I can't sleep when DH is out of town and I'm alone...

[gatorsmom]

And the longer I stay up, the more paranoid I get. I've noticed that because he's gone a lot. It's not every time he's gone. But more often than not, I become more and more irrational the later the night gets. I start checking 3 or 4 times to make sure the same doors are locked. I startle more easily too.

And frankly, it's not like we are safer with him here. When he's here, I assume he does things like shut the garage door, lock the front door, etc. So, when he's here i let my guard down until I think of the last time when he went to bed with everything unlocked. Soooo many times i"ve gotten up after midnight to find doors unlocked or open when he's here. I'm probably safer when he's not here.

But I can't help it. I am jumpy, fearful and paranoid when he's not here. Which is why I"m still up, right now, even when I have to get the kids up in 4 hours to get them ready for school.

I have that 80's song playing in my head, "I always feel like somebody's watching me..."

[niccig]

I'm the same. I turn on the hall light and let the dog sleep in the bedroom with me.

Hope you can sleep.

[gatorsmom]

As soon as we move into our new house, I'm getting a dog for this very reason. A BIG dog.

[Melaine]

I'm so sorry! I have never spent a night at home without DH since the girls have been here, but he does hang out with friends some nights and I will try to go to bed without him....I can't ever fall asleep or relax. I'm sure I would be like you, up all night!

We have a beagle and before the girls were born she was really alert and a great watch dog. I was confident she would sound the alarm if someone were messing with a door or window. Now, however, after months of us waking up with newborns, she has learned to sleep through everything! I think she lost her watch dog abilities!

I do think it would be nice to have a big dog that would actually be protective though.

[AngelaS]

I've learned I just have to go to bed at my regular time and stay off the computer, because the screen keeps me awake. I take my book and go to bed and read myself to sleep. :)

Last year, dh was gone over half the year. I finally learned to sleep without him. Of course, I also have a big dog and I learned how to use a Glock....

[maestramommy]

:hug::hug:I know how you feel. On the rare occasions Dh was out of town I'd sleep with the light on. couple of years ago he took Dora to CA for a long weekend, I finally borrowed his aunt's dog. She slept downstairs, but it made me MUCH more relaxed. I don't suppose a dog is in your future?

[klwa]

I'm the same. I leave the TV on all night when DH is out of town, just so I don't get freaked out by every little noise. And, like you, I knwo I'm safer in some ways when he's not home, because I always remember to set the alarm, check the doors, etc. He used to, but has gotten lax & if I set the alarm before I go to bed, he has a habit of choosing that nigth to go out the ONE set of doors that immediately sets off the alarm. (Most nights, he doesn't go outside after I go to bed. But if I set the alarm, he's sure to.)

[hillview]

Eeeks that is not good. Do you watch CSI or other scary shows at night? Can you get an alarm system (would that give you peace of mind?)?

[TwinFoxes]

I honestly feel like having my big dog helps. He's a boxer, so a good size, acts tough, and is a good cuddlier. :) He's got great hearing, so if someone's in the house he will know way before I do. We have a little loud dog too, so I don't have to worry about sleeping through any break ins.

[hellokitty]

I have the same problem. When my dog was alive, I'd let her sleep with me. My sil is in this situation a lot, since bil travels quite a bit. She lets her dog sleep with her too during those times, she also sometimes lets her dd sleep with her.

[gobadgers]

I find myself wired up when DH is gone too, it sucks! Its like a downward spiral too, by around 2:00am I'm not only kindy jumpy, but now I'm worried about getting up and having energy in the morning too.

I find that screens make it worse for me too (tv or computer). Definitely worse when there is other stress too.

I hope you got a little bit of sleep last night, and get a chance to rest for a little bit today.

[BabyBearsMom]

Would an alarm system make you feel better? When DH was traveling for work frequently with his old job, we looked into getting an alarm because he was worried about me being home alone. He decided to switch jobs instead so he didn't travel so much. We also have a small dog. He wouldn't be able to protect me, but he makes a great alarm system :rotflmao: No one gets within 20 feet of our house without me knowing.

The other day, DH scared the crap out of me. He went to Home Depot to pick some stuff up and didn't want to drag it through the house to the back yard. So instead, he drags it around the house, jumps the fence and comes in through our basement door. The dog starts going nuts when he hears the basement door open and I got freaked because we never use the back door. I run to the stairs, lock the door down to the basement, ran upstairs to grab DD out of her crib (she was napping) and was racing to the front door when I heard DH's voice calling my name from the basement door asking me to unlock it! I was so mad at him.

[gatorsmom]

Would an alarm system make you feel better? When DH was traveling for work frequently with his old job, we looked into getting an alarm because he was worried about me being home alone. He decided to switch jobs instead so he didn't travel so much. We also have a small dog. He wouldn't be able to protect me, but he makes a great alarm system :rotflmao: No one gets within 20 feet of our house without me knowing.



We are living in a rental house right now and the owners dont' want us to have a pet while we are here. And we don't want to install a security system because we are building a house right now. We will get a security system for the new house. I seriously plan to get a dog pretty quickly after moving in too. :) I also planned the layout of the second floor (where our bedrooms will be) so that I can completely lock it off from the main floor but still be connected to the upstairs bedrooms. Part of the reason for all the precautions is that our new house will be at the end of a very long driveway and surrounded by forest. It's a great lot- but very secluded. I guess you could say I'm tired of those sleepless nights!

[BabyBearsMom]

We are living in a rental house right now and the owners dont' want us to have a pet while we are here. And we don't want to install a security system because we are building a house right now. We will get a security system for the new house. I seriously plan to get a dog pretty quickly after moving in too. :) I also planned the layout of the second floor (where our bedrooms will be) so that I can completely lock it off from the main floor but still be connected to the upstairs bedrooms. Part of the reason for all the precautions is that our new house will be at the end of a very long driveway and surrounded by forest. It's a great lot- but very secluded. I guess you could say I'm tired of those sleepless nights!

Good luck! I hope your new house is finished soon and that you can get some rest!

[MSWR0319]

I totally feel ya. DH travels a lot and I never get any sleep. We recently got a security system and I feel better. I also found running a humidifier in our room helps block out the creaking noises I would hear. I would LOVE to have a dog in the house but DS is allergic so the dog stays outside. He just passed away so I'm hoping to get a LARGE dog after the new baby comes and we get settled in. Like ou I doubt we're any safer with DH here. He leaves the garage doors up half the time and forgets to check the doors. Luckily the security system tells us that now.

[R2sweetboys]

:hug: Luckily, DH doesn't travel much anymore but I remember that creepy feeling all too well. When the boys were younger, we had an older dog who pretty much never barked. I always liked to think he'd protect us if need be but didn't have much confidence in the old guy. ;) I'd sleep with some lights on with a knife under my pillow and a baseball bat nearby. Do you have a baseball bat you could keep next to your bed for now? It at least made me feel like I could defend myself.

We now have two 80 lb dogs and I do feel much more at ease when he's not here. One of the dogs has a pretty mean sounding bark and dark intense looking eyes, even though he's probably harmless. Our other dog is even bigger and dark colored which some people find more intimidating. I feel like just the fact that we have big dogs would cause a burglar to choose an easier target. I wouldn't get a dog just for protection though. If you already wish to have a family dog and are ready for it, it can help you feel more secure.

[inmypjs]

I totally identify with your post! I would do the same thing, and the longer I stayed awake the worse it got. I finally did some serious thinking about what I was really afraid of, and what was the worst that could happen. My biggest fear was someone breaking into the house while I was asleep. When DH was gone, I felt like I had to be on auditory and visual alert, because there was only one of me, and I had to "stand guard" if you will. I read what you wrote about not being able to get an alarm, but it was truly what helped me. We have every door and ground accessible window alarmed, and now I know that I will hear if someone enters, so I don't have to be on alert. I sleep much better now.