so, so petty. but i need to put it somewhere

[lmh2402]

i got a box today. which contained three settings of china.

we never bothered to register for china when we got married b/c we had zero space for it.

since moving into a house, we (I) picked a pattern i like and we plan to just get a setting here or there. we have no rush. we don't even have a breakfront or anywhere to store it.

anyway, mother's day is coming up. my mother said to me last week, "i have no idea what to get you. this is a special mother's day, since you're pregnant." yada, yada.

i said i really didn't need anything. but she kept pressing, so i said, maybe a GC b/c i haven't bought myself new clothes in i can't remember how long. or a GC for a prenatal massage. or a pedicure. or a manicure.

you know...something for me. or, i even said money toward a store where i can buy a vitamix. b/c i really want one. but they're so $$ and we've got so much going on right now that i can't justify the spend. or a new cast iron pan b/c we have a small one, but i want a bigger one. and $150 for a pan seems unnecessary right now. but it's something i would actually use. kwim?

she sent me three settings of china.

and i'm having a bad day today for a number of reasons. so i admit to being emotionally raw and on-edge. but i opened the box and just cried.

so stupid and not grateful. but seriously? china? thanks.

i put the box in the basement. b/c what am i going to do with it? not much to be done with three settings of china.

happy mother's day.

i'm awful, i know.

[elephantmeg]

oh jeez. I guess she meant well. I'm sorry and hugs!

[sariana]

Oh, dear. Can you possibly return it and use the money for the Vitamix? (What is that, BTW?)

You're not awful. It was kind of a thoughtless gift, honestly. Why ask you what you wanted and then ignore your requests?

[Toba]

You aren't awful at all! You gave a great varied list of things that you would like or needed and she ignored all of that. A gift is a gift and all, but I don't think you're being petty. Some people think they need to go above and beyond your expectations, especially since she thought this MD was extra special for you, when in actuality if you wanted the china, it would have been in your list. Hope you have a fantastic Mother's Day and your DH comes through with one (or more) of your wishes! :)

[megs4413]

your mom sends YOU mother's day gifts? I thought it was the other way around?

If it was me, I'd try to return it and get a store credit. Otherwise, I'd put it in storage like you did.

[lmh2402]

thanks, guys

i felt better about an hour later. i was just in a serious funk today. it was very nice of her. random. and totally sort of useless, TBH. but that's ok. she was trying to be thoughtful.


your mom sends YOU mother's day gifts? I thought it was the other way around?

yes, we exchange gifts. only since having DS, obviously. but does no one else get a gift from their parents?

huh...

they give my DH a FD gift too. just seemed normal to me. :shrug:

[megs4413]

thanks, guys

i felt better about an hour later. i was just in a serious funk today. it was very nice of her. random. and totally sort of useless, TBH. but that's ok. she was trying to be thoughtful.



yes, we exchange gifts. only since having DS, obviously. but does no one else get a gift from their parents?

huh...

they give my DH a FD gift too. just seemed normal to me. :shrug:

it might be normal. My parents are far from what I consider normal. LOL! But, personally, I've never received a mother's day gift (or card) from anyone other than DH or the kids.

[Indianamom2]

Just a thought, but is it possible that this isn't your mother's day gift, but rather just a "because she knew you were collecting china" gift? It's kind of early for a MD gift...

Either way, our feelings are what they are, even if we know we should be grateful. Add to that the pregnancy hormones and I understand the disappointment. :hug:

[AshleyAnn]

yes, we exchange gifts. only since having DS, obviously. but does no one else get a gift from their parents?

huh...

they give my DH a FD gift too. just seemed normal to me. :shrug:

My mom gives me a mothers day gift too. I'm a single mom and my STBexH has never bothered so she gives me gift. She's done it since I was pregnant, I think its sweet. We also have a family friend who sends us cards every year. Never seemed unusual to me

She also gives me a gift for valentines day (And yet she forgot my birthday this year!)

[California]

Totally well intentioned and yet, not at all on target! I wonder if she got the idea from someone else. One of my friends gets a new china place setting from the grandparents to celebrate each pregnancy. I'd never heard of it before but it's their family tradition. Who knows-- maybe your mom heard someone talk about something similar!

On the topic of gifts, my mom gives me a small gift and card for Mother's Day. And I'll give my girls gifts when they are grown, and my DILs. Judging from my friends and the posts on here, not all DHs are that clued in to making Mother's Day special so we women have to stick together! (Oh, and of course I give my mom something, though she has so much I try to make it an "experience" type gift rather than more stuff.)