Go stuff yourselves, ILs.

[MamaInMarch]

Just a general vent because it makes me crazy and I certainly can't vent to DH.

My DH's family are some messed up folks. His grandparents have only met our 6 month old once and that was because we went to see his brother who was in from FL and they were there too. And his grandmother even said she passes our house daily on the way to see her mother at the nursing home. Any time we have gone out to visit them it is because we have called to stop out. They don't call DH or the kids on his/their birthday or any other holiday. The rest of his family is the same. His aunt hasn't seen the kids in months and she is our way three times a week. I tried inviting them, calling them, etc. to get the ball rolling but it's pointless. It really infuriates me because it hurts that my kids are so insignificant to them. And that my DH wishes his family would be excited about his kids and they just don't f-ing care.

I know I am not alone. I have seen post after post here about family/grandparents that don't have anything to do with BBB members kids for no reason. I just don't understand what screw is loose in people who do this. Regardless, it sucks and it hurts. I want to tell them all what I think of them and flip every last one of them the bird.

[elephantmeg]

that's rough-that would really make me mad too. Hugs. Are his parents involved?

[trcy]

:hug: I am sorry...that sucks!

[NJ_Mom2011]

Wow, everyone in your DH's family is so long-living. So he has his grandmother and great-grandmother alive?

I have decided that it doesn't take a genius or a person with good character to have children (or in this case, grandchildren). That is why family of friends mean more to me than blood relatives. :hug:

[hellokitty]

OP, I get where you are coming from. Both sets of parents have very little to do with us. My own dad has driven by our house (we are an 50 away from them, they drove past our house to go to a dentist, like they got off the freeway, and had to drive past our house to get to the dentist office) and not stopped, saying he is too busy and it's a waste of time to see us. Yes, it is f'd up. I don't understand it either. Worse yet, they will bitch and moan about us not visiting them. They have cars, they are able bodied, they have more time (DH is on call 50% of the yr, so we are stuck in town during those times, which limits how often we can visit them) than we do to drive an hr to visit. It is just weird. I don't get it. My friends' parents fall over one another to see their grandkids, they drive from out of state and see their grandkids more often than either set of our parents ever see our kids (both sets are less than an hr away), and if our parents see us, they only stay for an hr and then are dying to leave. Why drive an hr, only to stay an hr and then leave? It is just odd and I do not know any other ppl who have parents like this who don't have any interest in spending time with their grandkids.

[Simon]

I'm sorry that it bothers you. MIL has not met Ds2 or Ds3 yet but still posts about the kids on FB and has their photos up on her wall. It really bugs me that she wants to portray herself as a doting grandma but doesn't really seem interested in getting to know them other than impersonal things--hallmark cards and holiday gifts. I know its more than some grandparents do, but it still rubs me the wrong way.

[MamaInMarch]

Yes, his father's mother and grandmother are alive. DH's parents were both very young when he was born, like 18 and 22. His great grandmother is in a nursing home with severe dementia/alzheimers.

His parents aren't/weren't too involved. His mom was not involved much for a long time but about 6 months before she passed away (sudden, unexpected) she tried to be involved as best she could. His dad sees the kids now and then but only when we call and invite ourselves to their house or invite them to ours.

NJ_Mom, it is helpful that we have friends who care about our kids. I just know it hurts DH that his family is not excited about his kids and that's what makes me so angry. Why is it that people can hurt us and we can shake it off, but when someone hurts a loved one it is so much more difficult to handle?

hellokitty, that is hurtful. And I am sorry. I don't understand people like that at all.

Simon, that is crazy that your DS2 is 2-ish and she has never met him!!!