glbb35
05-05-2012, 02:20 PM
Why do some friends, acquaintances and especially strangers feel it is appropriate to just say what is on their minds? I mean this is the bitching post so we can say what is on our minds. But seriously, I have seen my share of mindless things just come rolling out of people's mouths lately. I am not perfect, not even close but I do try to think about things before I say them. I should preface this by saying we just returned home from a vacation a week ago.
Earlier in the week while registering DS1 for swim team. Neighborhood acquaintance "how nice to see you" interrupting a conversation I am having with someone else. "wow, you are so tan". Me "yes, we just got back from a vacation, this is what we were talking about". Acq. "a vacation? Must be nice to be able to just fly away on a vacation and take time for yourself!" Me, stunned "yes it was worth all the planning we did to make it possible and it has been 2 years since our last trip". Acq "well, you must be doing very well for yourself" I was so dumbfounded I just smiled and walked away. 2 years! It has been 2 years we saved up for this! Why did I have to defend myself anyway?
At DS's school the next day. Run into a mom of a friend of DS1 who I haven't seen in a while. "it is has been too long. What have you been up to? How is DS1?" Me "he is well enjoying (his sport)". Friend "so he is not playing soccer? That is a good thing he was never good at it anyway and just looked silly running back and forth" All I could think about was how she just insulted my child!
Putting gas into our vehicle which is a rather large van as our family is large. Man at the other pump "wow, it must cost you an arm and a leg to fill that sucker up?" Me, "it can add up but we love our vehicle" Man " don't you worry about how you are treating the environment? Can't you just have a smaller car?" (He has this "energy efficient" super small SUV that he can barely fit in himself let alone any family) He continues "we have this super efficient vehicle and it gets me where I need to go smartly". Me after hearing quite enough "well that is good for you, it wouldn't be good for me as I have a large family and we wouldn't fit into that thing and I do drive smartly. My commute to work is less than 1 minute, I work from home, I run all my errands on the same day I am already out so I am not out driving everyday. DH car pools the 2 days a week he has to drive, we recycle as much as we possible can, grow many of our own vegetables and try not to get in the car and drive all the time for the sake of it! How many days do you drive and how far?" Man now looking embarrassed "I drive 45 min to work 5 days a week" Me "well I guess I am the one doing more for our environment then you." Smiling as I drive away. What an ass!
and to top it off. Yesterday at a lunch with friends. Talking with 2 friends and one of their friends about family. "How are your kids?" Me " all fine and well". Acq friend "how many do you have?" Me "5" Acq friend "wow, is this your last or do you plan to have more?" (I don't even know this person) Before I can answer my friend (who is not acting very friendly at the moment) "She is done. She has plenty on her plate and she needs to not have anymore children" Really??? Who are you to talk for me on MY family? Who are you to decide what my needs are. I love my kids. They are the hardest job I have and some days I feel so overwhelmed but everyday I am so grateful for them in my life. I didn't even know how to respond. I just simply said that I am an adult who can make the best decisions for the needs of my family. Then I walked off. I would never question someone about their family like this. Or make assumptions. If I were younger I would have more. My children complete me. DH and I have done well with them and I feel a real sense of accomplishment when I look at them. I hope they will make this crazy world a better place one day. And since when is having only 2 kids the norm and anything beyond that thought of as crazy? Friend is super religious so I smirkingly said "I am fruitful and have multiplied". I didn't know what else to say. We didn't say much after that.
Ugh!!!! Ok, vent is coming to a close. I tried to talk with DH about this past week. He said I was just being too touchy-feely and to let it go. Maybe I am. I just hope I would have the smarts to not be so offense to others on the decisions they make for themselves. Thanks for listening. This is why this board is so important. Without an outlet for all the stupidity out there I think I would scream!
B
DS 03, 06, twins 09 and baby 7/11
Earlier in the week while registering DS1 for swim team. Neighborhood acquaintance "how nice to see you" interrupting a conversation I am having with someone else. "wow, you are so tan". Me "yes, we just got back from a vacation, this is what we were talking about". Acq. "a vacation? Must be nice to be able to just fly away on a vacation and take time for yourself!" Me, stunned "yes it was worth all the planning we did to make it possible and it has been 2 years since our last trip". Acq "well, you must be doing very well for yourself" I was so dumbfounded I just smiled and walked away. 2 years! It has been 2 years we saved up for this! Why did I have to defend myself anyway?
At DS's school the next day. Run into a mom of a friend of DS1 who I haven't seen in a while. "it is has been too long. What have you been up to? How is DS1?" Me "he is well enjoying (his sport)". Friend "so he is not playing soccer? That is a good thing he was never good at it anyway and just looked silly running back and forth" All I could think about was how she just insulted my child!
Putting gas into our vehicle which is a rather large van as our family is large. Man at the other pump "wow, it must cost you an arm and a leg to fill that sucker up?" Me, "it can add up but we love our vehicle" Man " don't you worry about how you are treating the environment? Can't you just have a smaller car?" (He has this "energy efficient" super small SUV that he can barely fit in himself let alone any family) He continues "we have this super efficient vehicle and it gets me where I need to go smartly". Me after hearing quite enough "well that is good for you, it wouldn't be good for me as I have a large family and we wouldn't fit into that thing and I do drive smartly. My commute to work is less than 1 minute, I work from home, I run all my errands on the same day I am already out so I am not out driving everyday. DH car pools the 2 days a week he has to drive, we recycle as much as we possible can, grow many of our own vegetables and try not to get in the car and drive all the time for the sake of it! How many days do you drive and how far?" Man now looking embarrassed "I drive 45 min to work 5 days a week" Me "well I guess I am the one doing more for our environment then you." Smiling as I drive away. What an ass!
and to top it off. Yesterday at a lunch with friends. Talking with 2 friends and one of their friends about family. "How are your kids?" Me " all fine and well". Acq friend "how many do you have?" Me "5" Acq friend "wow, is this your last or do you plan to have more?" (I don't even know this person) Before I can answer my friend (who is not acting very friendly at the moment) "She is done. She has plenty on her plate and she needs to not have anymore children" Really??? Who are you to talk for me on MY family? Who are you to decide what my needs are. I love my kids. They are the hardest job I have and some days I feel so overwhelmed but everyday I am so grateful for them in my life. I didn't even know how to respond. I just simply said that I am an adult who can make the best decisions for the needs of my family. Then I walked off. I would never question someone about their family like this. Or make assumptions. If I were younger I would have more. My children complete me. DH and I have done well with them and I feel a real sense of accomplishment when I look at them. I hope they will make this crazy world a better place one day. And since when is having only 2 kids the norm and anything beyond that thought of as crazy? Friend is super religious so I smirkingly said "I am fruitful and have multiplied". I didn't know what else to say. We didn't say much after that.
Ugh!!!! Ok, vent is coming to a close. I tried to talk with DH about this past week. He said I was just being too touchy-feely and to let it go. Maybe I am. I just hope I would have the smarts to not be so offense to others on the decisions they make for themselves. Thanks for listening. This is why this board is so important. Without an outlet for all the stupidity out there I think I would scream!
B
DS 03, 06, twins 09 and baby 7/11