I didn't post before because I wasn't sure you'd be back, but I wanted to say I totally understand your concern. I'm one of those people who can't think straight (really) if there is crap or clutter all over. So I de-clutter all the time. Yes, we have toys and games and books galore, but they all have a home. So when my kids are done playing with them, we (usually "I") put them away. A friend came over yesterday and told me it looks like I don't have kids since my house is so clean. Honestly, I don't necessarily know if that's a good or bad thing because I truly don't want to deprive my kids or be the mean mom always telling them to stop being kids, but I *think* I've struck the right balance in allowing them to do their thing, but having it picked up and put away when they're done.

And FWIW, I do the same for my and DH's stuff - we (again, mostly "I") just put it away when we're done.

I won't repeat the suggestions others offered since you got some great suggestions upthread.

[lhafer]

Thanks to those who actually understood what I was saying and offered some really great suggestions! I know that life is going to change dramatically, and we welcome this! But there is a fairly wide spectrum between trying to keep your house looking like an all white lobby of a south each Miami hotel...and romper room. I was looking for suggestions on how to be in the middle there and I think I got some great ones. So far I have only seen the plastic colored equipment, I did not see such stylish high chairs and bouncers. That will help. So will having dedicated spaces. I think the best suggestion though is to purge and not get and keep every toy under the sun.

I did not mean to offend anyone by the way, but I do feel that you can make room for a child without giving up your entire prior life...by compromise. That is what I plan to do..or at least try. I could be totally wrong and revel in the fact that I am tripping over toys in every room of house a year from now...who knows. All I was asking for was Input from those who feel the same and successfully made an effort to address it...so thanks to those who did!

I would suggest browsing through the Clean Sweep forum and the Around The House Gear to help you keep a handle on all the stuff you will be getting (whether you want it or not). They will give you lots of ideas on how to stay organized once kids enter the picture.

And the posters here are just trying to give you some reality. I tried to tell my sister what it was like having kids (and all the crap that comes with kids) and she would stay for long weekends in our home and she would nod and smile. She loves her nieces, and would take them for a weekend even. And then after 8 IVF treatments she finally had her own about 7 months ago. She recently told me...."And NOW I understand".

You just can't know and understand until you've walked the mile...and you will soon, and then you will also understand. Kids are the most wonderful precious things on this earth. But they somehow create a upheaval in your life that is uncontrollable. And that's what people are saying when they realize that they just have to let go and go with it sometimes.

[Gracemom]

I think you're really smart for thinking ahead! I really wish I had used more discretion before adding half the stuff that now clutters up my home. Good luck in keeping the kid stuff under control!

[joules]

Ahhh, I remember pre-kids when I worried about stuff like this :)

When DS1 was first born, his toys all fit in a small bin I closed up in the living room. After his first birthday, there was no way it was fitting in that small bin, so it became two... By the time DS2 came around, we were starting to drown in toys a little bit. We set up a 2x4 Expedit and lots of bins, and it is really easy to put it away at night.

That said, we also do the best to control how much comes into the house. The boys don't need a lot of toys, DS1 is perfectly happy playing with his trains 90% of the time. For Christmas and birthdays, we ask for a lot of non-material things, like gymnastics lessons or membership to a children's museum. And I am not afraid to throw things away/donate, especially little cheap toys they get at parties or from grandparents.

:yeahthat: to everything!

The first year was the easiest to get by without a bunch of toys. DS1 just had a handful of toys so it was easy to keep organized. By the time he turned two...I had enough time to adjust to the clutter so it doesn't bother me as much anymore. haha. To help with the clutter, we have always requested "no gifts" during bdays and xmas. Or just requested books instead of regular gifts. For the most part people have honored our wishes. Or they end up giving us clothes or money instead. As for the toys we do have (to date I've only bought about 4 toys for him, all others have been gifts), I put some away in the garage and rotate them out every once in a while. I also try to hide as much of it in pretty storage options as possible. I am also quick to donate a lot of stuff if it doesn't have much play or educational value. But honestly, so far the things that have gotten the most play time haven't actually been toys....DS1 loves pots/pans/cooking utensils/plastic food containers.

This post has been extremely helpful in helping me think about how to hide/organize all the toys: http://www.housetweaking.com/2010/11/02/toy-story/
She has also tweaks larger toys to fit more into her decor. Here she painted over a train table: http://www.housetweaking.com/2010/02/24/i-think-i-can-i-think-i-can/
Her house looks perfect in all her pictures..but this post shows what living with 2 boys is like most of the time: http://www.housetweaking.com/2011/03/17/most-days/


Congratulations!! And as someone else said, you'll be spending most of your time staring at your baby so you won't be noticing much else. For that first year, I didn't even want to go pee because that would take time away from gazing at his precious face!!

[Melaine]

OP, you might want to google "minimalist" nursery or playroom or look at sites like apartment therapy for ideas. ITA you should look at waldorf and montessori toys, they are lovely and can be displayed without giving you a migraine.

There are tons of beautiful baby/kid items that won't clash with the rest of your house. We love our Stokke Tripp Trapp (http://www.stokke.com/en-us/highchair.aspx), for instance and it looks really nice in our kitchen. We often let the Wheely Bugs (http://www.amazon.com/Prince-Lionheart-Wheely-Ladybug-Small/dp/B000GX0B3M/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1334182661&sr=8-1) stay out because they are really cute and classic. We try to keep things under control in the living room, there are usually only a couple of toys in there. I've conceded that the girls' room will not be picture perfect however.

I also totally second the poster who mentioned Simplicity Parenting...it's fabulous and I wish I had read it before the girls came. We try pretty hard to purge stuff constantly and only keep things are that are really being used.

[Ssleenyc]

Excellent suggestions and the blog of that woman's house is exactly what I was hoping for!! Thanks for the pm too!

[Simon]

I think you've gotten great advice and for us the single factor that has helped/hindered the most is when other people send gifts. I cannot begin to tell you how awful the first few years were when I felt too guilty to send the gifts straight to the donation pile. We kept things around, even though we didn't like or want them, because we felt obligated. Even now we get totally random things from people with good intentions but it is soooooo much stuff.

It will also depend somewhat on your kids. If they are in day care all day, you need a lot less than if you have them home or with you all the time. Also, some kids really like toys and others couldn't care less. Ds1 didn't care for toys at all until about 4yo. Ds2 has liked toys right from the beginning so we have acquired a lot more in recent years. Also, now with three kids in three different stages of development, we have *a lot* more toys because there isn't so much overlap in their interests; we need teething rings to star wars and everything in between. As the youngest (our last) grows we'll be able to purge and that will make a nice difference I think.

[meggie t]

We maintain a pretty organized home. I think the main reasons are appropriate storage and scare all your relatives into not gifting your child big gifts! We live in an apt in a major city with limited space. We made the decision to purchase all baby items ourselves. Instead of a "normal" baby shower, my MIL threw me a virtual book shower (we live far from all our relatives). It was great! Books are a passion of mine and I wanted our child to have a fab library. It also gave everyone the ability to spend what was in their budget, as some books are under $10.

Since we don't have a family room, we had to resort to storing things in the living room. Up until a month or so ago, we had 1 large tote bag with all toys. Books are stored in DS's room (no toys in there). I recently got a few gorgeous totes from Etsy for our etageres in the living room. All toys go in the totes before afternoon nap and before bed. DS is almost two, so right now I clean up most of the toys, but it is pretty quick as we don't have a ton. His play kitchen is behind the couch right now, and he still uses that daily. From that blog, I live the idea of the Expedit behind the couch with the totes - once I need more storage, I am going to do that!!

As for baby equipment, most of what we bought was minimalist and able to be folded for storage. We used the Stokke Tripp Trapp high chair and love it. We had the Maclaren baby rocker - no loud patterns. Bjorn rocker is nice too. We did cave and get the FP rainforest jumperoo, but that does collapse somewhat to put in a closet.

You've gotten a ton of great ideas above. Good luck!!