What do you and your spouse enjoy doing together?

[BeachBum]

DH and I are going through a rough time.... I've been thinking about how many of our before kids activities aren't really practical in our life right now and that we don't seem to have many shared interests or hobbies (outside of the kids and our business which both often feel like obligations) anymore.

I really want to try to find some "us" time, but I'm having trouble coming up with things that we can do together. We can have some afternoons as well as evening "dates".

I'm hoping to be inspired...what things do you and your spouse enjoy doing together in your free time? "Little things" are equally as important as big things....

[karstmama]

diving. yeah, that's a big one, but mama's willing to babysit for up to a week at a time.

movies, if we can find one we both want to watch. we *do* have some overlap & enjoy them when we can.

he likes to shoot & is trying to get back into doing it competitively. i'm willing to do some target shooting for an hour or two once in a while.

sex. had to be said.

are there any classes at your local community college or center you'd both like? wine tasting, local history, cooking, pottery?

[brittone2]

We finally interviewed some sitters and one thing we are looking forward to doing again is taking our kayaks out together. Peaceful, relaxing, and something we enjoyed doing pre-kids.

We like going to a book store and perusing together and then sitting down with something to drink.

Picnics? In the summer there are a lot of free music and theatre events in many areas, and it can be nice to pack a picnic dinner and enjoy it together.

SItting on the porch swing outside with a bottle of wine, talking about life, and reconnecting.

And of course, the more obvious "date" stuff like going out to dinner.

We prefer dates where we can still talk, because with three kids it can be tough to get that time in otherwise ;) So we are more likely to opt for dinner together rather than a movie, if we had to decide.

ITA with sex :)

eta: going to a local lake or park to talk and walk, sit down on a blanket and chill out together, etc.

[swrc00]

On date nights we typically see a movie and have dinner. I look forward to hearing some other responses, because I think we need to shake it up a bit.
One thing we do like to do is play board games. We try to play a game once a week after DS goes to bed. I know it is not that exciting, but we do enjoy doing it.

[ray7694]

We enjoy music and just city events. In honesty I don't think you have to both totally love something to do it. It is give and take in our world. We don't enjoy the same music but take turns at concerts. We don't even like the same sports teams but I went with him to the Cardinals World Series game last year as a Cubs fan no less. It was just great sharing it with him.

[Pyrodjm]

Without kids:
Cooking
Scrabble
movies
trying new restaurants
watching stand-up comedy
walks (when the weather is nice)

[SnuggleBuggles]

Hiking
Running
Walking
Going to dinner
Going to/ watching movies
Playing board games
Hanging out

[MamaKath]

I'm hoping to be inspired...what things do you and your spouse enjoy doing together in your free time? "Little things" are equally as important as big things....
I know this is wrong but my initial reaction is... argue. :bag
Okay so on to seriousness. We go out to dinner, go to the occasional movies, do our Costco trip together, take a drive, go out for ice-cream, go for a bike ride, drive golf balls, play scrabble, cook together. Oh and make-up sex. :wink2:

[buddyleebaby]

We don't get to go out much. Our baby-sitters are two states away.

We do go on the occasional lunch date with our youngest in tow while the older two are in school. Not really "us" time but it does give us the chance to sit and talk.

In the house, we try and do things together, even if they are mundane everyday things. We do the grocery shopping together. If he is washing dishes, I will go and dry them. If I am making dinner, he will help me chop. We turn on the TV and fold laundry together. We like talking walks down to the beach or sitting on our porch swing in the afternoon. He makes fishing lures so while he is working on his lures I will work sit with him and work on any one of my projects. If we are reading, we cuddle up under the same blanket and start a fire in the fireplace.

For actual dates (when we get them) we go out to eat, go to a bar with friends, go to a concert, go swimming. Once in a while we will go out on a fishing boat in the evening for a couple of hours. It's a treat for him because he loves fishing and rarely gets to go out on the ocean (usually fishes in lakes and streams) and it's a treat for me because it is relaxing to be out on the water at night watching him do what he loves. There's also lots and lots of time to talk and laugh. And you have to laugh...last time he caught four HUGE fish and I (standing right next to him) caught none. But his were delicious. :rotflmao:

[kijip]

We like to:

-Go for walks, especially when it is starting to get dark.
-Comb through used records and CDs at music stores with a tiny budget.
-go to the dollar theater and if the movie is bad, just laugh at it and kiss.
-go see funny authors speak
-go out to eat at taco trucks, gyro huts or hotdog carts. Or this hole in the wall fish fry place.
-Go to the late happy hours for small plates and drinks.
-go roller skating
- ride bikes

[Twoboos]

I have no idea... just watching tv lately. If we ever have a date night (which we haven't had in ages!), it's dinner and a movie.

We are in a similar patch - DH is flat out with work and a TON of family issues - so we are trying to reconnect this week by going out to lunch. We might try to do this every other week.

Sex really should get back on the high-priority list, but we are both just exhausted all the time!! Pathetic, but true.

[momm]

We like to:

-Go for walks, especially when it is starting to get dark.
-Comb through used records and CDs at music stores with a tiny budget.
-go to the dollar theater and if the movie is bad, just laugh at it and kiss.
-go see funny authors speak
-go out to eat at taco trucks, gyro huts or hotdog carts. Or this hole in the wall fish fry place.
-Go to the late happy hours for small plates and drinks.
-go roller skating
- ride bikes

Wow, I want to be you.

OP, great thread. I'll be watching this one.

We don't get babysitters, so after DS is down we like to catch up on old shows that we've never seen.. we watch episode after episode, season after season, of shows that we've missed. We have caught up on things like Dexter, Breaking Bad, this way. Not too bad for couch time, winding down after long days.

[hillview]

Walks
Crosswords over coffee and a bagel
Sex
Shopping for anything
Hand out at a bar

[Momit]

-Bike ride
-Driving range
-Making home-brewed beer
-Enjoying a glass of beer or wine on the porch
-Play Rock Band on the Playstation
-Lunch date while DS is at preschool
-Fun shopping like IKEA, Earth Fare, Costco

[bigsis]

We do Happy Hour Wednesdays. The kids get drive-thru junk food. We put the kids to bed exactly at 8pm. Then we have beer and whatever we want---KFC, tacos, whatever!

We just watch TV when we eat, but it sure feels like a mini-vacation every week.

[carolinamama]

Watch a movie together on the couch

Sit on our front porch together and just hang out/talk/have some wine

Sex (we recently rekindled this part of our relationship - pregnant, bfing, just too tired - and it is helping us reconnect

Foot rubs (DH rubs mine)

DH loves mindless tv to unwind at night. I don't. But sometimes I just sit with him and watch so that we are together. This is usually when the foot rubs occur.

Dream together about the places we would like to travel.

I am watching this thread tho, because I think we need more ideas. You can see, ours all involve things that we do at home after the kids are in bed. We really should get a sitter more often but we don't.

[twowhat?]

I hear you on how frustrating it can be when you don't really have shared interests.

DH and I don't even do anything together after the kids are in bed because he likes to watch his TV shows, and I simply don't like to watch TV anymore. I just can't relax watching TV (I USED to love watching TV but ever since having the kids, I just don't enjoy it like I used to - and I think it is because TV makes noise!!! I like TOTAL SILENCE after the kids are in bed hahaha). I like getting on FB, or BBB, or browsing online for clothes:)

We used to do Friday or Saturday night movie nights, but when the girls stopped sleeping 11 hrs at night, we quit movie nights in order to simply get enough sleep.

We still try to do movie nights every so often but the last time that happened was a few months ago when we borrowed Bridesmaids from a friend. I just don't have the energy to pick a movie that I think we would both like!!

We occassionally do lunch dates (esp since we both worked in the same office).

Sorry - hahahahaha - I just realized this is SO not helpful :hysterical:

[baymom]

My DH and I have very, very few actual date nights, but some things we like to do when the kids are sleeping include:

Playing board games
Watching tv shows or movies that we both like
Sitting on the balcony with a glass of wine
Trying a new recipe together
Pillow talk
Playing games on the kindle or cell phone

But, to be honest, most nIghts, we finish the chores and end up doing our own thing (reading, bills, organizing, ect.) and go to bed. We make an effort to spend quality time together at least twice a week, though.

[♥ms.pacman♥]

i hear ya..one of the main things DH and I liked to do together pre-kids was travel, and well, we can't exactly do that anymore with 2 little ones.

We also were both into distance running (we ran a couple of half-marathons together, and we each compelted a full marathon) but not sure we'd have time to devote to the training right now. Ideally in a year or two we'd manage to run a short race, using BOB Duallie. But the sad fact is that we're just so out of shape right now, as a result of just being overtired and exhausted of raising 2 little ones, and i think my body still hasnt' fully recovered from two back-to-back pregnancies!

like a PP, we tend to do little everyday things together...we cook food together (he chops, i cook), while he loads the dishwasher i clean up the kitchen... we fold laundry together in front of the TV after the kids are in bed. TV for us is a big one..a few nights a week we watch about an hour of TV together..luckily we like all the same shows.

[mackmama]

hike
watch TV/movies
go out to dinner/brunch/lunch
have some fancy drinks in a swanky club
go to a play/theater
go for walks
hold hands
play board games
browse home decor stores
relax in the bath or a hot tub
explore new towns/day trip destinations
go to a museum
have a glass of wine on the couch and talk

[georgiegirl]

Movie and dinner for date nights in the winter

Go to the local cheese shop and taste artisanal cheeses and drink wine

In the summer, we try to go to local festivals.

Every year, we pick 1 or 2 tv shows to watch together. That way we can discuss them.

We also like to look at local real estate online and discuss what we like and don't like. It's funny because we have in depth conversations about these homes we'd never actually buy. The nice thing is that we usually agree on most stuff, but it's also fun to have "arguments" about these houses as well.

[oneplustwo]

Before we were even married, we got a subscription to a local symphony orchestra, and we've kept up the subscription through a move out of the city into the suburbs and through three babies. Now it forces us to have a date night. Doesn't really matter what the program is, we get to dress up a little, sometimes have time to grab a bite before the concert, and enjoy the music. It lets us be a couple again and enjoy a bit of city time. I highly recommend doing a subscription to something you could both enjoy ~ music, plays, etc.

We LOVE going out to eat but don't go out nearly as much since having kids. When we do, it's not the expensive places we might have gone to in the past, but we still love finding places where we can linger over the meal, savor a glass of wine and talk. We both enjoy wine tastings and occasionally go to our local wine store for them. The owner always has lollipops for the kids so we have dragged the kids along a couple times as well on a weekend.

Long walks and hikes, although it's been ages since we've done it just the two of us; we do this as a family now.

Cooking together.

[kijip]

We have a symphony subscription too this season- 1/2 the time we take T, so we only go alone a few times a year.

In the past we have done dance lessons together, which we enjoyed. Going every week, right around dinner, though is hard. Most of the things we do together are late night so that the kids are sleeping before we go.

[sweetsue98]

DH and I share a passion for wine. Every Saturday night after the miss go to bed we share a bottle, shot on the couch and talk. Its the best!

[cntrymoon2]

I want to second the class/lesson idea. DH and I did a one night painting class where you could bring your own snacks/wine and it was a blast. For his birthday this year, I signed us up for a 10 week ASL class, because he really got into teaching our DD sign language. We're on week 5 of the class and it is such a fun and different way to spend time together.
I also agree that its give and take. We have different taste in movies, books, and concerts, so we alternate activities. We've been lacking in the date dept. lately, so this class has been an awesome excuse to have a date night once a week.

[DualvansMommy]

We like to watch classic/fun movies, particularly during winters over good bottle of vino with good antipasto food.

Eat out with the kids & without them every week; once or twice a week.

Play words with friends against each other!

Prep/grill (I prep & he grills) food to be enjoyed & eaten out on deck. We do alot of that during spring/summer seasons.

Attend festivals. Wine, balloon, 4H, and pets festivals. Our favorites is the balloon which is right by our town, so we always host a BBQ cuz people can watch balloons floating by over our backyard after attending the festival earlier.

Take walks together. Still alot of that as our little one is stroller dependent. Pre kids, we used to love taking scene drives and stop by for brunches at cute hole in the wall places. Walks kinda replace that a little bit :)

Go to our country club for themed fun; i.e Friday family pasta nights, festival/fireworks on July 4th at club, Italian night dinner, etc.

We try to go the city (NYC) once a weekend day/night of shopping, broadway and dinner. Eventually hopefully that'll change into solo date overnight trips once the little one is older.