Still can’t get over it, been stewing since Saturday

[FTMLuc]

I ran into an acquaintance (after what I know now I will never call this person a friend) over the weekend with her 4 month old DD. After fawning over the baby the talk turned to work and she tells me that she is now on short term disability to extend her maternity leave by faking PPD. I was absolutely flabbergasted and still cannot get over it. To me it is the most disrespectful thing I have ever heard to anyone who ever suffered from it. My cousin had sever PPD where she did not even touch her newborn DD for the first 2 months of her life, I lived in the fog for the first 8 weeks post partum, and I cannot imagine someone just cavalierly talking about doing something so disrespectful, morally wrong and not to mention illegal. I know people fake things all the time, but this had really hit home for some reason. I am completely disgusted by these people now, but I am stuck seeing them socially at various functions in the near future b/c my cousin is marrying into the family. Ugh

[infomama]

I may consider reporting her. She is acting criminally if you ask me.
http://www.etiquettehell.com/smf/index.php?topic=85353.0

[karstmama]

ick. she's way in the wrong & i don't blame you for your gut-level dislike.

[mikala]

Blech. I hear you on the disgust and understand completely. I totally understand wanting more time with baby but that's a really unethical way to go about getting that time.

[Melaine]

I would be completely horrified also. Did you say anything? I know I would have been just flabbergasted and probably couldn't articulate a response on the spot. That's just awful.

[SnuggleBuggles]

What if she isn't faking but is too embarrassed to admit she has it?Eta. Otherwise, really not ok!!

[belovedgandp]

Wow, serious disrespect for many people who have truly suffered. I know I would have been speechless on the spot but stewed also.

[DietCokeLover]

As someone else who legitimately struggled with PPD, I find her actions pretty repulsive as well.

[misshollygolightly]

That's awful! Unless...maybe...she really does have PPD but is embarrassed to admit it. Maybe she felt she needed an explanation for why she hadn't returned to work yet, but didn't feel comfortable going into such a personal, painful topic with someone who isn't a close friend. Ugh. Either way, I'm sorry you had such an awkward, awful exchange with her.

[wellyes]

As I get older, I have a harder time not hiding my disgust at people like that. To TELL you she is defrauding her company is pretty stupid, too.

Snub her from now on so her bad karma doesn't rub off on you.

[FTMLuc]

Thank you for validating my feelings, I though that may be I was just over-reacting.

I think my feelings totally registred on my face because she stated that the company knows that she is faking it and since she paid into the short term disability fund, why not use it. Um, because you don't legitimately need it.

Based on what I have seen and know of them and the way they do things she would not be embarrassed to admit to something like PPD. They are the oversharing type.

[momm]

Ugh. What a horrible person.

[BabbyO]

If this is truly what she is doing I think it is crummy. That said, at my company STD is routinely used for the first 6 wks of maternity leave, then the second 6 weeks is FMLA. Any chance that is what is really going on?

[Mommy_Mea]

:47: As someone who had a nasty case of PPD with DS1, I find that horrifying. She better watch out for karma!!

[Seitvonzu]

that is terrible. i'm embarrased for her... i just hate when people take advantage like that. no pride! :(

[hellokitty]

Wow, what a slime ball! That's just despicable. I'd be tempted to report her, since what she is doing is technically illegal. It's such a slap in the face to those who really have suffered PPD.

[DrSally]

THat's bad

[KAK22]

That is just wrong! I have a co-worker who has gotten her doctor to write that she needs to be out longer because her kids haven't gained enough weight since birth - even though both were chubby. Her reasoning is that even though she had her kids in the summer (we're both teachers) and she should get to use her sick leave as long as she wants.

Um no, that's not the way our contract goes and you made the choice of when to have your children. Both pregnancies were VERY planned.

[sntm]

Slimy! And shame on any doctor that would go along with that.

[alexsmommy]

I would have been enraged/disgusted/disappointed/frustrated/whole host of negative emotions in the past if a friend had done this. But life has shown me things that make me believe in karma. If she is just saying it because she is embarrassed to admit she truly is having difficulties, then life will show her a path to help someone else in the future not degrade themselves by using a cover story for a perfectly acceptable situation. If she is truly faking it, karma will bite her in the butt at some point in some way and show her just how inappropriate her choice was.
Either way, I'm sorry your friend felt a need to present herslef in in such a negative light.